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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/kenwebb
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92 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of The Ordeal  
Review by Rune Cutter
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello,

This was an interesting read, though a bit different from what I normally like, I still enjoyed the read. I saw only one thing, "It gleamed matte black" this seems to be a conflict because matte normally doesn't gleam, but it's a fantasy story or more importantly your story, so you may write it as you wish.

I saw no grammar or spelling issues but I didn't focus on that so much as readability, and it reads well. Your world building is solid and I didn't see any contradictions other than the one noted above.

This has a well defined beginning, middle and end. Though it is out of my genres I would still read on, which is not an easy thing for me.

I rather liked the description of the night-crawlers, I think they can be fleshed out a bit more in a larger document but they're well done here.

I can see why you got your win for Fantastic Fantasy, well earned indeed.

I'm going to give you top marks, but give consideration to adding a couple of thousand words, it'll only get better.

This is just my opinion of course and other readers may see thing differently

Be Well

KW


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2
2
Review by Rune Cutter
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello Wsucram,

I like the idea of this, but it needs some work. There are some grammar and continuity errors. Still the premise is solid but it deserves about another 1000 words or so. Spend some time with it and it'll be very scary.

This is just my opinion of course and other readers may see thing differently

Be Well

KW


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3
3
Review by Rune Cutter
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello Blue,

I liked the idea of this very much, but it doesn't look like it has had a proper edit, there many grammar mistakes and typos. I would wager that you wrote this directly. Still I enjoyed the idea, with some work you could turn this into something truly outstanding and very frightening.

Consider getting Grammarly, it's a great program and can help a lot.

Here are the typo/grammar issues I noted, but there are more.

much like Abe Abe wasn’t perfect - Abe used twice
men Georgia fawn over - fawned?
a smile spreaded to his face - spread?
room, was bottles filled - were bottles filled
They looked to beautiful after words - They looked too beautiful for words

Again, I love the idea.

KW



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
4
Review of Depression  
Review by Rune Cutter
Rated: E | (5.0)
Lady Elf,

This is a great way to get a review, although I'm relatively new here also. I'm not sure how you found me specifically but I'm happy to do a review.

This is obviously a well thought out work, I say that because the rhyme and meter that you've displayed doesn't happen by accident. It requires thought and consideration. The emotions are well portrayed throughout. Outward desperation with a bit of hope building to the end. It appears that you incorporated desperation strongly at the beginning and then slowly strengthened hope toward at the end. Hope being the opposite of desperation and depression; it contrasts well. It also leaves the reader with hope and faith foremost. You are to be lauded for this because emotive poetry is not easy to do.

While this work is a bit long compared to other submission on Writing.com, I don't find that it distracts and is perfect for the subject as it allows you to build and reveal.

I'm not sure how to rate the structure, the line numbers vary from verse to verse which reads but does not feel clumsy.

Honestly in my modest opinion it is near perfect. I've never said that about anything I've reviewed. Other raters will see things differently, but because you enticed an emotional response from me I can't give you anything other than a 5 and a gift of points.

Be well and I hope to see more writing from you.

Ken

PS - You can send a link of your work by typing {bitem: the item# of your submission} I'm attaching an example
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#2102203 by Not Available.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review by Rune Cutter
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Mari,

This is well written and thought out, I liked the tie-in between 2nd and 6th verse.

Over-all I liked the structure which has defined beginning, middle and end.

Writing of this sort does not happen by accident it requires either natural ability or refined skill.

For absolute top marks improve the meter/syllable count, but well done.

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
6
6
Review of For The Birds  
Review by Rune Cutter
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Than,

This is very, very good. It has a peaceful and realistic feel that is played just right, not over romantic just very real.

I liked the intro before we know Penelope is deaf, I like the sacrifice with real reference like the phone bill. My wife and I went through a point where the only luxury we had was a 5 dollar pizza on Saturday nights, but it was always the best because it was shared.

There are some points that need your attention -

she rested his head against his - who is resting there head where?
her smile big. - This is correct but it might be a good place for "lovely"
He didn’t mind this time. - I didn't catch the reference for this, did he miss something earlier?

I've going to give you a 4.5 because this spoke to me and made me feel happy and contented reading it. Not an easy thing to do to me.

Be well, and please keep writing; the world will be better for your efforts.

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
Review of Hot and Spicy  
Review by Rune Cutter
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Jaya,

This has a rather nice feel to it, some of the rhymes feel a bit forced but the central idea is good, I liked the expanding meter which you did smoothly. When finding rhyme sometimes it's better to get your thoughts down and then rhyme from the bottom up. I'm not sure why that works for some people but it does.

My best

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Review of I Can Say It...  
Review by Rune Cutter
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
FiveSixer,

Well done and smoothly, and while I don't know precisely what you were saying I enjoyed the way its written. I wouldn't change a thing about this. It reads as freestyle but there is something about your word choices that gives it meter, it's without rhyme that I saw but when I had finished reading it I was surprised to see no line ending rhyme. It's really good, but I have the sneaking suspicion that you got in the last word.

Be Well

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
9
Review of Hidden:  
Review by Rune Cutter
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Thomas,

This is well written and I enjoyed reading it. The final line while correct to the them and emotively fitting was a bit clunky to me, if you deleted "Everything is" it would smooth things out considerably, but it is your work and I would still think of it as well done as is.

Highly emotive and well done, well done indeed.

Only my opinion and perspective others may vary.

Be Well and my best.

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
Review by Rune Cutter
Rated: E | (3.5)
Miz,

This is a promising opening. It needs some punctuation and structure help though. I would guess that you wrote this without going back to edit. The spelling is correct but the thoughts are a bit jumbled. You may intend that because of the nature of this submission. You break down the fourth wall between the reader and the author, which I'm undecided on but it leads to some confusion in perspective, the central item is the use of "we" including or speaking directly to the reader.

Still this has a very good feel, with some work it could be great especially considering how short it is.

Just my observations other may see it differently.

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
11
Review by Rune Cutter
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Elfin,

This rather unexpected. I saw the note about your grandfather. It has a feel that only the 40s could produce and if not for the note I would have been stunned by this change of voice. Perfect for it's time period and perfect for the Navy.

Be Well

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
12
12
Review by Rune Cutter
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Jay,

Well done.

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
Review of Firelight  
Review by Rune Cutter
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Slow,

I liked this quite a bit, I like the rhythmic progression. Without defining lines it sets its rhythm without force, the meter is of course also solid. Your word choices are simple but correct.

Well done

Other readers may see things differently, but so what, I liked it.

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
14
Review of Some predictions  
Review by Rune Cutter
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello Rachelmhairi

I'm sorry, I just didn't follow this, though I tried very hard and reread several times. As such it is best that I do not comment beyond this.

Other readers will doubtless have a different view of your writing and I wish you the very best in your endeavors. I wish I could leave this unrated but Writing.com doesn't seem to allow me to do that. So, I will write it a 3 hoping to do no harm.

Be well

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
15
15
Review by Rune Cutter
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Tim,

I like this quite a bit, being a sportsman of a different stripe I understand setting aside a technique that is productive for one that is more challenging. It's interesting to see a poem that actually teaches, while the emotive seems low it's uniqueness overcomes that. The meter is a bit choppy and some of the rhymes seem overly forced, but again it's originality overcomes all of that.

Well done.

These are of course my views and perspectives. Others may see things differently. I salute your valor.

Be Well

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
16
16
Review by Rune Cutter
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Kenzie,

This is well written and nothing caught my eye as far as typos, grammar or spelling goes; I find I disagree with your point more than I would have thought.

If studying literature, and reading the same is important to a writer then being mentored or critiqued by a more experienced writer is equally important. Consider, while you speak or write against it, you still submit for consideration here on Writing.com. That is of course probably an overstatement, but I'll stand on it.

Occasionally, you run into the critic who is out of their depth but those are apparent because they are heavy handed and tell you what to do instead of noting thing for your attention.

It is a simple fact that the reader will not see things the way the writer does, so it important to play to common ground.

Over-all, despite my difference I would call this a success, it's well thought out and has a solid structure with logical support, versus a lecture. Reconsider the numerous "I" and self references they make the work feel a bit haughty to me, as if you're saying "look at me", which I know was not your intent.

These are of course only my perspectives and I am but newly come to Writing.com, though not to writing.

Be well and I wish you the best in your endeavors.

Ken



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17
17
Review of Vision  
Review by Rune Cutter
Rated: E | (4.0)
Pony,

I enjoyed this, there was a rhyme to it that I can't find when I look for it. The meter is good. The thoughts and images are vivid. I can close my eyes and see the sunlight lit rain falling on the tree. Very, very good imagery.

These are only my opinions other readers may see things differently.

Be well

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
18
18
Review by Rune Cutter
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Joy,

The concept of this story is good, but it needs a bit of polish. As I read along I couldn't help but note that the writing seemed rushed especially form someone with as much recognition as you have. Give this a scrub for structure, syntax and punctuation. It's good but it will only get better with attention.

Just my opinion and observations other readers may feel differently.

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
19
19
Review of ZZYZX Rd.  
Review by Rune Cutter
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello Revelry,

I didn't follow this, sorry. I'm not wrapped up in rhythm and rhyme and freeform is cool, I saw the jumble but honestly it's overwhelming to me as the reader. I don't think there is a need for changing the wordage but some commas, and periods would help quite a bit. I'd rather not rate this as I may have missed the point, but Writing.com doesn't give me that option.

As always these are simply my observations and I wish you the best.

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
20
20
Review of My Curse  
Review by Rune Cutter
Rated: E | (4.0)
Natalia,

Read "Black Moon Monday" here on Writing.com, I just reviewed it and it is quite the contrast to this. I am a insomniac too, so I understand what you mean and everything you haven't said about it. Well done

As always these are just my views and others may differ

Be well and sleep well

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
21
21
Review of Black Monday Moon  
Review by Rune Cutter
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Fivesixer,

You need to lay off the coffee for a while.
The word that comes to mind after reading this is frantic, and while I am an insomniac too, thank God it's not like this for me. Set this to "The Windmills of my mind" and you could give people a hear attack. I mean; Damn!!

Still I give this high marks, but Damn!

Ken



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
22
22
Review of Sea Sex By Design  
Review by Rune Cutter
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hmmm. Simple and descriptive without being vulgarly phrased, the allusions are quite different, the meter is a bit difficult to feel but it is short and concise which has it's own merits.

These are of course just my opinions and others may see things differently.

Be Well

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
23
23
Review by Rune Cutter
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Lisa,

This is well done and has a fluidity and fluency that is quite appealing, I'm not sure you caught evil but I would say that you did catch baleful.

These are of course just my opinions and others may see things differently.

Be Well

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
24
24
Review by Rune Cutter
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello Saloni,

This has a certain feel to it that is pleasant, There is a rhyme that feels for the most part natural and well said, chocolate and tears is of course a very vivid image and well thought out.

These are of course just my opinions and others may see things differently.

Be Well

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
25
25
Review of I Remember  
Review by Rune Cutter
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Cubboo! Ah hah we meet again!

This is of course masterful, and there is not a lot that I can say, I'd shop this one around to paying sights, it's that good.

The meter can be cleaned up a bit I think but the story is so good that you don't have too.

These are of course just my opinions and others may see things differently.

Be Well

Ken


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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