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380 Public Reviews Given
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I am not very fond of reviewing poetry items due to my lack of knowledge concerning poetry.
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Anything containing cruelty toward animals and children. Explicit sexual content, nor anything over GC.
Public Reviews
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51
51
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.



Hello, xx I just finished reading your piece {item:} and I wanted to offer you the following comments!



*Paw* My impression of this piece:
This is a very well written story. It got me interested, and held my interest. There is a very "English" tone to this writing. Some may find it a bit confusing, but I enjoyed it. It just isn't quite what one expects as most stories are written in American English. I did not read the first two chapters, as I ran across this chapter first.

It sounds as if Gloria's boyfriend is a real work of art...not. I do wonder where the next chapter will lead with the two of them. I also wonder where it will lead with the ghosts of the woods. So good job there! You have managed to arouse my curiosity. Since I did not read the first two chapters, I am not sure if you put much effort into the character development or not. If you did, that's great. If not, you really should. I helps the reader paint that image into their minds and makes them feel as if they are a part of it all, or have a relationship with the characters.

*Paw* Flow & Readability:
This reads very well. I am able to understand and follow along without difficulty.

*Paw* What works / Strong points :
The dialogue in this piece comes across as being quite natural, and not forced. That is very important to a piece, as dialogue is part of what differentiates characters and their personalities.

*Paw* Suggestions:
For the most part the only suggestions I have I actually addressed in the "initial impression" part of this review. I found no errors to comment on. With that said, you may want to expand on the description of the woods, which may have been done in a previous chapter, but the reader needs to be a part of what is going on, no matter what chapter it is. Use all the senses, or at least some of them, to help the reader create an image in their mind.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Great job! All in all this is awesome work! Thank you for sharing it.

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*

Patrece

My first sig I created myself.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
52
52
Review of Tempus Fugit  
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.



Hello, Yarrow ! I just finished reading your piece "Tempus Fugit and I wanted to offer you the following comments!



*Paw* My impression of this piece:This is a well written story, I must say! I only found one tiny thing that
caused the flow to be interrupted as I read this. I made note of it below, under suggestions. It is my belief that you are touching on a common behavior among those who write. Many tend to procrastinate, finding almost anything to do but putting their brilliant stories into action. I wonder why this is? Are we afraid it won't succeed? Are we afraid we might be a success? Makes one wonder, really. I find it interesting that the little song from the play you did back in Primary school, still stays with you after all these years, and seems to apply, judging by what I read here. I also find that this piece reminds me that I tend to do the same thing, (procrastinate) with writing my novel(s) that have been running around in my head for far too long, begging to be released. This means your story made me FEEL something! That is awesome work!

*Paw* Flow & Readability:
I found this very easy to read and understand. Like I mentioned above, just one tiny little hiccup was noted. (Perhaps it is a difference in English usage as well?) But this truly does read very well. Great job!

*Paw* What works / Strong points :
You relate to the reader in a way that is conversational, and easy to stay with. Your writing held my attention from start to finish due to this quality. I also like that you admit you will find anything to do in order to put off your writing. Now, knowing that, you really must ask yourself why? You are obviously a good writer.

*Paw* Suggestions:
*** This area of your piece just doesn't seem to flow well, or sound quite right: "...I've read no end of well-meaning articles..." Perhaps "I've read well meaning articles, to no end,..." Just a suggestion of course.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Keep on writing, work on the procrastination, and write that brilliant piece of work that is begging you to let it out!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*

Patrece

My first sig I created myself.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
53
53
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* A review for you from Patrece~So busy!!! ! *BalloonR*



Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
I came across it and thought it might be fin to read and review.

*Paw* My impression of this piece:
This is a cute and creative story. You have managed to make very few errors in it. Well done!

*Paw* Flow & Readability:
This story is well written and easy to read and follow along with. It has a nice smooth flow to it.

*Paw* What works / Strong points :
I like that Timothy's belief in the situation unfolding in his bedroom, was unquestioned and fully believed by him, and that there was no ill intent by the Meterians.

*Paw* Suggestions:
*Pawprints* I think that more description would benefit this story. You touched on describing the "ant like men" but not enough to really create a picture of these fictitious beings. Nor of Timothy, the surroundings, etc.

*Pawprints* Here there is a typo: "One Meterian stood a the..." I believe the "a" should have been "at".

*Pawprints* Here, I think you misseda comma and a word where indicated in green: "I thought to myself(comma or semicolon) no (one)is ever gonna believe this."

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
I appreciate you sharing your work. For the most part it is really great! Just a couple of quick fixes and it's good to go. Perhaps one day you would like to revisit this piece and provide a few more details to reel the reader right in to the story.

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
54
54
Review of Paris  
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from Patrece, and The Newbies Academy! *BalloonR*



Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
My way of welocoming you to WDC. If the Newbies academy can be of any help to you, just let us know. Our mission is to help you learn your way around WDC!

*Paw* My impression of this piece:
You are giving great advie to those who may visit Paris. This could be very helpful to those who plan to do so. You obviously are quite knowledgable about Paris,

*Paw* Flow & Readability:
The flow would bve better if there weren't the odd symbols strewn about in this piece. I have only experienced this one other time, and I believe it was in one of your works. Perhaps in Paris it is understood, but not here, I'm afraid.

*Paw* What works / Strong points :
You take your obvious knowledge and share it to help those who are not from Paris, but who may be considering a trip there. This could be very helpful to them!

*Paw* Suggestions:
LINK TEXT HERE *Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
I really think you write quite well, it is just the odd symbols which make it confusing to me. I am sure it would confuse the average American. This doesn't mean it's wrong at all, just that it confuses me when the symbols are used. Thank you for sharing your insight, knowldge, and advice! Polish this up and it will be awesome!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
55
55
Review of London Dating  
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from Patrece!*BalloonR*



Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
I noticed you are fairly new here at WDC and wanted to welcome you with a review of your work! If I can do anything to help you learn the ropes here at WDC, let me know! I'll be sure to help make it happen!

*Paw* My impression of this piece:
A very exacting guid to how to date in london. I found much of it to me very informative, and some of it to be a bit amusing. Being from the USA, things are quite different there than they are here. We have no Princesses here, but many women who's like to think they are! *Laugh*

*Paw* Flow & Readability:
For the most part this had a good flow and good readability. There are a few areas that could use a small fix, I noted them below.

*Paw* What works / Strong points :
You engage the reader in a very coversational tone, which is a wonderful approach with this type of writing.
You explain to the one wanting to date, what is required of them in different scenerio's should they wish for thier dating efforts to be fruitful.

*Paw* Suggestions:
LINK TEXT HERE

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Great read! Thank you for sharing your creative talents! Keep on keeping on, and please do edit this, it will shine like a diamond!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
56
56
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Paw* I chose to review this work for The Newbies Academy Review Relay Race!

Invalid Photo #1041293

*Paw* My impression of this piece:
This is a pretty well written piece, I must say. You give a very visual descriptive to help the reader feel as if they are there, seeing it all.. Wonderful work there! Throughout the course of this young lady's day, the message I am getting is that suddenly her entire outlook on her mother has come full turn. She now knows how it feels to love. Perhaps she has the maturity to accept that her mother was human, and was in love as well, and come to accept her mother and the baby from her affair. The ending does give me this impression. This also speaks volumes on the power of love, if one only really absorbs what is being told in this sweet tale.

*Paw* What I really liked:
My absolute most favorite line in this story is: "With a stubborn grumble, the clouds, like quarreling lovers, momentarily parted ways." The wording is so powerful and brings about a perfect imagery of what was going on with the storm and clouds. LOVE IT!

I also like that through an experience of her own, Maya, may now have a more loving and intact family life at home. Sunshine and blue skies are on the horizon, as communicated in the closing paragraph of this story, which I also really like.

You did a good job of showing us the characters, not just telling us about them. You included different things like: lack of caring for hair, hair color, personality traits, resentment, hopelessness, love. Very nicely done!

*Paw* Suggestions:
Click Here

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
I thank you for sharing this work. It was very easy and smooth to read, and I enjoyed it very much! WRITE ON!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
57
57
Review of The decision.  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
It was at your request, that I review some of your work that has not yet been rated. So, here I am.

*Paw* My impression of this piece:
Your brief intro makes a perspective reader wonder "Not choosing what?" "Burdened how?" That is a wonderful thing, because it will push the reader to want to dig deeper.

This story addresses a mans difficulty in life because he can't choose which side of the line to walk. In the end, he pays an unfair price due to assumptions, but still sticks to his pledge that he will not be forced to choose. I found it intriguing that he didn't seem upset at all for being pegged for a murder he never committed.

*Paw* Readability:
Readability is impaired due to this being written with no breaks. It makes a story much harder to read when it is not broken up into individual paragraphs. The best story ever written would become impossible to read, at any length, without well defined spaces or indentations between the paragraphs. Do your work justice, and take time to do this.

*Paw* What I really liked:
What I liked best is that he stood up for what he believed in, no matter what. Misunderstood, feeling alienated from family and others, still he didn't waver in what he believed in (or didn't).

*Paw* Suggestions:
I have made several suggestions for you. To make it easier to look it over, I created a drop note. Just click the down arrow below to view.
What I Noted


*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Your story is a good one, with a ton of potential! If you just take the time to go through and polish it up, it will shine! If you decide to edit and update your story, and would like me to review it again, just let me know!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
58
58
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

Header for The Gift Shop Thank you for your purchase from "Invalid Item'

*Paw* My impression of this piece:
This is a very unique writing. Being part story, and part communication with someone in an email, to have a poem created for the "prophecy". Part of the dialogue, seems set up as if for actors in a play (a script), while part of it is typical dialogue of fictional work.

*Paw* What I really liked:
What I really liked is that you weren't afraid to reach out and request assistance with the "poetic" part of your work, and were also willing to compensate and give credit to the one writing the poetic piece. Many writers are quite protective of their work, and wouldn't dream of allowing another to have a hand in it. I think it is very smart of you to know your limitations, and be willing to allow another to "chip in" where you feel pushed beyond your limits.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
I really have no suggestions for you on this piece, as it is an unusual mix of styles of writing. It does provide the reader with a lot of background on what you are trying to achieve with the prophetic portion of the story. It's kind of a "behind the scenes" look at things.

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
59
59
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I would love to give you some constructive criticism on this piece, bit for one, I found no errors in spelling or grammar. Also, I am completely ignorant of the subject matter of your story. So, I am afraid, there is nothing to challenge you on here.

Very, very well worded and written. Thank you for allowing me to read and review this work!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
60
60
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
To be honest, I have been struggling with my faith. When I read the title of your work, it drew me in, in hopes that maybe it would help inspire me just a bit.

*Paw* My impression of this piece:
This story is without a doubt, written by a person who has a deep and unwavering faith and love in the Lord. Ah, the trials faced by this mother during her time upon the earth are unimaginable by any, except those who have also lost a child. What an incredibly heart wrenching incident. Life is filled with much pain and loss, but also joy and hope. You express this beautifully in this work.

*Paw* Readability:
For the most part, this was easy to read and follow. There were a couple of things I noticed that might help improve the flow a little. I'll address these below, under suggestions.

*Paw* What I really liked:
I really like the way that each paragraph ended in the words "God knows and sees all." Additionally, I was so touched by the fact that no matter the obstacles and challenges faced by this loving mother of three, she held firm to her faith, and never wavered in her love for God. Absolutely beautiful!

*Paw* Suggestions:
I may miss some punctuation errors, as I am far from perfect with it! *Laugh*

Click the arrow to see my suggestions.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
I think your story is a beautiful one, and if you take just a bit of time to edit and polish it up a bit, it will really shine! If you do decide to work further on it, and would like me to review it again, please just let me know!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
61
61
Review of LOST  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were! Any suggestions made here are made in an honest and caring effort to help you identify possible areas of improvement, and to share what I believe worked well for you in this writing.

*Paw* Why I chose to review this work:
I spotted your story in the short story newsletter, and the title pulled me in. The title and title description are both great! So, here I am reviewing it, after reading it. *Bigsmile*

*Paw* My impression of this piece:
Your story hooked me right away, and held my attention well. What a beautiful way you have with the written word. (I'll address this later on in this review.)

You did a good job of showing us the personality and mood of your main character. I like the determination she had! Additionally, you did a great job of showing the reader: what was being seen through her eyes, heard through her ears, and what she thought and felt. A wonderful "show don't tell" story to be sure!

*Paw* Flow & Readability:
This was a wonderful read for the most part. It was easy to follow and well written.

*Paw* What works / Strong points :
The vivid images that you were able to paint with your words are outstanding! I felt as if I were right there, seeing and hearing it all along with her. No one could ever rightfully accuse you of not "showing" the reader in this piece. It was so very vivid! EXCELLENT description!

*Paw* Suggestions:
The one suggestion I would like to share with you, in my own humble opinion, is that while your description was breathtaking, it may have gone on just a tad too long. Given that this story was only 1000 words, it could have served the story better if just a little more of the writing had been dedicated to how the rescuers found her, the condition she was in and how she felt when they did. How did she react to being found?

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Again, this story is wonderful! The descriptive wording is amazing, and I am thankful to you for sharing it. Write on!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
62
62
Review of Quiet Yearning  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were!

A raid review for you! From: Lady Patrece of House Hightower "Game of Thrones

*Paw*Initial impression of your piece:
I know not the rules and styles of poetry, so my review will touch on how your piece affected me, what it made me think, feel and experience, as I read it.
I can definitely sense the pain and yearning in this piece. I am so happy to know that you now have been blessed with the little one your hearts so desired! A deeply personal, and emotional poem, that touched my heart quite deeply. I can understand your pain, as my daughter was told she'd never have a child. It ripped her apart for the longest time. Now she has her third on the way, but she was 25 before being blessed with the first.
I know your precious little miracle will be treasured and adored.

*Paw* What I really liked:
The very last part, where you wrote:
"When all is said and done,
our broken hearts are still sad.
All we wanted to be, you see,
was your loving Mom and Dad.
Powerful stuff!

*Paw* Spelling, grammar and punctuation :
I noticed a place or two where the flow didn't seem to match up with the rest, but again, I know little of poetry, and I think this one is just painfully beautiful.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
I am so glad you have your little one! Thank you for sharing such private and intimate thoughts and feelings!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



House Hightower image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
63
63
Review of Shadow Detective  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were!

A raid review for you! From: Lady Patrece of House Hightower "Game of Thrones

*Paw*Initial impression of your piece:
Thank you for allowing me to read and rate your story. It is very imaginative, and kept me interested throughout. There were a couple of small things I noted that could use a second look, but even so, it was a great read!
You did a wonderful job of keeping the reader guessing as to what would happen. Additionally, I as the reader found myself wondering; why didn't she call the police? Was she really so convinced it was her imagination playing games with her? I also wonder how she could bring herself to come home from work, night after night, knowing what was facing her.

*Paw* What I really liked:
When your character finally got brave enough to investigate what was going on. I really want to know what actually happened after that door closed behind her, leaving her in the dark!

*Paw* Spelling, grammar and punctuation :

What I Noted

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Wonderful work. Thank you again for sharing!
*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



House Hightower image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
64
64
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were!

A raid review for you! From: Lady Patrece of House Hightower "Game of Thrones

*Paw*Initial impression of your piece:
This may be a short, short story, but let me tell you that it is not lacking in providing the reader with a good laugh. It is a refreshing change of pace, from all of the "dark" stuff I have been reading during this review raid. Thank you for bringing a laugh and a bit of humor to my day.
It is well written, easy to follow, and cute as can be. Maybe the funniest part is, I too may have found myself puzzling out the woman's statement as well. But then I don't know much about flowers.
I can just imagine how embarrassed you must have felt, but bringing a laugh to someones day, is a wonderful thing, even if unintentional.


*Paw* What I really liked:
I enjoyed that the two ladies , rather than be rude, were able to get a kick out of the clerks reaction. I also love that you were able to write about this experience, and share the humor with your readers.

*Paw* Spelling, grammar and punctuation :
Nothing noted in this area.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
I hope you were able to overcome your initial embarrassment, and have enjoyed sharing this funny tale with lots of others. Thank you for sharing your work and creative writing skills. Write on! I look forward to reading more of it!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



House Hightower image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
65
65
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were!

A raid review for you! From: Lady Patrece of House Hightower "Game of Thrones

*Paw*Initial impression of your piece:
I really enjoyed reading your story! It reminds me of the strange seasons we have experienced in this last year here, in Colorado. Season changes can be so unpredictable, as your character discovered in this cute story.

This is basically a well written story, and held my attention. Below, I share a few suggestions with you, in a caring attempt to help you make the most of this. Please take what you will, and discard the rest. We all have our own way of telling out stories.

*Paw* What I really liked:
You gave great details, helping to put the reader right there, in the happenings of this story. That makes a story so much more inviting, in my humble opinion.

*Paw* Spelling, grammar and punctuation :
(Forgive me if I am mistaken. Punctuation isn't my strongest point.)*Bigsmile*
What I noted

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Thank you so much for sharing your work. I truly enjoyed this story, and the creativity behind it. Write on!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



House Hightower image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
66
66
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were!

A raid review for you! From: Lady Patrece of House Hightower "Game of Thrones
Charlie, it is always a pleasure to review your work!

*Paw*Initial impression of your piece:
Haha! No kidding. Don't ya just love those fake apologies, where it is all turned around to be "your" fault?! (I'm sorry...but..." The "but" just takes it back. So why do people bother apologizing in the first place, if they are just going to turn it around and deny responsibility for what happened anyways?
Well written, with great examples of the subject of this piece. I could share a few myself.
Such weak excuses given for the wrongs committed, and they actually thought that made it all okay? *Rolleyes*

*Paw* What I really liked:
Although presented by way of example, the subject of this work is so real! I get riled up just thinking about it, as I have had many fake apologies over the years too.
I am so glad though, that Johnnie stood his ground, and forced his roomie to get his dog back! Of all the nerve! I am sure that guy will be one roommate Johnnie will not miss for a moment!

*Paw* Spelling, grammar and punctuation :
No errors noted in this area.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Thanks again for sharing your witty work! I has been such a pleasure to review so many of your creations! I look forward to reading more of them again soon!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



House Hightower image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
67
67
Review of Wildflowers  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were!

A raid review for you! From: Lady Patrece of House Hightower "Game of Thrones

*Paw*Initial impression of your piece:
This is terrific! I love this story. It has a the perfect "grab Factor", and kept me riveted throughout reading it. It leaves the reader with questions, in a way that makes them stay tuned in. When I completed reading it, I found myself pondering (as I often do after reading), would things have been different, had they not come on a weekday? After all, they never had issues on the weekends when they were here. Or was the maniac that did these acts a new arrival to the place? What provoked the insanity of the murderer?
So sad these two young people lost their lives so tragically and so early on in their time in this world; and for seemingly no good reason.
A nicely written, and easy to read and enjoy piece. I only found one little error, it is addressed below.

*Paw* What I really liked:
The vivid details, told in a way to help the reader get a feel for how the death scene appeared, was great. I also like how brave Sarah was. I appreciate that this was written in a way that kept me glued to it. Great job!

*Paw* Spelling, grammar and punctuation :
***Comma needed where indicated: "...from school (comma) on a stormy Tuesday afternoon..."

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Thank you again, for allowing me to share in your written creativity! Write on!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



House Hightower image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
68
68
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were!

A raid review for you! From: Lady Patrece of House Hightower "Game of Thrones

*Paw*Initial impression of your piece:
Wow, talk about a totally oblivious group of people. It was almost as if poor Leah wasn't even there among them. So caught up were they all in their own little click, they didn't hear a thing she said to them regarding the gift. How sad and hurt that must make her. No wonder she wanted to just get it all over with and go spend her holiday with her boyfriend and his family. And oh, what a terrible gift to give, especially given it was damaged. Makes the reader wonder why her family has so little regard for her. One could almost understand the older two siblings being close, but for the parents to also be so tuned out to her is pretty bad! If I were her, I'd never go to another such gathering.

*Paw* What I really liked:
Leah was mature enough, that once she was finally acknowledged, and asked how she liked her gift (even though she had already tried to tell them), she replied in a positive way, knowing anything else would just rock the boat and that it wasn't worth bothering with.

*Paw* Spelling, grammar and punctuation :
What I noted

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
I appreciate you sharing your craft with me, and allowing me to review it. Write on. I hope you find this review to be helpful.

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



House Hightower image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
69
69
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were!

A raid review for you! From: Lady Patrece of House Hightower "Game of Thrones

*Paw*Initial impression of your piece:
This is an incredibly creative and powerful story. It is well written, easy to follow, and drives home a couple of points that are important in marriage. There are very good morals to be gleaned from this story. I will address these points in the next section of this review.
Ray was extremely cunning (and not exactly honest) in his methods to getting his wife to 'come clean' on her affair.
Livi, being an intelligent woman, should have been more concerned about where all of the gifts had been coming from.
It is plain to see (read) that this couple lacked adequate communication in their marriage for a long time. Perhaps had it been better, it wouldn't have ever had to come to this point. Livi, obviously ignored that fact that her husband felt emasculated, being the one to stay home and care for the child and home, while she worked. This much he had communicated to her, but she brushed it off.

*Paw* What I really liked:
This is a clear example of how open and honest two-way communication is vital to a strong and enduring marriage. Clearly, there was no one person in the wrong, but Livi took it too far with the affair. Ray needed to feel like a man, she needed to feel like a desired woman. Livi filled her needs by way of an affair, as Ray suffered in silence. It's a shame he didn't do little things for her before things were so far out of hand, and it's a shame, she didn't relent on enabling him to work outside of the home. So many valuable lessons here: Honesty & Communication. Respect and treat well, the one you love. Each bad action one makes, can and likely will be met with an equal, yet opposite reaction.

*Paw* Spelling, grammar and punctuation :
No errors noted here.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Even though Livi was lonely and felt undesired and unappreciated, she messed up big time. In the end, she was unreasonable to expect her husband to just accept things and carry on as before.
I really liked this writing! Thank you so very much for sharing!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



House Hightower image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
70
70
Review of Retribution  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were!

A raid review for you! From: Lady Patrece of House Hightower "Game of Thrones

*Paw*Initial impression of your piece:
A clever and witty piece, which I enjoyed very much. Randell sure is a chancy guy by hitting on women, not knowing if they wear perfume, with his apparent severe allergy to it.
This story was well written and had a great flow to it. It started out a little 'slow' on the action, but increased steadily as the story continued to unfold. So, this held my attention.
I found Randell to be quite the jerk toward the end. Trying to physically hold her there, when she clearly told him to stop. A shame his friend didn't text him the reminder about the perfume sooner. He was likely so inebriated that it hadn't even crossed his mind by then.
When he first started grabbing his throat, I wondered if she had done something to him in self defense. I guess indirectly she did *Laugh*

*Paw* What I really liked:
Well, I do dislike that this is my favorite part, as I am not a violent person, but... It was just so perfect! Poetic Justice! It was served to him for pushing himself on her, with no wrong doing involved in it at all. Brilliant!

*Paw* Spelling, grammar and punctuation :
No errors noted in this area.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Wonderful work! Thank you for sharing it, and write on!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



House Hightower image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
71
71
Review of Retribution  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were!

A raid review for you! From: Lady Patrece of House Hightower "Game of Thrones

*Paw*Initial impression of your piece:

*Paw* What I really liked:

*Paw* Spelling, grammar and punctuation :

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



House Hightower image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
72
72
Review of From Beyond  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were!

A raid review for you! From: Lady Patrece of House Hightower "Game of Thrones

*Paw*Initial impression of your piece:
Well written, and easy to read and follow. This is a unique story idea. It held my attention throughout the piece. It must have come as quite a shock to Lilly, especially just turning thirteen, to learn of her most unusual family history. Although her mother told her she would receive a special gift from her Grandmother, I'm not too sure it sounded as though Lilly found it to be so. The feelings of shock, stunned disbelief, and confusion were abundant for her, this you clearly shared with the reader. You leave the reader wondering how Lilly will feel about it all, once she has had a chance to mentally digest it all.

*Paw* What I really liked:
I liked the ending, where her mother assured her, that in the end of her time, her parting from existence will be much more meaningful than "being buried in a box, under dirt." This gives little Lilly a way to have a positive outlook for the future that will be hers.

*Paw* Spelling, grammar and punctuation :
*** I believe you missed an "a" here: "Mom, you're (a) star child."
*** You missed an opening Quotation mark here: We're duty bound."
Aside from these couple of things, it looks great!

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Thank you for sharing your work! You are a very talented writer with a wonderful imagination.

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



House Hightower image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
73
73
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were!

A raid review for you! From: Lady Patrece of House Hightower "Game of Thrones

*Paw*Initial impression of your piece:
Such a hot topic, and such a very real struggle for so many. It is sad to thin that after 10 years of sobriety, a person can still have to fight so hard to stay away from alcohol. It is also so very sad, that his desire for a woman, who likely doesn't share his feelings, is what pushes him over the edge or resistance. A shame, when buying a round for the rest, he didn't sit that round out, or drink a tasty non alcoholic beverage that would have made him appear to be following in the path of his coworkers. Alcoholism is a powerful addition, and this fact is very well portrayed in this story.

Your references to the ex-wife and daughter certainly makes a reader want to know more, especially the reference to the daughter, and the guilt he lives with daily over that. Inquiring minds wanna know!

*Paw* What I really liked:
You excellent writing skills, and ability to draw the reader in to the story are wonderful. I (think I) noticed a couple of missed comma's, but punctuation is NOT by strongest point, so I can't be sure. I did point them out below. If I am mistaken, PLEASE advise me of this! But either way it was an excellent piece of work!

*Paw* Spelling, grammar and punctuation :
*** I could be mistaken, but I believe there is a comma needed in this sentence: "...think about all of that now though (Comma?) as Michelle spotted..."
*** Same here: "...It wasn’t long though (comma?) before Michelle..."
***And here: "...she only didn’t offer him to (comma?) because..."


*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Keep on keeping on with your writing. It is a beautiful gift.

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



House Hightower image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
74
74
Review of Gift for Natalie  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were!

A raid review for you! From: Lady Patrece of House Hightower "Game of Thrones

*Paw*Initial impression of your piece:
Wow! Talk about a plot that takes an unexpected twist or two! And done so well in such a short story. Great job! A nicely written short story, with a great hook. You easily kept my interest throughout. The prompt was integrated very nicely into this tale.

By the way Paul's co-workers and boss reacted to him in the office, one would have never guessed that he was the psycho he turned out to be. I started catching on that something wasn't quite right when Paul had to walk over to his wife's house. But even then, you had me fooled, as I thought perhaps they were separated or divorced and he was trying to win her back!

*Paw* What I really liked:
The way the plot twisted and kept the reader in the dark and guessing until the very end, was impressive. Your write in a way that is easy to read, and flows well.

*Paw* Spelling, grammar and punctuation :
*** You missed a needed space here: "...Just one more thing.I ..." you need a space after the period.



*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
Wonderful work on this short story, that came to you in the form of a prompt. Your creative mind took that prompt and ran full out with it. Thank you so much for sharing your work with me and allowing me to review and rate it! I would have rated it a 4.75 had that been an option!

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



House Hightower image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
75
75
Review of A Helping Hand  
In affiliation with WDC Addicts Anonymous  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Please understand that this review is based on my own opinion and thoughts. I am not a professional editor or writer, although, I wish I were!

A raid review for you! From: Lady Patrece of House Hightower "Game of Thrones

*Paw*Initial impression of your piece:
An excellent short story that grabs the reader by the eyes, and doesn't let go until the end. Great work! The reader cannot help but to worry for and pity Rob. He is already going through enough with his recent break-up. Now, he is an accessory to a murder, and seen as such, with the shovel in his hand as the officer approaches them. One can only hope for Rob's sake that the officer overheard the conversation prior to him making his presence known. However, there is nothing to indicate this is the case. Moral of the story, be cautious as to when and how you will lend others, even family, a helping hand.
Very well written, has a nice easy to follow flow to it, and leaves this reader wanting to know more!

There is a certain amount of sympathy to be given to Mike, as he was trying to protect his children from a terrible future. However, he went way too far and went about it entirely wrong. A lesson to be learned by others, without learning it the hard way.

*Paw* What I really liked:
I like that Rob, in his heart of hearts, wanted to deal with the situation in the right way, even though he let it get too far out of hand. This teaches a moral lesson. Do what is right, even if it is difficult.

*Paw* Spelling, grammar, punctuation & suggestions:
In my humble opinion, I would have liked to have read more description of what was being seen by Rob, when Mike dragged him to the bathroom, and seen by the officer upon his arrival. Maybe a description of how Rob and Mike 'felt' when the officer arrived. It would just help the reader feel more like they were right there in it all.

*Paw* Final Thoughts / Side Notes:
You have a wonderful talent, and I have enjoyed reading this short story very much! Thanks for sharing. Now...Just let me know when the novel that it belongs in is released! *Bigsmile*

*Pencil*Just do the next WRITE thing!*Pencil*



House Hightower image for G.o.T.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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