|Hello! I found your story on The Review Requests Page. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.
It was very easy for me relate to this story, being from Southern California. I understand about the "crowd group" (gangs) being over abundant here. Though they are everywhere, So. Calif. has an over abundance. It is not uncommon for knifings and gun shot wounds to happen every week. I nicked named it the local Reunion of The Knife and Gun Club." when I worked as a surgical nurse in the county hospital. One learns quickly who is safe to trust and those to stay away from.
You presented your plot ( events) very nice and they were quite organized as they unfolded to build interest.
Style and Voice:
The tone of voice was very good and the story pace was excellent. You started out in a slow pace and quickened when the boy was thrown from the car; then slowed it down again at towards the end as the story resolved itself.
Excellent! It very easy for me to visualize where things were happening.
Well developed, easy to relate to and realistic.
There was none, however, none was needed.
Grammar and Mechanics:
No errors noted
Perhaps sometime, you could plug in some fictional names and build a longer piece.
This story has merit.
Thank you for sharing your story. Write on!