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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/franksimon/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/sort_by_last/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/5
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233 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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101
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In affiliation with  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello Breezy,

Overall:
What a powerful piece this is! Emotional and unforgiving. Wow, is all I can say.
Well written.

Structure:
I prefer rhyming poetry, but this is good. No confusion for this reader!

Comments:The only change I would consider is simply saying "it would be"
in the 4th from last line. Or, "Yet I think it too hard". Something to that nature?

As always, it is yours. Just giving my opinion. Change is up to you.

Very good write Breezy!
Peace,
Frank
102
102
Review of Misspiss  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Nice job Mark!
You hit the spot on this subject.
Nice flow and rhymes.

Peace,
Frank
103
103
Rated: ASR | N/A (Unratable.)
Beautiful!
Love the flow and very easy to follow the story.
Well Done!

Frank
104
104
Review of Medley  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Congrats on placing 3rd!
I didn't give a five for the reason of using -free and -freed in back to back stanzas. (may sound weird,
that's me) I thought the 6th stanza could be better. Just take in good stride, these are just my opinions.
Take or leave, but at least you placed!!!
I wrote a rough draft of, Smooth as glass, but never completed.
(my bad)

Overall a good poem with smooth flow and rhymes. Good job Cpt. Mannings!

Peace
Frank
105
105
Rated: E | (5.0)
Sounds like a great place to visit, perhaps when the kids are gone and the Mrs. and I could steal away.
I had a poem, smooth as glass-rough draft only, but never finished. (my bad)
But I can see why you placed in the top 3, well done Nani!
I'd lose the comma in the 2nd line of the second and third stanza. Just some input, take or leave.

Congratulations, and a belated welcome to wdc!

Peace
Frank
106
106
Review of Waves  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Great job duckbird!
I had a poem written but never add/edited to be worthy for the contest.
I can see why you won! Smooth meter and rhyme- just like waves.
Congratulations and seeing your new, welcome to the wdc!

Peace,
Frank
107
107
Review of Prose vs Poetry  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I've come to realize I don't have any prose written, just poems.
Do you think writing prose would help sprout a poem?

Very nice in examples and I shall try the assignment.

Peace,
TBW
108
108
Review of Life  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Jezri,
I can see why you won this contest. Very well written indeed!

Great job!!

Peace,
Frank
109
109
Review of Where Glory Fails  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello David,
I also enjoy the "classics" as the triple pen name implies. A belated welcome to WDC my friend from across the pond. (do folks say that anymore?) anyway...

This is very well written, and I like the way you've mentioned that glory truly is worth the sacrifice. Yet they ask nothing of us who seek help from danger summed up perfectly in the last 4 lines of the 2nd stanza. While asking forgiveness of one whom isn't mentioned in the last stanza, but knowing it is close to the parable, "Their is nothing greater than to give one's life for a friend." When actually they are strangers, but to them doesn't matter.

I would have given a 5 rating, but the last 4 lines in stanza 1 don't rhyme as the others, also the 1st two lines of stanza 3. But I'm sure by the talent you have showed here, this poem should be no problem to become even better!

Write On!
Frank aka TBW
110
110
Review of Russian Roulette  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Kira,
A fine write on the spinning chamber thats loaded, (no pun intended) with many thoughts I've had when battling depression! I got better. One note though- I'm not sure if "lay"would sound better than lay's. Nevertheless, keep it the way you have it or wait for more feedback. You have written what I may think, but never was able to come up with on my own. I enjoyed this poem.
Good job again, and keep pushin' the pen from what lies within.
Frank aka TBW
111
111
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
JR,
This is a nice way of saying what we truly can't! (You know what I mean) I think it's funny you have the son in his mid-twenties. Yet, the son is telling Dear old Dad what the communication between people really is!
I think all writers share in his theory of enjoying "thoughts and feelings through the spoken and written word." Great job with this piece JR!
Keep pushin' the pen from what comes within!
Frank aka Thaddeus Buxton Winthrop
112
112
Review of Harder to Love?  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Stealth,
The 4th line ~to~ should be too.
ok, it seems a bit awkward in the third stanza, just the word levee. I like what your trying to get across to the reader, but levee and the last line could be better. I know you are capable of this, judging by how the rest of the poem flows. I would be glad to review when you're finished. Just let me know.
Overall, a good write! Hope this helps.
Frank
113
113
Review of Storm  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Lynette,
I really like your poem. The first stanza, last two lines, and the first two lines of the fourth stanza seemed a stretch to me. If you could polish those up a little you would have a great poem here.
I wrote a poem similar to this titled Sunsets and Storms. If you wouldn't mind giving me an r and r. Being from Kansas I've had plenty of insight in the matter of storms. Sounds like you have too!
Have a good one and keep pushin' the pen from what comes within.
Frank
114
114
Review of I'll Meet You  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Kaya,
Wonderful job with this subject. This is a beautiful poem, keep up the good work. I did notice one small adjustment, second last line has an extra space between and>>life. I love your sense of humor as well in your bio. I feel much the same way. If you ever get athletes foot, it's time to pull your foot from your mouth. haha
Keep pushin' the pen from what comes within.
Frank aka Thaddeus Buxton Winthrop
115
115
Review of Cruel Love  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Nekogal,
You have a nice poem hear. Although I do wish the last line was worded differently. >>But shall I always wait? sounds better to me. But it's your poem, do as you wish. And always see what others think first. Hope this helps, overall a very nice piece of work.
Keep pushin' the pen from what comes within!
Frank aka Thaddeus Buxton Winthrop
116
116
Review of Times of essence  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello prontisimo,
Overall I liked the subject and it's meaning. But the 2nd line I'm having trouble with. I can't follow what you're trying to get across to the reader. I'm also wondering if you should make this a quatrain? (4 lines then a break),then 2 lines for the last stanza.
Do as you wish to polish this one up a little and you've got a great poem! Good job so far!
Keep pushin' the pen from what comes within.
Frank
117
117
Review of W - A - T - ER  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Scott,
Good job with this one! I liked your flow throughout the poem. Write on!
Frank aka Thaddeus Buxton Winthrop
118
118
Review of Mist  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Maria-n,
The clouds of gray envelop your soul in this poem. I hope times are brighter now.
I like the poem, but I would consider changing the title. Gray inside darkness, something to that nature.
These are just my thoughts, consider what others think before changing anything. Good write!
Keep pushin' the pen from what comes within.
Frank aka Thaddeus Buxton Winthrop
119
119
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Zuly,
This a good write. Dark, but a good write. May this bring some ray of sunshine into your soul. I also sympathize with you as well.
Keep pushin' the pen from what comes within.
Frank aka Thaddeus Buxton Winthrop
120
120
Review of The Ocean Calls  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Miss Momo,
I enjoyed this write. Sounds as though you were born a mermaid, then became miss momo.
Favorite line; The peace is only there when I'm immersed.
Least fav. line; I cry when I'm not wet;
Consider- I cry to become wet or something of that nature. Or, keep it the way you have it!
Wonderful words for imagery, keep on writing!
Keep pushin' the pen from what comes within.
Frank aka Thaddeus Buxton Winthrop
121
121
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good job goddess,
I liked the flow and imagery. There's only one word I didn't care for- surmise. Favorite-the second sentence in the last stanza- Always saying "next time"
present forgotten between planning and past. That is awesome! Keep up the good work. You don't have to change that one word, see what others think.
Keep pushin' the pen from what comes within. Frank
122
122
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Bernard,
Hello again. I like your poem, although the 2nd stanza I think you wanted 'entire', not 'enitre'.
The last rhyme is kind of a stretch, but it works to complete your thoughts. Good job.
Frank Keep pushin the pen from what comes within.
123
123
Review of Have I?  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Kohi,
I believe this to be a nice gesture to your friend who's died. I'm sorry for your loss, but never-the-less, it helped you write this poem!
I think you have a nice poem here. I'm pretty sure you know what the answer is...have I?
Keep pushin' the pen from what comes within.
Frank
124
124
Rated: E | (4.0)
Jennifer,
First of all, don't be too rough on yourself. Things take time. Rewrite your portfolio please. ok?
Alright, 1st poem in my opinion just needs a little polishing up, perhaps make a couplet. 2 lines with a space in between the next 2 lines. Always cap. the first letter of each word in title.
2nd poem I would leave it like it is for now. See what others think. Take care and good luck.
Keep pushin' the pen from what comes within Frank
125
125
Review of Wheel of Love  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Terrrific! Wouldn't change a thing Kat. This is very fluid, while telling a wonderful little story that everyone needs to take to heart. Great write!
Keep pushin' the pen from what comes within.
Frank aka Thaddeus Buxton Winthrop
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