I saw your request for review. Please remember that this is only my opinion and I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Impression: Beautiful! What a gift.....to have gained the realization that all comes from within...that physical can never replace the spiritual we are all so eager to find. This work brought to light some deep thought on my part......an area that I have been struggling with for some time now. Great piece....inspirational, uplifting and filled with hope.
Flow: Great flow...easy read.
Suggestions: Only one, check for spelling errors as I came across one or two.
Overall: A beautiful message...a wonderful piece. I can't wait to read more of your wonderful work.
I saw your request for review. Please remember that this is only my opinion and that I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Summary: Wow! I wonder how many women feel this way? Your writing is explicit in the loss you feel of the person you once were and I definately know that their are other women out there who can relate to this poem. I can sense the sadness, the disillusionment and the loss portrayed in these words. Great writing.
Flow: Good rhythm and flow
Suggestions: Proof read one more time. Ex: 'I may not can stay', I think you meant, I may not stay? Or: I can not stay? Other than this one suggestion I feel that this poem has been well written and I truly enjoyed reading your work.
Write on and write happily. Hope to see more of your work soon.:)
I saw your request for review. Please know that this is only my opinion and that I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Impression: Wow! I think I've found someone who is now ready to truly embrace who she is and in doing so is learning the art of falling in love with herself. How can we give love/trust to others if we first can't love/trust ourselves? I enjoyed reading this work and I applaud that you are dedicating the year to rediscovering who you are. And, it is not a selfish act by no means.
Flow: Very nice flow, easy reading.
Suggestions: I found one or two spelling errors but other than that, it's all good.
I saw your request for review. Please remember that this is only my opinion and that I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Impression: Sadness, heartbreak and agony. These were the emotions that this work made me feel. It is a wonderful piece.
Flow: Good flow, rhythm.
Suggestions: I would have broken this poem up into verses with separation between each verse to make it easier to read. The format it is in makes it difficult on the eyes. Next, recheck spelling, there were a few misspelled words that I came across. Other than that this piece is wonderful. I can't wait to read more of your work.
I saw your request for review. Please remember that I give only my opinion and that I do so with the utmost respect for your work.
Impression: I enjoyed reading this very much. I found it to be well written. I could sense the doubt, the fear as the character first approached her friend...then the relief as she saw that he (her master) loved her with full acceptance for who she is.
Flow: The paragraphs flowed smoothly from one to the next. The dialogue was simple and understandable with out too much wordiness.
Suggestions: I came across some areas that could use a little cleaning up: (As I stood in his front lawn this night though,) Should this be: As I stood (ON) his front lawn???? I think by re-reading and catching some of the typo's this piece will be perfect.
Thank you for sharing this great story with me. I can't wait to read more of your writing.
I saw your request for review. Please remember this is only my opinion and that I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Impression: I enjoyed this piece. It is inspirational as well as depicting the unpredicability of life and purpose as it should. Only God knows our purpose and He reveals in His time, not ours which is what I feel this work is saying.
Flow: A little difficult due to the format of this work.
Suggestions: I would change the format to reflect the poetry this piece is.
I saw your request for review. Please remember that this is only my opinion and that I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Impression: Very sexy...sensual. I enjoyed this poem for the bleak raw feelings that came across through your words.
Flow: The flow was a little awkward, not as smooth as it could be with a few minor changes.
Suggestions: I would break this poem up into verses....give it some separation to make it easier to read. Add in some punctation, Ex: Embrace me, take me.
Make me, break me.
Overall this was a wonderful piece of work. I enjoyed reading it and can't wait to see more of your work in the future.
I saw your request for review. Please remember that this is only my opinion and I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Impression: I love humerous pieces:) And yours was absolutely entertaining, funny and oh so true. I laughed all the way through it.
Flow: Great flow...easy to move from one paragraph to the next.
Suggestions: Just keep writing pieces such as this and you'll have many fans. We all need a good laugh once in awhile and you've given it to me through your work.
I saw your request for review. Please know that this is only my opinion and I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Impression: Laugh, laugh, laugh. Whoa can I relate to this story. Reading it gave me a certain amount of happiness to know that someone else out there has experience the ups/downs and the final outcome of becomming very comforatable with who you are. As someone once told me, "God doesn't have time to make a nobody...just somebody special." Your renewed faith has shown that you've jumped the hurdles and learned from them.
Flow: This story flowed nicely. Easy read.
Suggestions: None...other than to keep up the great writing. I enjoyed your piece tremendously.:)
I saw your request for review. Please know that this is only my opinion and that I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Impression: I can get the sense of confusion this character if feeling...and, this poem also made me a little sad.
Flow: Nice rhythm ,easy and comfortable flow.
Suggestions: The last two lines of the second verse felt a little awkward to me. Perhaps you might rewrite them to give the second verse a smoother flow.
Overall I enjoyed his poem. I can't wait to read more of your work in the future.
I saw your request for review. Please remember that this is only my opinion and I give it with the utmost respect for your work.
Summary: I enjoyed the story very much. It gave off a hint of superstition and how the two sisters carried with them into the future the rites they performed in childhood. You gave a good sense of their struggles through the years and also their final triumph.
Flow: Some of the paragraphs didn't flow as nicely as they could have. I felt an awkwardness in a few areas. The dialogue was clean and understandable.
Suggestions: I would re-read the story, try to transition the paragraphs into one another with a little more ease and flow. Other than that, this was a great story. I cannot wait to read more of your work.:)
I saw your request for review. Know that what I give is only my opinion and it is given with respect, encouragement and honesty.
Impression: Wow! This poem is fantastic:) I could almost envision the childs hand holding out its treasured gift. This poem really touched my heart. Your writing is clear, heartfelt and honest. The poem is filled with emotion, with gratitude.
Flow: Each verse flowed smoothly into the next and the rhythm stayed steady with no awkward transitions from verse to verse.
Suggestions: I have none. This poem was perfect. I look forward to reading more of your wonderful poems.
I saw your request for review. Remember, this is only my opinion and it is given with honesty, encouragement and respect.
Impression: Your poem touched me deeply...Oh how we as humans can destroy. in one moment build up and in the next, destroy. How aptly you described the power of hands.
Flow: The verses flowed smoothly from one to another, the rhythm steady.
Suggestions: There are some spelling errors contained in this work so I suggest to spell check it again and fix the errors. Once that is done this work deserves a perfect score. I truly enjoyed it.:)
I saw your request for review. Please know that this is just my opinion and my intention is to give you a respectful, honest and encouraging review.
Impression: Reading this I could realize the pain it was written from. I loved the title....it spoke volumes. The pain of a love lost and the regret that goes along with it is described fittingly through your words.
Flow: For the most part the poem flowed easily. There was only one area that felt a little awkward to me. The first line of the second verse....it hitched a bit. Perhaps it could be shortened to match the content of the following lines.
Suggestions: None other than what I mentioned above. Overall I loved the poem and I could feel the emotion that it was written from. Great work:)
I saw your request for review. Please know that this review is only my opinion. It is my intention to give you an honest, respectful and curtious review.
Impression: Your story has gotten off to a great start:) I especially like the introduction....teaser of what was to come. It was an easy and comfortable read which I enjoyed tremendously.
Subject: I found your character s interesting and the story line clear.
Flow: Each paragraph flowed smoothly to the next. The context of the story setting fit perfectly with the character descriptions.
Suggestions: I found several spelling errors/typo's. Once these are corrected this story will have deserved a perfect score. Be careful with run-on sentences. Sometimes keeping them short and sweet is the best option.
I can't wait to see the rest of the story unfold...I believe it will be one worth reading.
Hi, I saw your request for review. Please remember that this is only my opinion. It is my intention to give you and honest, respectful and considerate review.
Impression: The story is good. I enjoyed reading it and found it to be quite entertaining and believable.
Flow: Each chapter flowed nicely into the next with no awkward hitches.
Suggestions: Some spelling and gramatical errors. Nothing that can't be quickly fixed and it does not take away from the basis of a good story.
Kittypuss,
Thought I'd return the favor. I love this poem. I found myself returning to a time when I had to say Goodby to my own mother and your words convey the pain and loss you felt. It touched me deeply and brought tears to my eyes. Great job on this poem. I'll be reading more from you I am sure and I look forward to it.
Kittygirl
Write on and Write Happily.:)
Hi, I came across your work and your request for a review. What I give here is only my opinion and I hope you take from it what you want and leave the rest. It is my intention to give you an honest, respectful and fair review.
Impression: The story read well, moving fast and easily. The characters were believable, the vision clear. I could clearly feel the tension between the two ex-friends and it built up deliciously. I didn't expect the ending to the chapter so that was a nice slice of surprise for me. The setting worked well as it added to the murkiness of the entire picture forming in my mind. Your descriptive scenes brought the reader right into the heart of the environment. Over all I enjoyed reading the work.
Punctuation/Grammer/Spelling: I didn;t see any problems here.
Suggestions: This one sentence sounds awkward to me. I couldn't quite grasp the sense of it. (His hand grazed hers with a knowing look and she wordlessly followed him outside to his car.) Can a hand look??? Perhaps, "His eyes caressed her with a knowing look.....)
(He was relentless and persuasive in his goal ) should this be (goals)?
Over all I enjoyed reading this chapter of your story. It is well written, entertaining and an easy, comfortable read. I can't wait to see more chapters coming. Write on and Write Happily.
Hi, I came across your work for review. Please know that this is only my opinion and to take from it what you want. It is my intention to be encouraging, honest and respectful of your hard work.
Impression: This story caught me from the beginning line. I can see that you gave this work a lot of thought and it shows. I moved easily from one paragraph to another and my interest was peaked throughout. The pain and struggle of your main character was well described and believable. Overall, I thought this story was interesting and entertaining and memorable in its disturbing content.
Flow: It moved easily through out with no awkward interuptions. Vision: I could be there, seeing what the writer wanted me to see.
Suggestions: There is only one sentence that I found awkward through out the entire work: (Another minute of scanning the plaza and I find a suitable candidate to bum a cigarette from in a quiet looking fellow huddled under a gazebo wearing too much black.) Could this be re-written to make it easier to read? Perhaps: I find a suitable candidate to bum a cigarette from. He is a quiet looking fellow hundled under a gazebo. He is wearing too much black.
Great work and I look forward to reading more from you. Write on and write happily.:)
I found your item and decided to review it. Keep in mind that anything I say is only my opinion. Please consider my suggestions and take only what works for you and leave the rest behind.
Overall impression: A painful and heart wrenching topic that most writers I know hardly dare to approach. When you write from personal experience...I believe you do your best writing because it is so raw and filled with emotion. Having said that, I was truly immersed in your story and found myself thinking of my own experiences with a similar life situation. I can't say I enjoyed the story....I could feel your pain and also remembered some of my own. So, it is a great work.
Flow: It read easily, the flow was good and moved from one paragraph to another with no awkward interuptions.
Spelling/Grammer/Punctuation: I found one area that I questioned such as the third line where you wrote, "Almost anyone has" Did you mean: Almost everyone has.? Other than that, I am not great with punctuation/grammer so I cannot give you a good review for that area.
Suggestions: I really like this work. I have no suggestions for improvement as I do not feel that it needs any.
This is a good story, I became interested right from the start. It read well, flowed smoothly from one paragraph to the other. I'd like to see you introduce (mum) in the beginning rather than just referring to her as (mum). I was curious as to what her name was and it seemed a little awkward to me to to read her as just (mum). I liked the dialogue....the two sisters seemed to me to have an easy and close relationship which gives a great setting to the story that will follow later. I could easily envision the setting, the new house and the difficulty of moving to a new area, meeting new people and becomming part of a new community. Over all I enjoyed reading this work. Will be sure to check out other chapters as they get written.
Keep writing....write happily.
Great work! I became so immersed in the story that I completely forgot about the review. I can see you've spent a lot of time developing this character. Although the tale is chilling and disturbing, it was a great read. The story flowed easily, one paragraph leading into the other with no awkwardness. the ending was truly an ending, not leaving the reader feeling that the story lacked closure. I can't wait to read more of your work. If it's all as good as this was, I will thoroughly enjoy reviewing it for you.
Keep writing! :)
Great job:) One thing though, on # 8, very last word should be (carbs) not (cards)???? I like the format of your letter although some of the colors make the words very hard to read and the yellow is just about impossible....
It looks like you've got a great list of goals for the year, have given this letter a lot of thought. I applaud you. The creativeness of your letter to yourself is entertaining. Over all I enjoyed this very much. Just be careful with the colors.....too much on the readers eyes I think.
Good luck with the contest:)
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