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62 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of The Creature  
Review by Madeleine
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a really sweet story, and really full of hope and makes me feel calm.
Thank you for sharing!
Keep Writing :)
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Review by Madeleine
Rated: E | (4.5)
I really love this poem, it's absolutely incredible.
I like that you have kept the lines short, giving the poem the disjointed feeling of thoughts flowing (you know how one thought flows into the next and the next and often thoughts end up unfinished)
I also love the repetition of "Focus" and how you have made it bold; I read it just as I would tell myself to Focus, so well done for achieving my inner voice!
I also love the imagery of being upside down on your bed. It's something very mundane and very relatable and you have ingeniously made it seem much more important and personal than it is. Every little moment in this poem is important, hence the stress on focusing on these moments, on each word on the page, on each moment in life.
Keep Writing :)
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Review of Interpretation  
Review by Madeleine
Rated: E | (4.5)
I really love this piece! It's really clever and doesn't give anything away! I love your use of dialogue as it is very natural, not forced or trying to ram in plot points or context to explain things (did that make sense??)
However, I personally found the last few lines to be a bit of an anticlimax. Perhaps you could build up to an explanation something like "And then it all began to click into place..." and you could always do a sequel or something or just lengthen it. I especially think the final line seems random and unrelated to the previous feelings and emotions; if you want to keep that as a final line, perhaps introduce some internal monologue to show her thought process to get to the conclusion that she wants to become a psychiatrist.
Sorry that rambled on.
Anyway... I really did love the piece, especially the first half for its comedy but also its creepiness (a great balance between the two, something which I often struggle to find)
Keep Writing :)
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Review of In The Rain  
Review by Madeleine
Rated: E | (4.5)
I really love this! It's romantic and funny without being cliche plus I really love the rain imagery especially near the beginning.
I do have a few pointers:
- in your opening paragraph, I think the sentence "Every time I turn my head..." should perhaps start as a new paragraph, as it doesn't flow very well following the previous sentence as it is
- the sentence "When I turned back to the woman, she still stood gaping at me, wide-eyed, in a state of shock, I guessed" seems very overcomplicated. You could make it much cleaner either by splitting them into lots of ickle sentences or cutting the "I guessed" at the end and adding in a "she WAS still stood"
Overall the piece is really amazing :) I especially love, having gone back and reread it since the beginning of this comment, the imagery of her blue eyes and how that begins and ends the piece. It really leaves me with strong imagery of the woman and of the man's mindset as well.
Keep Writing :)
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Review by Madeleine
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is an incredibly moving poem. The anaphora is, if a little in your face, emphatic and emotional. I love that you end-stopped the entirety of the second half of the poem, creating this disjointed feeling to an otherwise rhythmic poem. I interpreted this as physically alone, those abandoned or in poverty or in other terrible scenarios however I could also interpret this as emotional alone. I found it interesting that you used the pronoun "He"; specifying the gender of the child helped bring forward a stronger image of a child - a boy - alone in the dark, however also disrupted by train of thought as before that I had been visualising a girl. it in no way ruined the poem, but perhaps is is something to think about?
Keep Writing :)
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Review of The Bird  
Review by Madeleine
Rated: E | (4.5)
I really love this poem; it's incredibly calming and hopeful, helped by the genius rhyme scheme and regular stanzas. It's a beautiful story in itself, well thought up!
Keep Writing :)
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Review of Winter Feelings  
Review by Madeleine
Rated: E | (4.0)
I really love the poem and this is often how I feel about winter (although, then again, I do really love it). I love the half-rhyming scheme which gives it a lovely rhythm and enables me to easily read the poem without making it boring. I also really love the adjectives you use, especially "dark, dank weather"; "Dank" is a word a very rarely see used, so I especially loved that you didn't just stick to the stereotypical adjectives.
However, I do have a few suggestions:
In the final stanza (unfortunately, my least favourite section of the poem) I feel that you could have phrased things a bit better. "O winter will you last so long" might sound better as "Oh, winter why do you last so long?" or "Oh, winter, you who lasts so long,". Also, the final line "And spring would put on me it's kiss" might work better as "And spring would gift me it's sweet kiss" or something of those lines. Those lines feel clunky when compared to the elegance of the rest of the poem (perhaps you were so amazing for the rest that the mediocracy of the final lines stands out terribly)

Overall, a really wonderful poem with tones of humour and of sadness - a bittersweet mix which I really love! I could really put myself in the emotions of the speaker and really sympathised with them.
Keep Writing :)
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Review by Madeleine
Rated: E | (4.0)
I really like this poem, especially the rhyming scheme which mostly feels completely natural to the story. I also love the "silliness" of the second stanza, and I personally interpreted it quite creepily, like a nursery rhyme gone wrong kind of thing. I also really loved that each stanza wasn't quite the same, although there was still a familiarly to each of them due to the rhyming scheme, because it kept me as a reader on my toes, keeping me intrigued and thoughtful rather than just chanting out words.
Keep Writing :)
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Review of Mirror, Mirror  
Review by Madeleine
Rated: E | (3.5)
Wow this is really creepy!!! I really loved the twist at the end, the shift in perspective and the confusion of evil and goodness.
I do have a few suggestions; it's mostly nitpicky stuff so I'll give you a few things and then if you want me to go over alllll of it I can do that too (I don't want to impose on your writing too much)
The phrase near the beginning of your piece - "I was off in a jiffy" - doesn't sit with me too well. "Jiffy" seems too much a casual term and breaks the tension of the moment that you so excellently built in the lines previous. I suggest instead maybe try "I was out like a light" or "I was off in seconds" or something.
Also, in the line "but nothing, nobody was there" the grammar doesn't quite work. Try instead "I looked outside but nothing - nobody - was there" for a better flow for the reader.
Finally, the specificity of "for two minutes I just sat there frozen" again disrupted the flow of the piece. Perhaps just simplify it to "I sat there, frozen in fear" or something similar.
(I do have tonnes more suggestions so feel free to reply)

HOWEVER the piece in its entirety was amazing!
I really loved the repetition of "everything was alright" at the end, making the phrase seem really ominous and foreboding; clearly the horror will not end here, giving the reader a creepy feeling even when the piece itself is over.
I also really loved the continuous short paragraphs, often only one sentence long, in the second half of the piece. This was of course partly due to the imposing thoughts and speech but even beyond that, the way you structured the paragraphs was really disjointed (in a good way) and added to the horror of the scenario.

Overall a really amazing piece.
Keep writing :)
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Review of The Last  
Review by Madeleine
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is an absolutely incredible piece of poetry and fantasy! I love that you have maintained the rhyming scheme throughout so effortlessly; at no point did any of the rhymes feel awkward, as if you'd fitted a sentence in just for the rhyme, at all.
I have a few suggestions:
The one "They had hunted him fast, like an eagle a lark" The "eagle a lark" doesn't make much sense to me - perhaps you need a comma? Also, could you use other creatures, perhaps some that are more famous for being hunted to extinction? I appreciate the flying similarities and that eagles, especially in America, are symbols of power so I do see where you are coming from.
"began to search out" for me could be better phrased as "were searching about" but then again that means you are using the same rhyme for the word.
"They out numbered him well, and he gave all his might" "and" would be better as "but"
"would sure be his last" seems clunky but I can't think of another way of putting it so maybe just rethink it (sorry that probably wasn't a very helpful suggestion, was it?)
You don't need the comma between "tonight is the night" and the rest of the sentence. This is the case in a few sentences so maybe look over the sentences for incorrect comma placement.

Overall though, absolutely incredible! I love the story, it really felt like I was in some medieval realm, part of the action! I also love the rhythmical feeling of the poem which made it feel like a fable or nursery rhyme, only adding to that medieval effect.
Keep Writing :)
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Review of Good Gold!  
Review by Madeleine
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is genius! I really love the opening paragraph and how you question all the physics of the realm with your side notes. The story is so inventive and the way its written has really maximised the comedic effect!
I also really love the circular narrative; opening the story like that created tension for us and created an ominous feeling throughout the comedic exchange between the speaker and the leprechaun - whilst it was funny, we also knew from the opening that it wasn't going to end well.
However I found the sentence "I was contemplating whether I could take this leprecaun" a bit difficult to read. I initially read it as 'steal' the leprechaun rather than 'fight' the leprechaun, which was (obviously, just a bit) confusing. That could just have been my weird brain though!
Keep Writing :)
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Review of Never, I Say!  
Review by Madeleine
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is really funny and clever! I really love that you directly address the typewriter as if it were living - it really creates a hilarious sense of drama and emotion.
Suggestion: would the opening line be more impactful with an exclamation mark or a colon? Maybe it's just the way I read it but I found that the dash felt a bit clunky for an opening line, especially as the following lines are so comedically dramatic.
Keep Writing :)
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Review of My conduit  
Review by Madeleine
Rated: E | (4.5)
Although I'm not religious (and I believe I am correct in saying that this is a poem praising your deity) this poem was incredible beautiful and really provided me with some breathtaking imagery. It spoke of peacefulness and happiness but not necessarily in the present but in the hope of the future, in the anticipation of the future (does that make sense?)
I really loved the lack of end-stops (save for the question mark) to create a really clever flow throughout the poem - where do the lines end and begin? where do the spiritual and hope and emotion all end and begin? And again, I love that the question mark breaks that pattern, reflecting the doubt and fear we feel in everyday life.
That fact that I am atheist and this still evoked such emotions and imagery shows how excellently you have written this poem.
Keep Writing :)
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Review of Masks  
Review by Madeleine
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I really love the honesty and creepy atmosphere of this poem. The dishonesty of humanity is often something that amuses me (although I don't believe that this poem is intended to nor portrays humour) and so your exploration of how we put up fronts and lie to create a decent reputation or through some sense of competition really speaks to me. I especially love "Your focus is on the way you'll respond,/you don't really care what I've said," as I often find myself not 'listening' to people but rather just waiting for my turn to speak.
The rhyme scheme is also incredible clever at reflecting that repetitive cycle of listening and speaking and waiting and speaking and lying and lying ... etc. that cycle that we get into of just day to day living dishonestly. The rhyming scheme (of course) also helped me follow the poem, and without it I feel I would have become lost in the confusion of the meaning of the poem.
Keep Writing :)
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Review by Madeleine
Rated: E | (4.0)
I don't think I interpreted this poem as it was intended; your genres suggest that this is spiritual (and indeed "God" does also) however I personally - before I had noticed the genres - read it as describing the moment of a sunset or sunrise. "fleeting minute" referred to that brief moment of suspension where nothing is day and nothing is night and we don't have to work or sleep but just exist. I have always found those moments to be perfect for self-reflection and taking a breather, and for appreciating the beauty of the world.
Tell me how you intended the poem and what you think of how I see it :) was I right or have I completely twisted your poem sideways?
Keep Writing :)
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Review by Madeleine
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is amazing!
I really love the comedic take on something that could have actually been quite terrifying.
However, I found the opening few paragraphs giving context to the story were unnecessary, and I had to wade through them to get to the good, meaty stuff. Whilst I do agree that giving context for the story was definitely needed - why were there no teachers? why didn't you know better? context provides those answers - it's not needed in the volume you gave it in.
That said, it is an absolutely hilarious and well described piece. I really love the hyperbole of 'raging' and 'mad' followed by the anti-climactic 'only a whispered' and then made absolutely hilarious by the extreme description of the explosion. Absolutely genius!
Keep Writing :)
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Review of Tea Time  
Review by Madeleine
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Wow, I love that twist and totally wasn't expecting it! Really clever.
However - and I could have just completely muddled up with this - I found that the flow from Mr Stubbs third person into Mr Stubb's letter (? from "it was all very strange from the start" is this being read from the letter?) was a bit confusing and could have been made clearer. This could be as simple as changing it into italics or putting 'The letter read:' beforehand.
I really loved the opening with the repetitive short sentences, which really made it feel ominous despite being something as simple as making tea.
I think what added to the ominous effect was the time and dates, as if recounting a crime (which is revealed to be exactly the case) and immediately setting the reader on edge through the formality of it.
Overall an incredible piece that really kept me engaged!
Keep Writing :)
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Review of I Fall  
Review by Madeleine
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is an absolutely incredible poem! I struggle with really vivid dreaming and so I completely understand the meaning of the poem.
I especially love the rhyming scheme as it helps the flow of the poem; even more so, I love the disruption of that rhyming scheme and regularity when "I awake" to reflect just that. It forces the reader to pause and take a breath, as you would having just woken, and disrupts the strong imagery of the poem, as would happen when emerging from vivid dreaming.
My only dislike: the ellipsis moving downwards. To me, although I understand what you were going for, it destroys the aesthetic of the poem. I think the 'fall' visual would be much better achieved through just F a l l downwards, without the ellipsis.
Then again, I do appreciate the idea behind those spread punctuation, and whilst it did disrupt my reading I didn't question their place in the poem until I went to review.
Keep Writing :)
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Review of A Union of Two  
Review by Madeleine
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello again! Having really loved 'The Pull' ;) I thought I'd check out your other work.
This poem definitely has a very similar style to The Pull, and I can definitely see your 'poet's flourish'.
I especially love the repetition of "We, together" which really brings forward repeatedly the importance of that feeling; this is even better with the fact that you always place the phrase before or after a pause, allowing a kind of reflective breather of ... we together ... to enhance that. (does that make sense, I don't think I phrased my thoughts very well)
Whilst I don't personally see the appeal of marriage (Demi and ace) the meaning and love in the poem still struck me really hard, telling me you've done an excellent job!
Keep writing :)
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Review of LAST NIGHT  
Review by Madeleine
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
this is an incredibly beautiful poem! I love the twist near the end (and how it wasn't immediately obvious nor made cliche) as well as the rhyming scheme which helps give it an easy rhythm.
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Review by Madeleine
Rated: E | (4.5)
A beautiful metaphor for struggling with emotions.
I myself am incredibly bad at putting things off, so I found it incredibly inspiring and calming to read; although - that said - the frantic, almost unpredictable form of the poem excellently reflects those feelings.
the only line I dislike is "Subjective" although I couldn't give you any other reason than that I think it feels clunky. Very great technical word there, of course: clunky. That could just be the way I'm reading it.
Overall an excellent and emotional poem; keep writing!! :)
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Review by Madeleine
Rated: E | (4.5)
A beautiful poem. Although incredibly obvious, I really do love your repetition and how you are swapping and changing lines, using the rhyme to create a sort of refrain. Incredibly upbeat, a great early evening read!
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Review of The Pull  
Review by Madeleine
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is beautifully intimate; I especially love the conversational tone, making it feel as if the speaker is talking to me rather than me just reading it. I also really love your use of free verse and how you haven't end stopped lines but have still used capital letters. It creates a sort of disjointed feeling to the poem, juxtaposing the meaning but also perfectly reflecting the feeling the speaker is conveying of wanting to be connected and to see that connection but not yet being able to.
I only have one question: I don't understand the title. For me, it connotes something completely detached from the poem.
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