Jim's (jim-d) Reviews

Review Requests: ON
3,572 Public Reviews Given
3,620 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual for the most part. I will point out errors I see and offer suggested corrections. I like to focus on the content and formatting of the item. I love providing helpful comments and feedback that may improve the item if acted on.
I'm good at...
I like to provide suggestions to the author on things I see that may need a second look. I'm not afraid to do a little research to verify a poem's format, or the contents of a story (if requested).
Favorite Genres
Mystery, Horror, Sci-Fi, Comedy, and Suspense
Least Favorite Genres
Honestly, I will read anything if asked. I just prefer those listed above.
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, novellas, books (though a review of that may take days/weeks due to my schedule), Poetry of any format.
Least Favorite Item Types
I find non-structured poetry difficult to review, unless there is a short disclaimer about this non-structure that would help in understanding the reason it's in that particular format.
I will not review...
I'm not interested in Vore, In and Out's, Growing/Shrinking, or other items that are similar to one of these.
Public Reviews
1
1

Review of A Cellular Reflection  

Review by jim-dMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hey beholdenMail Icon,

         I found this essay on Read & Review thought I'd drop by for a spell.

         I like your idea about our cells and how they are renewed every so often. You caused me to do a little investigation, I learned that the seven year rule is not absolute for all cells. Here's what a quick Google Search yielded.

         Human cells are constantly being replaced, but not all at once—the rate depends entirely on the type of cell, ranging from a few days to over a decade. While the "7-year myth" is inaccurate, most of your body's cells are replaced within 7 to 15 years, though some, like heart muscle cells, can last a lifetime.

Cell Replacement Rates by Type
         Stomach/Intestine Lining: 3–5 days (due to high acid and constant wear).
         Skin Cells: 2–4 weeks (constantly shedding and renewing).
         Red Blood Cells: About 120 days (constantly filtered by the spleen).
         Liver Cells: 1–2 years (highly regenerative).
         Bone Cells: ~10 years (entire skeleton regenerates).
         Neurons (Brain): Many are never replaced and last your entire life.
         Heart Muscle Cells: Very slow turnover; many stay with you forever.

Key Takeaways
         It's a misconception that everything turns over in 7 years. Some organs never fully renew.
         Fastest cells: Digestive tract, skin, blood.
         Slowest/No replacement: Neurons in the cerebral cortex, heart muscles, lens of the eye.
         Replacement slows with age: The process of cell death and regeneration becomes less efficient as you get older.
         Essentially, you are constantly turning over, but not uniformly.

         I chuckled a little as I read your description of old cells being replaced. Your view is a bit bizarre, but it does get your point across about cell replacement. It's a good thing humans are not treated like that. Oh wait, if you work for a major Corporation as I did, once you announce your retirement you become almost useless to them.

         I really enjoyed how you described the cells and how they communicate with each other as they pass the torch.

         An excellent Essay, thank you for sharing!



Jim
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2
2

Review of Pit Stop  

Review by jim-dMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Hey jeffMail Icon

         I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop for a spell!

         You have an excellent story here that reminded me of a time Kathy and I were in Colorado, and almost ran out of gas. Except we didn't find a small town with everyone attending a funeral for a college friend of hers.

         You wrote this well jeffMail Icon, I expected that from you. The small twist of Nicky seeing the easel with Kimberly's photo on it is very good. I'm not sure how I would have reacted with that was a photo of a schoolmate.

         Despite my love of this story, I do have a couple of suggestions for you, should you decide to edit this.

         1. Use the 'Indent' button to indent the first line of each paragraph. It's not a requirement of any type, it's a personal preference of mine.

         2. You have this -------------------- to separate the first part of the story, and the final part that dealt mainly with Nicky. I would suggest using the line command for this instead. I've placed the line here.

 

         The command I used is {Line:dash} There are many more, I don't pretend to know them all. In my Notepad, I do have about 35 - 40 of them saved. With the recent changes that StoryMaster has made, I just click and drag the line to the WDC document

         An excellent story. thank you for sharing!



Jim
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3
3

Review of A Sleigh Ride Through Hell  

Review by jim-dMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hey velvetiguana

         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your WDC 19th Anniversary!

         This is a pretty eerie story you've written. It's not overly scary, it's just eerie.

         I wondered where the story was taking us, especially when the artist screwed the handles of the beard to his face. I did wonder how his cheekbones were swollen and purple, at least until I read the twist at the end.

         I enjoyed the story, and of course I have a few, very minor comments for you about it, should you decide to edit this.

         1. Enlarge the font! Some of us on WDC can read it, but man, it would be so much easier if the font was larger.

         2. Double space your paragraphs. This is not a formal requirement, it's more of a personal prefereence. While you're doing that, ensure your paragraphs are indented properly. Here's an example:

                   “Come on,” she jerked him along. “The suit is in here.”
         Jonathan followed Elizabeth through the dimly lit museum, passing figures of history at every turn.

         In copying and pasting those paragrphs, I saw why not all paragraphs are indented the same. You used the space bar to indent them, not the indent button.

         I loved it when the Statue of Lincoln moved, and spoke to Jonathan. Small statements like that are what made this story eerie. I think your ending needs a bit more added to it. I realize Jonathan had been dreaming, but why did he weep (again) when he woke? A small explanation would suffice.

         A very interesting and eerie tale. Thank you for sharing!



Jim
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4
4

Review of Death's Door  

Review by jim-dMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hey nimage

         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your WDC 4th Anniversary!

         I really enjoyed your story. Ayaan had quite a scare seeing his name on a grave, with his death sometime in the future. I'd love to know what happend, did he really die on that date? If so, how? If it was me, I'm not sure what I would do.

         Despite really enjoying your story, it does need a little editing TLC. I will show you a couple of examples, should you decide to edit this.

         1. Unlike the other stones I’d saw while walking through the cemetery, this one had a thick green layer of lichen on it and I soon realized I was going to have to clean it if I were to verify wether I was at the right grave. A minor misspelling here, wether should be whether. However, I only speak American English though, if this is correctly spelled in your language, forgive my comment please.

         2. I crawled out from beneath the bushes, brushing and straightening my clothes. Then I put my knife back in my pocket and stood there looking at the stone with my name on it … with my name, birth and death date on it! This seems off to me. How could you be looking at the headstone when you had to crawl out of the area?

         3. I did at least on some level believe the date on the gravestone, and I wasn’t going to waste what little time I had left. This is worded very awkwardly. Maybe a slightly better wording could br used. On some level, I believed the date on the gravestone, and I wasn’t going to waste what little time I had left.

         This is a story that can leave you with a slight chill. Thank you for sharing!


Jim
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5
5

Review of A Bridge to You  

Review by jim-dMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hey sadilouMail Icon,

         I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop by for a spell.

         This is pretty sad, a father just surviving, living day to day. I think anyone mired in a job that just gets them by feels this way. I wasn't quite where he's at long ago, but I just survived day to day.

         I really liked this, but it does need a little editing TLC. I'll not itemized everything, plus there's not that many. If you choose to edit this, this is something to consider. Your use of English is off a little bit in several places. This is a couple of them.

         1, As I get out of work this morning, I stop and stare into the sky and remember. He's remembering the past here, so get should be got.

         2. I let my eyes follow the black smoke billowing into the sky where it joins the shadows of clouds before the sun. It seems the word smoke is missing from this line.

         Like I first said, a very sad story of a man surviving day to day. Thank you for sharing!



Jim
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6
6

Review of The lantern at the Edge of the Woods  

Review by jim-dMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hey gegebeeMail Icon,

         I saw this on the Read & Review page and thought I'd drop by for a visit. First, I see you joined Writing.com (WDC as many of us call it). Welcome to the site!

         This is a very good short story you've written, Full of love, compassion for someone who recently passed. I felt the warmth as I read it. I see you've rated it as 13+, but you could lower that to 'E' if you chose.

         If I may, I have a couple of very minor suggestions for you.

         1. Place the title, centered on the page, above the story. It's a personal thing here, there's no requirement to do that. I just feel it looks a little better when you do that.

         2. Use a double space between your paragraphs. Here's what I found after a quick Google search. A new paragraph should be used whenever there is a significant shift in the focus of writing, often remembered by the acronym TiP ToP (Time, Place, Topic, Person). Paragraph breaks act as "turn signals" for the reader, providing a necessary pause to digest information and prepare for new ideas. In my humble opinion, this line should start a new paragraph. But on the night her grandmother passed, the lantern glowed. Right now you have one lengthy paragraph for your story. In re-reading it, I'd say you should have 6 or 7 paragraphs.

         3. You have several places where a comma should be used. Use something like Microsoft Word to edit this. It will show you where a comma is needed. I'm not sure Google Docs does that.


         A very good story here, thank you for sharing!








Jim
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7
7

Review of Jewel’s Kids  

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In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+
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Hey tgifisher77Mail Icon,

         I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop in for a spell.

         Uhhh, where do i begin after saying WOW? This is such a unique story, with horror that makes you say, "Huh?"

         I know of wasps who inhabit a host, I've just never thought of a human being used as a host.

         That initial euphoria was replaced by horror it seems, & rightly so. Don running away would be a natural thing to do. I know I'd have run. A very good stort with a bizarre ending. I think the thing to do is not take a pregnancy test!

         Thank you for sharing!




Jim
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8
8

Review of The Vault of Forbidden Knowledge  

Review by jim-dMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hey jeffhansMail Icon,

         I found this on the Read & Review page and thought I'd drop in for a spell.

         You have written a very intriguing story here, I'm in! At 71 years now, can this thing help me? *Laugh*

         I realize it's fictional in nature, but if something like this existed, imagine what it would cost to have it treat you!

         The weapons he saw were very interesting. Each with a blade of a material we don't know of. Self Sharpening is intriguing to say the least. I love the storyline, I wish there was more to Dr. Creek, and what he would do to earn that $500,000 each year. It would be nice to know what else those things can teach them.

         A very good story, thank you for sharing!


Jim
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9
9

Review of He Knows  

Review by jim-dMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hey daveryan,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 3rd WDC Anniversary! I actuallty found this on Read & Review and knew I had to write one for you.

         I loved your story-line for this! All Dialog which you carried well on it. The colored text really helped to identify what he was dreaming of and what was him talking in the middle of the night. To have those kind of thoughts though.... Wow!

         Using the song of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town as his dream verbage was excellent. Plus decreasing the size of the font as the words in his head ran past was a nice touch.

         An excellent story, thank you for sharing, and Happy Anniversary!


Jim
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10
10

Review of Tired of walking  

Review by jim-dMail Icon
In affiliation with Anniversary Reviews Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hey {suser:datrice1}

         I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop in for a spell.

I liked your essay. Yes, it reads more like an essay than a poem. I know the feeling of being forced to walk everywhere vs driving or riding. That was long ago though, probably before you were born. As children, we walked everywhere. Or rode our bikes if we had them. A nice essay, thank you for sharing!


Jim
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11
11

Review of Writing.Com 101  

Review by jim-dMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hey storymistressMail Icon,

         I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd stop in for a short while.

         You're right of course, we all receive negative reviews at times. In fact I received one from a member in Greece (at least that's what his profile shows) four days ago, It's a decent poem, he gave it 1.5 stars, yet it's average score is a very generous 4.5 stars. I think 3.5 is better grade for that poem.

         I love advice like this, a negative review puts things in perspective, as well as reminding us that we are not God's gift to writers. Despite enjoying this a lot, there's one sentence that needs a bit of work.

         A big benefit to is that it is free for anyone to use I'll use the first sentence as an example. A big benefit of what? You need to add the word Account in that line. Also, as currently worded, the to after benefit should be too. Or maybe edit the sentence like this. A big benefit to having that initial account is that it is free for anyone to use.

         A great topic that every member should read. Thank you for sharing!




Jim
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12
12

Review of The Alien in her Head  

Review by jim-dMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hey shelley


         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 23rd WDC Anniversary!

         The idea for your story is pretty unique, but I wish there was more to it. What I mean ias, I wish itr had more depth. Just MHO is all. Since it has a comedy feel to it, (and the Comedy genre chosen) I'm not sure, I'm not sure how you'd get this done.

         For me, I wonder how that meteorite got in her head without her being hospitalized. Apparently it wasn't when she was hit by a car while riding her bike, so it makes me wonder is all.

         Still, it's a cute story, thank you for sharing!


Jim
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13
13

Review of A Creeping Redness  

Review by jim-dMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+
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Hey beholdenMail Icon,

         I found this on the Read & Review page and thought I'd drop in for a spell.

         I really enjoyed your story, despite the blood and guts that was rampant throughout the story. Why? Espeially since I'm not a fan of people dying all around. I liked it, and enjoyed it because you didn't use the 'a brave soul ended up saving the village' trope. That seems to prevalent in most stories. Here, you leaned more towards a Stephen King type of ending. Realistic. Brutally realistic.

         I just can't imagine that amount of blood making into Ivan's hiding place. Why? Because it would soak into the clothing of the murdered captives first. And of course the wood that covered the floor. But, I don't know anything about how much blood would have seeped from those bodies. It would have taken a lot, that much I do know.

         A very good story, and it won the SCREAMS! contest. Thank you for sharing!




Jim
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14
14

Review of I am Smarter (300-word flash)  

Review by jim-dMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
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Hey myladydragonMail Icon,

         I was browsing by genre today, so I chose Folklore to select from, and found this! For better or worse, here I am.

         This is an interesting bit of writing you have here. It's both Folklore and FanFiction! I loved the end where Luditto had the advantage on Technod. I think the king was right when he said, “I refuse to have my subjects quarreling at dinner. It ruins the appetite,”

          I could see these two leaving the hall arm in arm singing songs drunkenly. I like your story, but if I may, I need to share a little writing advice.

         1. When a new character begins to speak, you should start a new paragraph. One line paragraphs would be fine then!

         2. Double space every paragraph, even the one line ones. This is not a literary requirement, it just make it easier to read in an online format.

         A nice story, I'd love to read it as a longer version. Thank you for sharing!




Jim
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15
15

Review of Mary’s Macaroni and Peas  

Review by jim-dMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hey brennusMail Icon,

I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop by for a spell.

I'd love to give this recipe a try, but my wife can't stand Peas! *Frown*

I think it might (with might being a really huge word there) be possible to substitute a different green vegetable for the Peas, I'm not sure which one would be best. I'd say Brussel Sprouts, but the flavor would be far off I'm afraid. I think people don't eat enough of those is all. I'd have them sometimes when I dined out while traveling. Being retired now, I can't convince her to buy them. I wonder why....

A nice recipe, thank you for sharing!



Jim
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16
16

Review of NOT FLAWLESS  

Review by jim-dMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E
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Hey {suser:bus45man80}

         I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop in for a spell.

         What you've written is very true. However, you have one small error in your wording. Worse should be Worst.

         Thank you for sharing!




Jim
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17
17

Review of The Lady of Blackthorn Keep  

Review by jim-dMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
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Hey jensen74,

I found this on the Read & Review and thought I'd drop in for a spell.

I will confess that I couldn't read your complete story. I think a lot of it is the Formatting you've chosen to use. What do I mean? Well, you have three chapters, each one is a paragraph. I'm not going to pick that first paragraph apart, I will show you how to divide a chapter into paragraphs. I have indented the first line of each paragraph I've created, as well as adding a blank line between paragraphs. It just makes it easier to read is all. Also, I've taken the liberty to move lines in an effort to make it 'read better'.

You wrote:

         The sea never slept. It hurled itself endlessly against the black cliffs below Blackthorn Keep, waves shattering into white foam before retreating again into the dark water.

          High above the cliffs stood the castle, Blackthorn Keep. The wind carried the sound upward, threading through narrow stone windows and winding corridors as though the castle itself were breathing. Its towers were thin and severe, rising like dark fingers into the gray sky. Ivy clung to the outer walls, and the iron gates below had not been opened in many years.

         The villagers in the valley rarely looked toward it. But when they did, they lowered their voices. Because someone still lived there.

         Inside the tallest tower, a single candle flickered. The flame bent and swayed as the wind slipped through the old stonework. Seated beside an ornate wooden table was a woman dressed entirely in black. Her name was Elara Blackthorne. She sat very still, her long dark hair falling over her shoulders like ink spilled across velvet. (Velvet color is a deep, luxurious, and warm hue that often sits between red and purple on the color wheel, specifically resembling rich plum or burgundy. I am not sure how her black hair would show up on Velvet). The candlelight illuminated the pale curve of her face, the quiet intelligence in her dark eyes, and the calm expression she always seemed to wear

         Her head tilted slightly upward. Listening. Not to the sea. Not to the wind. But to something deeper within the castle. The sound came faintly through the stone beneath her feet. A distant echo. A whisper of movement. Elara closed her eyes for a moment. “Quiet tonight,” she murmured softly. The castle answered only with the low sigh of wind through the corridors.

         She allowed herself a small breath of relief. Far below the cliffs, in the village of Greythorne Hollow, a lantern burned in the window of the tavern. Inside, several villagers sat around a rough wooden table, their voices low. A young fisherman glanced toward the dark silhouette of the castle looming above the cliffs. “Tell me again,” he said, leaning forward, “is it true she’s lived there alone all these years?” An older man beside him snorted. “Aye. Longer than you’ve been alive.” “And no one ever sees her?” The old man scratched his beard thoughtfully. “Some do. Rarely.” The fisherman’s eyes widened. “And what’s she like?” The old man leaned back in his chair. “Tall. Pale. Black dress every time anyone’s seen her.”

         Another villager crossed himself quietly. “They say she’s a witch.” The old man shook his head slowly. “No,” he said. “Something stranger than that.” Back in the castle, Elara walked slowly along one of the long corridors. Her footsteps echoed softly against the stone floor. Portraits lined the walls - generations of the Blackthorne family staring solemnly outward from heavy gilded frames. Men and women dressed in dark formal clothing, their expressions dignified and distant.

         Elara paused before one portrait in particular. A young woman stood beside a stone balcony overlooking the sea. She wore a pale dress, her hair loose in the wind. She looked happy. Alive. Elara studied the painting quietly. “I barely remember you smiling like that,” she whispered. The woman in the painting, of course, said nothing. Because the woman in the portrait… was herself. Painted many years ago. Before the castle had fallen silent. Before the night the storm came.

         Elara turned away. Some memories were better left undisturbed. The wind rose outside. A long mournful sound rolled through the towers. Elara continued down the corridor until she reached a narrow spiral staircase. Few people knew this stairway existed. Fewer still had ever descended it. She lifted a candle from the iron holder on the wall and began walking down. Step by step.

         I do like the Premise of your story. You do a really good job in describing Elara and her surroundings as well as the Tavern and the people in it. Excellent Job there!

         When I queried adding a new paragraph to a chapter, I received the following. The AI Overview says this. A new paragraph should be added in a chapter when there is a shift in time, place, topic, speaker (TIPTOP), or to break up long, dense text to enhance readability. Paragraphs act as visual and mental breaks, helping to manage the pacing and structure of the story, with a general rule of thumb being one idea per paragraph.

         A fine story really. A few tweaks to its Formatting, a few minor edits will allow it to receive higher marks from future reaers. Thank you for sharing!


Jim
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18
18

Review of Mouse gets the cheese  

Review by jim-dMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hey mikewritesMail Icon,

Here I am again, finding something you've written on Read & Review!

         This is prtty cute, I can see why you won the Daily Flash contest. I could have told your main character to put peanut Butter on the trap. I've done that, but I place it in such a way that it's not easily removed. I've been sitting in my living room and suddenly hear the trap being sprung. With Peanut Butter, I've had a 100% success rate. Anything else just doesn't compare.

         A nice story, thank you for sharing!



Jim
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19
19

Review of Break  

Review by jim-dMail Icon
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Rated: 13+
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Hey isany1listenigMail Icon

         I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop in for a spell.

         You lay it on the line in this monologue, I love it. If anyone ever says, "your not giving me enough attention", step back a moment and ask yourself, "Is this what I want from him (her)? (BTW, your should be you're. Just me being me is all.)

I'm much older than you, I hate to sound like an old coot, but I'm me, nothing else. Heck, I have Grandchildren older than you!

         I think teens today have it tough. Heck, I think being a teen, no matter what year it is, is tough. Don't let anyone tell you we had it so much tougher than you. I'm 71, almost 72. I wouldn't be a teen again for all the money in the world!

         Like I initially said, you laid it all on the line here. I could see your heart in about every word. Just take care of YOU! Everything else will fall in place. Eventually. A nice monologue, thank you for sharing!




Jim
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Review of A mother’s love  

Review by jim-dMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hey sumojoMail Icon,

         I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop in for a spell.

         This is quite the story! Wow. I sure as hell hope this isn't a true story, but with one genre listed as Biographical, it sure seems it would be.

         I can understand your surprise at having twins, and depending on how old your daughter is, maybe doctor's couldn't tell back then. Still, it seems you could have, and should have, been told it was possible you were bearing twins.

         I can't imagine going through what you and your husband have experienced with her. Frankly, I'm glad I didn't. I'd like to think I could have handled it, I don't think my first wife would have. Either way, kudo's to you and your husband in everything you did for your daughter.

         An excellent biographical story about your daughter. Thank you for sharing!




Jim
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21
21

Review of Reflections  

Review by jim-dMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hey theobeahmanMail Icon,

         I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd pop in for a spell.

         This is an interesting story you've written. This is not talked about by people very often, for goiod reason,

         I think we all fear dying, you wrote that in your story. I find it hard to know Celebrities have passed, some of them my age or slightly older. It's okay, we all have to go someday.

         I have to make one constructive here. You wrote It all started when I was only a little fledgling, slowly moving towards my elder self when unbeknownst to me something in my head said "you're going to die one day" and the thought of my existence being perished gave me one of my first goosebumps, I shrugged it off but slowly it kept creeping up on me, even though I wanted no part of it. First, that's a run-on sentence. You could write two sentences there. Maybe something like this. It all started when I was a little fledgling, slowly moving towards my elder self, when unbeknownst to me something in my head said "you're going to die one day". The thought of my existence being perished gave me one of my first goosebumps. I shrugged it off but it slowly kept creeping up on me, even though I wanted no part of it. I do not think that perished is the word to use here. I don't have a suggestion for you though, I'll leave any edits up to you.

         An interesting story, thank you for sharing!


Jim
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22
22

Review of As Night Falls  

Review by jim-dMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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Hey omstarMail Icon,

I found this on Read and Review and thought I'd drop in for a spell.

Your story reminds me of one of my own that I recently wrote. "A New World Order I was sure you would have Zombies in it too! I liked how you built the tension of the story. That's why I was sure you'd have Zombies in it. But it was nice to learn that people were throwing fireworks at each other. An interesting story. Thank you for sharing!


Jim
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23
23

Review of The Day When I Met The Love Of My Life  

Review by jim-dMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E
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Hey themasterof679Mail Icon,

         I found this on Read & Review and thought Id drop in for a spell.

         You've written this as a poem, I think it's excellent! However, you didn't format it as a poem with verses.

         In my humble opinion, I would format it this way. (First two lines only)
Susie walked in sunshine, with laughter in her eyes, (12)
like morning light on windows and blue in summer skies. (13)
She hummed her favorite love songs while walking home from school, (13)
not knowing someone watched her and tried to play it cool. (13)
 
         Right now I wouldn't worry too much about the rhythm. To me, telling a story is far more important that sticking to a rhythm format. The number next to each line is the number of syllables in the line. As you can see, the rhythm in those lines is very good. Some reviewers will say you need proper punctuation. That's not something I believe you need in poem, but it's just my opinion there, nothing more.

         I think you've written an excellent poem here, thank you for sharing!




Jim
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24
24

Review of My Muse Has Been Acting Funny  

Review by jim-dMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hey soledad_moonMail Icon,

         Good Afternoon! I found this on Read & Review and thought I'd drop in for a spell.

         I got a kick out of your descriptions of your Muse. You're right, I think your muse as a 'thing' for you. Does he have the hots for you? I can't say, only you would know that.

         A whole daty with nothing going on and your Muse decides to make a scene. Not only that, you end up writing erotica! You said you never write something like that, but you can't say never anymore. Rarely. Yes. Never? No!

         I think it would be a scary world if Authors obeyed their Muses all time. Maybe there are some who do. They are the prolific ones, like Stephen King. *Cool*

         A very good story, thank you for sharing!




Jim
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25
25

Review of Read the Instructions!  

Review by jim-dMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hey winniekayMail Icon,

         Like my good friend sybaritescribeMail Icon, I'm reviewing by genre right now. I'm not as faithful as he is though, I often take breaks from this activity. Today's genre is Educational and I stumbled across this, so I thought I'd drop by and sit a while.

         This is excellent advice for almost anyone. It's advice I received over 50 years ago while attending Naval Nuclear Power School. Tjhe instructions were almost identical to the ones you list here. I am sure that 90% of students who see something like this will Not Read The Instructions. It's just the human way. Give a test with these instructions to a 1st grader, they will most likely follow them. They haven't yet learned yo feel they know it all.

         A very good article, thank you for sharing!




Jim
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