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211 Public Reviews Given
211 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Summertime  
Review by Ned
Rated: E | (5.0)
It's almost as good as listening to her sing it.
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102
Review by Ned
Rated: E | (4.0)
"It’s blood, not ink, in every line..." Such a descriptive way to explain the writing process and the writer's relationship to words and his work.
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103
Review by Ned
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
A heartwarming story of two very different individuals learning to share space and live in harmony. Thanks for sharing this tale from which we could all learn a lesson. Of course, we do see that in nature, one tree is home to many different creatures. Your poem makes is think about the relationships in nature.
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Review of The Proposal  
Review by Ned
Rated: E | (4.0)
A cute story with a happy ending. I like the way you used Carly as the link to the future, because otherwise we might forget about Carly as soon as she falls back to sleep. A nice way to use the innocence of childhood to showcase true caring, friendship and love. Personally, I love writing flash fiction, but I don't think I ever wrote a happy ending so this was refreshing.
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Review by Ned
Rated: E | (4.0)
The feelings of pain and abandonment come through very strongly in this piece. As I read it, I meet the child who has so many questions, and who wonders why his father didn't love him enough to stay with him. The poem takes us into anger and bitterness but in the end, saves us through the grace bestowed by a better Father, one who cares and does not leave. Excellent story-telling with an uplifting ending. I understand why the repeat of looking "up to the window" comes at the end to bring us full circle, but I can't help wanting to hear the reason for the change in your life (good marriage, good relationship with children) before we see the evidence of it. That is, I wonder if it might make for a better flow if the last two stanzas came before "I am older now...etc.." That way we see the different father at the window, then the difference in how that father behaves affects the way the child, now grown, behaves. Just a thought, the poem still works either way.
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Review by Ned
Rated: E | (4.0)
I enjoyed how the regrets and feelings of futility were expressed through the description of the falling of the leaves. A reminder of mortality, but also the need to feel that life counted and the fear of having no purpose. I understand the feeling of trailing thoughts conveyed through the use of the ellipse(...), but it can be overused, especially as many of the lines already have punctuation.
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