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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/elle
Review Requests: OFF
526 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
I generally give an overview of the item, then point out any corrections, suggestions or highlight favourite lines. I am a member of "Invalid Item, "WDC Addicts Anonymous the Paper Doll Gang and a captain of the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group. See my reviews below for examples.
I'm good at...
Proofreading and catching typos, spelling mistakes and incorrect grammar.
Favorite Genres
Romance, fantasy
Least Favorite Genres
Horror
Favorite Item Types
Poetry.
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... Next
1
1
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Ray Scrivener ,
I found your poem at the Rebel Poetry contest.

*Burstp* GENERAL:
This poem speaks to me about the decline of society, but in particular the damage we are wreaking on our planet. Perhaps that's because I recently witnessed the students protesting against climate change, but that's what it put me in mind of. It has a sort of reprimanding tone, scolding those who are oblivious to the damage or who pretend to be.


*Burstp* CONVENTION:
I'm not very good at recognising poetic structures, but your poem has an abab rhyme structure. I didn't notice any errors with your rhymes. *Thumbsup*

I liked the use of internal rhyme, such as 'Ever consuming, always polluting'. The long u sounds work well together.

I also liked the use of alliterations, such as with 'It’s always simpler to sedate'.


*Burstp* SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT:
Eyes blind to countless facts displayed.
Blaming problems on countless youths

You use the word 'countless' twice in two lines here. I don't think the word gains any emphasis from the repetition, so I think the poem would be stronger if you replaced one instance with a different word.

Our debates are antithetic
I'm not sure what you were trying to say here. Aren't debates antithetic by nature? Like saying a punch is violent? Maybe you mean that the debates are contributing to the problem? If so, I'm not sure that's entirely clear.


*Burstp* FAVOURITE LINES:
Blaming problems on countless youths
Inheriting our sins, old debts unpaid.

I really like the way you phrased this, with the youth inheriting our sins. So true, and yet something we so rarely acknowledge.

How pathetic and yet poetic
I love, love, LOVE this line. *Bigsmile*


*Burstp* FINAL NOTE:
This is a fabulous poem. I really enjoyed reading it, and it struck a chord with me. I think it only needs a tiny bit of polishing and it'll be perfect. *Bigsmile* Great work and good luck in the contest!
Elle



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review of Venom of Truth  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Hi Dominique

I found your poem at the Rebel Poetry Contest.


*Burstp* GENERAL:
It's a dark poem, with a sense of bitterness or pain. The last stanza gives the impression that the poem is directed at a woman (I know, huge assumption, it could be a man!). Between the title and the words in the poem, it is evident that there are words that have wounded the narrator, presumably in anger. The words 'you pick a fight' suggest the words don't happen accidentally.


*Burstp* CONVENTION:
The poem rhymes, but otherwise appears to be free verse. Most of the rhymes works well, but I didn't feel like 'words' and 'curse' rhymed. It might be that my accent is different to yours, I get that a lot, but when I read it, those two didn't work.

I like the idea of clouds hovering denoting dark emotions and turmoil, but I didn't understand the word 'tenebrous' and I wonder how many of your other readers will know this word. Perhaps a more easily understandable word would better convey your meaning? Another one that I struggled with was 'cholers'. I've never come across that one before and it made me stop and try and figure out the meaning, disrupting the flow of the poem for me.


*Burstp* GRAMMAR AND SPELLING:
Shame and embarassed of the family name.
'Embarassed' should be spelled 'embarrassed' and I think instead of 'of' the family name, it should be 'by' the family name.

Customs prevail with you in absentia and I see no end.
To me this line says that things keep going despite her best efforts. Which...seems like a good thing? I feel like I'm missing something here, and I'm sure there's something I've misunderstood.

I can't tell?
This doesn't appear to be a question, so I think it would be better with a full stop rather than a question mark.


*Burstp* SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT:
Stuck in rumination of the past that I still yearn
It's not clear here who is stuck in 'rumination of the past'. If the narrator is yearning for the past, it makes sense that the narrator is the one stuck ruminating, but it sounds more like the narrator is accusing the other person of doing the ruminating. Either way, it's not clear to me.

I'd take a bet- not one step you would climb
It's not clear what this means. Climb one step of what, to where? This doesn't seem to link to anything else in the poem. Of course, it may refer to something personal of which only you know, but I'm just telling you what I see as a reader.


*Burstp* FAVOURITE LINES:
missing the young version of you, way back
I have definitely felt this yearning for an earlier time and a younger version of a friend or family member. I think many will connect with this line.


*Burstp* FINAL NOTE:
I think the poem is a little confusing, but I also think that it wouldn't take very much at all to make it clearer. You can change a few words and easily unleash the potential.

Thank you for sharing this, and good luck in the contest!
Elle



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review of Cold Front  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Sir Various
Congratulations on being chosen to feature in the Rising Stars' poetry showcase for April! *Delight*

*Burstp* GENERAL:
I can't believe this is your first attempt at writing poetry. I wish my early poetry was so good! This is pretty incredible. *Smile*

The poem gives me the impression of a beautiful autumn or winter day which has clear blue skies and sunshine, but it's cool without the warmth of a summer sun. I love those kind of days!


*Burstp* CONVENTION:
The poem appears to be free verse. I love the description of the sky as a 'cerulean blanket' in the first line. It's what initially grabbed my attention and drew me into the poem. I also love the personification of the wind as a 'brusque bluster' (nice alliteration too!).


*Burstp* SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT:
I didn't understand the line 'The crisp quip of tawny bermuda'. I love the 'crisp quip' part, but what is the 'tawny bermuda' referring to? I was a bit lost. I feel a bit stupid for being lost, but I still am. *Laugh*


*Burstp* FAVOURITE LINES:
I really loved the first two lines, they were easily my favourite. Fantastic start to a lovely poem.


*Burstp* FINAL NOTE:
Seriously, how was this your first ever poem? That's insane. It's so good! I was really impressed. Your use of figurative language was wonderful, and your imagery was superb. I really enjoyed this, thank you so much for sharing.
Elle



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hi there,
I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest.


*Burstp* GENERAL:
I must admit I had a little chuckle when I read that you started your letter just an hour and a half before the deadline. That's definitely something I'm prone to doing! *Laugh*

You spoke a bit about previous letters you'd written to yourself, and shared those with us, but when it got to your goals, we only got one sentence. *Sad* It would have been nice to have a clear goal, with the steps you'll need to take to finish it, and deadlines for each step. Research shows that goals that are specific, measurable and time-bound are more likely to be achieved.

Having said that, I'm fascinated by your 'big project'. You're writing memoirs? That's awesome! I'm keen to find out more. *Bigsmile*


*Burstp* GRAMMAR/SPELLING:
There were a couple of years when I skipped this but, most of the years you heard from me.
I think in this sentence, the comma should go before the 'but', not after it.


*Burstp* FINAL NOTE:
Your letter was easy to read and had a lovely conversational tone. Your project sounds fascinating. I would have just liked to have had more detail on your goal(s). *Smile*

Thanks for entering "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest! It was a pleasure reading your entry.
Elle



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review of Dear Me  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there,
I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest.


*Burstp* GENERAL:
I loved your goals. It's interesting how much our roles change over our time at Writing.com, isn't it? Mine certainly has, with a very obvious move away from in-depth reviewing, and it sounds like yours has too.

I particularly liked your comment about recording the family stories for posterity. That's a passion of mine, so I wanted to shout "Yes!" *Laugh* You mentioned finding contests to enter your stories into. I'm not sure that there are many (any?) non-fiction contests anymore. Maybe it's time to re-open "Roots & Wings Historical Fiction Contest!

The letters to your children sound amazing. What sorts of things are you going to say to them? I'm just being nosy now, but I'm intrigued. I've heard of people who write one letter a year to their kids from the child's birth, but I heard of the idea too late to do that one.


*Burstp* GRAMMAR/SPELLING:
that is negative and quite often inaccurate.
'Is' should be 'are' as the words are plural.

You are now the Patriarch of the family clan.
Patriarch doesn't require a capital letter.

one, a Life Story of some facet of your life before children
'life story' doesn't require capital letter, although I appreciate you may be trying to add emphasis.


*Burstp* FINAL NOTE:
This was a wonderfully positive, encouraging letter to yourself. While you mention where you've fallen down in the past or how your journey has deviated from the plan, it's not overly negative, and if I found your letter motivating, I'm sure you did too! Your goals are clear and specific, and you've set deadlines for yourself, so I'm sure you'll achieve what you set out to. I hope you have a fabulous 2019 and I look forward to seeing you (and your reviews and stories) around the site. *Bigsmile*
Elle



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review of Dear Me  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there,
I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest.


*Burstp* GENERAL:
This was such a lovely letter. I'm sorry that you haven't been well, and you're right not to overdo it or put too much pressure on yourself. You've still set some great goals though, and I'm sure you'll have a great year.


*Burstp* GRAMMAR/SPELLING:
You can’t get away with that sort of mind games this time around
This was the only error I found! I think you need make game singular or else say 'those sorts of mind games'.


*Burstp* FAVOURITE LINES:
You need to take things one day at a time and work as you can each day without feeling as if you need to catch up on six weeks of life all in a week or two. You are good, dearest Me, but no one is that good!
I think a lot of people forget that they're still human and can't be perfect. *Wink*


*Burstp* FINAL NOTE:
It sounds like you're doing everything right, and I'm sure you'll have a fantastic 2019. Best of luck!
Elle



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
Review of Dear Me 2019  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there,
I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest.

You've done a great job outlining your goals and plans for 2019. You've been specific about what needs to be done and when, and you've made it clear why those goals are important to you.

I didn't notice any typos or grammar errors, and I couldn't think of any suggestions for improvement.

Great job! And thanks for entering "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest!
Elle

8
8
Review of Dear Me 2019  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi there,
I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest.


*Burstp* GENERAL:
It sounds like you had a tough year in 2018. I'm sorry to hear that. Too often at Writing.com we only see what's on the surface. I'm sure I wasn't the only one who thought that you were having a spectacular year, because of the contest and Quill wins. Just goes to show, eh?


*Burstp* SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT:
Stop using work, sleep, and family time as excuses--nobody needs those, right?
Now now. Everyone needs those, and you know it. Don't be so hard on yourself. Baby steps is the way to do it. Slowly start building a habit of writing regularly. Start with once a week and see how you go. Or just write when a prompt inspires you, if you write to prompts. Don't beat yourself up if you can't do everything all the time. The key is balance.


*Burstp* FAVOURITE LINES:
If it came with a year’s supply of metaphorical crack, it might even have carried you through all the other stuff.
I wish I could award metaphorical crack with Quills! *Laugh*

How many times can a zombie blog die before it can’t be brought back anymore?
Actually, I suspect there's no limit to it. In fact, I'm certain there's not. So many of us have resurrected blogs numerous times. You can too. *Smile*

I loved your goal of getting the family stories out of your grandmother while she's still living. I'm all about that! Make that a priority. Or is that just me pushing my own goals on to you? *Blush* I loved reading that though. Too many people don't acknowledge the importance of those stories and memories until it's too late.

you’ll survive being middle-aged and married, employed and healthy.
Yes! Those other things sound truly awful, but I'm glad to hear you're in a good space now. Onwards and upwards!


*Burstp* FINAL NOTE:
You got a little hard on yourself in paragraph seven, but otherwise, I thought this was a motivational letter. You've been through some really tough stuff, but you've dealt with those and now you're in a space where you can devote some precious time and energy to your writing again. You know that your writing is awesome. The contest and Quill wins can vouch for that. So go a little bit easy on yourself, and I look forward to seeing you around the site.
Elle



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
Review of Dear Me  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi there,
I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest.


*Burstp* GENERAL:
This letter read as a scolding to yourself, which was quite amusing. It wasn't actually negative in tone, despite that. I felt motivated and inspired, and it wasn't even written for me! *Laugh*


*Burstp* GRAMMAR/SPELLING:
Uh Oh !
You don't need the capital letter on 'oh', or the extra space before the exclamation mark.

There are a few places throughout your item where you have a space before a punctuation mark, such as a comma or full stop. I recommend you go through and check them all and remove the unnecessary spaces.


*Burstp* FINAL NOTE:
I'm highly impressed that you've been writing a complete piece each day, let alone submitting it. That's amazing. I definitely couldn't do that. It's a lofty goal to keep that going all the way through 2019, but it'll be superb if you can do it. Best of luck!
Elle



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
Review of Dear Me, 2019  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi there,
I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest.


*Burstp* GENERAL:
This was a very original entry, and I congratulate you for thinking outside the box! *Bigsmile*

It was a little awkward to read in places where you assumed that certain things were going to happen certain ways, because the 2019 you already knew how they turned out and so you had to say certain things. Man, I've confused myself now! *Laugh* Where you said things like 'I have a feeling' or 'I'm sure', simply because the 2019 you already knows how things turn out. I felt that you could be a bit more uncertain, because the letter was 'written' 51 years ago and therefore you could be more wild and even potentially make mistakes in your assumptions.


*Burstp* GRAMMAR/SPELLING:
I may even try to write some Poetry too.
There will already be a lot of Short Story and Poetry contests.
I wonder if the group or groups have writing Challenges.
I love writing Challenges.

Short story, poetry and challenges don't need capital letters.

I also want to become more with the group or groups.
You seem to be missing a word from this sentence. Maybe more 'active' with the group?

Who knows.
This is not a complete sentence in and of itself. I would change the full stop to a comma and join it to the sentence that comes after it.

At least I probably will for a lot of them. maybe even most of them.
I think the full stop after them was meant to be a comma.

If they don’t exist maybe that’s something new, I can start with the group or groups.
This doesn't need a comma after new. Although it might be good to add a comma after exist.

But what if they both die before then.
This is a question and should end in a question mark.

Another possibility is that what all I have written in this letter isn’t going to happen either.
This sentence sounds like it might be a bit colloquial. Perhaps consider rewording to something like 'Another possibility is that all I have written in this letter isn't going to happen.'


*Burstp* SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT:
That is how I’m going to end it. I think I have finished this letter. So, it’s time for me to decide how I’m going to end it.
This confused me. You've decided how you're going to end it, it's finished, now it's time to decide how to end it? Um, what? *Confused* I think you need to review that section.


*Burstp* FINAL NOTE:
This was an interesting read, and quite different to most of the other entries. It sounds like you've got a lot going on in 2019 and some great goals to work towards. I wish you the best of luck!
Elle



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
Review of Dear Me  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there,
I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest.


*Burstp* GENERAL:
You've focused on one important project for 2019, and your letter to yourself was so positive and certain, that I'm sure you'll make fabulous progress with it.

I love that you tempered your positivity with a dose of reality but didn't let that stop you and just doubled up on the encouragement. *Bigsmile*


*Burstp* GRAMMAR/SPELLING:
Imagine feeling it’s thickness
You don't need an apostrophe in its in this sentence.

‘ I DID IT.’
You have an extra space after the first speech mark.


*Burstp* FAVOURITE LINES:
I’ll also allow you to take time out to sunbathe, read and enjoy the long, warm evenings as that will help to energise you and erase any doubts left over from winter.
After the previous stern admonishments, this made me smile. *Smile*


*Burstp* FINAL NOTE:
You're very clear about exactly what needs doing, when it needs doing and why you're doing it. You know how you're going to deal with every potential outcome (I've got my fingers crossed for champagne!) and you're determined to push through. I am sure 2019 will be amazing for you. I am sure your family and friends will be delighted to be able to hold that book in their hands, and it will prove to be a much-cherished gift.

Thanks for entering "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest! It was a pleasure reading your entry.
Elle



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
Review of Dear Me 2019  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there,
I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest.


*Burstp* GENERAL:
Your letter was so encouraging and positive. There was a perfect balance of striving for achievement and relaxing. You noted all the areas of your life that needed to be remembered and looked after.


*Burstp* GRAMMAR/SPELLING:
Your life, your journey, your success. and even your failure is God-breathed.
You've got a full stop after success when it should be a comma.


*Burstp* SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT:
There were very few specifics and timeframes to your goals. They were lofty goals, but not broken down into specific tasks that needed to be done by specific deadlines. Generally speaking, goals are more likely to be achieved if they're specific, time-bound and measurable. I wonder if it would be worth taking the time to note some initial steps to get you underway and building the habits you want to create.


*Burstp* FAVOURITE LINES:
You may not have achieved as much as you might have liked to in the first half of your life but there is nothing written that says the second half cannot be spectacular.
Yes! I love this line. So positive and encouraging. *Bigsmile*

Relax, smile and enjoy the process.
This is something that can too often be forgotten.

Most of all, remember to be fabulous and shine among the stars.
Perfectly said!


*Burstp* FINAL NOTE:
As I noted at the beginning, your entry was wonderfully encouraging. I'm sure you'll have no problem motivating yourself again by re-reading this letter if you should start to lose focus. I have yet to finish a tertiary qualification, so I can understand your drive to complete yours. Best of luck, and I hope you have a fantastic 2019.
Elle



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
Review of Dear Me 2019  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi there,
I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest.


*Burstp* GENERAL:
Overall, your goals are well thought out and specific. You have designated a certain number of times that you need to do a task, or how often a task should be performed. You also expand on the reasoning behind each goal and why you should be motivated to move forward with it, which will help you if you find yourself losing motivation or focus further down the track.


*Burstp* GRAMMAR/SPELLING:
no each day
You probably need a comma after 'no'.


*Burstp* SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT:
Your first goal is to 'ground yourself in your faith'. You mention some concepts such as forgiving yourself and others, but I thought it might be beneficial to expand this goal into specific steps. How do you go about forgiveness? How does one 'take out the trash inside your spirit'? I just felt that some clear steps could be outlined that would make this goal more achievable for you. You did it for the other goals, so I think it would be beneficial for this topic too.


*Burstp* FAVOURITE LINES:
Do not procrastinate or expect perfection—this thinking paralyzes you.
Oh yes, I'm very familiar with that concept! That's me to a tee - either procrastinating or expecting perfection. *Facepalm* Well done on recognising that in yourself and making it clear that this will be hurdle you will face but aren't prepared to let it stop you.

I loved your idea of contacting people you've neglected and baking cookies for the woman across the street. I should incorporate some goals like that for myself.


*Burstp* FINAL NOTE:
This was a really positive, encouraging entry. I feel sure that you're going to have a great 2019. It feels like you've got improvements planned for each facet of your life, and I wish you the very best of luck with it all.
Elle



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
Review of Dear Me  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there,
I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest.


*Burstp* GENERAL:
Your letter had a lovely conversational style that was easy to read, but made it feel a little like I was overhearing something I shouldn't. *Laugh* Your obscure references to things only you know about heightened that sense. I'm not saying it was bad, as actually I think it added a sense of personality to your letter. *Smile*


*Burstp* GRAMMAR/SPELLING:
Or a form of writing that was not in you comfort zone?
Just missing the r on 'your'.


*Burstp* SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT:
I noted that your three primary goals were to continue with I Write and the Contest Challenge, and draft a 'big project'. Other than that, I didn't note any specifics. If you had any other goals hidden in there (perhaps in terms of your reviewing), you probably need to make them more specific. On the flip side, I do understand that those contests are challenge enough!


*Burstp* FAVOURITE LINES:
In fact, see if you can rewrite a story in a different voice! Double dog dare ya.
This made me laugh. *Smile* So, have you done it yet??


*Burstp* FINAL NOTE:
You've set yourself up with some major goals that should see you through 2019. I know from experience how tricky some of those are! I Write is no easy challenge. There were occasions you got a wee bit negative towards yourself and your own skills, but overall the tone was positive, encouraging and supportive. I'm sure you'll have a great 2019. Best of luck!
Elle



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
15
15
Review of Dear Me  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi there,
I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest.


*Burstp* GENERAL:
You've got a great set of very specific goals, and timeframes for each of them. I think you're well set up to have a fantastic year.


*Burstp* SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT:
I didn't quite understand all your goals, particularly the writing goals. I wasn't sure if (Tag) meant you were going to link to a contest or site, or if it meant something else that you understood. It was a little confusing to me as a reader. Also, did you mean to write 'comment fic'? I'm never heard of comment fic. I'm not saying that either of these things were 'wrong', I'm just pointing out areas where it might have been possible to make things clearer for your reader. *Smile*


*Burstp* FAVOURITE LINES:
there’s no reason you can’t have a successful year.
Agreed! *Bigsmile*

I liked your idea of plotting it all out on a calendar too. That usually helps me stay on track.


*Burstp* FINAL NOTE:
Your goals seem realistic and achievable, and you seem motivated and inspired. I am sure you'll have a fabulous 2019. Best of luck!
Elle



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
16
Review of Dear Bob 2019  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi there,
I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest.


*Burstp* GENERAL:
Writing your Dear Me letter as a poem was a unique idea. I like the way you think outside the box. *Smile*

Your poem has a fabulous rhythm, and the rhyme scheme works really well. It's easy to read and flows smoothly.


*Burstp* GRAMMAR/SPELLING:
how other's praise can make you glow

As there are multiple others, the apostrophe should be after the s, not before it.


*Burstp* SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT:
I would have liked to see a little more specifics of your goals and how you were going to achieve them, but I understand that is tricky to incorporate into a poem. *Smile*

I also thought calling yourself a 'lazy, good-for-nothing slob' was a wee bit too negative, and would have preferred something that was more encouraging to finish your letter with.

I found the emoticons distracting and didn't feel they contributed anything. It's just a personal opinion of course, but I would take them out.


*Burstp* FAVOURITE LINES:
But don't forget you love to write
immersed in words that rhyme and flow.

This spoke to me, because ultimately, that's why we all do this, right?


*Burstp* FINAL NOTE:
Your poem was well written in terms of rhythm, rhyme and flow, and I couldn't note any errors except that one apostrophe. I would be sad indeed to see you stop the poetry altogether, but I wish you the very best of luck with your novels and with 2019 in general.

Thanks for entering "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest! It was a pleasure reading your entry.
Elle



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
17
17
Review of Dear Me, 2019  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there,
I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest.


*Burstp* GENERAL:
Your letter was heartfelt and packed a really powerful emotional punch. I think it was brave of you to share so much of yourself, but perhaps that was a small detail after you've achieved so much and overcome so many challenges.


*Burstp* GRAMMAR/SPELLING:
There's been plenty of times
I think this should be there've rather than there's. There have been plenty of times, rather than there has been plenty of times. Does that sound right?

this is the steps you'll need to take to achieve it.
This should be 'these are the steps' rather than 'this is the steps'.

Once your comfortable with the arrangement
Your should be you're.


*Burstp* FAVOURITE LINES:
Not everyone is brave enough to admit they need help.
Too true. It sounds like you're doing everything possible to enable you to succeed.

Maintaining a healthy life with balance requires doing what you love as well.
Yes! So many people focus on the 'must dos' that they forget to just enjoy some moments.


*Burstp* FINAL NOTE:
You've already achieved so much, and I'm sure it's down to your fantastic attitude. You're positive, you encourage yourself, you have great reasoning behind all your goals and decisions, and you're determined. On top of all of that, you're realistic and don't beat yourself up for your mistakes. I am sure 2019 will be a fantastic year for you. Best of luck!
Elle



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
Review of Dear Me  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there,
I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest.


*Burstp* GENERAL:
Your letter was really clear, straight forward and simple. I think it set out a great plan for you to follow, and really set you up for success. *Thumbsup*


*Burstp* FAVOURITE LINES:
Your comment about referring to yourself in the second person made me laugh, but I think my favourite sentence was the reminder to check back on this list of goals periodically. I'm certain you're headed for success!


*Burstp* FINAL NOTE:
This was short, sweet and succinct. I think your goals all realistic and achievable. You know exactly what you need to do to achieve each one of them. You're motivated and enthusiastic. 2019 is going to be a great year for you!

Thanks for entering "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest! It was a pleasure reading your entry.
Elle



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
19
19
Review of Dear Me  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there,
I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest.


*Burstp* GENERAL:
Your project sounds like it means a lot to you, and you're clearly inspired to finish, you're just a procrastinator. Me too! I definitely saw a lot of myself in your comments.


*Burstp* GRAMMAR/SPELLING:
It was your childhood memories of choosing greetings cards that gave rise to the germ of an idea.
'Greetings' doesn't need an s on it.


*Burstp* FAVOURITE LINES:
If you were an elephant, you could have given birth to two baby elephants in that time.
*Laugh*

It's only when there's no given time limit that you behave as if you have all the time in the world.
Oh yeah, that's so me! *Laugh* I'm a great procrastinator too, and deadlines are the only thing that get me to finish projects. I'm definitely with you on this one!


*Burstp* FINAL NOTE:
You've got the goal, it sounds achievable, and you also know how you're going to do it and why. You're positive, even while scolding yourself, and enthusiastic. I'm sure you'll achieve your dream. Best of luck for 2019!
Elle



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
Review of 'Dear Me'  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there,
I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest.


*Burstp* GENERAL:
Your entry reads as if you got more excited and enthusiastic about your goals as you wrote. I love that! You have a wonderful passion, and it made your letter a treat to read.


*Burstp* GRAMMAR/SPELLING:
Due to unexpected health issues that halted my progress in the middle of 2018 to have my first book completed before the year ended.
This sentence doesn't quite make sense in isolation. I wasn't sure if it was meant to flow on from the previous sentence (maybe it should have had a comma rather than a full stop) or if it just needs rewording slightly so that it flows better.

This New Year 2019, will be a continued part of last years goal.
Years should be year's, and I think you need a comma after New Year.

I know it will not happen over night
Overnight is one word.


*Burstp* SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT:
I did feel like the steps you were going to take to complete your goals could have been laid out in specifics a little more. I wasn't 100% clear on what you were going to do in regards to the animated production or promotion. If you are, that's great, but if not, it might help to just set out those steps so you have a clear path to follow to help you achieve those goals.


*Burstp* FAVOURITE LINES:
It's a promise I am making to myself, to my son and to my husband that anything can be done if you are determined enough.
I love the positivity and encouragement of this whole paragraph, but this sentence was my favourite. What a fantastic example you are setting. *Bigsmile*


*Burstp* FINAL NOTE:
You believe in yourself, and I believe in you too! You can do it! Best of luck!
Elle



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
Review of Attempt 1938  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi there,
I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest.


*Burstp* GENERAL:
I thought your entry was a little negative. You started off with 'Another imminent failure', which doesn't really set you up for success, does it? I would have like to have seen a more encouraging start. And although at the end you note that you're dedicated, you note again that failure is inevitable. While I applaud you for realising that you'd still make progress even if you 'failed', I feel like you could have used more positive, encouraging language.


*Burstp* GRAMMAR/SPELLING:
What is different this time one might ask
I think you need a comma after time in that sentence.

hick-ups
Technically it's spelled 'hiccoughs', but most people spell it 'hiccups'.

Each will be around the 5k-10k words.
You don't need 'the' in that sentence.

I will have made some progress for the attempt 1939
This would read better if you changed 'the attempt 1939' to 'the 1939th attempt'.


*Burstp* SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT:
Not too much, but slightly. I kind of want it to be a failure so the change can be all me
I wasn't 100% clear what you meant here. Were you meaning that you hoped your entry didn't win the contest so that you could look back on the letter as a tool for progressing your goals rather than as something written for a contest? It might need a little clarifying just to make it clearer. Maybe instead of referring to 'it', you could refer to 'this entry' and instead of 'be a failure' which has very negative connotations, you could say 'not to win' or something similar.


*Burstp* FAVOURITE LINES:
Your goals are simple, clear, specific and time-bound for the most part, which means you're more likely to achieve them. You clearly know what you want to achieve, why, and by when. I hope that this means success for you this time, instead of imminent or inevitable failure. *Wink*


*Burstp* FINAL NOTE:
Your goals are great, and I hope you have sufficient success this year that you can start off next year with a more positive approach. Best of luck for 2019!
Elle



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
Review of Dear Me  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there,
I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest.


*Burstp* GENERAL:
The first paragraph really spoke to me. I've kept journals and blogs (the modern day equivalent of the journal, right?) since I was 14. Your words really resonated with me. It is a legacy, it is a record, and it has also been cathartic and a much-needed outlet. So well said.


*Burstp* SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT:
You have a lot of text in just a few paragraphs, and you've also bolded it, so it's a little hard on the eyes. Consider breaking up the paragraphs to add a few more gaps.

Your writing goal is great - clear and specific. I thought you could perhaps have expanded slightly on your contest goal and clarified perhaps which contests or how many you might enter.


*Burstp* FAVOURITE LINES:
Ego’s hushed passion baptized as next of kin
I love the imagery of 'Ego's hushed passion'. *Smile*

To write life’s lyrics as the song emerges
Author the moments in romantic originality

This is beautiful.

March to my own band as the impulse surges
Yes! *Thumbsup*

I will find humor in mundane tasks of life and sculpt whimsical tales. Mystery and mayhem will jaunt through my pages as I lead the reader on a path of intrigue.
Your imagery is fantastic.


*Burstp* FINAL NOTE:
You have a lovely style of writing that gives your entry a sense of whimsy. It was a pleasure to read. I wish you the best of luck with 2019.
Elle



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
23
Review of Dear Me 2019  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
Hi there,
I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest.


*Burstp* GENERAL:
Wow, you've really set yourself a challenge for 2019, haven't you? At first I thought that your goal was too vague and too over-reaching to achieve. You stated that you need to 'discontinue behaviour', 'practice holiness' and 'put off sin', and I was thinking 'That's great, but how?' Then further down, you specify exactly what you need to do in order to make progress on your goal. Great work!

That said, the steps you've outlined have a deadline of January 10. So you've got the start of the journey mapped out, but what comes after that? I hope you've got plans so that you can make progress on your goal.


*Burstp* GRAMMAR/SPELLING:
Yet you "can do all things through Jesus Christ who gives you strength, Philippians 4:13.
You start quotation marks, but don't close them. You need the closing one after 'strength'.


*Burstp* SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT:
I want to require you to
You don't need both want and require at the beginning of this sentence. Either will do.

In your fifth paragraph, you use exclamation marks six times. The more you use an exclamation mark, the less impact it has. Maybe consider if each of these sentences really requires such emphasis, or if the emphasis would be greater if you only used one or two.

Most of your item was balanced, with reminders that you have support and that your goals are achievable. I did feel like it ended quite negatively, and that it would have been nicer to end on a positive, encouraging note.


*Burstp* FAVOURITE LINES:
You may as well be flipping God the bird that doesn't fly as your attitude is one of outright rebellion!
I couldn't help but smile at this imagery. It's very visual, but also gives the reader a good idea of how you feel your behaviour disrespects God.


*Burstp* FINAL NOTE:
I think you made a start on sharing your faith with the community with this entry, but I hope you also look back on 2019 and feel you made progress with your more personal goals. Best of luck to you.
Elle



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
24
24
Review of Dear Me  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hi there,
I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest.


*Burstp* GENERAL:
I love that you kept your goals simple, choosing just the one that was most important to you. I think it would have helped to clarify the specifics of the goal though, and spell out the steps you'll need to take. That'll make it easier for you to achieve it.


*Burstp* GRAMMAR/SPELLING:
You just don’t embarrass yourself by make them on New Year’s day.
I believe that technically New Year's Day should have capital letters on each word.


*Burstp* SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT:
You decided on 'serious reviewing' as your goal, which was a recap of 'Take reviewing other people's work more seriously'. But what does that mean? How do you take it more seriously? Does that mean you spend more time on each review? Is there a length of review you're aiming for? Are you going to take reviewing classes (I believe there are some on this site)? Are you going to join a reviewing group? How are you going to achieve your goal? And how will you know when you've achieved it?

By the way, everyone has something to offer in a review. What did you like about a piece? What didn't you like about it? As a reader, how did it make you feel? While it's great to get professional feedback that gives us insights into things like characters, plots, structure, imagery, what-have-you, ultimately we're all writing for the readers. If you loved a character, that's great. It helps the author know that they're on the right track. If you dislike a character, even if you're not sure why, that gives the author valuable feedback. If you were bored, that's valuable feedback too, because the author can then go back and look at ways of increasing the action or making 'showing rather than telling'. You don't have to know how to fix the piece in order to provide valuable feedback on it. Every opinion is valuable. And truly, that's the point of a website like this. You don't have to have a certain level of experience in editing or publishing to be able to give a review. Anyone can give a review. Just like anyone can review a book on Amazon. Your opinion is valuable. But, having said all that, if you're not confident giving reviews, there are groups on this site that can help you structure your reviews and give you checklists of things to look for so that you can feel more confident about the feedback you're giving. If you want some guidance on who to talk to, let me know. *Smile*


*Burstp* FINAL NOTE:
I'm hopelessly optimistic too, so I feel you there! *Laugh* I think you've chosen a great focus for 2019, and I look forward to seeing your reviews all around the site. Best of luck!
Elle




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
25
25
Review of Dear Me  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi there,
I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest.


*Burstp* GENERAL:
This item had a great blend of seriousness and humour. Sometimes I thought 'Ooh, that's a wee bit negative' but then you balanced it with the positive, the humour, the enthusiasm and encouragement. Great work.


*Burstp* SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT:
Some of your goals could stand to be a little more specific. I was a bit gobsmacked when I read your line about reading every bit of fiction that crossed your path (that's a LOT of fiction!!) but then you specified that the goal was 52 books in 2019. However, most of your other goals weren't broken down into specifics. Your goal of getting up earlier, for example, or your hobbies goal. Research shows that we're more likely to achieve a goal if it's specific and measurable, so while your goals are definitely worthy ones, it might be of benefit to make them a little more specific.


*Burstp* FAVOURITE LINES:
Please stick with them this time, as the last list made a lousy cat box liner.
This made me laugh. *Bigsmile*

Read every piece of great and terrible fiction that crosses your path.
Yes! Because we don't just learn from reading 'great' works of writing, we also learn from the bad. But not only that, sometimes it's nicer to read something less intellectual and we can just read and enjoy for fun, you know?

Digest it, mull it over, swish it around and breath in the floral bouquet of every pretty word.
Loved how poetic this line was.

Invest in memories, not things.
Oh, well said. I'm 100% in agreement with that. *Thumbsup*


*Burstp* FINAL NOTE:
I really loved that paragraph about making memories with your kids. That finished the entry off on a really powerful, encouraging note, backed up with your 'embrace spontaneity' sentence that followed. If you do nothing else in 2019, I hope you take that paragraph onboard and make some truly wonderful memories with your kids. And I shall endeavour to do the same. That way, we'll both be awesome parents. *Laugh*

Thanks for entering "Dear Me: Official WDC Contest! It was a pleasure reading your entry.
Elle



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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