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224 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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51
51
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, my name is Ned and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.


*CheckB* TITLE: The title says it all, the yearning for the cozy chair - who couldn't relate to that?

*CheckR* FORM: The poem is written in the form of a sonnet, with 12 lines of ten syllables and a couplet.

*CheckG* RHYTHM/RHYME: The rhyme scheme is a/b/a/b Most of the rhymes flow well, the meter is a little off here and there but the overall flow of the poem is fine.

*CheckP* IMAGERY: The imagery of the comfy chair versus that of the less comfortable campsite is well drawn

*CheckR* FAVORITE LINE(S): "Beside the cozy fireplace, a chair
Sits patiently awaiting my return." This is such a homey picture, I wish I were there.


*CheckP* OVERALL IMPRESSION: This is a comic poem done in a traditional style which adds to its comic appeal. Anyone who has been camping and missed the comforts of home will relate to the author's predicament. It's a fun read.


Keep On Writing!

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52
52
Review of Good Fortune  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a deeply painful experience the author is writing about. There is heartache from the breakup, but it never really heals because he keeps coming back and rekindling hope. This is the part that is the most painful, and yet, the author seems to be resigned to these unresolved feelings and open-ended relationship that is on-again, off-again. The author does a good job of relating these feelings in a way that the reader actually feels somewhat angry for her at times and then ultimately, melancholy.

The only problem with the writing that I noticed was the word "tune" was misspelled as "toon".

A heart-rending piece of writing that readers will relate to. Well done.


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53
53
Review of “Look Away”  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a structured poem of quatrains with a consistent rhyme scheme of abab throughout.

The poem reflects a feeling of fear over the data mining of social media and the intrusive nature of the modern technology that has become a way of life for most people. The poem expresses a bit of paranoia about exposure that doesn't seem irrational or undeserved. These are feeling that many people can relate to.
These lines
"It was you but only you
Who fed 'Big Data' bots
Letting trackers through
Accessing all you got"

put the blame for this exposure squarely on the user who has allowed it to happen.

Food for thought in this computerized and global age of information sharing. We would all do well to take care


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
54
54
Review of Getting Even  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi, my name is Ned and these are just my thoughts after reading your story "Getting Even. These are my personal opinions and I am not a professional editor so feel free to use or discard any suggestions. These are just my impressions of what I am reviewing.

TITLE: The title describes the point of the story very well.

PLOT: The plot involves a jewel thief, a break up and revenge all in a short, short story.


READABILITY-GRAMMAR-PUNCTUATION: The only problem I noted was the misspelling of "loser" as "looser".


OVERALL IMPRESSIONS: This is a micro-fiction There's no word count included but it's quite a short piece The author does a good job of fitting a lot of story and background into this very short story. The prompt is used well and creatively. We learn a lot about the character of the ex-boyfriend, or lack of character, which makes the reader just as happy as the narrating character when she finds a way to exact her revenge. Peter deserves to be turned in to the police.



This was a tight little story with a lot of detail packed into a short word count.
Great Job.

Keep On Writing!

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55
55
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi, my name is Ned and these are just my thoughts after reading your story "A Random Act of Kindness. These are my personal opinions and I am not a professional editor so feel free to use or discard any suggestions. These are just my impressions of what I am reviewing.

TITLE: The title sums up the point of the story without giving away anything about the story. I was surprised.

PLOT: The main character is at some medical clinic to procure a leg. Based on his musing, we understand that he has lost both legs but has only had a replacement for one. He seems to have lost his leg in the military and this is some type of military establishment. The time and place are not specified, but we know this is science fiction.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT: As the story progresses, we learn more about the main character and how he came to be legless. Joe is an amusing storyteller and observer.

FAVORITE PART or LINE: "His other leg hadn’t retired, it had merely absconded during battle." Love the idea of the leg absconding.

READABILITY-GRAMMAR-PUNCTUATION: I didn't see any problems, the story reads well.


OVERALL IMPRESSIONS: This is an amusing story with a surprise moral at the end that I did not see coming, even though it was the title of the item. I became engrossed in the twists of who had whose legs - the story has shades of Douglas Adams. A fun little story that I enjoyed reading.

Keep On Writing!

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56
56
Review of Toressa  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, my name is Ned and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.


*CheckB* TITLE: The title is the name of the object of affection. The name is pretty and unusual, which often makes a name, or a title, memorable.

*CheckR* FORM: The item is song lyrics and is written in quatrains.

*CheckG* RHYTHM/RHYME: The rhyme scheme is complex. The verses have internal rhymes in lines 1 and 3, with end of line rhymes on 2 and 4. This is done quite deftly without making the lines awkward while conveying a lot of emotion and meaning. There is a refrain that repeats between verses and is sometimes preceded by "Toressa, Toressa".

*CheckP* IMAGERY: There is a good deal of imagery worked into the verses, while the refrain is much more straightforward. Lines like "The gentle rain plays out your name" highlight the claim that "you're with me everywhere I go" as the author sees Toressa's face in the clouds and hears her voice in the trees.

*CheckR* FAVORITE LINE(S):
"I close my eyes and hear your sighs
As whispers from the leaves"

This is a fine bit of imaginative and expressive language that really "sings".

*CheckB* SUGGESTIONS: I think the following lines are fine as they are, but I feel that they could be stronger with just a word change or two that would not change the meaning, but strengthen the feelings expressed.

"Your gentle touch I love so much
Comes lightly with each breeze."

I wonder if you feel that a more visceral word for "love" would be appropriate? - something that expresses more need, because the singer is telling us that he sees his love everywhere and everything reminds him of her, so his feelings must be strong.


*CheckP* OVERALL IMPRESSION: I can definitely "hear" the song in these lyrics though I don't have a tune for them and can only read them. There are some expressive, poetic descriptions of the ways the singer sees, hears and feels the object of affection everywhere and in all different circumstances. The imagery is effective, the rhymes are solid and there is a lilt to the language without even having any music to accompany the words. Great job. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this item.


Keep On Writing!

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57
57
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, my name is Ned and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.


*CheckB* TITLE: The title gives us a hint about the subject of the poem, without telling us how the author feels about the digital world.

*CheckR* FORM: This is a well-structured poem in quatrains

*CheckG* RHYTHM/RHYME: The rhyme scheme is consistently a/b/c/b throughout. The rhymes flow well and add to the comic aspects of the poem.

*CheckP* IMAGERY: Imagery is used differently than it is usually used in a poem. Here, the author uses the imagery and descriptive phrases to lament the object (an old-fashioned clock) that he does not have and is not part of "Living in a Digital World". Every time he writes phrases that relate to an analog clock, he realizes that they are not applicable to his situation. We can nearly hear his frustration.

*CheckR* FAVORITE LINE(S): “The old clock spoke in rhyme.”

*CheckB* SUGGESTIONS: None. Though there are cliched phrases here, they are used to convey nostalgia and so are very effective to achieving the poem's aim.

*CheckP* OVERALL IMPRESSION: This is an amusing, light-hearted poem that expresses the dissatisfaction with digital technology that many people feel and so is a piece that many readers will relate to and also cheer its message.


Keep On Writing!

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58
58
Review of Madam President  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi, my name is Ned and these are just my thoughts after reading your story "Madam President. These are my personal opinions and I am not a professional editor so feel free to use or discard any suggestions. These are just my impressions of what I am reviewing.

TITLE: The title, like the story, throws us right into the new president's first day. It really doesn't tell us what to expect, but I am glad it doesn't or I would have missed out on some of the surprise twists.

PLOT: We join Mary Soaring Eagle on her first day as president but from the moment she is sworn in, everything goes wrong. From the demands of an uncle who has promised favors to a special interest group, to an epidemic of a deadly disease,possible terrorism, lockdowns and a nuclear attack, Mary is faced with impossible situations that she is not equipped to handle.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT: We learn some facts about Mary but we don't really know her as well as we think we do until the twist at the end the story reveals her true situation in life.

FAVORITE PART or LINE: "Despite the air-conditioning, the room stank of stale air and desperation. " That's a great descriptive line.

READABILITY-GRAMMAR-PUNCTUATION: I saw no problems - so either there are none, or I was too engrossed in the plot to notice.

SUGGESTIONS:

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS: This is an amusing comedy that relates the problems and disasters faced by the first female president. These incidents might seem far-fetched in any year prior to 2020, but because it is 2020, they ring true enough and are presented in a comedic way, allowing us to laugh at current predicaments. The fact that both the Russian and American leaders are women does little to support the theory that if women were in charge of the world, there would be no wars, considering the fact that the Russian president launched a first strike nuclear attack aimed at wiping out the US. Mary declines to launch US missiles to stop the attacks because innocent people might die in Russia without giving much thought to how many innocent people will die in her own country. When Mary awakes to find it is all a dream, both Mary and the reader are relieved and are glad she is going to give up politics. Who can blame her?

I enjoyed reading the dramatic, yet comic, adventures of Mary Soaring Eagle.



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59
59
Review of The Diagnosis  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi, my name is Ned and these are just my thoughts after reading your story "The Diagnosis. These are my personal opinions and I am not a professional editor so feel free to use or discard any suggestions. These are just my impressions of what I am reviewing.

TITLE: The title works because it relates directly to the plot but doesn't reveal the complex tale we are about to read. And, of course, it is the diagnosis that leads to the events that unfold.

PLOT: The plot appears deceptively simple - a man who has a terminal diagnosis hires a hitman to kill him so his family can have his insurance money and won't have to endure long months of watching him suffer. He works as an accountant and knows someone unsavory who can help him arrange it. He meets the hitman, but we later realize that we weren't privy to all the details of the arrangement. As the story progresses, we learn more about his life, the dynamics of his marriage and his sorrow over its breakdown. We start to feel sorry for him, even hope he won't go through with it, then we are hit with the twist - he's arranged for his wife to be killed, too. All that nobility of self-sacrifice vanishes in an instant as we learn of the true nature of the hitman's contract. Then, as if one twist weren't enough, we are treated to a final twist - information that, had it been known, would have cancelled all the events that preceded it.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT: All of the characters are well-drawn and believable.

The main character, Duncan, appears at first to be a sympathetic and altruistic character, but, as in real life, people are often more complex and less eager to sacrifice for others. He uses the situation to seek revenge and not to save his family from emotional pain as he lets on. In fact, although he professes love for his daughter, he seems to give no thought as to how his actions will affect her. There are some very nice touches that make this character utterly believable, such as his attempts to distract himself with television and even the snippets of Wheel of Fortune that are included. He gets nervous, thinks about locking the door and so, locking out the hitman and calling it off.

The hitman also has us thinking that he's an honorable fellow. He seems to feel sorry for Duncan and offers that perhaps Duncan should think about it for a few more months before going through with it, that he might change his mind. This turns out to be prophetic, though we have no inkling at this point in the story. When it comes to the deed, however, the hitman is all ruthless efficiency and attention to detail, even when it means causing more pain to Duncan in performing his job so that the murder scene raises no questions. In this, he is still behaving honorably, according to his own code. He even carries out the wish of Duncan for his wife to know that he found out about her affair and it is Duncan who is having her killed in revenge.

The other minor characters are well-drawn with a good amount of detail (especially, the waitress) and ring true. We don't get to know the daughter too well, and this is a good decision since she is the true victim of Duncan's scheme, as she may well find the bodies and is left an orphan. Better not to think too much about her.

FAVORITE PART or LINE: Personally, I am a big fan of the "twist at the end" kind of story, the sort that Rod Serling would find worthy. This story provides not one, but two twists. Early on on the story, I suspected that it would turn out that he wasn't terminal and would find out too late, so that twist wasn't as surprising. But even I got suckered in by Duncan's nostalgia for the good days of his marriage and wanting to be close to his wife and never once saw the possibility of his arranging for her to be murdered, too. That was the twist that got me. Then, the news I expected didn't come until after both were killed, and only the hitman knew the truth.

READABILITY-GRAMMAR-PUNCTUATION:The word "the" seems out of place, maybe accidentally left after an edit? "Thinking it was some the stomach flu or an ulcer."


SUGGESTIONS: There was only one spot that made me stop in my reading flow. It is the word "remembered". As in: "...she looked towards the table near the window and remembered the office telephone" and "Remembering the cell phone in her purse" Two remembers and two telephones within a sentence or two of one another. It made me stop, to check I hadn't messed up and started reading the same part again.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS: This is a suspenseful story, a true twisted tale that feeds us great details and builds the plot and reveals the characters bit by bit. The reader is never bored but eager to see what happens next.

The first time I read the ending, I wondered why the hitman played the messages - as it seems an unlikely thing for a hitman to do at the scene of the killing. I thought that the message should play so that only the reader knows it was all for nothing. But then, I realized that this is just one more brilliant stroke.

No one in this story gets out unscathed. Duncan is not killed quickly or painlessly as he requested, the wife is not getting away with her affair and pays for it, and the hitman who is all about the job but in an honorable way finds out at the end that the whole reason for hiring him turned out to be untrue. So perhaps, even the hitman walks away from this with some regret, if he has some conscience, perhaps this will bother it? That may just be my personal notion, but somewhat supported by the hitman suggesting Duncan wait. One assumes the hitman usually kills other criminals.

Overall, this is a well-written story with believable characters. It is filled with delicious detail that lends realism and provides some intriguing twists that make the ending as interesting as the beginning. I enjoyed reading The Diagnosis.





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60
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Review of Forever  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, my name is Ned and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.


*CheckB* TITLE: The title of the poem echoes the last line. It is a statement of intent as well as a projection of time.

*CheckR* FORM: The poem is in free verse with no set metrical scheme

*CheckG* RHYTHM/RHYME: None

*CheckP* IMAGERY: There is some interesting imagery with surprising combinations of words and phrases in the author's attempt to explain the feelings of love and the efforts of the author to convey devotion. Example:"My heart has whispered your name"

*CheckR* FAVORITE LINE(S):
I have held your soul gently in my hands
Singing it softly

*CheckB* SUGGESTIONS: As the lines above suggest, I could definitely see this poem set to music. It reads like song lyrics in places. If the author is at all musical, it might be worth trying. For me, the last two stanzas feel a little weaker than those preceding - they use repetition and don't add anything new to the feelings expressed above them.

*CheckP* OVERALL IMPRESSION: This is a heartfelt poem that expresses a "forever" devotion and love using poetic language.
The author promises to be there for all time and in all places, whenever needed. That and the line "Let go of my hand... and know I will always be there" could indicate that the object of the poet's affection is no longer in close proximity. This suggests lovers who are separated or a parent/child relationship. The poem does a good job of expressing deep love in a unique way.




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61
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Review of QUARANTINED  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, my name is Ned and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.


*CheckB* TITLE: The title is a word so familiar to us in this age of Covid, it provides a hook to draw the reader in.

*CheckR* FORM: The poem is well-structured and written in quatrains.

*CheckG* RHYTHM/RHYME: The rhyme scheme is a/b/a/b throughout. The rhymes flow well and at times are used to enhance the comical nature of the poem.

*CheckP* Imagery: The poem uses descriptive language that paints the possible scenes for the birthday party that the author seeks to plan. I had no difficulty in visualizing these different party venues as they go through the author's mind.

*CheckR* FAVORITE LINE(S):
"Can I craft a birthday cake
Free of viral sin
Perhaps an icing flavored with
Hydroxychloroquine"


I think there ought to be a special prize for such a clever way of working the word "hydroxychloroquine" into the poem and double prize for such a clever rhyme. This is the most amusing part of the poem.

*CheckB* SUGGESTIONS: None

*CheckP* Overall Impression: This light-hearted poem is a delightful mix of comedy and current events. While there is much hardship and worry that crowd the headlines and the disruption of life can be stressful and depressing, this poem finds a little fun in the difficulty of planning a party while under lockdown A thoroughly enjoyable read.




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62
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Review of Who Would You Be?  
Review by Ned
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, my name is Ned and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.


Title: The title is a challenge to the reader, and so requires an investment from the reader, involving the reader in the subject at hand.

Form: The poem uses quatrains with an a/a/b/b rhyme scheme, with groups of 8 quatrains ended with a couplet.

Rhythm/Rhyme: The rhythm is fairly consistent and the rhymes flow well for the most part.

Imagery: There are a few bits of figurative speech, such as "the wolf's in the fold" but the poem is more of a call to action than poetic exposition, so this is all that is required.

Favorite Line(s):
We are Americans: we don't bend the knee;
We may all die fighting, but at least we die free!


Suggestions: None. The poem is an expression of political opinion.

Overall Impression: The poem is a call to action, and is reminiscent of the types of political exhortations that were published in pamphlet form prior to the American Revolution. It has that same fervor and conviction and the sentiments and opinions are well expressed while aimed at eliciting a commitment from the reader.


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63
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Review of Two Parachutists  
Review by Ned
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, my name is Ned } and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.


Title: The title is our introduction to the poem, and the title here is succinct and lets the reader know the subject.

Form: The poem is structured into 4 line stanzas with a definite rhyme scheme.

Rhythm/Rhyme: The rhymes flow well, the rhythm is even and both add to the comedic tone of the poem.

Imagery: The imagery is vivid and imaginative.

Favorite Line(s):
Yet the two parachutes which remained in the street
were as limp as regret in the mid-summer heat.


An example of excellent imagery in the poem.

Suggestions: None, really. I just wish I knew what happened to them after that.

Overall Impression: This is a well-structured, imaginative and amusing poem. The prompt it was written to is not noted here, so I have to guess it had to do with parachutes, perhaps even "two parachutists". I liked the comedic story line of the poem and it was an enjoyable read.


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64
64
Review by Ned
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi, my name is Ned and these are just my thoughts after reading your story {item:}. These are my personal opinions and I am not a professional editor so feel free to use or discard any suggestions. This is just my impressions of what I am reviewing.

Overall Impressions: An interesting use of the prompt to create an enjoyable story.

Plot: This is a flash fiction (fewer than 300 words). It's not easy to establish setting and roll out the plot with such limitations on length but the author accomplished that nicely. Good job.

Favorite Part or Line: With flash fiction, my favorite part is always the twist at the end. This story contains such a twist that gives the reader something unexpected.

Readability-Grammar-Punctuation: I didn't notice any problems in that area.

Suggestions: I don't really have any. It's my preference to have the plot twist come as close to the end of the piece as possible and I think this story accomplishes that.



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65
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Review of Memories of Home  
Review by Ned
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, my name is Ned } and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.


Title: The title here is fitting and lets us know this poem is about someone far from home in time or place.

Form: The structured quatrain form works well for this poem.

Rhythm/Rhyme: The rhythm is even and the rhymes flow without any effort on the part of the reader.

Imagery: The imagery is effective. The reader experiences the loneliness, the yearning to be with loved ones at the holidays competing with sense of duty and purpose.

Favorite Line(s):
He should be home; husband and Dad
are parts of life that are worthwhile.


Extremely important sentiment. Highlights the inner struggle between competing duties.


Overall Impression: An effective poem that tugs at the heartstrings for anyone missing family and highlighting the emotional toll that overseas deployments have on troops and families. It's also a Christmas poem, which makes the subject's loneliness even more relatable.


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66
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Review of Ode to the Editor  
Review by Ned
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, my name is Ned } and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.


Title: The title is our introduction to the poem, and the title immediately points us to the subject of the poem, one familiar to writers.


Rhythm/Rhyme: The rhymes flow well with the poem and the rhythm goes off just a bit on the ending two lines where they become much shorter. The question: is this on purpose?

Imagery: The imagery of the editor as one of a destructive force, slashing and burning is effective and will resonate with the writer/reader.

Favorite Line(s):
He strode through the jungle of wordage

This is something that both the writer, trying to proofread his own work, and the editor will relate to. A jungle of wordage is also something a reviewer might come across, or any reader for that matter. This line justifies the editor's existence.

Suggestions: It's not important, but "acres" was a vague image for me, more vague than if it said "pages" or "volumes" for instance, to keep the imagery focused on writing.

Overall Impression: This is an amusing poem that will resonate with writers. I personally feel that the much abbreviated last two lines got that way because of a merciless editor reducing them to the essential, so for me, this is a brilliant stroke. If it was not meant to be so, never tell me, I will be crushed.


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67
67
Review of Honing the Craft  
for entry "Week 3. May Flowers
Review by Ned
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, my name is Ned } and this review is based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.


Title: The title is our introduction to the poem, and the title is perfect in the way it completes the last line. This gives us a sense of completeness. Leaving those two words off the last line lets the reader fill in the blanks and appreciate the clever use of a well-known phrase.

Form: The form is free verse and it works well for this poem.

Rhythm/Rhyme: There is no rhyme but the alliteration gives a certain rhythm that one can feel in reading aloud.

Imagery: Some of the imagery strikes a chord - daisies do dance or at least seem to as they bob their heads.

Favorite Line(s):
"A riot of red rimmed roses rise" which is a fine bit of alliteration and use of expressive language. It's almost too much alliteration but the near rhyme in the next line smooths and soothes while directing our gaze upwards.

Suggestions:I would have preferred that the poem took just one color, the one with the boldest imagery and really made us look and see it. The other lines involving color and the flowers associated with those colors are well written and expressive, but I want to hear more about the riot of roses, and the other flowers are much more tame such as the passive peonies.

Overall Impression: This was a different use of the prompt but one that painted a vivid picture and ended on a very clever note.


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68
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Review of The Storm  
Review by Ned
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, my name is Ned } and this review is just based on my personal impressions and opinions. Feel free to take what you think is useful, and ignore the rest. This is just my way of letting the author know how this reader reacted to the item being reviewed.


Title: The title is the introduction to the poem, and the title "The Storm" well describes what the reader is about to experience.


Form: The poem is in a free verse style which suits the unpredictability of the storm and allows the writer to emphasize the elements of the storm with word placement and line breaks, so this is a good choice for the subject matter.


Rhythm/Rhyme: This poem contains no rhymes as it is free verse. The rhythm and flow is a bit variable for me, if I read aloud. It is strongest in the beginning few lines and perfectly ebbs in the last few lines echoing the subsiding of the storm.


Imagery: The imagery definitely evokes the stages of a heavy storm in a way the reader can experience it.


Favorite Line(s):
Raindrops
pound heavily
like wet rags
slapping against flesh


These lines are truly evocative and make the reader "hear" the rain and set the tone for the poem. These lines contain the strongest imagery in the poem. I really liked these lines and the "sound" of them rings true for me.


Suggestions: The opening lines and the end of the poem felt the most effective to me. I didn't feel the imagery as strongly in the middle, although I was kept in the storm for the most part.

Overall Impression: The poem does a good job of capturing the sounds and energy of the storm.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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for entry "Week 3 - W/E 6/21/20
Review by Ned
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I chose this poem to review because of the obvious contrast between form and subject matter. To use a lilting, musical form like the rondeau to write about vampires makes it all a bit more fun. It's a little like the gory rhymes we recite as children. Notwithstanding the comedic factor, the phrase "the beauty of blood" gives the poem atmosphere and allows us to see complexity in the vampire, perhaps even evokes sympathy and understanding.

My favorite line:
It's hard to explain to a priest
the beauty of blood.


Don't we all have habits or predilections we wouldn't want to try to explain to a moral authority? But it's this line that indicates that the vampire is not without conscience as he claims. His morality has not ceased, it is just that he is overwhelmed by "the beauty of blood". And yet, we cannot ignore that the priest finds beauty and redemption in blood from a different source, a willing sacrifice that the priest celebrates. The vampire, on the other hand, will never have redemption. Another contrast.

Fun use of the prompt and enjoyable to read.

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Review of Three words  
Review by Ned
Rated: E | (4.0)
Such a tender little story. Coincidentally, I once wrote a love story that took place in a coffee shop. There are a lot of nice touches in the presentation of the characters. The reader likes them and hopes things will go well for them. The situation is believable and reminiscent of the settings of many a Hallmark Movie. The piece could benefit from a little cleaning up of spacing and grammar, but everything about it rings true. I know it's a short story, but it could be expanded into something longer.
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for entry "Neighbors
Review by Ned
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This reminds me of the time my young nephew spotted the neighbor on her lawn. She had fallen from a ladder and broken her hip and was unable to move. It was only because this little boy spotted her and ran in the house yelling "Call 911" that she was found and got help. Like the story in your poem, it was the attention of neighbor that brought help and saved the day.

And now, even though you can only wave, you have communication. And a friendship that is now deeper due to the crisis.

The poem and the rhymes have a good flow. The repetition of the last line provides an anchor to the poem while the circumstances change in every stanza. It all works very well.
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Review by Ned
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I really liked this story. We understand Tom, whose life is upended by the death of his wife and everything changes for him. We start to get comfortable in his new relationship with Helen and then we are hit with the surprise twist as Tom discovers that she is a serial murderer. But there is a sense that even though he won't be seeing Helen anymore and even though he narrowly escaped being her next victim, that she did him a world of good and hes not going to go back to being barely alive. That's my take anyway, and so this cautionary tale still has a happy ending - in a way.
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Review by Ned
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
All I can say is thank goodness I haven't got a muse. I like the twist, and the shift in the balance of power between them, the way they negotiate and the concept of all the muses going on strike. But I am pretty sure the work will go on without him, a muse is really just what the writer calls his imagination and you have no lack of imagination.
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Review of Promptly Poetry  
for entry "Waving to a Neighbour
Review by Ned
Rated: E | (5.0)
The dilemma of one who is unpracticed in social ease - what did that mean? was it meant for me? And the vast majority of society does not understand the absolute agony of the introvert, the one who is not anti-social so much as he is asocial, accustomed to his own invisibility yet suddenly put on the spot by an unexpected acknowledgment of his existence. Startled, unsure how to respond and when the decision to return the greeting is finally made, the moment has gone. All introverts will surely see themselves in this delightful poem.
The annoyance at the obligation to:
"o give a cheery wave,
or even say hello"

rings true even as the author weighs the options that could provide an alternate excuse for a wave or other type of greeting should the original gesture of friendliness turn out not to be directed at him.
Oh, how lucky are those people who never give a thought to what others think!
This poem does an able job of illustrating both the physical scene and the inner turmoil of the introvert with both honesty and humor. An enjoyable read!
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Review of Needles  
Review by Ned
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
It's always tough to get along with schoolmates, but this was Mean Girls on steroids! Nice twist to surprise and horrify the reader who thought he knew where this was going. Great job!
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