This is good flash fiction. At first, we believe that Alyssa is grieving over being dumped by Tom. Her actions and demeanor are convincing. Then we hear the phone message and all our assumptions are up-ended. I appreciate a flash fiction that surprises me and one that gives me a full and rich vision of the story while still being economical with words. That you did this in fewer than 300 words is impressive.
Your poem "Honor" reminds us all of the great sacrifices our veterans have made and still make for us today and encourages us to reflect on the great price they've paid to secure our liberty. I enjoyed the sentiments and the serious nature of this poem. Thank you for sharing.
The concept of the story is a fresh one and the story has what I think every flash fiction needs to be successful - a twist. You lead us to believe this will be a story about alien abduction but then pull the rug out from under our assumptions and instead we see a visit to the dentist through the eyes of an unwilling patient. Very amusing. One possible typo- was "I was lying of a table" supposed to be "on a table"?
This is a lovely poem in which your perceptions of God in nature are phrased in very expressive imagery. In fact, the imagery and language is so strong in stanzas 2,3,4,and 6, that the similes in the first and fifth stanza seem more timid in expression. That is, you say the trees stand tall, reach to heaven and sway. You declare the flowers dance and wave their petals. These are great ways to describe what we observe and to give meaning to their actions. It reminds me of the verse in Isaiah 55- "all the trees of the field shall clap their hands". But the use of the word "like" in the 1st and 5th stanzas weaken your creative imagery. If I had any advice to give at all, it would be to believe more in your imagery and remove the "like". That is, instead of "Like a mighty trumpet in God's ear" say "They are a mighty trumpet..." etc. In the first, just let the breeze be God whispering. I hope you understand my comments. I think your poem is very good and more confidence in your metaphors will make it perfect. I enjoyed reading it very much.
Some of the imagery here is very strong and moving and works well within the overall ocean theme. I won't pretend to understand all of the imagery, but the concept of desired communion and communication is clear and the comparison with the lack of understanding from the sea lion helps to make the point. I enjoyed reading this, thanks for sharing.
A nice little twisted tale - flash fiction should always have a twist at the end. The first thing you need for a good story is a gripping plot. I didn't understand the meaning of this line: "But sometimes bodies, because I couldn’t imagine people still being trapped in them...". Do you mean people still trapped in the vehicles or the bodies? Anyway, it's good story-telling.
This is a perfect Senryu. The last line is perfect in the way it captures the absurdity of human nature and our imperfect choices. I am very impressed as both haiku and senryu are so often done by those who do not truly understand the forms and their purposes.
That's quite a thrilling tale! And I am glad that I will never come face to face with lions, because I am also untrained in how to handle that situation. You tell it well and give plenty of detail. If I had one question it would be the "Lori". Do you mean a truck? If so, should that be "lorry"? Keep writing your adventures, especially if they are all this interesting.
A heartwarming story of two very different individuals learning to share space and live in harmony. Thanks for sharing this tale from which we could all learn a lesson. Of course, we do see that in nature, one tree is home to many different creatures. Your poem makes is think about the relationships in nature.
A cute story with a happy ending. I like the way you used Carly as the link to the future, because otherwise we might forget about Carly as soon as she falls back to sleep. A nice way to use the innocence of childhood to showcase true caring, friendship and love. Personally, I love writing flash fiction, but I don't think I ever wrote a happy ending so this was refreshing.
I enjoyed how the regrets and feelings of futility were expressed through the description of the falling of the leaves. A reminder of mortality, but also the need to feel that life counted and the fear of having no purpose. I understand the feeling of trailing thoughts conveyed through the use of the ellipse(...), but it can be overused, especially as many of the lines already have punctuation.
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