There are a lot of declarative sentences.
You might want to have some transition.
But, that's just a personal preference.
"No way she was going to marry the man they had chosen."
sounds like slang; which breaks with the rhythm of the classic proses.
A poem has merit in it's intent:
Glory be to God for dappled things
For skies of couple color as branded cows;
For roses on mole hills along stipple stream trout swim;
Fresh firecoal cooks chestnuts under flying finches wings;
Lanscape plotted and pierced fold, fallow and plow;
And all trades, their gear and tackle and trim.
All things counter, original spare, strange;
Whatever is fickle, freckled(who knows how?)
With swift, slow, sweet , sour, adazzle, dim;
He farthers forth whose beauty is past change:
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
Shall not live in vain.