"There are no happy endings in rock and roll. . ."
I'd like to think that more grounded musicians can live to a ripe old age and die peacefully in their sleep. However, even older musicians have to pay the piper for the overindulgent lifestyles of their youth. I like this piece you've written. It's straight forward and tells an all too familiar story.
By the way, have you ever heard of Kevin Gilbert? His story just begs to be written.
Blessings to you in accomplishing your goals. If #3 is a little too ambitious, then celebrate anyway if you publish one story. It's one more than most of us have done. :) I like your writing mentor goal, that's a great idea.
I like Mike, he's a good hearted person. He's also socially awkward and he stutters. It was a big stretch for him to allow Jess into his apartment and his life for a short moment. People can be messy and complicated; life's easier if you keep to yourself; however, it gets lonely.
I like the bittersweet way you conveyed this message in your story.
Please let me know when you post or publish the rest of the story. I could completely picture each character and the setting as I read it. Sal and Pops are very sympathetic characters; I've already grown fond of them from reading this short passage. Great writing!
Quite appropo. I'm turning 50 (gulp!) tomorrow. I remember as a kid I couldn't wait to be a teenager, then as a teenager, I couldn't wait to be twenty. I didn't want to be thirty (long story) and I embraced my forties. Now, I want time to slow down.
Every line of this poem, wonderful! Thanks so much for writing this.
This is a wonderful essay! I think a lot of us began writing because our present circumstances are less than ideal. As a teen, I was a social outcast who never seemed to fit in anywhere, so, I created my ideal world through writing.
You have written a nice poem. I'm not a poet and I admire people who can compose them. I noticed at least one misspelling (in the last sentence, "too" when it should be "to."). I enjoyed reading it and look forward to seeing what else you're going to post.
Well, that certainly didn't end the way I thought it would! Moral of the "story": Don't mess with Miss Henrietta. The opening stanza sets the tone, however, I quickly forgot as I continued reading. This is very well written and I really enjoyed reading it.
I've been here many so times before, calling out to Him, yet, he seems silent. Also, at times I wonder if I'm even worthy to pray to such a God. Only after the passage of time do I realize He hears
me and answers. Thanks so much for writing this.
I never learned to sew, but, I have a great appreciation for it. I hope it doesn't become a lost art. I liked this piece you wrote recalling your mother's sewing group and your sewing endeavors. I saw some minor punctuation issues, but, all in all, this is a nice piece of prose and I enjoyed reading it.
Wow! Dark stuff. I've cried over a broken relationship and wished the pain would go away more times than I'd like to remember. Your poem is well written and paints a vivid picture; it makes me think of the Shakespearean witches in Macbeth. Thanks for writing it.
Heartbreaking poem. I really like how you set it in the 1910's. It's an old story and it keeps repeating it self through the times, unfortunately. The last sentence says it all: "You don't know what you've got until it's gone." Thank you for writing this.
Oh my goodness! How cute is this? That was my first thought; of course you were mortified. I wish my embarrassing moments were as cute as your "sweetheart incident." This essay is well written and I found myself drawn in to it. It has a lovely humorous tone and I enjoyed reading it.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience. Your essay is well written and poignant. The most shameful part of my bullying experience is that I made fun of others I deemed more socially retarded. I cringe each time I remember that and wished I could go back and undo what I did. I have had contact with most of the people who bullied me. We have a friendly relationship now, but, I haven't forgotten the torment they inflicted; I probably never will. But, thankfully, we're all older and wiser.
Poor Jack. He knew his old man was mean; little did he know his mother was the spawn of Satan. This story really drew me in and made me wonder what was going to happen next. When she asked him for help burying his dad in the backyard, I knew it was not going to end well for Jack. She probably killed his sister, too. This is the stuff that gives me nightmares: betrayal at the hands of one who's supposed to love you. Good story!
I agree. Less is more. I remember a songwriter once said (something to the effect of) sometimes paragraphs can be better said as one word. We all crave acceptance on our terms. However, that isn't always possible. This short poem is a powerful way to say it. Thanks for writing this.
All the time (to answer your first stanza question)! Our lives would be so much easier if we thought of others first before ourselves, but, I suppose, that's the rub. This poem is a wonderful reminder of that and what Christmas is really about. Thanks so much for writing this.
LOL, indeed you do, Sir Trevor! I have owned cats and dogs at different times and cats are definitely "pushier" than dogs. They probably have some grand plan to take over the world. I like this story, it's easy to read and concise. I saw a few minor punctuation issues like missing commas, but, I'm from the old school of punctuation rules. Cute story.
This is a most interesting poem. The fourth stanza is my favorite. The message I got is if we don't get it together, we will be under the feet of some "neo-"aristocracy and at their mercy. If you don't learn from history, you're doomed to repeat it.
I do have a question about the wording of the first sentence of the third stanza, "Po white, trash white, lookin' down". It seems that "white" is in there one time too many; but, you may have intentionally written it like that. If it's taken out, it seems to me the flow is better.
I have always had a fondness for haiku. This is a most lovely, subtle piece and so easy to visualize. Most times fewer words can convey so much! Thanks so much for writing these beautiful words.
I encounter homeless people everyday. Some days I help out, other days not. Most times, I judge, sometimes unfairly. We were all put on this earth to help each other out; we need to always be mindful of that. Your story is well written and convicting. Thanks for writing it.
Now, you have me looking at my plants wondering what the heck they're thinking now (LOL)! I really liked the way The Plant feels pity for Him and wants better things for Him. He takes care of The Plant, which I suppose gives Him hope. Sometimes, when things aren't going right for us, having something to care for really takes our mind off how bleak things may seem; well, to me anyway. It's a really sweet personification and I enjoyed this story.
Isn't this just the stuff life is made of?? When things seem hopeless, something happens to remind us that life can be wonderful. This is a nice short story; I could very easily visualize the setting thanks to your descriptive writing. There are some punctuation issues, but overall, it is a good story and I enjoyed reading it.
I really like this piece. I felt sympathy for the main character; often times, I've felt like my siblings needs were more important than mine. I also liked the main character hearing Vater Unser and taking it as an omen to not descend the rickety staircase and dad taking a tumble the next day, injuring himself. The only thing I saw wrong was the misspelling of "Lo" in Lo and behold. Good story!
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