|I have a lot of good things to say about this, but just one that might not read so swell....so I'll bury it.
Your basic plot is very strong: the characters fit together well enough and they're compelling and highly sympathetic, especially the main character. Your dialogue is also very good, to the extent I'd call it your unquestioned strength. Solid as the characters are, I'd only suggest you set a high bar for finding plausible ways to fit them together. On the plus side, you succeed on the level of basic plausibility - that's to say, as little as I know about your characters, what they do and say makes enough sense to justify it. The girl is your big outlier, however, the hardest piece to fit in. That's also a testament to your ambition, which is also admirable.
Now the comment that might not read so well. I don't know if you're a big reader - and please don't take offense if you are - but I'd simply suggest that you bury yourself deep, not only in this genre, but in just about anything suspense/crime based. This comes from a positive place: as noted above, you have a strong story here that just needs polishing; your dialogue is very good, but the narrative feels a little mechanical and it's there were things feel a little stretched in terms of making sense of your characters' interactions. Seeing how others handle this could help clean up the piece into something very impressive.
That said, I have scooted past three stories and this is the first that genuinely warranted a review. This is good work and keep writing.