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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/notjackson
Review Requests: ON
71 Public Reviews Given
71 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I am not an expert reviewer, but I have some small amount of talent in the field of writing. I will not edit your work, but typos, grammar mistakes, etc. will be pointed out if I see them. I will give you my impression of your work, encourage you, and do my best to review the work.
I'm good at...
I do my best, whether I am good at it or not.
Favorite Genres
Action/adventure
Least Favorite Genres
Science fiction.
Favorite Item Types
Short stories and
Least Favorite Item Types
No least favorites.
I will not review...
Novels.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Spooky Mission  
Review by jackson
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi,
It's a good story, but you need to read it slowly, and check for spaces bwtween sentences. There are quite a few throughout the story. Other than that, I would rate it a five. It flows well, no spelling mistakes or other errors. Just check for spacing between sentences and it will be just fine.

regards
jackson
2
2
Review of Staged  
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (5.0)


         I cleared my earlier review of this item so I could review it again. It is well put together, but it is a little ambiguous as to what exactly is happening.

          I have a suggestion... You speak of (she) throughout this piece, it would be so much better if you put in a short sentence in the beginning to make the readers aware of what (she) is. They could connect to your words and feel as if they were part of the action.

          I am returning your gps, as I review freely.

regards,
jackson
3
3
Review by jackson
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

Hello Megan,

A long time ago, back in the sixties I saw a few of Audrey's movies. She was beautiful.

I enjoyed your story about her. It appears you did a lot of research for the story.

You put the story together in a fine manner, telling us many things that we may never have known about her.

It was not like reading a few facts from Wikipedia; I felt a closeness and caring in your words.

Great writing.

jackson

4
4
Review of Jezebel's Diary  
Review by jackson
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


         Original, thought provoking and a darn good story.

         The ending was great; no one could have had an inkling of the way the story ended.

         Well thought out and presented . . . I liked the way the tale progressed from the beginning to the end.

jackson
5
5
Review of Homesick  
Review by jackson
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


         I enjoyed the concept of your story, the ending was totally unexpected. Overall, the story and its presentment were without any errors that I noticed. It led me quickly from the beginning to the end. I always like a story that does not follow the old, familiar pattern of so many western stories. This one was original, great writing.

jackson
6
6
Review of Change Your Mind  
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (5.0)

Hello Fyn,
I like this. For some reason it reminds me of down-home. I guess the brocolli and asparagus is behind that. It has a good sound to the mind as it is read. Nothing to be seen of mistakes in grammar or otherwise. Overall, it's beautiful. Great work.

jackson
7
7
Review by jackson
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)


         Hello,

As I was browsing, the title of this work caught my eyes. Great title.

         The words flow across the page in a pleasing manner and each line tells the reader of your disbelief that something like this could happen.

Great writing.

jackson
8
8
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (5.0)

          Hello, I just read Living Between Breaths, it's very beautiful. Your words are like a rain that washes away the dirt.

         But the pain remains, waiting for that special rain that washes all away. That's how your words made me feel.

         Great writing.
9
9
Review by jackson
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

         Although this forum is in my favorites list, I have yet to post here. It seems like a good place for members to post various concerns and tidbits of other natures.

         You've done the community a big favor by creating this forum. Great job!
10
10
Review of Bullfighter  
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (4.5)


         I didn't get to your review request before it expired. I like this, I can pretty much see the gate opening and the bull's snort of indignation, I imagine as I read this.

         Looks like it might be a clown standing by the gate, still ready to protect the bull riders.

         Your rhyming is excellent, and the flow of the words tells us of the hero who saves the cowboy. This could be told in many other ways by different people . . . This is a short story within a poem, and done well. A comma after the words: "It ain't the pay" is all I would suggest.

11
11
Review of Staged  
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (5.0)


         Hello,
jackson here, your piece is well written. It could be describing many scenes because of the way it is presented.

         I will describe the scene it presented to me as I read it.

         A beautiful horse is running flat-out down a sandy racetrack. She's screaming from the mighty effort she is putting out.

Her speed acts as gravity, pinning the rider to his seat. Once, her feet slip in the sand, but on she goes.

         Camera bulbs flash as she propels them across the finish first. Both rider and horse command the roar of the spectators.

         Whether this is what you had in mind, I don't know, but it's what I felt as I read.

         Good job. Just one little tip, the word (begun) always needs a helping verb such as have, has or had. Use it like: have begun, has begun or had begun. In this item, for the sake of rhyme, it doesn't matter.

         I am refunding your GPs as my reviews are always free.
12
12
Review by jackson
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello,

I came upon this lovely song, (I'll just call it a song.) I came upon this lovely song this morning. It's wonderful. Why it has no ratings is a puzzle to me. I am glad I chanced upon this, it was wonderful to read, and see the words being written in blue. Great work.
13
13
Review of I am Watching  
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (5.0)


Hello,

Your work here in this piece is very lovely. It is filled with strength and emotions. It's hard to choose a favorite line, but this one touches me: (I turned off the heat when harm would warm itself or even just his hands at your fire.) The whole writing is just beautiful.

Regards, jackson
14
14
Review of First Date  
Review by jackson
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


Hello,

I read this item on the Read and Review page. I think it's a pretty good item. I didn't use a microscope, but I encountered no errors in grammar or punctuation. There's no reason for me to suggest any type of improvements. It does what you set out to do: write a story in 55 words. I like it. Keep that baseball bat polished and ready.
15
15
Review by jackson
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

While looking at the Read and Review page, I encountered your item, decided to look at it.

I just finished reading it. It's got an edge to it. The words cut across the page sharply. Your plot is realistic and well formed.

There are no errors of any sort. Good writing . . .
16
16
Review of A Fireside Tale  
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello,

I found your story on the Read and Review page. It's delightful. The plot is well-formed, and the telling of the tale is easy to follow. I have two suggestions: The words in bold lettering can be dropped, as bold takes away from the story. Although I find myself wanting to use it sometimes.

If you were to slowly read the story one line at a time, examine that one line, and root out any errors in punctuation the story would be a five. Well done!
17
17
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (4.0)


Hello,

You have an interesting story here. It's well written, the dialogue is good and there's a lot of action.

I did notice a few misplaced words, typos I think they were.
And a couple of commas would make the story better.

Your sentence: . . . trusting his horse to wake him incase of an emergency. Change to (in case).

Your sentence: Josiah stayed still not known what to expect.

A comma would be advantageous in this sentence. (Josiah stayed still, not knowing what to expect.

Your sentence: Pete, since you are closer. Throw some wood on that fire . . .

It needs to be: Pete, since you are closer, throw some wood on that fire . . .

Your sentence: . . . would not hesitate to shoot should he lifted his gun in my direction.

Lifted needs to be (lift) in this sentence.

Overall, it's a good story, you just need to slowly read it through sentence by sentence and look for typos and tense errors. I hope this helps.
18
18
Review of At Folsom Prison  
Review by jackson
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Like yourself, I have never been a fan of country music. But Johnny Cash was a different sound. The distinctive beat of the music in his songs set him in a class by himself. Who else has that particular sound?

Your item on Johnny Cash was well written. It seemed you did a lot of research to compose it. The item was presented an a coherent, easy to read format. Great work in giving us readers some insight into the life of Mister Cash.

jackson
19
19
Review by jackson
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


Hello,

The first thing is: I read this all the way through without pausing. You seem to have a good way with words. The story was interesting and held my attention. I did not notice any glaring mistakes in grammar, tense or punctuation. Overall it was a likeable tale. Good work.
20
20
Review of The Parrot  
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello,
I came across this item while browsing the animal section of Browse by Genre. It has a good rhythm, and is amusing enough to make the reader chuckle. It is an excellent piece of writing. My favorite lines were: But did the parrot thank me then?
Hell no, that bird is fickle.
He simply said, "Where are the fries?
What happened to the pickle?

I enjoyed reading this work.

jackson
21
21
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hello,

Your story is very well written, giving lots of entertainment to the reader. If I were just rating on the content and form of the story, my rating would be 5.

I know how hard it is to edit one of the longer stories, as I go through that many times. Whew, I am always happy when I am done editing.

In the first paragraph, you have a very long sentence. It starts with ( Only his daughter . . . and ends with ( immigrants staying close to their own kind.

The sentence needs to be broken down into several sentences to be easier to read. This may, or may not be helpful, it is only my suggestion.

Here is the way I would write the sentence:

Only his daughter remained. She was a freshman in high. Father and daughter share a small, four room house. There was a short attic above, accessible only by climbing a hand built ladder, which housed all the children. The house was built on an acre with a barn, a garage and a chicken coop. It was built when Blue Island was just a meadow outside the city of Chicago. The meadow was dotted with family homesteads, mostly immigrants who preferred staying with their own kind.

I hope this review was helpful.

jackson
22
22
Review by jackson
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


Hello,
You've received so many reviews for this item, I probably can't say anything that hasn't been said. To me, this story was like reading Louis L'Amour or Elmer Kelton. It had all the elements that make a story memorable: dialog with a downhome flavor, intrigue, romance, and overall soundness of flow.

I won't try to tell you how to improve it, it has its own legs and can stand tall. Congratulations . . .

jackson
23
23
Review of In a Lurch.  
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (5.0)


Hello jackson here,

I was looking through the Read and Review page, and your little gem came along. I liked the brevity of it, the thoughts of things that might come to pass, and the descriptive look the lady took in just a glance. Well done. I encountered no errors in grammar or punctuation. An element of suspense hovered in the elevator with the two as they set their eyes upon each other. This is my reaction to the scene you have created . . .

Great!
24
24
Review of The End of Summer  
Review by jackson
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi,

Read and Review led me to this work; I was surprised when I began to read. I was not expecting this, maybe I thought it was about the season summer. My surprise was a pleasant one. I saw one little typo,(. . .as his head was secured in placed with a pillory.) I know you meant (place). Overall, this story held my attention from start to finish. Great story.
25
25
Review by jackson
Rated: E | (5.0)

Hello,

When I say I liked this story, it's not enough to say. A rat . . . Yeah, it's the best story I have read on Writing.Com for a long time. It has an element of comedy, but subtle. It's well written, easy to follow, and original. I felt like I was right there listening to the rat family. Well written. I did not look for errors of any type, the story was what I consentrated on.
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