Spelling: There are a few words that have not been spelled correctly.
*There - when referring to people instead of place, it should be spelled
their. This is one word I noticed misspelled several times throughout the writing.
*adultlife - Should be two separate words.
adult life
*"in are living room" - Should read... in
our living room. Same with the sentence where you wrote " in are large bathtub" again, instead of are it should be
our
*"a large great dame " - Breed name should be capitalized and spelling is incorrect. Should read...
Great Dane
*"a very close bound began to form" - Should be
bond, not bound.
*"Poor it on him." - Should be
Pour not Poor.
*"I want you to prove you're love for me" - In this instance you are not saying you are so the contraction you're is not correct. It should be
your
*"You must do this mark" - mark should be capitalized, as it is a name.
Mark
Punctuation:
* There are several punctuation errors / or omissions. It would be very difficult for me to go through each of them. Do you have a word processing program you could copy and paste this into, so it can help you see where errors may be?
Structure:
*The writing does not have a smooth flow to it. This may be because you were writing straight from the heart, and not really writing for presentation? (I tend to do this then have to edit many times.)But writing from the heart like that is an excellent way to begin. Everyone has to edit, even Stephan King! So hey... nothing to sweat!
*Try to use more word economy, but using wording that packs a punch! Example: (You wrote) " She would later commit suicide as a result of that experience and as he grew into adulthood he was never able to move past or cope with that experience in any meaningful way." A very wordy sentence. It would be more powerful if you used less but stronger or more descriptive wording. Maybe something like: As a result, she later took her life. He was never able to effectively come to terms with it all. (Please note, I am not trying to re-write your story, just giving an example of how you could trim that particular sentence down.)
*Show don't tell is the thing I keep hearing from everyone. If you google this, or even search this site, you will get a very good explanation of what this means. It is an area I still work hard to improve on myself.