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3,269 Public Reviews Given
3,308 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Template most of the time, covering setting/plot/characters/conflict/resolution if applicable. For shorter works, I concentrate more on feelings evoked.
I'm good at...
Short story, chapter reviews and in-depth reviews.
Favorite Genres
Sci-fi, Romance, mystery, children's
Least Favorite Genres
Historical
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, novel chapters
Least Favorite Item Types
essay, editorial, non-fiction, somebody's homework assignment
I will not review...
XGC, poems, prose. I am an animal activist and vegan, so cruelty or violent, unnecessary, death due to negligence is overwhelming. I am unable to review any pieces involving abuse of any kind to anyone. I like to keep my corner or the world happy, because I grew beyond my "challenges" of childhood and don't want to look back.
Public Reviews
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701
701
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi,
HAPPY 8th! WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*PartyHatP* "Anniversary Reviews" *PartyHatP*


Overall Impression
After reading this, I'm somewhat breathless and stilled. The words are running through my head, recreating the images you showed me. I've never read a story so deeply personal, yet so impeccably written.

I was puzzled concerning the beginning of the story, why include it with the actual telling? But as I read, it became clear that the reason for writing carried the same weight and magic of the actual story.

Recalling the first and last names of my childhood friends would be a challenge for me. I can only think of one right now. Maybe because you lived in a small town, the names were spoken more, the relationships more intimate.

There were no wasted words here, and the verb choices you made were exquisite. The story kept me entranced all the way to the conclusion. I thought, well, this can't get any better, but I was so very wrong.

The last two sentences were a jump from childhood to adulthood. They read strikingly different from what came before, and if the work was anything short of perfection, the conclusion sealed the fate of this story.

It's beautiful, and something I'm unlikely to forget. I'm not flattered when people tell me my work is publishable. I think they are just words. But when I tell you this work is publishable, I'm telling the truth.


As a Registered Author, according to the rules of the activity linked below, you are a minor hex, and this review will lift the spell you cast. *Laugh*


This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" , presented by "The Dark Society" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
702
702
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi,
HAPPY 14th! WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*PartyHatP* "Anniversary Reviews" *PartyHatP*



Overall Impression
I enjoyed reading this animal anecdote. It brought back many memories. While they were growing up, my kids had tons of animals. We had gerbils, not hamsters. But we had one gerbil just like the hamster in the second paragraph. Those teeth felt like they sunk bone-deep. And, same as you discovered, the only way to get them off was to fling them around. It sounds horrible, but they do survive.

I'm guessing this is a true story. Your style is engaging, and you know how to find humor in questionable situations. Most of the story read great, with only a few hitches, probably due to my singular experience.

It's so difficult not to relate my own experiences when I've shared similar ones. We even had a similar gerbil dying instance, where we argued back and forth, saying he's dead, no he's not dead, until he did die.

I had no idea people actually bred blind hamsters. That's horrible.

A few thoughts
I was a little confused when you introduced Sleepy. You were trying to put him a one of those exercise balls when he jumped out? I've never heard of a hamster with orange legs, but then, like I said, we had gerbils. The equivalent of a dry Niagara Falls meant a tumble down the stairs? How did that relate to being sued? Sleepy survived, right?

I'd say you've earned the right to despise hamsters. In Florida, we have Palmetto bugs that don't bite, but they're huge with gigantic feelers. In that instance, I would choose the hamster.

Thanks for the read. I'm still laughing to myself.

As a Registered Author, according to the rules of the activity linked below, you are a minor hex, and this review will lift the spell you cast. *Laugh*

This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" , presented by "The Dark Society" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
703
703
Review of Road Trip  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi,
HAPPY 8th! WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*PartyHatP* "Anniversary Reviews" *PartyHatP*


Overall Impression
Anniversary reviews are fascinating adventures. A reviewer has the opportunity to experience a broader scope of reading material. Your work was definitely a first for me, and an enjoyable ride. (sorry for the pun)

Setting/Plot/Characters
The character in this story was the motorcycle. We didn't learn much about the driver, but the motorcycle gave the reader a grand tour.

I've never traveled the world, so exquisite as the descriptions were, I wanted more. I would say the lack was the absence of people, but it wouldn't make any sense for a motorcycle to observe people.

You did a remarkable job engaging all five senses. The story was infused with bright verb choices and expressive descriptors. I liked how you didn't just write
There was a roadside bench. You gave it a purpose.

You broke my heart here.
sand was bagged for a Navy veteran who lost too much.

A few thoughts
The gilded golden palace gates garishly glared.
I'm a fan of alliteration, but this sentence was too much.

2 am
2 A.M.

*Note* As a Registered Author, according to the rules of the activity linked below, you are a minor hex, and this review will lift the spell you cast. *Laugh*

This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" , presented by "The Dark Society" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
704
704
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi,
HAPPY first! WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*PartyHatP* "Anniversary Reviews" *PartyHatP*



Overall Impression
The exposition in some places is overwhelming, but overall, it's a good story that kept me engaged. I was curious about the title, it suggests another story might stem from this one.

Setting/Plot/Characters
Everything sort of runs together, which is not that unusual when the writer is delivering information. The first sentence was my favorite. With such an intense description of the office, these details would be necessary if more stories followed. If not, maybe consider cutting back on some of the similes.

I would also suggest paragraphing this. Breaking up the dialogue and separating it from the narrative. It took a bit longer than I liked to figure out who Mr. Payne was. The characterization was outstanding, but it was lost in the words.

One thing for sure. You're consistent in your style of story-telling. And really, that part is up to you. Most write with descriptive scenes and dialogue, which makes for a great read.

One of my favorite phrases was 'a hard word to strike her dead'. That showed her frailness precisely. I wondered who 'they' were. Somehow, this man understands Bella's circumstances.

Such a promising read, if only your gems were more visible, rather than caught up in a tumble of words. Just my take, that's all.

As a Registered Author, according to the rules of the activity linked below, you are a minor hex, and this review will lift the spell you cast. *Laugh*
.
This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" , presented by "The Dark Society" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
705
705
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi,
HAPPY 2nd! WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*PartyHatP* "Anniversary Reviews" *PartyHatP*


Overall Impression
What a gorgeous story. In the beginning, the mood was sad and melancholy, a common enough feeling at Christmas. I doubt I'm the only one related to Maggie and her plight.

Setting/Plot/Characters
A very prosy beginning brought forth both beauty and hopelessness in equal measures. Then Maggie had a moment where she found it beautiful. Excellent foreshadowing.

I was extremely impressed by the setting you created in her apartment. The sense of despair was overwhelming as I pictured her sad and small life.

A continual referral to 'that day' drove the plot forward. It was somewhat of a relief to learn an event sent her spiraling, that she wasn't caught in the web of clinical depression vs. situational.

Everything you described was familiar, yet expressed in a such a graceful manner. The whole plot pivoted when she started chasing the man she thought died. The pace picked up when the chase began, and the mystery deepened.

I can't express how happy I was when the explanation became clear. This type of story is exactly the kind I like to write. I'm glad there's more than one of me.

A few thoughts
families rejoicing together as they preparedI think this would make more sense with one consistent verb tense.

I shake my heads to clear my thoughts.
I don't think she has more than one head. lol

as I the assimilation is no longer painful.
Hmm. Not sure what happened here.

Anniversary reviews sometimes bring members back to WdC. I hope you'll return to write more. Oh, by the way, the unusual title was the initial draw.


As a Registered Author, according to the rules of the activity linked below, you are a minor hex, and this review will lift the spell you cast. *Laugh*

This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" , presented by "The Dark Society" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
706
706
Review of Summer Tunes  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi,
HAPPY 4th! WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*PartyHatP* "Anniversary Reviews" *PartyHatP*


Overall Impression
Once I adjusted to the telling of the story, over the showing, I let the plot play out. It was an interesting experience, with a slight twist in the conclusion.

Setting/Plot/Characters
The reader is told what the setting is. It's explained what the character is doing, and where she is going. Throughout, the story is delivered in exposition. This can be distancing for a reader, but it's a quick way to get information out.

A few thoughts
I liked the premise of this story, but a few glitches were distracting. Many sentences had different tenses, present and past.

There was some contradiction that just needs a bit more to clear it up. She takes her earbuds out to listen. Wasn't she already listening to music?

It's written that her train wasn't due for another twelve minutes, but that meant she missed it. If this was written as "The next train wasn't due --" that would make more sense to me.

With a bit of work, this story would shine. If you have any questions about my review, please don't hesitate to email me.

As a Registered Author, according to the rules of the activity linked below, you are a minor hex, and this review will lift the spell you cast. *Laugh*

This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" , presented by "The Dark Society" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
707
707
Review of Vietnam Soldier  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi,
HAPPY 7th! WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*PartyHatP* "Anniversary Reviews" *PartyHatP*


Overall Impression
A well-written, clever story that took me by surprise, and made me laugh.

Setting/Plot/Characters
Your readers were totally immersed in the setting from the first scene, and it was not a pleasant one. The situation seemed hopeless.

But the character soldiers on, and through your description and word choices, I was more invested in the outcome. You were able to create a visual scene that was realistic for a war-time story. I've seen enough movies set in Vietnam to know a rustling in the grass is never anything good.

I liked how the action was slightly delayed. A strategic pause, as one soldier evaluated the other.


A few thoughts
Because there were two soldiers, the last paragraph was a bit confusing. If you gave your main character a name, it would make more sense as to who was doing what. And, it would eliminate the repetition of the Vietnam soldier.

Also, in this phrase and one was holding a pistol.
I think the word [but] makes more sense than [and] because the soldier sees what he's seen before. He must have been one exhausted man to turn his back on a man with a gun.

Great twist on the conclusion, and a welcomed relief.

As a Registered Author, according to the rules of the activity linked below, you are a minor hex, and this review will lift the spell you cast. *Laugh*
Don't be frightened by the darkness.

This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" , presented by "The Dark Society" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
708
708
Review of Shaky Marriage  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi, Candie!

This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" , presented by "The Dark Society" 

As a Registered Author, according to the stipulations above, you are a minor hex, and this review will lift the spell you cast. *Laugh*

HAPPY 8th! WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*PartyHatP* "Anniversary Reviews" *PartyHatP*


*Hotair2*
Overall Impression
I liked this story for many reasons, for one, I wasn't sure if your character was a reliable narrator or not. Everything was so right in the beginning, and her thoughts seemed to dictate actions. Readers only see the story through her eyes.

*Hotair2*
Setting/Plot/Characters
I liked how the romantic moment occurred when the fireworks went off!

No setting was specifically established, but the reader can draw from their own minds what the house and bar looked like.

Two years later, the reader was subjected to a heated dialogue between Claire and John. They argued like crazy on fire. But it was a common enough argument. Claire not believing John.

I wondered what Claire would do in her mood of vindication and retribution. At this point, I was still wondering if the whole story was being told. And John called the fire department saying Claire had problems. Throwing in more doubt!

What a mess, that makes for a great read.

*Laugh*
She cuts cucumbers on the way to the mall?

*Hotair2*
A few perplexes
How did the wife throw all those things up on the roof from the bottom of the house? Clothes don't weigh very much.

How did the husband know the wife called the fire department?

What happened when Claire did not know how to use a fire extinguisher? What did she do wrong? Spray herself?

walked over to his precious [viper].
Viper

*Books4*
In closing
The last line concluded the plot in a satisfying way. As you probably intended, I thought Claire was off to kill her husband. But she found a much more elegant way to hurt him. From the conclusion, Claire's had enough of John. I hope she finds someone who really loves her. Even if she is a little crazy.

Personal signature By Kiya


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709
709
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with The Dark Society  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi WW!

This review is being given as part of the "Black Magic Birthday Review Bash" , presented by "The Dark Society" 


Don't be frightened by the darkness.

Overall Impression
It's never easy to describe an experience like this, but you captured the moment for me. I thank you for the reminder to stop and admire the natural world. The wisdom gained is profound.

As the experience unrolls
The word choices in this piece caught my attention. Unique, or well-placed unusual words brought added depth to the work. Your words drew me deeper into the experience. "uplifted my spirit magnificently" was one of my several favorites.

I've heard the concept of spiritual guides. At first I struggled to find mine, until I learned they were everywhere. I won't elaborate on my experience in this review, but trees seem to speak to me. And, I've had an insect experience, but it passed unnoticed until I read this.

No one can discount your observation. What were the chances this particular dragonfly returned to you? Awe-inspiring.

A few thoughts
I think you forgot to close out the italics in the paragraph "Then it finally dawned--" Or maybe this was intentional.

*Tree2*
Perhaps the dragonfly came back just so you could snap your photo.

*Heart* I feel restored after contemplating your moments in time.

Personal signature By Kiya


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
710
710
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi lovelife!


Welcome to WDC from
*Balloonr* "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


What a sweet story. Life is lived by the moments, and this short story captured a few poignant seconds of a girl's life. Both characters had personalities to remember.

The girl worried me. I had the feeling his guy might be okay for her, if only she had the bravery to look up. I was encouraging her as I read. "Look up before this moment is gone."

Because of her prior experience, it's understandable she would be reluctant to make herself open and vulnerable. The actions of the guy, staying close to her, made it clear to me that here was someone she could trust.

You captured her innocence and insecurities in a way that came across as authentic. Nicely done!

There's a few writing skills you can pick up along the way. I'll give you some examples. Remember, fiction is immediate, happening in the moment, especially a romantic moment.

Rather than her temperature increasing and her heart beating at an unprecedented rate, consider,
Her whole body flushed and her heart pounded in her throat.

Try to use less words for greater effect.
leaning in towards her and his face so close to hers.
Now, I can't possibly rewrite this for you, but incomplete sentences are another useful tool to capture an escalating situation. Here's a few thoughts for your consideration.

His back arched. Face to face, she gently caressed his cheek, not wanting to mar his perfection. (or the perfection of him)

9am 9 A.M.

Keep in mind word economy; it's an awesome tool to carve out only the necessary in a short story. Keep on writing more stories!


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711
711
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Harry!


I came across your work while perusing 'Read and Review". How odd that you wrote this in 2003, revamped it in 2010, but its showing no reviews at all. I guess we all have one or two of those items.

So, what happened when I read your work? At first, the unusual presentation slowed me down, but I like quirky things, and apparently you liked presenting it this way. I laughed a bit, seeing how time has changed so much. I can't remember the last time I saw an actual, working phone booth.

The message inside the words rang so true for me. What we teach our kids, they hopefully teach theirs. (but only the good stuff they learned from us.)

I'm probably not the only person who wondered about turning the money over. This ended up being the crux of the story. Because the man in the 7-11 probably did keep the money, but the way you hit that last line with such accuracy made me think Yes, that's very true.

I've lost my wallet on five separate occasions, and it's always been returned to me untouched. There are wonderfully, good people in our world, and great parenting fosters the continuation of kids doing the right thing, even when they don't have to.

Everyone has their own style. This feels more like it belongs in short story format, but I honor your choice.


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712
712
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Susan!


Welcome to WDC from
*Balloonr* "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


I have over 100 rocks in my collection, ranging from pebbles to boulders. I simply had to read your take on the beauty.

None of mine have ants running through them, and I never thought about the rocks keeping the ground warm so they could live regardless of season.

The first sentence sounded contradictory to me. If rocks are polished smooth, how can they have texture? Did you mean river rocks only?

Dinosaur toes? *Laugh* Very clever.

I think rocks do much more than staying where they fell. If someone like me comes along, there's an intrinsic value in all of them. Each one has its own story, and weird as it sounds, they comfort me.

Another new idea you presented was that the crystals inside rocks possibly came from other planets. Now that would be something special!

My rocks are always with me, so I enjoyed this story that gave me a bit of extra time to think as I read your work.

Nice cover art!


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713
713
Review of The Three Strings  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Warden!


I came across your Bar Joke by searching through "Read and Review." Years ago, I had a friend who pantomimed this 'joke', but I've never seen it written out. *Laugh*

Not only is the joke outstanding, you did a tremendous job formatting the stanzas and creating the rhymes. This poem was more elaborate than the physical version, and not only did it bring back a honeycomb of memories, you made me laugh on a day when the gloom and doom part of me is dominant.

Your work also fits in with WDC's birthday celebration. Well, an 18+ poem. Although the strings were the main characters, I created a vision of the bar and the bartender, who spots the knot in a crowd.

*Star* I like the alliteration in "string's skinny self".

I thought perhaps the three strings would twine together to form the knot, but the idea of the two strings failing before the successful one works just as well.

I just glanced at the creation and edited date of this work. I joined in 2011 and missed the adventure of the Bar Joke Contest. My plan was to check it out to see which one won first place because yours sounded like the winner to me!

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714
714
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi, Will!

I came across your story in the 2015 Aug 19th Action/Adventure Newsletter. The title was 'Good Description', and it's obvious why Leger chose your work.

When I'm less than enthusiastic about the beginning of a story, I skip to the middle and sometimes to the end before deciding to review or not. Two things about that habit.

First, I knew from the first sentence there was no way I was letting this story escape from me.

And secondly, I'm happy there was no skipping to the end because it was a shock. Lucky for me I didn't read the brief description because that gives away the ending, which would have been less effective.

I had only one question, and it's not really a question. If the AI's want to be human, how does killing humans accomplish that? Actually, that makes them very human since homo-sapiens excel in the atrocities of inhumanity against themselves.

Back to the plot--sorry. The plot unfolded in my mind as if I was watching a television show. Or maybe I watch too much sci-fi. Great use of futuristic tools and words.

A few of my favorites
The door irises open--succinct visual with sound.
turquoise flame burning the corridor black -colors exploding
potato peeler - yuck, effective without the gore, though.
fairy lights - so unlikely in this plot

I liked the alliteration of Sully Sumner. My position is that character names tell a story all their own, and it's a waste not to take advantage of that. The sound of the character's name echoed in my head. I had to think a bit before pronouncing it, and it's a name that most likely will not be forgotten.

I learned quite a bit from reading this. Your sentence structure was varied, as were the lengths. Dialogue was interspersed, demonstrating two sides of the same story, without switching POV.

You certainly don't need me telling you this little story is great. I'll let the five stars do all the talking.


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715
715
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi, Lily Rose!

Welcome to WDC from
*Balloonr* "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


Overall Impression
Your story is well-written and held my attention, even though I knew it would be dark, and likely to have a horrible ending. Maybe my mood is dark today, and it felt right to read this.

Plot/Characters/Setting
The story elements are all here. The plot began with a conflict that would draw most readers in to looking for the resolution. You handled the back and forth of the events without causing any confusion.

Great character development, as well. Bonnie is a fascinating girl, one you could carry over to another story. I wonder if she could be the main character and stories would be about her many exploits and adventures. It seems a waste to leave her on this page.

As for Burnout, his fate was sealed from the beginning, but I was surprised he was a hopeless drunk. He cared deeply for his sister. What drove him to drink? His association with Lighter?

You really didn't need a developed setting for this plot. The height of the apartment was essential to the story.

Using the song "Burning Up" as a ring tone was effectively ironic. *Checkg*

Oops
I found some little glitches here and there, but this sentence was the only one that actually took me out of the story.

Sam knew about Bonnie, she disgusted him while intrigued him at the same time

A few thoughts
A little comment here, I don't think there are thousands of antidepressants out there. Now, it's plausible that Burnout is thinking this way, but still it sticks out like an inaccurate comment. Just something to consider.

Looking at the title, I think the capitalization of the words should be corrected.

I think the main goal of this story was to bring it to the dark conclusion I'd been anticipating. There was no rushing of the plot to reach this goal, though.

Why your story?
Are you wondering how your story was written on the day you joined, today, and was reviewed so quickly? One thing our members do is look out for new members. In my case, I clicked on the option "Read and Review" from the left hand menu and landed on your story.

Keep up the good work. When you get around to it, filling out your bio is a great way for other members to become familiar with you. *Wink*

Animated Simply Positive Moon Signature


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716
716
Review of A Wedge  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi James!

Welcome to WDC from
*Balloonr* "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


Overall impression
You have a way, in this story, of bringing in the cold to the reader. Although I didn't understand the relationships, or what really happened, there was cold everywhere. In the words, in the scenes, in the thoughts.

Plot
This read like a one scene tiny vignette, fairly sparse on meaning. I would like to know what the argument was over. Why the woman wouldn't let anyone touch her bandages. Why these people were brought together, and why they would all end up dying.

Characters
The characterization was strong and the dialogue was realistic. I was able to relate to Sarah's hope and request that James would stay with her. James wasn't all too pleased with his choice, or himself, but he accepted who he was and recognized his limitations. Even if there hadn't been another man involved, James might not be capable of handling any relationship. I can't say precisely what gave me that impression, other than the repeated theme of coldness everywhere.

*Questionbl* Is James the wedge?

in the end
Well, you have a few characters all set and ready to go if you decide to expand on this work. Mostly, I wanted to welcome you to WdC and encourage you to keep on writing!

Animated Simply Positive Moon Signature


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717
717
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi, tHiNg, Hooves, and COWser Sooze!

Welcome to
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  8th Anniversary Celebration Raid!

There was so much information on this page, I got lost in all the links before making it back here to write a review. If anyone wants to know who you are, well, this is one place you can be found.

I like your open and carefree manner, but there's also an element of caution, good advice on protocols and basic manners among members. In a community of this size, it's quite likely someone will step on a member's toes, or hooves. Like you said, it's best to move on, although I've felt the sting a few times enough to walk away for a few days.

Great pictures of your Basset Bound. Such soulful eyes, no wonder the dog has such a special place in your heart. I'm a cat person, but I've only had one that was capable of relating on a human level. He used to lick the tears from my face.

The Movie Lovers Group led me away from this piece. Someone wrote about a movie in German, which caused me to spend a good bit of time trying to find it on Amazon. I failed.

Somewhere in here I found valuable advice about writing product reviews. I've done a few, but some members seem to have a knack for it that intimidates me.

You've commissioned quite a few merit badges! I appreciate that many of them are community wide badges. There are so many group specific, many are unattainable.

I haven't met many members who are close to being veterans. I wonder what I will be like after so many years on WdC? I can only hope to gain some of your wisdom and candor. This page you put together is more than an autobiography. It shows members just how much is offered here. And, the first person insight is invaluable.

I already reviewed "Avoiding Toothless Rabid Bullies & Such"  but if anyone comes along and reads this review, I encourage them to take a look not only at this item, but also the link I enclosed. Looks like I'm off to join your Movie Group. *Wink*


** Image ID #2052096 Unavailable **


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Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Welcome to
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  8th Anniversary Celebration Raid!

Maryann, I've written stories similar to this and it felt like coming home when I read your story. I didn't know your thoughts sometimes ran along this line. Very cool.

Stories that begin with dialogue always capture my attention. Maybe it's because we place the highest value on words. So right away, the main character is introduced, along with her perceived thoughts of herself. She's not good with children. Interesting, how she carries this through to her own daughter, finding a way to place blame on herself. Isn't that what we all do as parents?

Although the story was sci-fi, it wasn't beyond comprehension. Quite the opposite, really. The plot is filled with human emotions and musings. The introduction of neighbors and family members added more depth to Rhea's existence.

The sci-fi elements were engrossing. Implanted chips that could be accidentally deactivated. I seem to have skated around the main plot element. A healing horse. Perhaps because as I said earlier, this is my kind of story. When I say brilliant idea, my compliments are only for you, though. I would love to see a world where newborns were linked to healing horses. Animals deserve a much greater respect than what we give them.

Establishing the horses's color as champagne struck a chord in me. It sounded so unique and unusual for a horse. This fit in with altered reality.

Some humans speculate that we are planet killers, and we came from Mars after we destroyed it. Now we're on a collision course with the death of earth. I hope these characters don't have too much 'human' in them.

My only thought would be to show Rhea's reaction at the conclusion, not tell us how she felt.

It's only fitting that members celebrate the person who actually began Powers. I hope you see tons of reviews!


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Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Leger! Welcome to
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  8th Anniversary Celebration Raid!

Sometimes I have to get the first thoughts out first. Now I know exactly what notation to make at the end of a story if I expand on the original, stipulated word count. Thanks!

There's so much in this story that is not immediately apparent on the first read through. I wondered what Madril (great name choice) meant when he said he wanted to see if the painting was back. I had to think on that a bit, until I put it together. The painting was off display. Clever writer. Screwy reader.

I don't know how many extra words you took to make this such a rich slice of life. In the second half of the story, we get a surprise look into Madril's past. The dialogue was brisk and savvy. And again, the writing was so concise and precise, there was much more going unsaid. Like reading in between the lines. Excellent.

I don't think I've ever heard the light bar on a cop's roof referred to as cherries. It's such a pleasure to find these peculiar and delightful little surprises in stories. (Yes, I know it wasn't a real cop car, but I really liked that part.)

If you're of a mind, I think you might want to change this work to short story rather than other. And you can make another selection since it's no longer a contest entry. I know, no big deal, but I had to point it out.

I liked the title not only because it fit the plot, but also because it indicated part what was happening between Madril and his cousin. The cousin was, in a way, breaking and entering into the boy's life, turning it upside down. Great write!


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Review of Broken  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi, Envy!


Welcome to WDC from
*Balloonr* "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


Interesting write!

I seem to be drawn to sad titles, and that was the initial draw. The brief description was spot-on, so I could just relax and read the story of this sad girl.

I think you presented her case well. She was clearly a person of misfortune who would never be anything more. It seems no sun shined in her life, even with the new baby. I was a bit curious about what happened to her child once the narrator ran away. The story stays with the character, but since the baby was mentioned, you might want to add something about her.

It's true. Once a person accepts something, or stops having expectations, life is easier. Maybe not better, but there's no more mental torment over what the person cannot have. You expressed this very well through this narration. *Checkg*

I liked the conclusion because it was realistic. Living with fear instills fear, and maybe some can overcome it and live a normal life.

You covered all the aspects of an abused girl. Of how people might try to help, but they don't see the whole picture. I was interested in your take on talk therapy. As one who has gone all the way back to find the source of the wound, I wish for the opposite--to just deal with the problems that were present.

Great job writing something a bit different. Now, if you want, you have a character to insert into a plot. Keep writing!


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Review by Nixie
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Ghost

Welcome to WDC from
*Balloonr* "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


I liked this unique take on machine vs. humanity. I'm not sure what the A.I.'s looked like, but their compassion was apparent. It struck me as unusual for the A.I. to talk about brothers and sisters, almost as if they were families. It sounds like you created a society of machines. Not having a clue as to 'what' the machines really were, the picture of humanoid, artificial persons came to mind.

Sadly, everything you cover in this short story is true. We are planet killers. I'm not sure how entire farms could be eaten in hours, but maybe that's how time passes in the A.I. world.

I was wondering how the 'robots' were listening to the screams of dying humans, or how missiles could destroy things in outer space, but those questions didn't have a huge impact on the plot.

Nice turnaround on how the machines came to rule. *Checkg*

A few considerations:

dangers zones to safe havens
danger or dangerous

while my brother and ensured the machines
Oops. You don't need [and] in this sentence fragment.

*Idea*Paragraphing would make this an easier read.

Since we practically live in a virtual world already, it seemed totally plausible that the 'machines' would place humans there for as long as they lived. All of this makes for an interesting read, even though I couldn't quite picture how this happened.

Keep writing!
~Nixie

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Review of Jouska  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Danni!

Welcome to WDC from
*Balloonr* "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


This was a quick and effective way to handle the prompt. It makes it a bit hard to rate because there isn't much to this work, but from what is here, it seems you have the writing itch.

I write stories in my head all the time, which is where I thought you were taking me. But you catapulted into the realm of creativity by using your talents. I wasn't quite ready to leap with you, until I read the part about the changing facial expressions. That was the new territory.

You might want to give this work a real title and edit the brief description to reflect what you've written here. *Idea*

The best for last? You nailed the story when you used the prompt as the last sentence. It gave me an eerie feeling. I'm trying to imagine this type of person, and that's something that never happened before. Great job involving your reader and bringing out emotions and thoughts.

Be confident in your work. Although it's short, the work is still worthy of a title. *Wink*

~Nixie

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Review of New Life  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi, C.D. Franz!

Welcome to WDC from
*Balloonr* "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


I wonder if you realize that the first few sentences almost read like poetry. There's a certain compelling cadence to the words that encouraged me to continue reading.

This piece would be a lot easier to read if there was proper paragraphing, but I wanted to know what all of this meant. And it meant a great deal to me. I'm a huge fan of 'all that we cannot see' is more meaningful than what our limited senses offer.

Of course, I wouldn't want to learn more by going through the narrator's experience, but I guess that's one way of getting there. This piece casually hints at the life after death quandary, the tone is more curious than fearful. These feelings come from the narrator, who sounds like a young teen.

If writing is for exploration, and it is, you did a great job exploring alternate theories and realities. For a moment there, I thought this might be Steampunk because some of the girl's wardrobe is suggestive of that genre.

You wrapped up the story in a way that left me feeling complete, even though the adventure was just beginning. *Checkb*

My favorite part? The skyscrapers looking back at the narrator. Keep up the good work, and keep on writing!

~Nixie

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Review by Nixie
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi khushboo, and

Welcome to WDC from
*Balloonr* "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


I'm here, because after reading your piece on parenting, I wanted to see what else you had written. I became transfixed by this article that reads like poetry. It speaks to many parts of me, which is definitely something we, as writers, strive for. I doubt there's many people who feel complete and normal, whatever that is.

The two concepts I'm left with are the how I often feel labeled and boxed, and also how, although it appears otherwise, on the inside I'm broken, but surviving. The title suits the thought process perfectly.


A few suggestions:
Why ? she didn’t know.
Consider this slight edit, your choice.
Why? She doesn't know.

A box that label[ed] who she was.
labeled

Her body ached [aches]with loneliness.
ached needs to be [ache] to fit in with the other present tense lines.

What you've captured here is something to be proud of. I'm sure there are many other readers who found themselves in your words. Nice write!

~Nixie *Smile*

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Review of Hidden Light  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Reese!
And

Welcome to WDC from
*Balloonr* "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


What was it about this poem that drew a strong emotional reaction from me? Partly it was because the work began with a tree, and I'm always drawn to trees.

From there, the drama built. The first part was mostly dark and I thought I might remain stuck in a downward spiral. But, from 'dressed in a fashion' the emotions escalated to something else. I felt a quick spark of being able to relate to the narrator, and a vague sense of hope seemed to shimmer on the horizon.

The lines about the willow tree were absolutely beautiful, especially when the tree 'does not weep with me'. This really brought on just how far the person had strayed, if nature itself was looking away. But then the branches, like a compassionate friend, brought back the light, leaving me feeling uplifted and calmed.

Of course, the willow tree could be metaphoric, but I liked the idea of a person reacting with something tangible. I painted an entire scene in my mind. Very nicely written.

~Nixie *Smile*


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