|You do a good job painting pictures, but I think you need to do another edit. War-hardened gets a hyphen. Medially is medley.
If you're thinking of eventual publication, think of tightening things up a bit too. For example, your first line reads, "The music she played was beautiful, and deadly." Contrast that with, "She played beautiful and deadly music." That's a cut of two words (25%) and you lose one of the dreaded to be verbs (was).
Another advantage comes from placing your subject and verb at the beginning of the sentence. According to Roy C Clark of the Poynter Institute, the clearest sentences start with the action.
In the second paragraph you use "fowl" but the context suggests you mean "foul."
In the fourth paragraph you say, "the dead where slowly rising." I think you meant "the dead were slowly rising." But, even that can be tightened. "The dead arose slowly." Remember, it's a good thing to get rid of superfluous words.
Oh and if the dead were slowly rising, why would they be upon her soon? Was she moving even slower or not at all?
The end of the story sounds like a synopsis. You are telling us how the story unfolded instead of showing us through action. Instead of telling us about the one finger that cut off the thumb, detail that battle for us. Let us see the motivations and desires of the traitor rather than call him such.
Overall, you have a good imagination and creativity, but I think you need to work on your story-telling skills. Keep writing.