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144 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Will You See Me  
Review by Kristina ~
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,
I came across your poem on the Hub page, and I enjoyed reading it very much. I could feel the emotion reaching out to me as I read. It is very well written, and the message is very clear.
Thank you for sharing,
Kristina
2
2
Review of Holiday  
Review by Kristina ~
Rated: E | (5.0)
I absolutely loved this story. I had no difficulty following the names that you chose for the weather, time passing and the change of seasons.
Very well written, *BigSmile*
Thank you for sharing
Kristina
3
3
Review by Kristina ~
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Tina,

I came across this short story and I absolutely love it. Perhaps you could lengthen it and make a kitten the main character and show his life growing up, how he feels about crossing human paths, or perhaps he is next in line to rule and wants to conduct the Black cat kingdom differently?

There is so many possibilities.
The story line is great and I see no errors.
This is great, keep up the good work.

Congratulations on Third Place! *BigSmile*
Kristina
4
4
Review by Kristina ~
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello! I found your story on The Review Requests Page. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.


*FlowerY* Overall Impression:

It was very easy for me relate to this story, being from Southern California. I understand about the "crowd group" (gangs) being over abundant here. Though they are everywhere, So. Calif. has an over abundance. It is not uncommon for knifings and gun shot wounds to happen every week. I nicked named it the local Reunion of The Knife and Gun Club." when I worked as a surgical nurse in the county hospital. One learns quickly who is safe to trust and those to stay away from.

*FlowerY* Plot:
You presented your plot ( events) very nice and they were quite organized as they unfolded to build interest.

*FlowerY* Style and Voice:
The tone of voice was very good and the story pace was excellent. You started out in a slow pace and quickened when the boy was thrown from the car; then slowed it down again at towards the end as the story resolved itself.

*FlowerY* Scene/Setting:
Excellent! It very easy for me to visualize where things were happening.

*FlowerY* Characters:
Well developed, easy to relate to and realistic.

*FlowerY* Dialogue:
There was none, however, none was needed.

*FlowerY* Grammar and Mechanics:
No errors noted

*FlowerY* Suggestions:
Perhaps sometime, you could plug in some fictional names and build a longer piece.
This story has merit.

*BigSmile* Thank you for sharing your story. Write on!

Kristina






*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review by Kristina ~
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi JJ,
I found your Outine on the Hub page, and I think that this Outline is a good starter gate that you need for Character Development. I like to develop mine in great detail. I like to feel that I know them so well that I can anticipate their reaction to any given situation. It is the characters that tell the story.

I know, I know, at times I think my family are convinced that I am off in a third world because they have caught actually talking to my characters about the story.

I have two links that I made and would like to share with you, and you are certainly welcome to use them.

"Invalid Item and "Invalid Item
I also noticed that you are new here. Welcome! Welcome! Welcome! *BigSmile*

Great Job!
Write On!

Kristina
6
6
Review of The Hospital  
for entry "A Lousy Day
Review by Kristina ~
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi, I found your story "The Hospital" on the Action/Adventure Genre page and enjoyed reading it very much. I thought it to extremely interesting and well written, as well as creative.

The plot is strong and easy to follow and the characters are enigmatic. I did not note any grammar or punctuation errors. I don't feel that I need offer any suggestions because you did such a great job.

The setting is good and vivid and adds to the tone of the story. Your opening was very creative. I am looking forward to reading the rest.

Great Job!
Write On!

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7
7
Review by Kristina ~
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi, I found your story under New Statics on The Hub Page and I enjoyed reading it very much. I thought it to be well written and very humerous. The plot was strong and easy to follow and the characters very enigmatic. I did not notice any errors in grammar or punctuation.

Great job! *Smile*
Write on!

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8
8
Review of Meeting Him  
Review by Kristina ~
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello {storyteller [retired]:}*Smile*

I just finished reading Meeting Him, and I enjoyed it very much. I'd like to offer you the following comments.

*TulipP* Overall Impression:

I thought this to be very humorous and well written. I must say that I couldn't stop laughing as I read it. You represented the authors point of view very well.

*TulipB*What I liked most:

I liked the author's choice of language very well.

*TulipR*Characters:

Very strong and vivid to the imagination

*TulipO*Setting:

Very vivid. Easy to imagine

*TulipV*Plot:

Strong and easy to follow

*TulipO*Grammar/Punctuation:

None noted except for the language that was intentionally placed.

Kristina


*Shamrock*Write On!*Shamrock*
9
9
Review by Kristina ~
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I found your story Detecting the Detective on the Detective Genre page and really enjoyed reading it. I hope you find this feedback useful.

*Check2* Overall Impression:
I felt that it was extremely interesting and it captivated my interest from the very beginning. I really liked your introduction of the Detective. That was very good. It was vey well written. I was very fascinated by the technique that you did by combining an old fashioned cop investigating with a Sci-fi setting. It is a type of story that I have never read before.


*Check2* Plot:
The plot is strong and easy to follow.


*Check2* Style and Voice:
The style and tone of the story is set very well by the thoughts and actions of the detective


*Check2* Scene/Setting:
Very good


*Check2* Characters:

Very good and strong. Description vivid


*Check2* Dialog:

Excellent


*Check2* Grammar and Mechanics:

No errors noted


*Check2* Suggestions:
None.


Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!


*Heart* *Books4* *Heart*




10
10
Review of The broken Doll  
Review by Kristina ~
Rated: E | (4.0)
I found your story on the Romance Genre page. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

*Check2* Overall Impression:

This story was very well written. It drew me in right away and captivated my interest till the end.


*Check2* Plot:

Very strong and interesting.


*Check2* Style and Voice:

Good


*Check2* Scene/Setting:

Good


*Check2* Characters:

Good


*Check2* Dialog:

Very good


*Check2* Grammar and Mechanics:

Very good


*Check2* Suggestions:

None


Thank you for sharing your story. Write On!


*Heart* *Books4* *Heart*




11
11
Review of The shelter  
Review by Kristina ~
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi,
I am Kristina and I came across your story The Shelter in the Plug Column. First I want to say; I hope there is more of this story coming. It was very well written, and kept me wanting to more and what happened to Sam during the night in the shelter.

I also loved the touch of the English slang. My mother-in-law was from England, and it has been awhile since I've heard it.

Keep up the good work,
Happy Writing,
Kristina
12
12
Review of Turkey, Anyone?  
Review by Kristina ~
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, I loved it. I have been there. Only, think I would have run down to Taco Bell, as in the past.
Kristina
13
13
Review of Lest We Forget  
Review by Kristina ~
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Winnie,
This a fantastic, heart warming poem. It expressed my feelings exactly.
Thank you for sharing,
Kristina
14
14
Review by Kristina ~
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Harry, I just wanted to say that I thought your poem was well written. Though I don't agree with many of your points illustrated, I will defend your right to have them. I find fault on both sides and it is a sad situation that I see our country in. I don't see one side having more rights than the other.
Kristina
15
15
Review by Kristina ~
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, I wanted to tell you that I could feel the feelings that were behind your words. It is a lovely poem. I lost my husband two years ago. Thank you,
Kristina
16
16
Review by Kristina ~
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi, This very well done and hilarious. I read them all. I am a Republican, but you actually hit the nail on the head. *Laugh*
Kristina
17
17
Review of Dragon Catchers  
Review by Kristina ~
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello! Ann, I am Kristina and I found your story under Newest Statics.

Overall: I absolutely loved this story. I thought it was well paced and kept my interest from start to finish.


Plot: I thought was well done and easy to follow.


Style/Tone: Very well done.


Scene/Setting: It was easy for me visualize and see what was happening. I could easily see the dragon attacking the small spaceship.


Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation: Grammar, spelling and punctuation well done. The only suggestion that I have here is that when you are dealing with numbers—write them out. Instead of a 50-foot dragon--write fifty-foot dragon. It helps the sentence flow smoother.


Characters: Maybe just a bit more of their backgrounds and their relationship and emotion.


Dialog: Very good and believable.


Suggestions: Other than what I have already give absolutely none—but to take your story to a longer version.


Please note that I am only trying to offer a readers perspective and you are free to ignore my opinions and suggestions, but I hope they help.





18
18
Review of Riley  
Review by Kristina ~
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, I loved your story. The hook was great. It drew me in right away. I loved how you ended it basically the same way that you started it and put action and emotion in between. I only saw a couple errors (grammatical) In the third paragraph and when using numerals; write them out.

Great work!
Happy Writing
Kristina
19
19
Review by Kristina ~
Rated: E | (5.0)
You hit the nail on the head, and I totally agree.

Kristina
20
20
Review by Kristina ~
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
HI Harry,
I enjoyed your poem about Helen Keller very much. Over the years I have heard many stories about her life and diary. I did not see any mistakes and the flow was very nice. Good work!! The subject matter was very moving.

Keep writing...

Kristina
21
21
Review by Kristina ~
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Eric,
I wanted to say that I enjoyed your prologue very much. I thought that it was very well written. I had no difficulty, feeling, seeing or hear what Alastair felt, saw and heard. Also, there were no errors that I could see. I am looking forward to reading more of this novel.

Kristina
22
22
Review by Kristina ~
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Please take what is useful to you and discard the rest:


*Crown**Crown**Crown**Crown*

I absolutely loved this story. Have I been there, seen that Oh yes!
I want you to know that I laughed all the way through.

What I Liked

I loved the comparison between Omar and Adolf. You could not have picked any better people.

*Crown**Crown**Crown**Crown*


Suggestions

I have none, except with the word re tile? Make it re-tile.

*Crown**Crown**Crown**Crown*

Parting Comments


I absolutely loved this story. How I could envision it. I hope to be able to read more of your work.
Just a question though, are you from England?

Please continue to Write On!

Kristina
23
23
Review of Jennifer  
Review by Kristina ~
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Please take what is useful to you and discard the rest:


*Crown**Crown**Crown**Crown*


What I Liked


Hi Nathan, I want you to know that I think you have a great premise. This story has good potential for becoming a longer version. I can see where might go and could go, which ever direction you choose.

*Crown**Crown**Crown**Crown*


Suggestions


However, I do have a few suggestions:

Punctuation - Make sure that your punctuation is correct. I know that can one of the most difficult tasks of writing.
For instance you wrote:
"The looks delicious." I said.

write: "The meal looks delicious, honey," I said/c} When adding a dialog tag, unless it ends with a ? or a ! place a comma before the last quotation mark. The tag it self will start with a small letter unless it is a proper noun or pronoun. If I were to change I to He or say Tom, I would change I to he or Tom.

Sentence structure - Make sure that flow evenly and smoothly. Read or record your story and listen to it. Be sure the reader knows when one sentence ends and another begins. This will add more suspense.

For instance you wrote:

I reached over and grabbed the salt, as I strode back to my chair I looked at the wall and all the pictures covering it. I wasn't in any of them, I guess I always got stuck taking them, next time I'll make sure I get in it.

{c:redWrite: I reached over and grabbed the salt. (Introductory adverbial clause)As I strode back to my chair, (always use a comma) I noticed the pictures covering it. I saw I wasn't in any of them. I guess I always got stuck taking them. Next time, (introductory sentence- setting the stage so to speak)I'll make sure I get inone.


These just a couple of examples. I know of an awesome class or two that may help you. Go to {New Horizons Academy
here on WDC. They a wide variety of classes. I took the Comma Sense class three times - It is awesome.

Flesh out your characters more. What does look like, is he weird looking, an alien, what kind of work does he do that was piled up in the corner, Is he a psycho, was that house that he used to live in with his girlfriend? Just some questions.


*Crown**Crown**Crown**Crown*

Parting Comments


Do not give up on this story, it has so much potential




24
24
Review by Kristina ~
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Cherokee, *Smile*

Your story came across on my updates and I very much enjoyed reading it. I hope you develop this into a longer story. It is excellent! The setting was very well described and the characters well developed, and it kept my interest from the start to the end. I still want to know about the door. There were no grammatical errors that I noticed. I thought your story was very well written. I would like to see more of it.
Good work *Smile*

Write On! *Smile*

Kristina

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
25
25
Review of Doubt  
Review by Kristina ~
Rated: E | (5.0)
This absolutely beautiful. It is very moving and I can feel the pain come through. Very well written.

Kristina

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