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Review by Ned Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, my name is Ned Author IconMail Icon and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.


*CheckB* TITLE: The title expresses the poet's feelings about summer, sums up the poem's meaning and is appropriate for the poem.

*CheckR* FORM: This is a structured poem that is written in rhyming quatrains with an a/b/c/b rhyme scheme.

*CheckG* RHYTHM/RHYME: The rhymes flow well and add to the lyrical quality of the poem.

*CheckP* IMAGERY: The imagery is vivid. The reader gets the sense that the poet really revels in these summer scenes that are described here with such detail and enthusiasm.

*CheckR* FAVORITE LINE(S): The entire fourth stanza is lovely. I can envision the graceful movements of the weeping willows from the description here.

*CheckB* SUGGESTIONS: The use of the word "doth" in the first stanza seems out of place. "Doth" is the third person singular of the verb "to do", so it is mismatched with a first person subject which should be "I in awe do spy". Besides, the poem has such a nice, melodic flow that it doesn't need the addition of old-fashioned verbs IMHO.

*CheckP* OVERALL IMPRESSION: This poem is a celebration of nature and is an appealing mixture of vivid images and a feeling of joy at the sight of them. I enjoyed this poem very much.


Keep On Writing!

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Review of The Good Day  Open in new Window.
Review by Ned Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I came across your short fiction on the Read & Review, and so I am just writing a few lines to tell you how much I enjoyed it.

Based on the ultra short word count of 294, I am guessing this was a flash fiction written to a prompt. I like flash fiction - maybe because I am lazy and don't like to read too much. However, I did like reading your story of "The Good DayOpen in new Window..

This story is about a group of friends, and one friend in particular who never fit in with the others because he didn't seem to want to joke around and he didn't smile. On The Good Day, however, this misfit friend pulled off a joke on the narrator that puts a big smile on everyone's face, including himself and the reader. The reader gets a warm feeling at the end knowing that Harold finally managed to show his sense of humor and found his place in the group.

The story is amusing, too. It was an epic prank.

I enjoyed the read.


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Review of Treadmill  Open in new Window.
Review by Ned Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
I came across your poem in Read & Review. I enjoyed reading it and decided to review it.

The poem is written as a dialogue. It is constructed in the form of mostly end-rhyme couplets, although on some lines the syllable count may not be even.

The imagery of life as a treadmill is a very effective vehicle for the moral lesson that the poem is designed to convey. The two voices are a workaholic who is trying so hard to keep the treadmill going fast he cant enjoy life, and a wise voice who advises him to slow down, smile and see more to life than the treadmill. The dialogue is used well as a literary device and the rhyming gives it a lyrical feeling.

I thought this poem was an interesting and unique way to get the author's point across. Well done.

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Review of Dignity  Open in new Window.
Review by Ned Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi, my name is Ned Author IconMail Icon and these are just my thoughts after reading your story "DignityOpen in new Window.. These are my personal opinions and I am not a professional editor so feel free to use or discard any suggestions. These are just my impressions of what I am reviewing.

OVERVIEWThe title reflects the efforts of a dying man to end his life and his plan to die with dignity, a detail we do not learn until the end of the story.


FAVORITE PART or LINE: I like the phone call with the old girlfriend, how the prompt is worked into this conversation and most of all, I love the way Clark and Jackie's phone call echoes the story of the song. He calls her like a ghost from her past, and she seems to be the lost love he now regrets losing, diamonds and rust. She listened to Baez, he listened to Judas Priest and in this tiny snippet of conversation, so much is said about who they were and are now, why they broke up, why he called her before taking that final step. I thought it was a brilliant use of the prompt.


OVERALL IMPRESSIONS: This story doesn't waste a word or a line i creating a full and satisfying story. The dialogue is realistic, the characters ring true (no pun intended) and we know enough of Clark to feel sad about his missed opportunities and his terminal condition. I, for one, am perfectly happy to have Joan Baez as an earworm for the evening. Luckily, it's one of my favorite songs.
I really liked this.

Keep On Writing!

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Review of Outside the Box  Open in new Window.
Review by Ned Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, my name is Ned Author IconMail Icon and these are just my thoughts after reading your story {item:}. These are my personal opinions and I am not a professional editor so feel free to use or discard any suggestions. These are just my impressions of what I am reviewing.

TITLE: I think the title is excellent and it's true meaning is revealed at the end of the story.

PLOT: The plot is the strongest part of this story. The twist at the end was truly a surprise to me. I love those twisted tales.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT:I don't think we got to know the main character as well as we want to. We know her age but little else.

FAVORITE PART or LINE: My favorite part is the surprise ending. I admit I felt a bit confused until the ending brought it all into perspective.

READABILITY-GRAMMAR-PUNCTUATION: There are a few instances where some editing would improve the grammar or the clarity. Choosing the right genres for your story will help you get more readers. Rather than Travel, Nonsense, Other, you should choose categories like Horror, Suspense, Mystery, etc.

SUGGESTIONS: If the writer wanted to do so, the reader would probably enjoy more of the descriptions of 'inside the box' and 'outside the box'.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS: This story has a twist at the end that is both scary and creepy It is definitely a good example of leading the reader along, then reeling them in. Fans of horror will like this story a lot.

Keep On Writing!

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Review of Slaughtered Lambs  Open in new Window.
Review by Ned Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
I just ran across your poem "Slaughtered LambsOpen in new Window.in Read & Review and I was struck by its intensity and meaning.

The imagery is disturbing but effective as it contrasts the symbols of peace (Lilies and the statue of Our Lady) with the images of the injured and dead in the pews. The title is poignant, the happy Easter images of the first lines and the lament in the final line, echo the "lambs" in the title. Well done.

The only problem I noticed was spelling of "lilies" as "Lillys", a minor point.

This is not the poem one expects to see from the prompt word "flowers". Though the subject is a dark one, and the incident a tragic one, it is important to bring it to the attention of people everywhere and poetry may reach people that the news doesn't.



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Review of Where I Call Home  Open in new Window.
Review by Ned Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found your poem through the Read & Review. I wanted to review it mostly to tell you how it affected me and to thank you for my moments of nostalgia.

The imagery is lovely and does more than describe scenery, it creates atmosphere. Anyone from a small town or even a tight-knit neighborhood knows how it feels to know everyone and their history.

The small town history that is still part of everyday life gives us the sense of continuity and roots. I actually live near the old train depot (no longer in use) that I remember from when I was a kid.

I thoroughly enjoyed the trip back to my small town childhood and also reading about your small town and your memories. It was a lovely trip, thank you.

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Review of Coronavirus  Open in new Window.
Review by Ned Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, I found your poem through Read & Review.

This poem is a little limerick with a traditional rhyme scheme and set number of lines. Limericks are often amusing and this limerick does not disappoint as it pokes fun at a serious subject and one that is on everyone's mind - the coronavirus.

The rhyming is well done, the lilt of the lines works well and the irreverence is just right for a timely limerick on today's current crisis.

I enjoyed this.

KEEP WRITING!

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Review by Ned Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, my name is Ned Author IconMail Icon and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.


*CheckB* TITLE: The title makes us think of a scavenging animal, and indeed, the subject of the poem is viewed as a nuisance or pest

*CheckR* FORM: This is a structured poem that is written in quatrains

*CheckG* RHYTHM/RHYME: The rhymes flow well, they are in a/b/a/b throughout

*CheckP* IMAGERY: The images in this poem bring us right down to street level. Even though the narrator of the poem is inside, viewing from a safe and clean distance, we have eyes on the life the street person is living

*CheckR* FAVORITE LINE(S): "He was just a blight on the outskirts of my existence" The street person, the scavenger, is a pest but not considered to be important.

*CheckB* SUGGESTIONS: I don't really have any, the imagery seems strong and word choices appropriate.

*CheckP* OVERALL IMPRESSION: This is a poignant portrayal of a person who is homeless, looking through the trash for items of use to him while the homeowner views this homeless person as a pest, like a raccoon, going through the garbage and wishes only for the homeless person to be driven away. The eyes of the title belong to the street person, but it is the eyes of the unfeeling observer that need some adjusting. A poem to make you think.


Keep On Writing!

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Review by Ned Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, my name is Ned Author IconMail Icon and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest.

I don't often review song lyrics, so bear with me if I get anything wrong.



*CheckB* TITLE: I think the title is different and catchy, so highly likely to be memorable.


*CheckG* RHYTHM/RHYME: The rhymes are in an a/b/a/b scheme and they flow well. The lines have a natural rhythm so it is easy to imagine these lyrics set to music.

*CheckP* IMAGERY: The lyrics, especially the title line, are imaginative and expressive.

*CheckR* FAVORITE LINE(S): My favorite lines are the refrain containing the title.

*CheckB* SUGGESTIONS: None

*CheckP* OVERALL IMPRESSION: This is a love song in which one lover becomes a famous singer and one gets left behind but wishes for the day they are back together. The sentiments expressed ring true. One could imagine that with a catchy tune, these lyrics would create a popular song


Keep On Writing!

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Review by Ned Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, my name is Ned Author IconMail Icon and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.


*CheckB* TITLE: The title says it all, the yearning for the cozy chair - who couldn't relate to that?

*CheckR* FORM: The poem is written in the form of a sonnet, with 12 lines of ten syllables and a couplet.

*CheckG* RHYTHM/RHYME: The rhyme scheme is a/b/a/b Most of the rhymes flow well, the meter is a little off here and there but the overall flow of the poem is fine.

*CheckP* IMAGERY: The imagery of the comfy chair versus that of the less comfortable campsite is well drawn

*CheckR* FAVORITE LINE(S): "Beside the cozy fireplace, a chair
Sits patiently awaiting my return." This is such a homey picture, I wish I were there.


*CheckP* OVERALL IMPRESSION: This is a comic poem done in a traditional style which adds to its comic appeal. Anyone who has been camping and missed the comforts of home will relate to the author's predicament. It's a fun read.


Keep On Writing!

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Review of Good Fortune  Open in new Window.
Review by Ned Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a deeply painful experience the author is writing about. There is heartache from the breakup, but it never really heals because he keeps coming back and rekindling hope. This is the part that is the most painful, and yet, the author seems to be resigned to these unresolved feelings and open-ended relationship that is on-again, off-again. The author does a good job of relating these feelings in a way that the reader actually feels somewhat angry for her at times and then ultimately, melancholy.

The only problem with the writing that I noticed was the word "tune" was misspelled as "toon".

A heart-rending piece of writing that readers will relate to. Well done.


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Review of “Look Away”  Open in new Window.
Review by Ned Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a structured poem of quatrains with a consistent rhyme scheme of abab throughout.

The poem reflects a feeling of fear over the data mining of social media and the intrusive nature of the modern technology that has become a way of life for most people. The poem expresses a bit of paranoia about exposure that doesn't seem irrational or undeserved. These are feeling that many people can relate to.
These lines
"It was you but only you
Who fed 'Big Data' bots
Letting trackers through
Accessing all you got"

put the blame for this exposure squarely on the user who has allowed it to happen.

Food for thought in this computerized and global age of information sharing. We would all do well to take care


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Review of Getting Even  Open in new Window.
Review by Ned Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi, my name is Ned Author IconMail Icon and these are just my thoughts after reading your story "Getting EvenOpen in new Window.. These are my personal opinions and I am not a professional editor so feel free to use or discard any suggestions. These are just my impressions of what I am reviewing.

TITLE: The title describes the point of the story very well.

PLOT: The plot involves a jewel thief, a break up and revenge all in a short, short story.


READABILITY-GRAMMAR-PUNCTUATION: The only problem I noted was the misspelling of "loser" as "looser".


OVERALL IMPRESSIONS: This is a micro-fiction There's no word count included but it's quite a short piece The author does a good job of fitting a lot of story and background into this very short story. The prompt is used well and creatively. We learn a lot about the character of the ex-boyfriend, or lack of character, which makes the reader just as happy as the narrating character when she finds a way to exact her revenge. Peter deserves to be turned in to the police.



This was a tight little story with a lot of detail packed into a short word count.
Great Job.

Keep On Writing!

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65
65
Review by Ned Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi, my name is Ned Author IconMail Icon and these are just my thoughts after reading your story "A Random Act of KindnessOpen in new Window.. These are my personal opinions and I am not a professional editor so feel free to use or discard any suggestions. These are just my impressions of what I am reviewing.

TITLE: The title sums up the point of the story without giving away anything about the story. I was surprised.

PLOT: The main character is at some medical clinic to procure a leg. Based on his musing, we understand that he has lost both legs but has only had a replacement for one. He seems to have lost his leg in the military and this is some type of military establishment. The time and place are not specified, but we know this is science fiction.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT: As the story progresses, we learn more about the main character and how he came to be legless. Joe is an amusing storyteller and observer.

FAVORITE PART or LINE: "His other leg hadn’t retired, it had merely absconded during battle." Love the idea of the leg absconding.

READABILITY-GRAMMAR-PUNCTUATION: I didn't see any problems, the story reads well.


OVERALL IMPRESSIONS: This is an amusing story with a surprise moral at the end that I did not see coming, even though it was the title of the item. I became engrossed in the twists of who had whose legs - the story has shades of Douglas Adams. A fun little story that I enjoyed reading.

Keep On Writing!

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Review of Toressa  Open in new Window.
Review by Ned Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, my name is Ned Author IconMail Icon and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.


*CheckB* TITLE: The title is the name of the object of affection. The name is pretty and unusual, which often makes a name, or a title, memorable.

*CheckR* FORM: The item is song lyrics and is written in quatrains.

*CheckG* RHYTHM/RHYME: The rhyme scheme is complex. The verses have internal rhymes in lines 1 and 3, with end of line rhymes on 2 and 4. This is done quite deftly without making the lines awkward while conveying a lot of emotion and meaning. There is a refrain that repeats between verses and is sometimes preceded by "Toressa, Toressa".

*CheckP* IMAGERY: There is a good deal of imagery worked into the verses, while the refrain is much more straightforward. Lines like "The gentle rain plays out your name" highlight the claim that "you're with me everywhere I go" as the author sees Toressa's face in the clouds and hears her voice in the trees.

*CheckR* FAVORITE LINE(S):
"I close my eyes and hear your sighs
As whispers from the leaves"

This is a fine bit of imaginative and expressive language that really "sings".

*CheckB* SUGGESTIONS: I think the following lines are fine as they are, but I feel that they could be stronger with just a word change or two that would not change the meaning, but strengthen the feelings expressed.

"Your gentle touch I love so much
Comes lightly with each breeze."

I wonder if you feel that a more visceral word for "love" would be appropriate? - something that expresses more need, because the singer is telling us that he sees his love everywhere and everything reminds him of her, so his feelings must be strong.


*CheckP* OVERALL IMPRESSION: I can definitely "hear" the song in these lyrics though I don't have a tune for them and can only read them. There are some expressive, poetic descriptions of the ways the singer sees, hears and feels the object of affection everywhere and in all different circumstances. The imagery is effective, the rhymes are solid and there is a lilt to the language without even having any music to accompany the words. Great job. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this item.


Keep On Writing!

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Review of Madam President  Open in new Window.
Review by Ned Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi, my name is Ned Author IconMail Icon and these are just my thoughts after reading your story "Madam PresidentOpen in new Window.. These are my personal opinions and I am not a professional editor so feel free to use or discard any suggestions. These are just my impressions of what I am reviewing.

TITLE: The title, like the story, throws us right into the new president's first day. It really doesn't tell us what to expect, but I am glad it doesn't or I would have missed out on some of the surprise twists.

PLOT: We join Mary Soaring Eagle on her first day as president but from the moment she is sworn in, everything goes wrong. From the demands of an uncle who has promised favors to a special interest group, to an epidemic of a deadly disease,possible terrorism, lockdowns and a nuclear attack, Mary is faced with impossible situations that she is not equipped to handle.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT: We learn some facts about Mary but we don't really know her as well as we think we do until the twist at the end the story reveals her true situation in life.

FAVORITE PART or LINE: "Despite the air-conditioning, the room stank of stale air and desperation. " That's a great descriptive line.

READABILITY-GRAMMAR-PUNCTUATION: I saw no problems - so either there are none, or I was too engrossed in the plot to notice.

SUGGESTIONS:

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS: This is an amusing comedy that relates the problems and disasters faced by the first female president. These incidents might seem far-fetched in any year prior to 2020, but because it is 2020, they ring true enough and are presented in a comedic way, allowing us to laugh at current predicaments. The fact that both the Russian and American leaders are women does little to support the theory that if women were in charge of the world, there would be no wars, considering the fact that the Russian president launched a first strike nuclear attack aimed at wiping out the US. Mary declines to launch US missiles to stop the attacks because innocent people might die in Russia without giving much thought to how many innocent people will die in her own country. When Mary awakes to find it is all a dream, both Mary and the reader are relieved and are glad she is going to give up politics. Who can blame her?

I enjoyed reading the dramatic, yet comic, adventures of Mary Soaring Eagle.



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68
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Review of The Diagnosis  Open in new Window.
Review by Ned Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi, my name is Ned Author IconMail Icon and these are just my thoughts after reading your story "The DiagnosisOpen in new Window.. These are my personal opinions and I am not a professional editor so feel free to use or discard any suggestions. These are just my impressions of what I am reviewing.

TITLE: The title works because it relates directly to the plot but doesn't reveal the complex tale we are about to read. And, of course, it is the diagnosis that leads to the events that unfold.

PLOT: The plot appears deceptively simple - a man who has a terminal diagnosis hires a hitman to kill him so his family can have his insurance money and won't have to endure long months of watching him suffer. He works as an accountant and knows someone unsavory who can help him arrange it. He meets the hitman, but we later realize that we weren't privy to all the details of the arrangement. As the story progresses, we learn more about his life, the dynamics of his marriage and his sorrow over its breakdown. We start to feel sorry for him, even hope he won't go through with it, then we are hit with the twist - he's arranged for his wife to be killed, too. All that nobility of self-sacrifice vanishes in an instant as we learn of the true nature of the hitman's contract. Then, as if one twist weren't enough, we are treated to a final twist - information that, had it been known, would have cancelled all the events that preceded it.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT: All of the characters are well-drawn and believable.

The main character, Duncan, appears at first to be a sympathetic and altruistic character, but, as in real life, people are often more complex and less eager to sacrifice for others. He uses the situation to seek revenge and not to save his family from emotional pain as he lets on. In fact, although he professes love for his daughter, he seems to give no thought as to how his actions will affect her. There are some very nice touches that make this character utterly believable, such as his attempts to distract himself with television and even the snippets of Wheel of Fortune that are included. He gets nervous, thinks about locking the door and so, locking out the hitman and calling it off.

The hitman also has us thinking that he's an honorable fellow. He seems to feel sorry for Duncan and offers that perhaps Duncan should think about it for a few more months before going through with it, that he might change his mind. This turns out to be prophetic, though we have no inkling at this point in the story. When it comes to the deed, however, the hitman is all ruthless efficiency and attention to detail, even when it means causing more pain to Duncan in performing his job so that the murder scene raises no questions. In this, he is still behaving honorably, according to his own code. He even carries out the wish of Duncan for his wife to know that he found out about her affair and it is Duncan who is having her killed in revenge.

The other minor characters are well-drawn with a good amount of detail (especially, the waitress) and ring true. We don't get to know the daughter too well, and this is a good decision since she is the true victim of Duncan's scheme, as she may well find the bodies and is left an orphan. Better not to think too much about her.

FAVORITE PART or LINE: Personally, I am a big fan of the "twist at the end" kind of story, the sort that Rod Serling would find worthy. This story provides not one, but two twists. Early on on the story, I suspected that it would turn out that he wasn't terminal and would find out too late, so that twist wasn't as surprising. But even I got suckered in by Duncan's nostalgia for the good days of his marriage and wanting to be close to his wife and never once saw the possibility of his arranging for her to be murdered, too. That was the twist that got me. Then, the news I expected didn't come until after both were killed, and only the hitman knew the truth.

READABILITY-GRAMMAR-PUNCTUATION:The word "the" seems out of place, maybe accidentally left after an edit? "Thinking it was some the stomach flu or an ulcer."


SUGGESTIONS: There was only one spot that made me stop in my reading flow. It is the word "remembered". As in: "...she looked towards the table near the window and remembered the office telephone" and "Remembering the cell phone in her purse" Two remembers and two telephones within a sentence or two of one another. It made me stop, to check I hadn't messed up and started reading the same part again.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS: This is a suspenseful story, a true twisted tale that feeds us great details and builds the plot and reveals the characters bit by bit. The reader is never bored but eager to see what happens next.

The first time I read the ending, I wondered why the hitman played the messages - as it seems an unlikely thing for a hitman to do at the scene of the killing. I thought that the message should play so that only the reader knows it was all for nothing. But then, I realized that this is just one more brilliant stroke.

No one in this story gets out unscathed. Duncan is not killed quickly or painlessly as he requested, the wife is not getting away with her affair and pays for it, and the hitman who is all about the job but in an honorable way finds out at the end that the whole reason for hiring him turned out to be untrue. So perhaps, even the hitman walks away from this with some regret, if he has some conscience, perhaps this will bother it? That may just be my personal notion, but somewhat supported by the hitman suggesting Duncan wait. One assumes the hitman usually kills other criminals.

Overall, this is a well-written story with believable characters. It is filled with delicious detail that lends realism and provides some intriguing twists that make the ending as interesting as the beginning. I enjoyed reading The Diagnosis.





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69
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Review of Forever  Open in new Window.
Review by Ned Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, my name is Ned Author IconMail Icon and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.


*CheckB* TITLE: The title of the poem echoes the last line. It is a statement of intent as well as a projection of time.

*CheckR* FORM: The poem is in free verse with no set metrical scheme

*CheckG* RHYTHM/RHYME: None

*CheckP* IMAGERY: There is some interesting imagery with surprising combinations of words and phrases in the author's attempt to explain the feelings of love and the efforts of the author to convey devotion. Example:"My heart has whispered your name"

*CheckR* FAVORITE LINE(S):
I have held your soul gently in my hands
Singing it softly

*CheckB* SUGGESTIONS: As the lines above suggest, I could definitely see this poem set to music. It reads like song lyrics in places. If the author is at all musical, it might be worth trying. For me, the last two stanzas feel a little weaker than those preceding - they use repetition and don't add anything new to the feelings expressed above them.

*CheckP* OVERALL IMPRESSION: This is a heartfelt poem that expresses a "forever" devotion and love using poetic language.
The author promises to be there for all time and in all places, whenever needed. That and the line "Let go of my hand... and know I will always be there" could indicate that the object of the poet's affection is no longer in close proximity. This suggests lovers who are separated or a parent/child relationship. The poem does a good job of expressing deep love in a unique way.




** Image ID #1578663 Unavailable **



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Review of QUARANTINED  Open in new Window.
Review by Ned Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, my name is Ned Author IconMail Icon and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.


*CheckB* TITLE: The title is a word so familiar to us in this age of Covid, it provides a hook to draw the reader in.

*CheckR* FORM: The poem is well-structured and written in quatrains.

*CheckG* RHYTHM/RHYME: The rhyme scheme is a/b/a/b throughout. The rhymes flow well and at times are used to enhance the comical nature of the poem.

*CheckP* Imagery: The poem uses descriptive language that paints the possible scenes for the birthday party that the author seeks to plan. I had no difficulty in visualizing these different party venues as they go through the author's mind.

*CheckR* FAVORITE LINE(S):
"Can I craft a birthday cake
Free of viral sin
Perhaps an icing flavored with
Hydroxychloroquine"


I think there ought to be a special prize for such a clever way of working the word "hydroxychloroquine" into the poem and double prize for such a clever rhyme. This is the most amusing part of the poem.

*CheckB* SUGGESTIONS: None

*CheckP* Overall Impression: This light-hearted poem is a delightful mix of comedy and current events. While there is much hardship and worry that crowd the headlines and the disruption of life can be stressful and depressing, this poem finds a little fun in the difficulty of planning a party while under lockdown A thoroughly enjoyable read.




** Image ID #1578663 Unavailable **



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Review of Who Would You Be?  Open in new Window.
Review by Ned Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, my name is Ned Author IconMail Icon and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.


Title: The title is a challenge to the reader, and so requires an investment from the reader, involving the reader in the subject at hand.

Form: The poem uses quatrains with an a/a/b/b rhyme scheme, with groups of 8 quatrains ended with a couplet.

Rhythm/Rhyme: The rhythm is fairly consistent and the rhymes flow well for the most part.

Imagery: There are a few bits of figurative speech, such as "the wolf's in the fold" but the poem is more of a call to action than poetic exposition, so this is all that is required.

Favorite Line(s):
We are Americans: we don't bend the knee;
We may all die fighting, but at least we die free!


Suggestions: None. The poem is an expression of political opinion.

Overall Impression: The poem is a call to action, and is reminiscent of the types of political exhortations that were published in pamphlet form prior to the American Revolution. It has that same fervor and conviction and the sentiments and opinions are well expressed while aimed at eliciting a commitment from the reader.


** Image ID #1578663 Unavailable **



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Review of Two Parachutists  Open in new Window.
Review by Ned Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, my name is Ned Author IconMail Icon } and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.


Title: The title is our introduction to the poem, and the title here is succinct and lets the reader know the subject.

Form: The poem is structured into 4 line stanzas with a definite rhyme scheme.

Rhythm/Rhyme: The rhymes flow well, the rhythm is even and both add to the comedic tone of the poem.

Imagery: The imagery is vivid and imaginative.

Favorite Line(s):
Yet the two parachutes which remained in the street
were as limp as regret in the mid-summer heat.


An example of excellent imagery in the poem.

Suggestions: None, really. I just wish I knew what happened to them after that.

Overall Impression: This is a well-structured, imaginative and amusing poem. The prompt it was written to is not noted here, so I have to guess it had to do with parachutes, perhaps even "two parachutists". I liked the comedic story line of the poem and it was an enjoyable read.


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Review by Ned Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi, my name is Ned Author IconMail Icon and these are just my thoughts after reading your story {item:}. These are my personal opinions and I am not a professional editor so feel free to use or discard any suggestions. This is just my impressions of what I am reviewing.

Overall Impressions: An interesting use of the prompt to create an enjoyable story.

Plot: This is a flash fiction (fewer than 300 words). It's not easy to establish setting and roll out the plot with such limitations on length but the author accomplished that nicely. Good job.

Favorite Part or Line: With flash fiction, my favorite part is always the twist at the end. This story contains such a twist that gives the reader something unexpected.

Readability-Grammar-Punctuation: I didn't notice any problems in that area.

Suggestions: I don't really have any. It's my preference to have the plot twist come as close to the end of the piece as possible and I think this story accomplishes that.



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Review of Memories of Home  Open in new Window.
Review by Ned Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, my name is Ned Author IconMail Icon } and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.


Title: The title here is fitting and lets us know this poem is about someone far from home in time or place.

Form: The structured quatrain form works well for this poem.

Rhythm/Rhyme: The rhythm is even and the rhymes flow without any effort on the part of the reader.

Imagery: The imagery is effective. The reader experiences the loneliness, the yearning to be with loved ones at the holidays competing with sense of duty and purpose.

Favorite Line(s):
He should be home; husband and Dad
are parts of life that are worthwhile.


Extremely important sentiment. Highlights the inner struggle between competing duties.


Overall Impression: An effective poem that tugs at the heartstrings for anyone missing family and highlighting the emotional toll that overseas deployments have on troops and families. It's also a Christmas poem, which makes the subject's loneliness even more relatable.


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Review of Ode to the Editor  Open in new Window.
Review by Ned Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, my name is Ned Author IconMail Icon } and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.


Title: The title is our introduction to the poem, and the title immediately points us to the subject of the poem, one familiar to writers.


Rhythm/Rhyme: The rhymes flow well with the poem and the rhythm goes off just a bit on the ending two lines where they become much shorter. The question: is this on purpose?

Imagery: The imagery of the editor as one of a destructive force, slashing and burning is effective and will resonate with the writer/reader.

Favorite Line(s):
He strode through the jungle of wordage

This is something that both the writer, trying to proofread his own work, and the editor will relate to. A jungle of wordage is also something a reviewer might come across, or any reader for that matter. This line justifies the editor's existence.

Suggestions: It's not important, but "acres" was a vague image for me, more vague than if it said "pages" or "volumes" for instance, to keep the imagery focused on writing.

Overall Impression: This is an amusing poem that will resonate with writers. I personally feel that the much abbreviated last two lines got that way because of a merciless editor reducing them to the essential, so for me, this is a brilliant stroke. If it was not meant to be so, never tell me, I will be crushed.


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