Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.
Hello, Yarrow ! I just finished reading your piece "Tempus Fugit" and I wanted to offer you the following comments!
My impression of this piece:This is a well written story, I must say! I only found one tiny thing that
caused the flow to be interrupted as I read this. I made note of it below, under suggestions. It is my belief that you are touching on a common behavior among those who write. Many tend to procrastinate, finding almost anything to do but putting their brilliant stories into action. I wonder why this is? Are we afraid it won't succeed? Are we afraid we might be a success? Makes one wonder, really. I find it interesting that the little song from the play you did back in Primary school, still stays with you after all these years, and seems to apply, judging by what I read here. I also find that this piece reminds me that I tend to do the same thing, (procrastinate) with writing my novel(s) that have been running around in my head for far too long, begging to be released. This means your story made me FEEL something! That is awesome work!
Flow & Readability:
I found this very easy to read and understand. Like I mentioned above, just one tiny little hiccup was noted. (Perhaps it is a difference in English usage as well?) But this truly does read very well. Great job!
What works / Strong points :
You relate to the reader in a way that is conversational, and easy to stay with. Your writing held my attention from start to finish due to this quality. I also like that you admit you will find anything to do in order to put off your writing. Now, knowing that, you really must ask yourself why? You are obviously a good writer.
*** This area of your piece just doesn't seem to flow well, or sound quite right: "...I've read no end of well-meaning articles..." Perhaps "I've read well meaning articles, to no end,..." Just a suggestion of course.
Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Keep on writing, work on the procrastination, and write that brilliant piece of work that is begging you to let it out!
Just do the next WRITE thing!