I posted in "I Write: Enter the Second Decade" so I have the privilege of reviewing your post.
I have to confess that in my opinion, this needs a lot of work. I will provide you my detailed comments about it.
1. This was written for the "Poetry Topic of the Month Contest" , but after reading it 3-4 times, I don't see anything in it that resembles a poem. In a poem, there should be a flow that contains a rhyme scheme (not required, but it can provide a more fluid read when rhyming is used), and definitely a rhythm to it. This has neither of those, then again, you don't have poetry listed as a genre. So I'm a little confused as a result. Your genre's list it as a Book (entry), Contest Entry, but you wrote this for an entry in a Poetry Contest. You see my confusion.
2. You say that Mental illness is like physical illness in the first verse, and proceed to tell us that Not many people are aware of mental illness, but that's not true at all. The second verse, third line states that word needs to be spread to schools and companies. and that Mental Illness is a real deal. Many companies have groups to help those with a Mental Illness. Their insurance covers mental health problems, they are at least trying. So the word has arrived at companies at least. I can't speak for schools, I've not been in one for over 50 years now. Maybe the general public seems ill-informed about it, but again I'd beg to differ on that too. Does the general public care about the issue though? In my opinion, NO.
3. In poetry, less is more. What I mean by that is fewer words can say a lot more than many words. The last line of the first verse states "So they just don't understand what is going on" In a poem, I would only start a line with 'So' on very few occasions. This is written more as an essay than a poem. It is not a poem, poetry is not listed as a genre, yet it is written for a Poetry contest, which I've mentioned before. Below is a very small (emphasis on very small) example of a first verse in a poem about Mental Illness.
Mental disease is a horrible thing,
One can have it. Yes, even a King.
What type though? Who shall I see?
I'm not loony, that you can agree.
This is a start to a large project. In my humble opinion, do a complete rewrite of this so it is consistent in either being a poem for entry in the contest, or an essay that has some bulk to it. Why do I say that? Because this needs depth, explanations, lists of some of the types of Mental Illnesses. Without something like that, you have words on a page so-to-speak. If you do edit this and would like me to review it again, please let me know, and I will rewrite my review.
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