Impressions:Another good offering for the flash fiction folder.
Favorites:I really like the way you are able to pull in all together in so few words and make a good read out of it. I had a clear vision of this young woman.
Suggestions:I saw no errors in grammar, spelling, or punctuation. The story flowed nicely and moved right along.
SummaryThis is proving to be a delightful time spent foraging in your port. I look forward to the next offering. Lin
Hi Tehanu:Welcome to Writing.com. I can see by my first reading choice tht you are a good addition to this community.
Impressions:I enjoyed reading this story about a random act of kindness. You caught my attention straight off and you never lost it.
Favorites:
“I want to give you a present,” Cammy said. “’Cause I think you need one.” With her big serious eyes, Cammy put her hand in her mom’s. I thought the daughter would find it but I was surprised at how and where she found it.
Suggestions:I did not notice any errors in spelling, grammar, punctuation. My only suggestion would be a bit more physical description of the main characters.
Summaryou have done a good job of setting out the story. It was easy to imagine the emotional makeup of the charecters and chaos of that office. You clearly showed the effects of the random act of kindness fulfilling the criteria for the contest. I was smiling at the end of the story.
Closing:It was a pleasure to be introduced to your port and I look forward to reading my next item. Keep writing. Lin
Jeanie: As usual you are putting together wonderful items. This is a great place to come and find things to read and review, or to just get some new images. You support so many people here and are willing to add more links. I think it is a terrific idea for helping out the community as well. Nicely done. Lin
Hi Super Sleuth: You have done a very good job of relating how bad that ice storm was and the affect on you and your family.
The story flowed well and moved right along. I could so relate to the desire to be on-line and your inability to write by hand.
Having lived for quite a while in a rural area that was not only given to power failures but incredible ice storms, I can appreciate the beauty of an ice storm at the same time I recall the devastation it wrecks.
Thanks for a good write and a few moments of solid memory of what tricks nature can play when she is displaying all her power.
Keep writing as it is a pleasure to read your work. Lin
Hi Super Sleuth: I really enjoyed reading this poe, I am very interesting in the Civil War and so I was drawn to the title of this poem.
You have done a wonderful job of capturing futility and humility. Very graphic imagery that suits the piece. I had no difficulty in settling into the rhythmn of the piece and it flowed seamlessly. Nicely done. I am no expert on poetry but I thought this was perfect as it is. Lin
Hi Laramie Elon: This was a really beautiful poem that was easy to settle into reading. It flows smoothly through out and the images evoked are clear.
I found it easy to relate to the theme of the poem as I lost a sister. However, anyone could read your words and truly feel your pain. Well done and a fitting tribute. Please keep writing as I am enjoying your words. Lin
Hi Laramie Elon: I enjoyed reading this poem in your port. You had me thinking one way and threw me the other. Well done.
I had no trouble settling into the rhythm of the poem. It all flowed smoothly and you evoked a lot of the senses. How often we think something is good and in fact our instincts know it for exactly what it is. Thanks for a good read. Keep writing. Lin
Well done W.D. Wilcox: I wish I had had that to sing as a kid as I do not think I will get away with singing it as an adult. Or maybe I will - I have been known to do some strange things. This was a good take-off of "Jingle Bells" throwing another traditional song in to the best of comedy. Kept 'em coming.
This was a terrific intro to who you are. I throughly enjoyed reading it. There are a few typos that resulted in misspellings but overall, it is terrific. I love your enthusiasm and optimism. Well done. Thanks so much for sharing all this info. Happy New Year and stay happy. Lin
Hi Ethereal Angel: I have read all bvut the last entry here and I decided to pause now, and let you know how very much I am enjoying this story.
Your cahracters are strong and well fleshed out. The story flows well and moves along nicely. It never bogs down anywhere. We are captured from the start and I, for one had to keep reading. The dialogue is good and completely believeable.
I look forward to reading the last entry and hope that there will be more soon. Keep creating. Lin
Impressions:Having received many of these Christmas letters, I found yours a real hoot.
Favorites:
Alas, there’s not one, special fellow in my life these days. But don’t fret, Aunt Ida, it’s just a case of “so many men, so little time.” There are loads of nice DWCPMs out there, not to mention DWJPMs and SWPPMs, just dying to commit to a twice-divorced, 46-year-old woman with teenagers, rosacea and a great sense of humor. I’m sure I’ll be hearing those old wedding bells again just as soon as I find time in my hectic schedule for the honeymoon. In the mean time, if anybody knows of anyone acceptable (a pulse and a few brain waves will do just fine) please have him call me at 856-555-HELP. Not desparate at all.
Suggestions:I saw no errors in grammar, spelling, or punctuation. Nicely done.
Summary:This letter is a nice piece of humorous writing that pokes fun at the serial Christmas letters we all get. It flows well and moves right along. The author has a good sense of humor which runs through the whole letter.
Closing:Thanks so much for a good laugh. I enjoyed reading this. Keep creating and Merry Christmas. Lin
Impressions:This is a good description of the author coping with pain and faith.
Favorites:
If I'm lucky, I will sleep
and dream a dream, my soul to keep.
Will it thunder, will it rain,
Will I feast again on pain,
Or will I dream that forever dream,
God please let me, I don't want to scream. I have known some moments like this.
Suggestions:My only suggestion would be to try to find some alternate words for rain and pain which are repeated several times. I have added two links that I find helpful.
Summary:The poem flowed well and moved along anicely. The author's description brings the reader good images and brings in the senses. You can feel hopelessness and coming out on the other end with faith.
Closing:Keep writing. I enjoyed reading this poem and hope to see you start to add to your port. Lin
Links:
Using the Right Word (E) Using the right word is necessary for precise, exact writing and imagery #665056 by Vivian
Hi Darkshadowdog: I have reviewed all of the poems in the folder and I wanted to take a minute to comment on the folder. I have enjoyed reading all three poems and I really hope to see you add more to this folder. You mention in your bio that you like to write poetry and I can see that you put some effort into it.
Again, welcome to Writing.com and please keep creating and posting. Thanks for an enjoyable read. Lin
Impressions:Thanks so much for sharing this with us all. I found truly inspirational. I also see more motivation for where the poem I just read comes from.
Favorites:
So the answer to the question, “Why do I write”, is more than just “because I want to”, rather, it is “because I refuse to let any obstacle stand between me and my dreams." Good for you. You have taken tragedy that could easily cause someone to run and hide, and turned it into triumph.
Suggestions:I saw no errors ing rammar, spelling, or punctuation. The author has been editing. Nicely done. The writing speaks for itself - very well done.
Summary:I have enjoyed reading the motivations behind the author's writing. He has turned desire into action, in more than one aspect of his life. This flows well and moves along nicely. It never lost my interest.
Closing:Thanks so much for sharing this information about your life. It has inspired me and I appreciate that. Keep creating. Lin
Impressions:Thanks so much for sharing what most have devastating to you. I am so pleased for you that you have such wonderful memoires.
Favorites:
High days, holidays, time flew fast, shared moments, joys, tears, mirth;
Plymouth, memories flicker past, we grew, loved, wed, then gave birth.
Older, closer; how long did phone calls last? I know Betty'd understand;
I held her, as she died, quite unplanned; it was my turn to hold her hand. I have two sisters and the same sort of relationship. I can only hope that should the same thing happen, I can be there for them.
Suggestions:I saw no errors in grammar, spelling, or punctuation. I am no expert in form or technique but the emotions ring very true in these words.
Summary:The poem flowed well for me and I had no trouble settling into the reading.
The imagery is sound. I could clearly see what you described and definitely feel what that is like. While the subject ends sadly, there is the joy of having had that wonderful relationship.
As I read through all these entries, all i could think of was the love my parents shared. They wetn rhgouh something so similar that reading these entries has brought a number of those memories back. You are wonderful people. My prayers are with you both. Thank you for letting us all know what is happening and how you are coping. All my very best wishes. Lin
Impressions:I am part of WCACA and responding to your request for a review. I enjoyed reading this tribute to your great grandmother.
Favorites:
He said to her, "she will have to try,
it will take many tears and forever to cry,
but soon she'll let go of all wrong that she knew,
and no more will she be alone or feel blue" I liked the hope this affirms.
Suggestions:I think that you need to be consistent with your punctuation. If you go back over this line for line, you will see missing punctuation. Some stanzas do have correct punctuation.
2. She thanked the lord, for bringing her home - capital "l" on Lord.
3."there is someone - capital "t"
4.with the life that she's made - you could drop the word "with" and it will not hurt the line.
5.she will have to try - capital "s"
6.and no more will she be alone or feel blue - you could drop the word "and"
Summary:The poem flows fairly well and moves along nicely. Good images are created. Ther is sadness and joy and hope here.
Closing:I think that some careful editing ould help this poem to shine. I know you have done some editing already and it won't take much more to help tighten this up. Rember that suggestions are only suggestions and it is up to the author to decide what is best. Keep creating. Lin
Links:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #854056 by Not Available.
Impressions:I loved this view of the children of a storyteller having to deal with the stories being told.
Favorites:The title is in keeping with the story. I loved the connection.
Suggestions:I saw no errors in grammar, spelling or punctuation. Nicely done. May I suggest more of a physical description of the actual characters?
Summary:I do not think that many of stop to think about what happens to those who inspire our stories. I do let my kids know when they are apt to appear in a story, but since they are now grown, there is little blushing on their parts. This story flowed well and moved along nicely. Good, believable dialogue and the situation was easy to imagine. It was an original idea and well presented.
Closing:Keep creating. Is your mom really a writer as well? Thanks so much for sharing this. I will be back. Lin
Impressions:What a wonderful way to send a greeting to friends here at Writing.com.
Favorites:
My favorite is the third one but it is very hard to choose.
Suggestions:None. I saw no errors anywhere. Nicely done.
Summary:There is something for everyone here. Come in and have a look. I am sure you will be pleased. There are seven c-notes to pick from. The page is a visual delight. A wonderful effort. Well done! Lin
Impressions:I found this a very easy to believe story about understanding true faith.
Favorites:
Hours later, she was still in bed. She wanted to shout, to sing, to somehow share this incomparable joy and relief that now filled her. But, after all, it was late at night, and her household was asleep. So she did none of those things, and smiled quietly.
But the angels sang. Nicely done.
Suggestions:A few errors.
1."And now, we have a special from Mandy. special what?
2. at began to play - and began.
Summary:The story flows well and moves along nicely. I found it easy to believe, as I sure others will. Nicely done.
Closing:Correction of the few errors found would be good. Thanks for sharing this. Lin
Impressions:I found this poem both thoughtful and soothing. I love the ever-constant sea and often stand in the waves at the shoreline, thinking. Your poem caught the feelings of those moments.
Favorites:It was hard to pick a favorite as them flowed togeather so well, but I think these two stanzas:
The cold water then caressed her feet.
She looked down, curiously,
at how the waves seemed pacified there,
calm, smooth and peacefully.
Maybe they came to her, knowing
that no matter how they fared,
she was there, watching over them...
She was there, and cared.
I could relate to this. Nicely done.
Suggestions:The author has done some editing previously. At this point, I saw no errors in grammar, spelling, or puctuation. Again, nicely done.
Summary:I loved the way this poem made me feel It flowed well and moved along nicely. The images evoked were excellant and it taps quite alot of emotion. It was easy to settle into the rhythmn of the poem and easy to place myself into it.
Closing:Thanks so much for sharing this beautiful poem, Kittiara. I will be adding it to my favorites. Keep creating. It is always a pleasure to read your work. Lin
Impressions:Your port is so full of wonderful looking titles that it is hard to choose. Eventually I will read them all. This story had great impact.
Favorites:
“I’ll be back soon,” I said as I headed back for my car, weaving through the repetitive rows of markers. I gently dragged my palms over each marble slab, the coolness from the stone reminding me this was my reality now and not some horrible nightmare I would wake from soon. Daniel Alvin Montgomery; Sharon Michelle Dowell; Carol Ann Paige Larson… I know what this feels like. I have done something similar.
Suggestions:I have no suggestions. The author has been editing since this was first published. There were no errors, in grammar, spelling, or punctuation.
Summary:The story flows well and moves along smoothly. The author does a very good job of putting us into her setting and pulling us into the character's grief. She ahs really caught the feel of a large cemetary. I always find myself reading headstones. Wondering about those people.
Closing:Thanks so much for sharing this story. Well done. It deserves the awardicon. Keep writing. Lin
Impressions:This is my night for reading good comedy. I found this in the Comedy newsletter and throughly enjoyed read it. I wonder how many great Western epics were really abotu the town "tart?"
Favorites:
The men in town were mad – their anger off the chart.
A posse formed, their mission clear to all from the start –
to maybe recover the money, possibly even to kill Bart…
but they simply must get back their town’s only tart! Perfect ending.
Suggestions:Nicely done! not an error to be seen.
SummaryThe poem flowed well and moved along nicely. The rhythme scheme was easy to settle into. Good visuals were created. An entire Western played out in just a few stanzas.
Closing:This was an amusing read. thanks for sharing it. Keep creating. Lin
Impressions:This was a funny poem about the Perfect Oompha Loompa.
Favorites:
The perfect Oompa Loompa!
Resides beneath my bed.
Sometimes he gets so cranky,
He thumps me on the head. I had one of those only he was my older brother.
Suggestions:None. There were no spelling, grammar, or punctuation errors. The rhythm scheme was easy to settle into.
SummaryI enjoyed this as it made me laugh. I love Oompa Loompas so reading that someone else has one was good. The poem flows well and mvoes right along. I think it is a good poem for children and adults to read togeather as they could have fun with it.
Closing:Nicely done, Gina. Good use of the prompt. Keep creating. Lin
Impressions:This was a good story that left my spine tingling at the end.
Favorites:
“Jim, you gotta see this!” she called to her husband. “There’s a calendar in here! From ’89!”
Just outside the front door was a low, low growl. That is the grabber -caught me again.
Suggestions:The story is well written and I have only one real suggestion: I think this could be reworded or have additonal words added for clarification; It had been remodeled after what the previous owners had claimed to be “juvenile delinquents gone out of control” and had all the charm of a small southern town. “juvenile delinquents gone out of control” caused extensive damage and now had all the charm of a small... I just added a few words.
Summary:This story flowed well and moved right along. Good use of dialogue and description. i had no porblem imaging the story as it unfolded. There was tension building nicely throughout. Just when you think the story is settled, the author drags you back in.
Closing:Nicely done. Thanks for a good read. Keep writing. Lin
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