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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/gungunwarrior/sort_by/r.review_creation_time+DESC/sort_by_last/r.review_creation_time+DESC/page/3
Review Requests: OFF
459 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to give a fair honest review on anything. I believe in giving every review a custom review and not a cookie cutter. I will point out all the mistakes as well as offer or show help to fix it.
I'm good at...
In depth reviews. I check flow, some grammar if it pulls the reader out of the story. I also check consistency, characters are they real, believable, or fake. I check your plot, theme, and look for flaws. I enjoy both tell and show having grown up reading tell all my life. I will help with ideas on what could make the story or chapter better.
Favorite Genres
I love comedy, sci-fi, fantasy, mysteries, and horror.
Least Favorite Genres
poetry
Favorite Item Types
Short stories
Least Favorite Item Types
poetry
I will not review...
Bad poetry because I really don't know enough to help them fix it. Besides I really wouldn't know good poetry from bad. With all the different styles and structures what might not be bad at all. To me would be so rather then stick foot in mouth and chew vigorously. I would tell you the truth and say I suck at poetry and not disappoint one of the great people here on WDC.
Public Reviews
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51
51
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Dear Ben Crawford
I am reviewing your "Unbound Words: Chapter 1 - Kenton the Ne. These are my observations about your work.

"Offering quality helpful reviews in a positive and encouraging manner."


*BulletB* General Comments & Reader Reaction I like your story and I am very interested in reading your book on this story line. Okay I wasn't expecting your opening but it rubbed me the wrong way. It took me a few minutes to figure it out. It doesn't fit the story. Here allow me to explain. Your damning something to the Christian god's version of hell. You know the fire and brimstone one. In this reality you created Christianity doesn't fit. Now if you changed out the word hell for the "Seven Dungeons of Acass" or some made up name it would fit your world. Other then that you did well. There were one or two other spots that were trying to draw me out of the story. You did such a great job of reader draw that I cannot find them now. Nicely done. To me you sparked my interest in the first sentence baring the wrong god. It kept me glued to the story until the end. You built up a lot of reader interest so the cliffhanger at the end isn't needed, but still I was expecting one. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Plot & Pace Now with books I don't start looking for plot until after the first three chapters. I saw several mysteries that might work into the main plot but only time will tell. The pace was great it flowed and then it ended. Dang it now I have to wait for the second chapter. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Characters You are doing great with character build up but my main burning question is why when the blew up his jacket we could finally see his grey pants? Didn't they stick out already? Now the shirt and tie I could picture that.(Blyth) Now my next point is why did we need to know this? It's like a ladies purse we all know what is in a ladies purse so we don't need an info dump on the contents. What we need is things that advance the plot. Like the lady needed to go to L.A. So she had two plane tickets to L.A. in it. Remember also you have a whole book to do detailed character descriptions one little quirk at a time. For the most part you did an excellent job of introducing the reader to your main and supporting crew. You made all of them very interesting. That alone is part of the draw you have put into your writing to get us to turn the page on to the next chapter. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Setting & Imagery I enjoyed your carriage scene it was very believable. the school is going to be quite the challenge for transitioning. May I suggest you take on a grand tour of only those places your going to be using so we can map it out in out minds then when you want to move to the physics class room. You just say going to physics and me and the reader will know where and what it looks like. This will save a lot of time and word usage. Then you don't spend a lot time over scenes each time you change your action scenes. your really trying to build up in the readers mind the image of your school which is fine and your doing it in a way that is not an info dump. My only question is why such detail if it has nothing to do with the plot? I will give you this it does add to the reader attraction as to why such detail at the start are they going to blow it up or what? *CheckB*

*BulletB* Themes Right now the theme I see is the new head master is taking pride in his Hob and the school he is willing to do what it takes to make it all work. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Emotion, Mood & Atmosphere I see the fear of meeting new people as their leader and getting things done. You are running a mood and atmosphere of mystery which is really well done I enjoyed it in this first chapter. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Structure & Consistency Your story structure is consistent as are your cast of characters. Your doing a great Job of writing it. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Writing Style & Grammar

He knew this trip had been even rougher these men then it was for him, but all these bumps are making it hard to work. You are missing a word between these words it give an unclear sentence. I was so engrossed in the story when I read it the first time that I automatically fill it in for you and continued on with the story. Now I suggest either 'for' or 'on' to place between 'rougher these.' *CheckB*

*BulletB* Favorite Lines If you are wise you will not trust a word I say because I am yet unknown to you. If you continue to read this letter then you are either more trusting than I expected or more curious. The reason I like this is: One your adding more mystery now the reader is trying to figure out who sent it. Second the reader can't help but play along. I was thinking it was either Blyth or Torin. Personally I favor Torin more as it falls in his character you have described so far. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Overall Impression & Conclusion: I really like what your doing here. I loved your main character's bath and what great introduction to his style of magic. I really like the story line and I like your style of writing. There are two things I would like to suggest you change. First off to a contest judge, publisher, or agent looking for new clients. You only get two chances to grab their attention. Your title and your description. Remember the way to determine plot for a short story? You read the title, then the description, then the story to see how confused you get. The same is true for a book, novel or novella. What I recommend is the title is fine just drop the chapter one part. Next Make your description a hook, your title already is. Now in the text body right before you start you story put the chapter 1 part. Now if you have notes to reviewers or such stick them above the title. When or if you ever get an upgraded account I'll show you how to do a book entry and keep each chapter separate. But for now change the title and do your best hook for the description for the whole book. We don't need a chapter description. *CheckB*

*Exclaim* Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your book *Exclaim* Whatever another person says -- especially me *Exclaim* -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion *Exclaim* You are the only one who can decide what is right for your Book. *Exclaim*

Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy reading this chapter. Please keep on writing more things just like this!

You have been reviewed by a proud Dragon member of the Paper Doll, Dawgs, and Dragon Gang.






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
52
52
Review of Tangled Web  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
"Gasp!" You are being reviewed!

Dear 🌓 HuntersMoon
I am reviewing your "Tangled Web as a "PDG Rockin' Dragon Review." These are my observations about your work, and you should take what you find useful and disregard the rest.

"Offering quality, helpful reviews in a positive and encouraging manner."


*BulletB* General Impressions Ken do you know how hard it is to do a 1500 character review on a five star? Well here goes. First off You did a great job on this. It really was a great read it has the publishable feel to it as well. It grabbed my interest and didn't let me go until the end. It flowed and I didn't see anything that dropped the reader out of your imagery. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Favorite Parts "Hold on," Jerry said. "That's against protocol. It could be you're walking into a trap." I like this part as it lets the reader know the captain is going to do something stupid. The best part of all is I bet that thing chokes and dies from eating said stupid captain. After all we are alien to that planet as well. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Plot Finding out the hard way why protocols are created. Actually it is show us man on a new unexplored world. Still a good plot. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Characters Ah, loved the love birds it actually distracted the reader from the point you didn't give much of description of them. But who cares you built up the needed elements to make it believable and also just enough for the support characters. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Setting You used your setting to set us up for the plot ending this was very nicely done. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Dialog You made excellent use of your dialog to both advance the story, set us up for the ending action build the suspense, and advance the plot forward. Very nicely done. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Presentation Presentation has two parts. The first part is how well does the author present the text body to the reader? You did this well you kept your paragraphs small used good line spacing and it looks like a pro wrote it. The second part is how well does the author present his subject to the reader? You kept it simple and easy to read your word choices also made it interesting to the end, great job Ken. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation
I pried and tried.
I looked far and wide.
Alas, no bad grammar,
Could this Grammar Nazi find! (Please excuse my poor attempt at humor, but it is true!) *CheckB*

*Exclaim* Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your story *Exclaim* Whatever another person says -- especially me *Exclaim* -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion *Exclaim* You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story. *Exclaim*

Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing more things just like this!

You have received a Dragon review from the Paper Dragon Gang.


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
53
53
Review of The Disappearance  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
"Gasp!" You are being reviewed!

Dear Lynda Miller
I am reviewing your "The Disappearance as a "PDG Rockin' Dragon Review." These are my observations about your work, and you should take what you find useful and disregard the rest.

"Offering quality, helpful reviews in a positive and encouraging manner."


*BulletB* General Impressions Since this a book I'm using my P.E.N.C.I.L. form to review it. Now I write novels so lets get down to business. You story line so far is interesting. If I may be allowed to make a suggestion is create a book in your port and put each chapter in as separate entry. That way you can see the individual chapter reviews. The other advantage to it is it makes editing and rewriting a chapter a lot easier. I normally use a static sheet for my character sheets, list of names, Time line, and writing notes with back story. The other suggestion is keep your paragraphs short especially for young readers. If you tire their eyes they stop reading. The other thing that is missing is reader appeal. In other words what is it in your story that keeps the reader turning pages. You also need to end each chapter with a cliffhanger. Remember you want to draw them in every chapter then supply them with motivation to read the next chapter (the cliffhanger.) *CheckB*

*BulletB* Favorite Parts Em snorted as she shoved his box into the last empty space and shut the trunk. "Mom wants to be at Nana's house before the moving truck gets there. Would you tell her we are finished." I liked this part because it makes your character more believable. You do your characters well. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Plot In a novel you normally don't see the plot start in the first three chapters. The reason is your filling in needed background and setting up your scenes and imagery, introducing the reader to your characters and foreshadowing of things to come. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Characters Your doing fine with your characters except mom and dad but you still have the rest of the novel to fill in on them. Most reviewers forget this fact. Your doing great but I wonder is Nana's ghost going to play more of a role in the story? If she is then ignore my next set of comments. I think you over developed Nana if your only going to use her as the reason to get Em to her house and why Em likes here *CheckB*

*BulletB* Setting One trick I found useful was if your going to use Nana's house give the reader a walk through of all the rooms you will be using then you just need to tell the reader what room your going to and that is all the transitioning you need to do the same for your forest scenes and imagery. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Conflict The start of the conflict is when Em found her parents missing. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Theme So far in the first two chapters it is all about fairies. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Pace and Writing Style Your pace is great until we hit the large paragraphs then it slows down. Your writing style is fine, You do build some interest but not the kind you can get that they will stay up late at night until the book is finished. I know you hear this a lot from the reviewers on the site but you really do need more show in your chapters again this is a great reader draw. Example: As Em entered the house it had a different smell to and an empty feeling. Em moved further into the hallway and the acidic smell of a griddle being baked with no food on it drew her to the kitchen. There she found the stove on, the fresh smell of pancake batter, the griddle turning black, and no mom. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Dialog You really use dialog well in your chapters. This is where I keep getting the interest to continue reading from. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Presentation You past in both parts of presentation a great job of writing. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation
I pried and tried.
I looked far and wide.
Alas, no bad grammar,
Could this Grammar Nazi find! (Please excuse my poor attempt at humor, but it is true!) *CheckB*

*Exclaim* Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your story *Exclaim* Whatever another person says -- especially me *Exclaim* -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion *Exclaim* You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story. *Exclaim*

Thanks for sharing this novel! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this chapter of your novel. Please keep on writing more chapters just like these!

You have received a Dragon review from the Paper Dragon Gang.


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
54
54
Review of The Last Request  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
"Gasp!" You are being reviewed! Dear Lynda Miller ,

I am reviewing your "The Last Request. These are my observations about your work.


"Offering quality helpful reviews in a positive and encouraging manner."


*BulletB* General Impressions I enjoyed the way you started the story out making us believe they had an innocent man the slowly setting us up for the twist in the story. Great job on that. I enjoy short stories with a twist. I found your writing great reading and you really set up you story well. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Favorite Parts "Well, I have thought of many things. I have looked at my life and felt, although it was not perfect, I was not a bad man. I live for God and read my Bible everyday." And this part. He could feel the power coming back. Satan would not let him down. I enjoyed the contrast in this guy first he is god fearing and next he is counting on Satan. I guess he has reason to really fear god. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Plot As you know with short stories we read the title and the description then read the story to see how confused we get. To be honest a contest judge told me you two chances to attract your reader or publisher. The title and the description. You want to make them both hooks. The title was fine I felt the description needs work it is just a repeat. But the plot is to show the last request of a twisted soul. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Characters For your limited word count you did a great job of making the characters believable to me. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Setting You set you scene up just right. We all have seen prisons and cell blocks etc... With out a lot of time spent on the scene you allowed us to see the story unfold and we drew our own pictures of the prison and death's row. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Climax "Son, you have two decisions to make - your last request and what you have decided as your punishment," the Doctor replied. This was the climax of the story that you had been building up to all along. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Dialog You used your dialog well to advance the plot and keep the story moving. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Presentation Presentation has two parts. The first part is how well did the author present the text body to the reader? You did an excellent job with this. The second part is how well did the author present the subject matter to the reader. You did great with your word choices and with the usage of dialog as well. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation
I pried and tried.
I looked far and wide.
Alas, no bad grammar,
Could this Grammar Nazi find! (Please excuse my poor attempt at humor, but it is true!) *CheckB*

*Exclaim* Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your story *Exclaim* Whatever another person says -- especially me *Exclaim* -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion *Exclaim* You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story.
*Exclaim*

Thanks for sharing this story! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing more stories just like this!

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
55
55
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi there drifter ! "Gasp!" We are here to welcome you to Blog City! Today I am reviewing "Back to the drawing board for your blog
 
BOOK
Wondering about my Wanderings  (E)
I will share the many thoughts that invade my introspective soul.
#1944628 by drifter


*BulletB* General Impressions Thank you for sharing of yourself. Being a male myself, I like to fix things. So the first thing that popped into my head was let your wife read this. But then, since this is more or less a private journal, maybe not a good idea. I found your three years younger than I am. I was born in 1952. So we do have a little in common besides the grammar garden I think I did terrible on it as well lol. But I did enjoy reading your blogs since they deal in personal thoughts, feelings, and emotions it is hard to rate a person anything, but 5 stars. After all, we are Gods children and he didn't create failures only we do that to ourselves. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Favorite Entries My favorite entry is "Back to the drawing board. The reason I like it is I too get those days you look up into the sky and go why me lord what did I ever do to deserve this? Then that clam gentle answer comes. This life is a test and you are being tested my son. Remember, you signed up for this now get busy and show me your solutions. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Theme or Over all Feeling I feel that this is your personal journal and that this is where you put your thoughts to work on how to resolve life's issues. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Enhancements You use Writing ML to your advantage to emphasize your points and successes. As well as text fonts and bolding. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Activity I notice you really do use your blog. I think that is awesome. Me, I'm a if the moment feels like it kind of blogger I try to do one a week or when the prompts strike my muse then I'll write. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Presentation Presentation has two parts to it. The first part is how well did the author display the text body to the reader? You're using a WDC block format which is correct, but professionals always indent {indent} to save you some problems. I'm not judging just pointing out that's all. The second part is how well does the author display the subject. You do a great job of this. The only thing I found is some miss spelling and some wrong word choices. Hey, we all do this try having a dyslexic keyboard. How i got around this is a free program called Ginger from http://www.ginger.com and another free program Hemingway at http://www.hemingwayapp.com. I cheat why not the goal is write like a professional. They use these tools why can't we? *CheckB*

*BulletB* Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation Yes I found a few mistakes. But they didn't distract from what you were saying. Even though I am a Grammar Nazi I still don't worry about it in a blog. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Summery I enjoyed meeting you. I understand you more as a person and see we both share a few things in common. I understand your worries and frustrations. But personally I would hint at a law suit if they dock my wages if they have not properly trained me in the use of their program. That generally tends to stop that nonsense because in the fair wage law they cannot doc you anything unless you physically damage company property. You should read the law, then point this out to them. lol They just might have to rethink their rules a bit. Sorry Mr fix-it in action again. Anyway good luck with your job. *CheckB*

*Exclaim* Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your blog *Exclaim* Whatever another person says -- especially me *Exclaim* -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion *Exclaim* You are the only one who can decide what is right for your blog. *Exclaim*

Thanks for sharing your Blog! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy reading your blogs. Please keep on writing more blog entries just like this one!

This is a review from The Blog City Welcoming Committee

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
56
56
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi there Fivesixer ! "Gasp!" We are here to welcome you to Blog City! Today I am reviewing "T1'sA pills, music and humor (in condescending order). for you blog
BOOK
Who do I still think I am??  (18+)
A third attempt at this blogging business.
#1939270 by Fivesixer


*BulletB* General Impressions I like your take on things. Along with all the fun and great sense of humor you share with the world. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Favorite Entries I like the June 24th 2014 entry as well several others below it. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Theme or Over all Feeling Your title says it all. I enjoy the way you organize your single post to encompas all the blogging organizations you are active in. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Enhancements You really make use of a lot of resources to prove your points and your love of music. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Activity From the looks of you have been blogging for quite a while which is good. I finally figured out your handle. I think it is awesome you won blog of year award from Quills. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Presentation You are doing one awesome job using music, Youtube, and other sites to support your cause or provide more comic relief. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation It is my honor to report nothing is out of place and everything reads smooth. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Summery I can see why you won the award you really earned great job with the blog. I hope to see a lot more of you in the blogs. *CheckB*

*Exclaim* Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your blog *Exclaim* Whatever another person says -- especially me *Exclaim* -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion *Exclaim* You are the only one who can decide what is right for your blog. *Exclaim*

Thanks for sharing your blog entry! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy reading this blog. Please keep on writing more blog entries just like this!

This is a review from The Blog City Welcoming Committee

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
57
57
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
"Gasp!" You are being reviewed!

Welcome to WDC or Writing Dot Com. I hope you are enjoying your stay here. As you look around you will find some of the nicest, friendly people always willing to help. If I can help you in anyway, please feel free to ask me any time.

Dear Evram Spoken
I am reviewing your "Out of the basement and into the garden as a "PDG Rockin' Dragon Review." These are my observations about your work, and you should take what you find useful and disregard the rest.

"Offering quality, helpful reviews in a positive and encouraging manner."


*BulletB* General Impressions I noticed a lot of three stars on this piece. You know I normally review book chapters and then the whole book for Pencil. I do in depth reviews after reading this three or four times I still don't see any reason to rate it a three stars. It really is well written I didn't find any grammar issues. Your punctuation may be at fault but I'm not that great at seeing them. To me if it reads great and the commas help it flow I'm not about to say a word about their use. The same with run-on. I know you are trying out for my title with one or two sentences. The problem is yes they are run-on but it adds to the word flow when you read this story it goes fast smooth and doesn't distract the reader. What more could you want. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Favorite Parts Within minutes of opening the sack all seven of them had turned a horrible mixture of black and brown before shriveling into what looked like nothing more but clumps of hard dirt. C:borange} The reason I picked this part is it sets us up for the twist in the ending. [/c} *CheckB*

*BulletB* Plot Now for short stories we compare the title and the description and then read the story to see how confused we get. I wasn't confused at all you did a great job with your title and your description. The story matches it even with the twist great job. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Characters there was two the old man and the narrator we really never got to meet either one in short story flash fiction with a 300 word limit that is to be expected. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Setting The setting were just fine you gave the reader just enough to make their own visualizations. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Conflict The opening of their pod. This was done well. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Theme The finding of strange things. since is more for books and larger works don't worry about it. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Climax Planting the garden. Very nice build up to this point in the story. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Dialog Since it was all third person voice it was all dialog and you did tell the story well. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Presentation Presentation has two parts. Part one how well did the author preset his text body to the reader? You did great in a really set of test they would get you for double spacing. Since it is only three paragraphs who cares. The point is the line spacing is there. In a professional publication it would have been single spaced and indented on each new paragraph. Most new people here don't know that {{indent} will fix you right up. You only type it in once then cut and paste for the rest. The second part of presentation is how well did you present your subject matter to the reader? I felt you did a great job with your word choices and comma placement. After all, it did read very well and was easy to read. The descriptions didn't really bog down the reader. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation I suppose I could point out your trying for my crown but I don't really feel like it. I mostly go by what I read. The way the story reads, its pace, and your descriptions. Your not doing information dumps in there, nor are you baulking the reader. You may bulk a lot of reviewers however. You can get opinions on everything now days even comma placement. Since I'm not qualified to express an opinion I'll leave it to others. From the reader stand point one or two sentences were a bit long but your story was so interesting who cares. Anyway if you really want help busting up those run-ons. I would suggest The New Horizons WDC Academy. Once you start getting around join the Newbie Academy they offer to pay your way into those classes that are offered. They really do help. The only other suggestion is to start reviewing if you want to learn more just e-mail me back. *CheckB*

*Exclaim* Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your story *Exclaim* Whatever another person says -- especially me *Exclaim* -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion *Exclaim* You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story. *Exclaim*

Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing more things just like this!

You have received a Dragon review from the Paper Dragon Gang.


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
58
58
Review of The Need  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
"Gasp!" You are being reviewed!

Welcome to WDC or Writing Dot Com. I hope you are enjoying your stay here. As you look around you will find some of the nicest, friendly people, always willing to help. If I can help you in anyway, please feel free to ask me any time.

Dear Candy praying 4 Adrie ,
I am reviewing your "The Need as a "PDG Rockin' Dragon Review." These are my observations about your work, and you should take what you find useful and disregard the rest.

"Offering quality, helpful reviews in a positive and encouraging manner."


*BulletB* General Impressions Thank you for asking I would be honored to help you out. I read this a few times. I don't have a form for this type of writing, but I am modifying my short story form to give you a decent review. Here is what I think as a reader. It reads well. You don't have any noticeable errors in it. It flows and keeps reader attention. It does tell me about you that your one of the few that wonder who we are, where did we come from, and why are we here? I found my answers I don't force people to my views. Unless you ask I generally keep my religious views to myself. Sometimes life is a journey, and as Gandolf says, "It's what you do with it that matters."*CheckB*

*BulletB* Favorite Parts These questions made me feel empty-handed. Why can't I answer any of these questions when these are all about the life of a human being? Am I not a human being? What happened to me? The reason I like this part is your being honest about your feelings and why your taking your journey. The writing is good it flows well. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Dialog Your using first person voice. To tell your reasons your doing what your doing with your life. Your are doing it well without any errors. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Presentation Presentation has two parts which apply to any writing. Part one is How well does the author present the body of text to the reader? WDC uses the Block style and since this is an essay they do use indents professionally on the start of each paragraph. How ever I don't think this needs it. It looks great with correct line spacing and you keep your paragraphs shot. Very nicely done. The second part is how well does the author present the subject to the reader? You did a great job here very good word smithing. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation There was no real errors per say except in the very last line. you used "..." four times To my old English it means "and etcetera." From Google Search and from a lot of the authors here on WDC the correct way is to use dashes two of them. The dashes mean a sentence break or fade out or partial. The three periods can also mean "and." That would be a bit clunky with four ands in there. I hope this helps you out. *CheckB*

*Exclaim* Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your story *Exclaim* Whatever another person says -- especially me *Exclaim* -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion *Exclaim* You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story. *Exclaim*

Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing more things just like this!

You have received a Dragon review from the Paper Dragon Gang.


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
59
59
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi there SwordntheStone22 ! "Gasp!" You are being reviewed by a mentee! I am reviewing
 WSD-Chapter 1 Revised  (13+)
A revision of the first chapter of Stephen deGaul's adventure to earn his name.
#1992683 by SwordntheStone22


*BulletB* General Impressions Wow you cleaned that up fast. Now that you got rid of those over expressive sentences. It reads really well in fact it really reads pretty fast now great job on the editing. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Favorite Parts I need to ease him into the discussion the way I eased him into buying me a pony. “Mother doesn’t even visit Professor Goodall’s manor.” She dares not give voice to the doubt worming inside. The reason I like this is you introduce us to the main mystery going on about Maria's mother. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Plot With any good book it is hard to figure out the plot. With short stories we use the title and description, then read the story to see how confused we get. I have seen some interesting things like some people add a description of each chapter. The best trick I learned from a contest judge was always keep a clear title based on the theme and the plot of your book. You want it to grab reader attention. Title your chapters again same reason. Next right the best attention drawing, advertisement for your book as the description. Leave the revision notes at the end of your chapters after all they really are for your reference. The reader doesn't give a hoot and judges dock you for it in the title and descriptions. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Characters You are doing a really great job developing your characters. I see no suggestion to help you here at all, just keep on keeping on with your characters. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Setting Some people might tell you they would like to see more about the room in the house. But the truth is you gave me just enough to fill it all in with my own mind. That is part of great writing is drawing the reader in and allowing them to fill in the blanks. Very nicely done. Keep up the great writing. Remember, you can always add more later in other chapters if you feel the need. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Dialog You really excel with the dialog. You're doing a lot of show me with it. No suggestions here either. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Presentation Presentation actually has two parts to it. The first part is the text body presentation. How well does the author display his body of writing to the reader? For the most part you did well. WDC uses a block style format, because most people don't know the Writing ML command {indent}. Just cut and paste to your heart's content or do as I do write it once then copy and paste it. Professional writing uses indents on every new paragraph. Because WDC allows block style I don't use it to mark down a review. This is just for your information. Now I did notice some dialog that needed to start as its own paragraph. I'm used to putting quotes around italics mind speech but that might be considered writing style so again I'm just mentioning it for your consideration. Now the second part of the presentation is how well did the author present the subject. You did a wonderful job here, you really have talent. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation
I pried and tried.
I looked far and wide.
Alas, no bad grammar,
Could this Grammar Nazi find! (Please excuse my poor attempt at humor, but it is true!) *CheckB*

*BulletB* Closing Remarks I want you to know every book has a central theme that you establish and keep generating in every chapter. You had several with Grandfather's stories the pervading theme in this chapter was the love between Grandfather and Maria. My next point is always to end your chapter with a cliffhanger the mystery by itself isn't enough to keep the reader turning pages it does help but it's not that strong a pull. Now if you had Grandfather start another story and stop your chapter at the confrontation of the story that will make sure the reader will keep turning the pages. *CheckB*

*Exclaim* Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your story *Exclaim* Whatever another person says -- especially me *Exclaim* -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion *Exclaim* You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story. *Exclaim*

Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing more things just like this!!!

This is a review from "The Newbies Academy Group!

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Review of The Phoenix  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
"Gasp!" You are being reviewed!

Welcome to WDC or Writing Dot Com. I hope you are enjoying your stay here. As you look around you will find some of the nicest, friendly people always willing to help. If I can help you in any way, please feel free to ask me any time.

Dear TJ Marie
I am reviewing your "The Phoenix as a "PDG Rockin' Dragon Review." These are my observations about your work, and you should take what you find useful and disregard the rest.

"Offering quality, helpful reviews in a positive and encouraging manner."


*BulletB* General Impressions Wow, what a great entry to the contest looks like I'm stuck judging it. Sorry I was waiting for more entries so I could award the larger prizes and I was caught up in Game of Thrones. But it's over we won 4th place or lost lol. I loved this story it is very different what a great take on it. I am going to do some awarding between today and tomorrow. I might not be able to award the grand prize, but it will not be a let down either this I promise. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Favorite Parts Gina could muster, she looked her grandfather in the eye and said, "Grandfather, what you are doing is wrong. You must stop this. I am your granddaughter, and I just found out today that I have a grandfather. I want you to know, I forgive you for all the bad things you have done. I can feel a small part of you still in there. Please find it in your soul, it is there waiting; it has been waiting for a long time. Do not be afraid; I will be here with you because I love you." I loved this part it sets the reader up for the plot twist. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Plot In short stories, we use the title and the description to get an idea. We read the story to see how confuse we get. I was never confused, but you did throw a curve ball in there. As far as it goes they did match the plot. Great job the title and description attract the reader, which is what you want. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Characters We got to meet Gina and Clayton and the evil Morton. I liked the way you popped in Uncle Boris and Grandfather. Your use of these characters enhanced the story.*CheckB*

*BulletB* Setting You are a little vague on where the story is taking place it was a room and that was all. For the most part it isn't mission critical the story flows on without it. The readers do get really interested in the story. That it isn't going to pull them out and go, "What the heck!" *CheckB*

*BulletB* Conflict The meeting of good old Grandpa. I liked the way you described him as a tip it could have been shown to get an even better effect. What you had wasn't bad. Example: "Gina could smell the burning flames as the scorched the insulation. She could feel the heat as if there was a molten lava pool in the room. You get the idea?" *CheckB*

*BulletB* Theme I found your main theme to be love concurs all. That isn't bad I feel there is no changes need here. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Climax Great job on the climax loved the twist. There is one point you do need to fix and it would add to the story is as soon as grandpa drops out of dragon form, have Clayton kill uncle Boris/Morton. This is just a suggestion has nothing to do with judging of the story.*CheckB*

*BulletB* Dialog You used your dialog well. There were a few places you should of had them as single paragraphs and not mingled in with the text. The dialog itself was great it advanced the story gave out plot points and was great reading. No other suggestions are needed here. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Presentation Presentation has two parts to it. The first part is how well does the author present the text body to the readers? WDC uses the block style instead of indents, but books and other professional documents do use indents on every new paragraph. You did a good job here. The second part is how well did you present your subject to the readers? You did a great job with this part. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation
I pried and tried.
I looked far and wide.
Alas, no bad grammar,
Could this Grammar Nazi find! (Please excuse my poor attempt at humor, but it is true!) *CheckB*

*Exclaim* Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your story *Exclaim* Whatever another person says -- especially me *Exclaim* -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion *Exclaim* You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story. *Exclaim*

Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing more things just like this!

You have received a Dragon review from the Paper Dragon Gang.


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
61
61
Review of Dragon-male  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
"Gasp!" You are being reviewed!

Dear Jimminycritic
I am reviewing your "Dragon-male as aPDG Rockin' Dragon Review." These are my observations about your work, and you should take what you find useful and disregard the rest.

"Offering quality, helpful reviews in a positive and encouraging manner."


*BulletB* General Impressions Wow nice story Jimminy! You did a really good job on it. I think this is your best yet. I was impressed with the concept. I liked how you worked into it all the twist at the end. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Favorite Parts . “Ya know, Ellie Bellie…there was this Deli…” I couldn’t help but notice her tightening muscles in her face bringing up an obviously false smile. “Bellie, me Deli. Get it? Usually, you do”
I like this part because it was pretty funny. I loved how you worked it into the story. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Plot The title and description matched and so did the story. Loved the plot idea for this story. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Characters We the reader never did learn the male's name. Just pointing this out, it isn't an error. We did learn the female's name of Ellie, and of her sister. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Setting This story takes place in a large crater. It has rooms and sections for both humans and dragons. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Conflict The starting conflict is Ellie will eat the narrator. All stories have these and this worked out well This is looking great I recommend no changes. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Theme The regeneration of the human and dragon races. It was a great theme I would say to leave it alone.*CheckB*

*BulletB* Climax When Ellie and the narrator preform the ritual to become the male dragon. I feel this enhanced the story and brought the story out.*CheckB*

*BulletB* Dialog I like the dialog you used it to introduce us to your characters and advance the story. I see no changes here either.*CheckB*

*BulletB* Presentation Presentation has two parts. The first part is how well does the author present his text to the readers? Jimminy you do need to line spacing and break up that last section of text it has three paragraphs in it lol. A little hard on my old eyes. Also a professional work would have indents on the starting paragraphs. But WDC allows the Block style so I didn't count that part against you. Just for your information. Now that brings me to he second part of presentation. How well did the author present his subject to the reader? You did an excellent job. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation
I pried and tried.
I looked far and wide.
Alas, no bad grammar,
Could this Grammar Nazi find! (Please excuse my poor attempt at humor, but it is true!) *CheckB*

*Exclaim* Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your story *Exclaim* Whatever another person says -- especially me *Exclaim* -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion *Exclaim* You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story. *Exclaim*

Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing more things just like this!

You have received a Dragon review from the Paper Dragon Gang.


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
62
62
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (3.0)
"Gasp!" You are being reviewed!

Dear
I am reviewing your {item:} as aPDG Rockin' Dragon Review." These are my observations about your work, and you should take what you find useful and disregard the rest.

"Offering quality helpful reviews in a positive and encouraging manner."


*BulletB* General Impressions We all love dragon stories. I think you have a good start on this. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Favorite Parts A dragon's growl rolls through the valleys and mountains. In these parts it isn't unusual for dragons to roar. But this sound was different from all other; anger, hate and sadness combined in one single scream of despair. The reason I like this is you started out with a good hook for an story introduction. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Plot I assume the plot is to find the dragon and the missing heroes. A lot of plots start out looking the same until you get into the middle or the end lol depends on what twists and subplots you through into them.*CheckB*

*BulletB* Characters We learn about Zarchess a boy and his mother. We really don't learn much about them or why they are important to the story or the plot. I think that you need to know this but remember in a book you have lots of time to fill in the blanks. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Setting You skip all over and you need to transition to your scenes. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Conflict Okay to keep reader attention and to add spice remember short stories all have a beginning a build up to a conflict and a solution and scaling down. Now to build a great book you would scale up your building conflict and end your chapter on the start of it for that cliff hanger so you readers want to go on to the next chapter. Who really likes to read about walks in the park that contain no action no muggings or purse snatching or murder witnessing? You see my point? *CheckB*

*BulletB* Theme To be honest I didn't see a theme here at all yet your not giving us a lot to go on your chapters are too short to really do them justice or the reader any satisfaction. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Climax I'm still looking for it to be honest. Sure I just go grab something but why miss lead you. It needs work you should have a climax for every chapter. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Dialog To be totally honest you should never ever run speech to gather. First reason you totally confuse the reader as to who is talking. Second reason is it is unprofessional if you look at a real published book you never see single quotes except inside a double quote and use them for emphases. The third reason is each part from different people have to start their own paragraph. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Presentation Presentation has two parts. The first part is how well did you present your text body to the reader. A professional novelist uses indents on his paragraphs, line spacing between paragraphs and dialog and starts each dialog as a new paragraph with line spacing between each one. The reason the pros do this is called eye fatigue if the eyes get tired your book does get read. No reader wants to read a huge chunk of unformatted text truth be told. Now the second part of Presentation is how well did you present your subject matter to the reader. Now on this part you did really well. I could understand what was going on in each chapter. I just couldn't tie it all together yet. This doesn't mean it's bad, just means I haven gotten into the story far enough. Your still doing back ground from what I was reading. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation
The winners were send to the to defeat the demon lord. But, none of them returned and the people lost their hopes once again... <--- You only need one period here. The three periods are not a fade out.

This feeling was so strong that he waked up. <--- I believe the correct word is 'woke' up. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Closing Remarks I would be more then happy to work with you on this story, and after you edit it. Come back read it, review it and change my review score anytime. *CheckB*

*Exclaim* Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your story *Exclaim* Whatever another person says -- especially me *Exclaim* -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion *Exclaim* You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story.
*Exclaim*

Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing more things just like this!

You have received a Dragon review from the Paper Dragon Gang.


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
63
63
Review of The Answer  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
"Gasp!" You are being reviewed!

Welcome to WDC or Writing Dot Com. I hope you are enjoying your stay here. As you look around you will find some of the nicest, friendly people always willing to help. If I can help you in anyway please feel free to ask me any time.

Dear Mini Pillow ,
I am reviewing your "The Answer as aPDG Rockin' Dragon Review." These are my observations about your work, and you should take what you find useful and disregard the rest.

"Offering quality helpful reviews in a positive and encouraging manner."


*BulletB* General Impressions I read this story all the way through the first time to get the contents in my mind. the second time now that the fun part was over was to find the errors I missed the first read. Dang this reads smooth still not found anything. Well that does it. Now down to the review. I like this story you tell it well and it does grab the reader and draws them into the story until the end and we are still wanting more.*CheckB*

*BulletB* Favorite Parts The ending of course! I'm not going to give out spoiler alerts everyone else will just have to read it to find out. Now why I liked it. It brings the whole story to focus and it returns to the answer. You bring it all together and give us a surprise for those who are not skimming. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Plot we check plot on a short story by reading the description and comparing it with the title. Next we read the story to see if it matches. I would give you a resounding yes on that one. Your plot is really great and I love the twist at the end. really great job you did on this story. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Characters I liked how you showed us the Main character's name John Brown from a prison guard. and how you introduced us to the pirate Black Jack. You made them live in your story they became people instead of two dee cardboard cut outs. You did a great job with them. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Setting I saw a prison like the ones in "The Man Without a Face" or "The Count D'monty Christo." *CheckB*

*BulletB* Conflict The execution with his head on the block waiting for the executioner's axe. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Theme The over all theme is the plot or title the answer the anticipation, The waiting and most of all the knowing. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Climax Is the third line up from the bottom it pretty much says it all if your not skimming. This is the answer and the climax. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Dialog You don't use it much in here mostly because it is first person dialog what little you did use was effective in show us the prisoner's name time of execution. really well done it truly advanced the story and the plot all at the same time. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Presentation Presentation has two parts. The first part is how well do you present your text body to the reader. At first glance you really had that professional look. However upon reading it I found a few plaves you missed using the {indent} command. Also when your speaking from your mind or thoughts they should be in italics. Now if you transferred from a word doc you would lose this. I do {i} at the start then {/i} at the end of my thoughts. Other than that this really is a five star piece of writing. Now the second part is how well do you present your subject to the reader? You have done an excellent job at capturing interest and keep us in gauged with your story until you end it and you still end it with a cliff hanger making us want more. *CheckB*
*BulletB* Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation
I pried and tried.
I looked far and wide.
Alas no bad grammar,
Could this Grammar Nazi find! (Please excuse my poor attempt at humor but it is true!) *CheckB*

*Exclaim* Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your story *Exclaim* Whatever another person says -- especially me *Exclaim* -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion *Exclaim* You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story. *Exclaim*

Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing more things just like this!

You have received a Dragon review from the Paper Dragon Gang.


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
64
64
Review of It's not about me  
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi there Chasing Worms ! "Gasp!" We are here to welcome you to Blog City! Today I am reviewing "My Life as a Worm for you blog {b-item: Invalid Review }

*BulletB* General Impressions I loved your "My Life as a Worm" entry. There is nothing wrong with your real last name. I'm glad you find it interesting that only means you now stuck as a worm. I hope your a book worm as those are always the best kind. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Favorite Entries I started getting used to my new-old name...W-o-r-m-i-n-g-t-o-n. Worrrm...innng...ton! Wormington! Cool! It had pizzaz, it was different, and it had a great "swing" to it. Worm...ing...ton! As you can see I liked the way you are warming up to your real last name. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Theme or Over all Feeling I feel you theme or over feeling is one of youth and enjoyment of life and it's lessons. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Enhancements I see you make use of different text fonts and some Writing ML to enhance your entries. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Activity I notice your like me. we both blog when we can and that's cool. We are all different and that is the spice of life. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Presentation Now presentation has two parts: The first part is about how you present the entries to us the reader. I noticed your using WDC block style instead of indents that's cool. Your looking good on this part. Next the second part is your word choices you use to tell us your subject matter and present it to us the reader. You do an excellent job on writing about your subject. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation
I pried and tried.
I looked far and wide.
Alas no bad grammar,
Could this Grammar Nazi find! (Please excuse my poor attempt at humor but it is true!) *CheckB*

*BulletB* Summery I am glad you have this out for your feelings and your fears. We all need this type of outlet besides writing entries here does give you practice at writing. *CheckB*

*Exclaim* Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your blog *Exclaim* Whatever another person says -- especially me *Exclaim* -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion *Exclaim* You are the only one who can decide what is right for your blog. *Exclaim*

Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing more things just like this!

This is a review from The Blog City Welcoming Committee

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
65
65
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi there Elfin Dragon - poetry fiend ! "Gasp!" We are here to welcome you to Blog City! Today I am reviewing "Prompt: Magic: Exists or not? for you blog
 
BOOK
Elfin Dragon's Blog  (13+)
Short Stories, Poetry, NaNo, Ideas & Articles about writing.
#1986846 by Elfin Dragon - poetry fiend


*BulletB* General Impressions Like all your work I have read. You do an outstanding job of writing. I have noticed you do try and make each entry interesting and very readable. I noticed you using it as a journal. Great way to write, *CheckB*

*BulletB* Favorite Entries Do we, as writers, not see or seek magic in everything we attempt to scratch out of our pens, pencils, or computer keys? This question struck me hard and your answer is correct. We really do squeeze out the magic and may we never, ever quit using our magic! *CheckB*

*BulletB* Theme or Over all Feeling I got the over feeling of the real writer I know as ElfinDragon. Who's imagination is boundless and grounded in geek hood. Nerds are show offs Geeks get it done and on time! *CheckB*

*BulletB* Enhancements You decorate your journal with lots of pictures and sigs. You do use color to highlight prompts and links. You not over doing it and your blog looks neat and professional. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Activity I see your a write as the prompts catch your interest Blogger. Or when ever the mood hits you. That's cool no is the same since these are more about us then about things in general. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Presentation Presentation consists of two parts: First part is does it look like it is ready to be published? I would say yes it does except it would need indents but WDC follows Block style so don't worry about it. Now the second part is how well did your word choices present your subject to the reader? You always do an excellent job on your writing. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation
I pried and tried.
I looked far and wide.
Alas no bad grammar,
Could this Grammar Nazi find! (Please excuse my poor attempt at humor but it is true!) *CheckB*

*BulletB* Summery In closing it was nice to learn a bit about you and that you are one of the nice ladies on this site. I have a lot of fun exchanging dragon bits with you. I don't really write much poetry so I keep taking classes. It is a terrible handicap in reviewing poetry to not know what your reading or the style it is written in except the basics lol. *CheckB*

*Exclaim* Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your blog *Exclaim* Whatever another person says -- especially me *Exclaim* -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion *Exclaim* You are the only one who can decide what is right for your blog. *Exclaim*

Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing more things just like this!

This is a review from The Blog City Welcoming Committee

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
66
66
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi there COUNTRYMOM-JUST REMEMBER ME ! "Gasp!" We are here to welcome you to Blog City! Today I am reviewing "Beatle Mania for you blog
BOOK
On the Porch with Pat  (18+)
Come sit with me on the porch. We'll sip lemonade and talk. . .
#1799901 by Pat ~ starting a new journey


*BulletB* General Impressions Hi Pat as part of the Welcoming committee I'm hear to snoop around and review a post or two and make absurd comments on what I find maybe tease you or laugh with you on your blogging journey. Looks like SAJ keeps you hopping so no new entries yet. That's ok I'm a Sunday blogger myself *CheckB*

*BulletB* Favorite Entries I missed John Lennon, though, and George Harrison. What an awesome performance that would have been to have all four of the Fab Four back together again! It was a wonderful trip down memory lane, though, and I'm glad I got to experience it. I remember those days well I even saw the same "Ed Sullivan show" myself. It was where I picked up my love for rock and roll music. and that is why I picked this as a favorite line. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Theme or Over all Feeling I get the theme of this is your love of life as you have lived it from your past. As well as the difference between then and now what a difference. I remember when there was no phones and no T.V. as I was growing up. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Enhancements You do use fonts and text styles to enhance your blogs to make them attractive to a reader. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Activity It looks like it has been a while since you wrote in it but I am sure you will continue to share your memories with us when you feel the need for blogging. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Presentation Presentation has two parts: part one is does it look professional since everyone doesn't indent and block style is preferred I don't push people on it. {It's a WDC thing.) The second part is how well you do your word choices to present your subject to the reader. You do an excellent job of this. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation
I pried and tried.
I looked far and wide.
Alas no bad grammar,
Could this Grammar Nazi find! (Please excuse my poor attempt at humor but it is true!) *CheckB*

*BulletB* Summery In closing I am Glad I have the honor of reviewing your blog. I do hope you will be able to do entries it again soon. Looking forward to reading it. *CheckB*

*Exclaim* Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your blog *Exclaim* Whatever another person says -- especially me *Exclaim* -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion *Exclaim* You are the only one who can decide what is right for your blog. *Exclaim*

Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing more things just like this!

This is a review from The Blog City Welcoming Committee

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Get rid of fear  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
"Gasp!" You are being reviewed!

Dear viji
I am reviewing your "Get rid of fear as aPDG Rockin' Review Dragon." These are my observations about your work, and you should take what you find useful and disregard the rest.

"Offering quality helpful reviews in a positive and encouraging manner."


*BulletB* General Impressions You bring up some valid points. Example: "We all have some kind of a mawkish fear in our heart that stops us from being who we are." I know there are times we fear gang retaliation or fear of our government hauling us away because we dare to stand against their propaganda. Some times our fear is real and that is why a lot of us hide in out bars and homes afraid. As you pointed out that is not who we are. Even politicians know that if one person will speak out there are a few hundreds of us feeling the same way. The trick is knowing when to overcome our fear and show the world we will not bow down to its form of terrorism. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Favorite Parts Fear is inevitable but every cloud has a silver lining, we can always overcome fear. Only the rough sea makes a skilled sailor and isn’t failure a stepping stone to success? I like this part because you are right we can over come. By over coming makes us stronger so when we do experience failure we can pick our self up dust our cloths off and step right back into the race. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Conflict I realize this isn't a short story. I left this in for the point you made our fear is our own self conflict. That we have to learn to over come.*CheckB*

*BulletB* Theme Your theme is over coming fear. In our profession the main fear we have to over come is the fear of rejection. Especially on our babies we spent hours of our life working over to share with the world. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Presentation Most authors consider presentation as just how your text looks like on a page. It actually has two parts. Now if your writing for fun or just using the site for storage ignore the rest of this. You need to add line spaces between your paragraphs and indent your paragraphs. You write like a profession, you should show it in your text displays as well. I know Writing ML is a pain some times try {indent} just type it once and copy and paste it in your work. The second part of presentation is how well did you use your wordsmithing to present your topic. This you did really well. It read well other then the eyes do need a rest between paragraphs. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation
I pried and tried.
I looked far and wide.
Alas no bad grammar,
Could this Grammar Nazi find! (Please excuse my poor attempt at humor but it is true!) *CheckB*

*Exclaim* Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your story *Exclaim* Whatever another person says -- especially me *Exclaim* -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion *Exclaim* You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story. *Exclaim*

Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing more things just like this!

You have received a Dragon review from the Paper Dragon Gang.


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there 🛸 Sum1 🗿 ! "Gasp!" We are here to welcome you to Blog City! Today I am reviewing "Sleeping In Seattle for you blog
Where In The World Is Sum1?  (E)
I travel the country on business, sometimes the world. Come see where I've been.
#1779685 by 🛸 Sum1 🗿


*BulletB* General Impressions You know I find it interesting that you work for Motorola. I have worked for them on and off doing call center technical work. My son owns his own call center selling and supporting their 3d movie projectors. Anyway I find your love of life as well as travel interesting. I have seen you around on WDC a lot I think I have reviewed you or you reviewed me lol. I picture you as a very nice guy who loves to travel. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Favorite Entries I had a good time there, as I always do. On Friday I went to the Boeing Museum of Flight once class was done. I am using this to point out what I was saying earlier. When I traveled with an oilfield company running their nuclear densiometer. I had got to do the same thing. It was fun I really enjoyed driving all over the USA.*CheckB*

*BulletB* Theme or Over all Feeling The theme is that of traveling and fun. I have always loved being paid to play. To you it is traveling and exploring. To me it is computers and exploring strange new worlds never seen by man. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Enhancements I noticed you used images in some of your blog entries. I liked the images, I like the fact you did that it made your blog more interesting. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Activity I notice your blog does show a lot of activity even if you don't post everyday. You do post often enough to keep it active and entertaining. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Presentation Presentation has two parts most authors only think of the one how does the entry look. I found your sticking to WDC standard that of block letter style no indents. The rest is great. The second part is how well do you present your subject with your word choices. You do a great job in telling us. The truth is why not show us take that extra step to show us the weather, the dust, "Achoo! Oops pardon me." You know the little details that bring you scene to life. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation
I pried and tried.
I looked far and wide.
Alas no bad grammar,
Could this Grammar Nazi find! (Please excuse my poor attempt at humor but it is true!) *CheckB*

*BulletB* Summery You do write really well. In travel logs they can get boring seeing the same thing over and over. If you make us live your excitement and your joy in the places you visit it is no longer just a neat spot you did a quick visit to. It is part of your passion for life and we can share with your fun and why you have a lot of fun doing what you do. I understand you will not share your job and that's cool. But the rest is not top secret lol. *CheckB*

*Exclaim* Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your blog *Exclaim* Whatever another person says -- especially me *Exclaim* -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion *Exclaim* You are the only one who can decide what is right for your blog. *Exclaim*

Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing more things just like this!

This is a review from The Blog City Welcoming Committee

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of What's Behind Me?  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
"Gasp!" You are being reviewed by a newbie! Dear BIG BAD WOLF Is Hoping ,

I am reviewing your "What's Behind Me? story as a part of your shower at "Invalid Item. These are my observations about your work.


"Offering quality helpful reviews in a positive and encouraging manner."


*BulletB* General Impressions You know not everyone can write a spoof and make believable. I enjoyed your take on the things that go bump in the night. Especially the way you were poking fun at the big bad football team captain and how the nerds got things done. I wonder how many of the reviewers pick up on that. Then the girl scout cookie orders great job on that. I found it to be very amusing and enjoyable. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Favorite Parts He felt something poke him in the ribs. “Mom says you have to come home now- you need to clean your room.” He turned around, and looked down, and his eyes bulged. There was a cute little eight year old girl wearing a Brownie Scout uniform, looking up at him. He made a high pitched scream, and took off running, still screaming. As I was looking at this it dawned on me who Sandy was the girl Will Smith shot in Men in Black. The part I loved the best is the part here about the cowardly quarterback. You really did a number on him portraying him as the exact opposite of all the horror movies and stories do. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Plot The plot I found since you really had so much going on was to show scary monsters in a friendly light and the big bad Heman as a worthless wimp. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Characters You had so many that was what made this story so funny and intertaining. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Setting The setting was in a spooky forest. You actually allowed us to use our own imagery on it, along with the rest of what was going on. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Conflict The major conflict was at the tree where the girl friend was stuck in the tree. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Theme That monsters were good and the rest were in question. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Climax To me the climax was the the cookie sale. I still found that so funny here everyone is buying cookies of all things it was pretty funny to me. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Dialog I loved how you used the dialog to tell most of the story and give those great one liners. Example: “You know, if he applied for Field and Track, he’d get Long Distance Runner for sure,” Hank said, as he took a cloth from his pocket, and proceeded to wipe his axe blade. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Presentation You know presentation has two parts. Part one is the spacing an indents use in professional work. Part two is how you used your words to present your story to us. Other then indents your physical presentation was fine. You did an excellent job on the imagery and word choices you used as well as a lot of the hidden things you made fun of as well.*CheckB*

*BulletB* Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation
Mark was driving a 1959 Cheverly <--- I actually Googled the word Cheverly it's not a car by the way it's a town. I believe the correct spelling is Chevrolet or Chevy or even Chevelle would work for your story. *CheckB*

*Exclaim* Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your story *Exclaim* Whatever another person says -- especially me *Exclaim* -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion *Exclaim* You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story. *Exclaim*

Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing more things just like this!

This review is part of your *Waterdrop*shower*Waterdrop* from *UmbrellaB**RainbowL*Showering Acts of Joy*RainbowR**UmbrellaB*.


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Astromail  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
"Gasp!" You are being reviewed by a newbie! Dear Elle ,

I am reviewing your "Astromail story as a part of your shower at "Invalid Item. These are my observations about your work.


"Offering quality helpful reviews in a positive and encouraging manner."


*BulletB* General Impressions Pretty funny elle I'm glad you wrote it. Your right males do look at body functions differently then most females do. I gathered you must have observed dad and the boys in a male bonding session. Anyway I enjoyed your story with that wonderful twist at the end. I liked how you used your characters well to put forth your story. and the e-mail to tell the the twist in your plot. I bet you chuckled and laughed as you finished up this section of the story. I know you had me thinking this guy was going to go immerse himself in his memories of his wife. When you out and out surprised me with the ending. I know us males really enjoy that kind of humor especially with other males *CheckB*

*BulletB* Favorite Parts Dear Katherine,
As I look out the window, I can see the most beautiful sunset. It's the twelfth one today. Each one reminds me of you and that amazing week in Fiji. I have always wondered if females think of us men in the way we think of them. Probably one of those things that women like to keep a secret to add to their mystery. I liked this part because it reminded me of the great moments me and my wife have made together as a couple. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Plot The plot was to build up to the twist at the end. I feel you did this very well. Sure had me going I noticed some familiar names in this story as well. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Characters I like Mark, Patrick, Sparky, and Fatboy. I liked how you used Mark to tell the story with. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Setting You built your scene on a space station orbiting the earth. You did a wonderful job in keeping it consistent. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Conflict The part where Patrick finds Mark reading his letter and getting emotional. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Theme Men and their preoccupation with bodily functions. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Climax Is the part where Mark tell Katherine about what happened at the last poker meeting. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Dialog You used it well to show how males like to keep their emotions private. After all it is a male thing we are taught from birth to death. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Presentation Other than indents it looked great. The second part was well done, your keeping to your great standard of crafting your words well. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation
I pried and tried.
I looked far and wide.
Alas no bad grammar,
Could this Grammar Nazi find! (Please excuse my poor attempt at humor but it is true!) *CheckB*

*Exclaim* Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your story *Exclaim* Whatever another person says -- especially me *Exclaim* -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion *Exclaim* You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story. *Exclaim*

Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing more things just like this!

This review is part of your *Waterdrop*shower*Waterdrop* from *UmbrellaB**RainbowL*Showering Acts of Joy*RainbowR**UmbrellaB*.


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
"Gasp!" You are being reviewed by a newbie! Dear Elle ,

I am reviewing your "Not One More Acre! story as a part of your shower at "Invalid Item. These are my observations about your work.


"Offering quality helpful reviews in a positive and encouraging manner."


*BulletB* General Impressions Wow Elle nice job on this story. I felt as if I was a part of something historical a million miles away or so it seemed. You did a really good job on this article. It was a great read. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Favorite Parts Not one more acre became a vow I made silently to these people as I sat shoulder-to-shoulder with them on that hard wooden floor. Not one more acre of Maori land. Not one more acre.
I felt what these people felt this was their land their ancestral home and they had owned it first before any government or wars. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Plot To write a story about being there in that historical march and tell it from a follower's point of view of the great lady leading the march. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Characters Whina Cooper and our fictional character that you never named I'm thinking if that character had a name it would be Elle. I think you did a great job bring these characters to life. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Setting The initial setting was Te Hapua a town in New Zealand at the far end of the island. This was the start of the march the next setting was a small town or village along the way. The the final town of Wellington. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Conflict The emotional conflict of not understanding why they were upset of the land grabbing. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Theme The way people were upset with the government. Oh yes outrage is the theme. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Climax When they arrived at Wellington was the climax to the story. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Dialog You used the chant to keep your theme of outrage alive all though the story. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Presentation I kind of felt you just dumped this story into your port and forgot about it. No indents and large blocks of text. Now most of us think presentation is just the physical part that I mentioned earlier but presentation also has a second part that how well did you present this story to me the reader with your word choices. Now this part was done by a professional writer in her prime giving us her best! *CheckB*

*BulletB* Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation You know being an American I felt that in your description: A fictional portrayal of 80yo Whina Cooper's historic 1975 land march. I had to ask myself is Elle rapping in here with 80 YO! Then I thought well maybe NZ do yo instead of yr. Since I'm not really sure either way it doesn't look good in your description I think if you just spell it out it would enhance your description better. Now the light bulb goes on does yo mean 80 years old? No wonder the world thinks Americans are dumb. Oh well It still doesn't look right in your description. But I'm not counting it as an error so your cool. I was just telling you it looked funny is all.*CheckB*

*Exclaim* Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your story *Exclaim* Whatever another person says -- especially me *Exclaim* -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion *Exclaim* You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story. *Exclaim*

Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing more things just like this!

This review is part of your *Waterdrop*shower*Waterdrop* from *UmbrellaB**RainbowL*Showering Acts of Joy*RainbowR**UmbrellaB*.


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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72
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
"Gasp!" You are being reviewed by a newbie! Dear Jeff ,

I am reviewing your "The Ex-Girlfriends Club story as a part of your shower at "Invalid Item. These are my observations about your work.


"Offering quality helpful reviews in a positive and encouraging manner."


*BulletB* General Impressions At first I had a hard time seeing where you were going with this story once I got to the end it all made sense and it was pretty funny. I loved the conditions to belong to the club those alone was pretty funny. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Favorite Parts
"Rolled over her foot on my motorcycle... and clipped her ankle with the kickstand." I'm used to the big bikes like Harley, Honda Golden Wings, and Kawasaki triple 900. Now picture our klutz stepping off a scooter clipping her ankle trying to stop it from really hurting her. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Plot I believe the plot was to tell all the injeries of the ex-girlfriends and lead into him finding love at last. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Characters I believe you used your self as the main character and Lara as the other main. The rest of them were sub chars used to enhance the humor of it. You did a great job of making the characters live and have feelings.*CheckB*

*BulletB* Setting In a restaurant with a man and woman having dinner. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Conflict The tale of the ex-girlfriends club requirements. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Theme Was the humor of dating a klutz. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Climax This was when Lara showed him her scars on her shoulder. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Dialog You made great use of dialog to both advance the story and the plot. Example: "My ex-girlfriends," I explained, "Created this club, of sorts. Apparently, there are only two criteria for membership. First, you have to have dated me... and second, you have to be scarred in some way." *CheckB*

*BulletB* Presentation Presentation has a two parts the first part is does it look like a publisher could pull it and print it as is? Other then indents I believe they could. The second part is does the text and word choices present the subject correctly? I believe you did an excellent job there in telling your story. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation
I pried and tried.
I looked far and wide.
Alas no bad grammar,
Could this Grammar Nazi find! (Please excuse my poor attempt at humor but it is true!) *CheckB*

*Exclaim* Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your story *Exclaim* Whatever another person says -- especially me *Exclaim* -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion *Exclaim* You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story. *Exclaim*

Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing more things just like this!

This review is part of your *Waterdrop*shower*Waterdrop* from *UmbrellaB**RainbowL*Showering Acts of Joy*RainbowR**UmbrellaB*.


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
73
73
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi there Brian Reviews ! "Gasp!" We are here to welcome you to Blog City! Today I am reviewing "Cathartic Upheaval for you blog
BOOK
Black Hole Super Nova Afterglow  (13+)
Blog just doubled in size. Full on Super Nova. Stay tuned for a full black hole.
#1300042 by Brian Reviews


*BulletB* General Impressions As I viewed your blog I saw many diverse items Some music, poetry, Rants, inner reflections, and most important of all a person of interest. One of the silliest thing we all do to ourselves is feel we are unloved, unwanted, and rejected. I want to tell you right now you are not unloved. You love you more than anyone ever will and "Gasp" god loves you too even if you reject him. Now as a writer you understand we all thrive on rejection. What don't believe me? Go check your mail and count the reject slips. Or the ones you used to wall paper your bath room with. Now that I had my fun teasing you allow me to tell you that I enjoyed your diversity and your music taste. Being a Vietnam Veteran I grew up with that music fought to it and made fun of the Vietnam radio operator for the enemy. Oh how we loved to hate Jane Fonda. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Favorite Entries I really like this entry "Cathartic Upheaval It explained a lot more about you and your growing pains as an author and as a person. I feel for you and wish you well on the bright new world you have found. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Theme or Over all Feeling I feel your theme is a young man growing up becoming the man/writer he wants to evolve into. Kind of like a good friend of mine. His main goal in life was to be able to write so good he would have people laughing and crying. Tearing their hair out and screaming because he was so good. He finally got the job that allowed him to do just exactly that. He writes the blue screen error messages for Microsoft Windows. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Enhancements I see your not stuck with just plain black and white. You do a lot of different things in your blog entries. This makes for a more interesting effect, and I noticed that blog readers love difference. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Activity You seem fairly active in your blog great job on that part of blogging. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Presentation As a professional your blog entries do look good. They are very well written and you stick to your subject. A lot of writers don't realize presentation has two parts. Part one the physical appearance of your blog entries. Do they look like the work of a professional writer. for the most your do. but you could still use {indent} here and there. The second part is your wordsmithing does your word choices present the subject in a professional manner? I have to say your an excellent writer and yes you do the second part really well. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation
I pried and tried.
I looked far and wide.
Alas no bad grammar,
Could this Grammar Nazi find! (Please excuse my poor attempt at humor but it is true!) *CheckB*

*BulletB* Summery I want to thank you for allowing me to review your blog. I always find it fun and refreshing to learn about different writers, and what makes them different. I wish you well on your journey. *CheckB*

*Exclaim* Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your blog *Exclaim* Whatever another person says -- especially me *Exclaim* -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion *Exclaim* You are the only one who can decide what is right for your blog. *Exclaim*

Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing more things just like this!

This is a review from The Blog City Welcoming Committee

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
74
74
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi there Princess Megan Rose ! "Gasp!" We are here to welcome you to Blog City! Today I am reviewing "What Gets Better With Age? for you blog
BOOK
Megan's Blog City Journal  (ASR)
Entries for Blog City are here and maybe other surprises.
#977405 by Princess Megan Rose


*BulletB* General Impressions What gets better with age? you take an interesting look at this subject. I know most people would have said wine, cheese, and Alcohol. I find that knowledge is vast and over rated. But our learning process does make us better as we age this is very true. I'm not sure money is an answer because it is a curse as well as a help. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Favorite Entries I like this "What Gets Better With Age? because of the different way you answered the question. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Theme or Over all Feeling I liked the answers you gave and from your point of view I can relate with on them. now the theme of your blog is one of answers. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Enhancements I noticed you do very pretty color pictures with your blogs. Very artistic and everyone loves a lot of color. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Activity I see you have kept this Blog going on and off for quite a while. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Presentation As you know presentation is two parts how your page is presented and how well the text is used to present your subject. As with most documents to be a professional you should use {indent} on the physical side on the second part you use your wordsmithing in a very excellent way. Great job on that. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation
I pried and tried.
I looked far and wide.
Alas no bad grammar,
Could this Grammar Nazi find! (Please excuse my poor attempt at humor but it is true!) *CheckB*

*BulletB* Summery In summery I enjoyed reading through your blog. I really enjoyed a different take on getting better with age. If you noticed I avoided saying anything on your take on love your right I did. My reason is that in a sense you are right about relationships but not all relationships age well I got divorced after thirteen years of marriage, and I blame myself for being young, dumb, and stupid. My second marriage has grown we will be celebrating or twenty seventh wedding anniversary this year. My answer on love is it still hurts after all those years there are somethings that don't fade with time.*CheckB*

*Exclaim* Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your blog *Exclaim* Whatever another person says -- especially me *Exclaim* -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion *Exclaim* You are the only one who can decide what is right for your blog. *Exclaim*

Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing more things just like this!

This is a review from The Blog City Welcoming Committee

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
75
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Review of I Wish  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
"Gasp!" You are being reviewed by a newbie! Dear dog pack:saving4 premium renew ,

I am reviewing your "I Wish I am reviewing your story as a part of your shower at "Invalid Item. These are just my observations about your work, and you should take what you find useful and disregard the rest.


"Offering quality helpful reviews in a positive and encouraging manner."


*BulletB* General Impressions Hi I have seen you around even been reviewed by you on a few items. I thought I might return the favor. Now I would like to tell you I decided I might like to do this as well. I went in the section and the Story Master has it discounted that it is down right affordable to me one tear for $100.00 dang thing only shows me the dollar amounts no points. I think the reason is I have a full paid up 1 year upgraded account. My sweet wife paid for mine as a Christmas gift. The way you wrote this plea for help was so well written that I actually discussed paying for the one year for you using the discounted price. I like how you stated you will wish and hope and save up gp. That is the spirit that makes our country great.*CheckB*

*BulletB* Favorite Parts Yes, I am very thankful for the upgrade which I currently have; because of the generosity of many people here at writing.com, however, the premium upgrade keeps calling me. I wish I had enough time to save up the required gift points, so that I could afford to get it and shut it up. Normally I don't review letters or articles. But once I got started it hooked me and I had to finish it. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Theme Your theme is wanting to help others. I have noticed this about you as well in your reviews. Example: " We will be active here as much as possible so that we can spread joy through out the writing.com community." *CheckB*

*BulletB* Presentation The only physical error is one lower case 'i' that should be capitalized. It would look more profession if you indented it. If you meant it as a business letter it is correct as is. Now just in case you don't know; if you do {indent} it works great, and is so easy to use. The second part is the voice how did your writing express the subject It did it very well great job in your word choices. *CheckB*

*BulletB* Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation
I pried and tried.
I looked far and wide.
Alas no bad grammar,
Could this Grammar Nazi find! (Please excuse my poor attempt at humor but it is true!) *CheckB*

*Exclaim* Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your story *Exclaim* Whatever another person says -- especially me *Exclaim* -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion *Exclaim* You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story.
*Exclaim*

Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing more things just like this!

This review is part of your *Waterdrop*shower*Waterdrop* from *UmbrellaB**RainbowL*Showering Acts of Joy*RainbowR**UmbrellaB*.


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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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