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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/franksimon/sort_by/r.review_creation_time+DESC/sort_by_last/r.review_creation_time+DESC/page/5
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212 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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101
101
Review of Times of essence  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello prontisimo,
Overall I liked the subject and it's meaning. But the 2nd line I'm having trouble with. I can't follow what you're trying to get across to the reader. I'm also wondering if you should make this a quatrain? (4 lines then a break),then 2 lines for the last stanza.
Do as you wish to polish this one up a little and you've got a great poem! Good job so far!
Keep pushin' the pen from what comes within.
Frank
102
102
Review of W - A - T - ER  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Scott,
Good job with this one! I liked your flow throughout the poem. Write on!
Frank aka Thaddeus Buxton Winthrop
103
103
Review of Mist  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Maria-n,
The clouds of gray envelop your soul in this poem. I hope times are brighter now.
I like the poem, but I would consider changing the title. Gray inside darkness, something to that nature.
These are just my thoughts, consider what others think before changing anything. Good write!
Keep pushin' the pen from what comes within.
Frank aka Thaddeus Buxton Winthrop
104
104
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Zuly,
This a good write. Dark, but a good write. May this bring some ray of sunshine into your soul. I also sympathize with you as well.
Keep pushin' the pen from what comes within.
Frank aka Thaddeus Buxton Winthrop
105
105
Review of The Ocean Calls  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Miss Momo,
I enjoyed this write. Sounds as though you were born a mermaid, then became miss momo.
Favorite line; The peace is only there when I'm immersed.
Least fav. line; I cry when I'm not wet;
Consider- I cry to become wet or something of that nature. Or, keep it the way you have it!
Wonderful words for imagery, keep on writing!
Keep pushin' the pen from what comes within.
Frank aka Thaddeus Buxton Winthrop
106
106
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good job goddess,
I liked the flow and imagery. There's only one word I didn't care for- surmise. Favorite-the second sentence in the last stanza- Always saying "next time"
present forgotten between planning and past. That is awesome! Keep up the good work. You don't have to change that one word, see what others think.
Keep pushin' the pen from what comes within. Frank
107
107
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Bernard,
Hello again. I like your poem, although the 2nd stanza I think you wanted 'entire', not 'enitre'.
The last rhyme is kind of a stretch, but it works to complete your thoughts. Good job.
Frank Keep pushin the pen from what comes within.
108
108
Review of Have I?  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Kohi,
I believe this to be a nice gesture to your friend who's died. I'm sorry for your loss, but never-the-less, it helped you write this poem!
I think you have a nice poem here. I'm pretty sure you know what the answer is...have I?
Keep pushin' the pen from what comes within.
Frank
109
109
Rated: E | (4.0)
Jennifer,
First of all, don't be too rough on yourself. Things take time. Rewrite your portfolio please. ok?
Alright, 1st poem in my opinion just needs a little polishing up, perhaps make a couplet. 2 lines with a space in between the next 2 lines. Always cap. the first letter of each word in title.
2nd poem I would leave it like it is for now. See what others think. Take care and good luck.
Keep pushin' the pen from what comes within Frank
110
110
Review of Wheel of Love  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Terrrific! Wouldn't change a thing Kat. This is very fluid, while telling a wonderful little story that everyone needs to take to heart. Great write!
Keep pushin' the pen from what comes within.
Frank aka Thaddeus Buxton Winthrop
111
111
Review of Icebound  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Jan,
I love your imagery about jack frost and the numbness of winter. Good write! I wish you could rhyme that last stanza better with 'fingerprints'. Good luck!
Keep pushin' the pen from what comes within.
Frank aka Thaddeus Buxton Winthrop
112
112
Review of November  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good job! The only thing is I wish it was longer.
I'm being selfish, but I'll bet you could come up with some more. Keep on thinking of all that falls to be reborn anew. Hope this helps. Have a good one!
Keep pushin' the pen from what comes within.
Frank aka Thaddeus Buxton Winthrop
113
113
Review of why?  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good Write! You projected imagery very well. I almost got lost in "Tomorrow is almost here, almost gone"
The passage of time is hard to keep up with. It also is the name of one of my poems. check it out if you have time.
The last stanza is excellent! don't change it!
Just being picky but Im needs an ' as in; I'm cautious
Keep pushin' the pen from what comes within.
Frank aka Thaddeus Buxton Winthrop
114
114
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good write Leslie,
I really like the imagery and the story portayed. The only thing I would suggest for input would be;
1. put a comma after the first "people" in 2nd line.
2. perhaps change "stretch of sidewalk" to sand, dirt, something of that nature.
For high school this is a good piece of writing. Just polish it up a little if you want, or see what others say. Keep pushin' the pen from what comes within!
Frank, aka Thaddeus Buxton Winthrop
115
115
Review of Hope  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I loved it!
In the 3rd stanza, I would change the last 2 lines around. This is my opinion. You did an awesome job with this one. Have a great holiday.
Keep pushin' the pen from what comes within.

Frank aka TBW


116
116
Review of Great Sullen Wind  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Celeste,
The only thing I would change, (or add & edit) is the second line in the first stanza. Perhaps something to the nature of; Now the face of dark death was born
Some people say all first letters of each line should be capitalized, That's for you to judge. These are just my opinions, see what others think before changing. You have a great poem here about nature!
I know being from Kansas. Keep pushing the pen from what comes within. Frank aka TBW
117
117
Review of Untitled  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I like the idea of writing on the spot! The only thing I would add is a title and a space between every other line. (couplet) I believe every poem should have a title, it's like a kid without a name I once heard. I'd suggest 'goodbye girl' or something a little darker. I like the flow and choice of words. Keep up the good work!
Keep pushin' the pen from what comes within. Frank aka TBW
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