What a sad story. Is it true? Possibly. I know it rings true for many mothers who try their very best to not be go heads to heads with others, including their own. In some respect, many children respect their parents for not fighting with them, but in this case I can see this child wishing she had been parented more. But, in all respect to you, when mothers or fathers do argue or put down strict rules, they are treated the same.
This is a god story and very well written. I hope to see much more of your work and my apologies for sounding like Dear Abby.
A very well written, growing up story for a little child. I like the way you had mama, then papa help with her understanding of why Buttons was not there any longer. And I loved the ending of her supplementing with a puppy.
Well done. I did not see any grammatical errors and did not go back to double check. Keep up the great writing!
This is a wonderful story. No wonder you won. It is written very well and I saw no grammatical errors. I had a suspicion Tyree was Baltazar but still was not sure.
The over all story flowed well.
What I liked the most: Where his mate licks his ear and he enjoys it even though it is painful and enjoyable at the same time. And the last three lines : A wry grin spreads across the face known as Tyree.
" I know this for certain; for I am Baltazar
With that, he turns and moves off through the treed, never to be seen again.
I think this is a beautiful poem honoring Robyn Williams. The only comment I have is you used "tears streaming down my face, twice and I felt it is repetitive. Other than that , you should be very proud of what you wrote.
This is a good story. What I liked was the honesty of Patrick feeling alone on the bus and getting home. I loved him releasing the sign pinned to his tie.
Michael, I am sorry to say, may have received a spanking, but not the humility that Patrick had to go through.
It doesn't say whether the Nun was mad about the shoving or the fact it was over a stupid toy or both. Probably both.
Anyway, there really isn't anything I find fault with. I felt the young man tense as he listened to the other get hit with the paddle and the humiliation when she pin a sign on hims saying "Big Baby." How cruel.
Well written. Showed me many pictures as I read it.
What I liked about your story is the description of the place he lives in. I can picture it very well in my mind. I love the fact you mention writing.com on here.
I knew something was amiss when you started talking about the poster and I was right. I just didn't expect them to hang the poor boy to wait until they could eat him. I'm not sure how he was killed and it would have been nice if you eluded to that part, but the short story is still good.
I thought your story to be a good one. Similar to a Christmas Carol, but still different. What I liked the most is the way he didn't have to go through past, present and future. He knew what he needed to do to change. And it did change. He even got is girl back.
There are a few errors on grammar and spelling that should be checked. Mr. Buttons is said a few to many times. You can put he instead. If I were you, I would go back and carefully check every thing yo have written. Read it out loud, this will help you to catch any mistakes you have made. God job a writing though. Keep on writing as you will get better.
What a beautiful way of explaining Showering Acts of Joy. It truly is a wonderful poem that sows all how you feel about this group.
Keep up the great writing.
Oh how you have told the story and oh so clear. Some of us knowing what it was like when we had our young children. The cute ornaments they brought home from school to hang in and adorn the Christmas tree. Thank you for a beautiful reminder of what was.
not what I expected at all. Good job on this. You surprised me completely. Ii liked the way you had them being civil in the beginning, that is why the ending was such a surprise. Keep up the greatt surprises. lynda
Wow! I really like your poem. I like the way you talk about the hour glass on its back and the awful sting when it bites you. Good job Marci. You must have encountered one at some point. Now do one about the reclusive Brown Spider with the violin showing.
Hi Izzy. I really like your story. I thought the way you wove your character together was excellent. You the good and the bad working together with a great ending. The only thing I would change is the spacing on the sentences. I would add more space between as it makes it easier to read. Well done.
Very different, but I like it. One would wonder just what he is. Maybe you will let us know in the future of this story. I did not search for errors in grammar or punctuation. Afterall, it's my birthday to, so Happy Birthday Kai.
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