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Review Requests: OFF
1,392 Public Reviews Given
2,269 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
In depth, detailed, and honest. I always point out the things I enjoyed most about an item, highlighting the strengths along with any weaknesses or glitches I might find. To me, it's important to let a writer know how something made you feel and what reactions you had when reading, not just the technical aspects.
I'm good at...
Characterization, punctuation, plot, and grammar.
Favorite Genres
Anything dark and angsty. Horror, erotica, dark dramas are usually my favorites.
Least Favorite Genres
Westerns, Sci-Fi, and comedy.
I will not review...
Poetry and non-fiction. I read these for pleasure alone. I don't know enough about the technicalities to give a decent or useful review. Any comments I send are always just based on my personal reactions as a reader.
Public Reviews
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426
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Wow. Your work has left me speechless and that is not an easy feat to accomplish! It was flawless. The vantage point was chilling, yet it possessed stark rationalization. Cause for pause, if you will. Honestly, I'm a little disturbed that some of this made as much sense as it did. Maybe my soul is a bit darker than what I originally feared, a bit too cynical.

Fantastic wording and an amazing story. Well Done!
427
427
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Ah! What a pleasant surprise to see you update your port!

You have a very unique style, robust with vibrant detail and deep emotion. It places a reader directly into the story, making it possible to see and feel everything the characters do.

One of my favorite images is where she is peeking out the kitchen window and finds him directly on the other side. It brings a smile to my lips every time.

~smiles at the use of "darling"~ Those debonaire men will get you every time.

You are a treasure trove of talent and have an admirable way of weaving fresh adjectives together. At times, your word choice leaves me green with envy and that isn't the Irish blood creeping through!

Best of luck to you!
428
428
Review of A Vision Unclear  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | (5.0)
Beautiful, haunting, and tradgic. Your emotions pour forth with each angst-ridden word. I love the discription and the way you weave your ajectives together. So sorrowful and bittersweet, an honest and raw look at love in its truest form...pain. Very well done.
429
429
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | (3.5)
As he crossed the street he noticed a little ice cream parlor. Kohr’s it said in bright colors. ~ This made me stumble. Just a suggestion but it would flow easier if it were something like —— As he crossed the street, he noticed a little ice cream parlor. The sign above the door spelled Kohr's in bright neon letters.

Maybe I can butts heads with some guys there and get to know them. ~ This should be butt heads.

Poor Joe, the guy is so morose and downtrodden! I can't help but crave a little more imagery and detail. It would go a long way to adding more depth to your characters and story while easing the choppiness. I think with just a little bit of tweaking and delving into Joe's issues . . . like his mother;s marriage and such, you could have a fantastic story.

Good work and keep up the writing!
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430
Review of Blossoms Maligned  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
She took his hand in hers, like all those years ago, before he ran terrified out of her living room. ~laughs~ This line is probably one a lot of readers can relate to. It brought back a lot of memories. *Smile*

Chairs scraped the linoleum floors and bags and backpacks rustled as they found their way to the floor by their owners’ feet. Great detail

Oh my gosh, you certainly know how to use the shock effect....

I think you caught the panic and terror here well. I cannot even imagine what that would be like. It is heartbreaking and terrifying all at once. Sarah's last known actions were deeply moving, tragic in a way but very believeable. The cliffhanger at the end nearly made me want to scream! Very suspenseful piece.
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431
Review of Darkness  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Tragic does not even begin to describe this story. From the first paragraph, I was drawn in, wanting to know why Rose could not move. You depicted that nightmare with chilling ease.

So many times, you hear of such things happening and what woman has not scorned a lover at least once in their life? Charlie's words sent violent shudders down my own spine.

By the end, you had tears streaming down my cheeks. Your writing was very powerful, very emotional and gutwrenching. The only suggestion I have (since you said the thoughts are in italics in the original text) would be to separate them into their own paragraphs. At least here because it it just a tad confusing at times. Great job.
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Review of The Hollow Soul  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This floored me on so many levels. The metaphorical way of speak was refreshing, detailed...vivid. As I read on, I squirmed, slightly uncomfortable, feeling as if someone had peered into my own mind and soul as of late.

Twisted and tortured, this is an extremely compelling piece of writing.

Some of my favorite lines were: Time had stolen most of the past, throwing down its paintbrush and refusing to create any more scenes for the gallery. ...For as long as she could remember, this lingering sadness had torn at her soul with jagged claws and gnashing teeth. ....For a very brief moment, just before the memory blackened from the edges to the center, like a burning photograph, she glimpsed an image of him walking away. This, the image she most wished she could grasp from her mental demons in an effort to stop their continual presentation of the sadistic film.

Unique and bold...this enthralled me. I look forward to reading more of your work!
433
433
Review of Glimpses of Dad  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This was flawless and incredible in my humble opinion. Your writing brought tears to my eyes, as I have often looked at my own parents with sorrow. It is hard watching the ones you love age before your eyes, knowing one day they will be gone. You depicted that beautifully.

This was a heartwarming tribute to your father, touching on so many levels. You honor him well. thank you for sharing these memories and deep emotions. You have a beautiful gift and a rare talent.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
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434
Review of Night's Solace  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This was a very interesting read and I find that hard to say about most first person narratives. It made my gut clench and turn to witness the dissolution of this prisoner's mind. I really like how you paced this story and showed each progressive slip into the realm of insanity. The human mind is fascinating and you did a good job depicting the onset of schitzophrenia and it appears OCD.

Reading this, I was reminded of the powerful movie, Murder in the First. If you have not seen it, it is a true story of a prisoner and how his extended time in the "hole" and viscious abuse from the guards turned a normal man into a decepit shadow of his former self. The horrific events at Alcatrez triggered nationwide laws governing the length of stay in solitary confine.

Night's Solace was the perfect title for this haunting piece.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
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Review of Forever  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
This was a rather ingenious theme for a short story! Which one of us has not pondered what death holds in store for us at least once in life? You took the character's fear of death and turned it into an even more terrifying nightmare. Brilliant idea. I also liked the element of using the carnivale and the wishing booth. Carnivales scare me...not to mention mass crowds. Below are some thoughts and corrections I hope you find useful.

He was going passed a cemetery. going past

He needed to get away from this horrid place and go somewhere that might give him a feeling of joy and piece.peace

The woman inside it was young and pretty, not the stereotypical gypsy woman one would expect to be seeing granting wishes. Hey now! *laughs* I have a lot of 'gypsy' blood! *Smile* Still, this made me laugh. I like little insights into people's minds. It is always like opening a small treasure chest.

“Hi, how may I help you?” she ask in reply asked

Roger also laughed, but in hospitably, not because he found it humorous. do you mean in hospitality?

The wish maker looked down and get dead quite. quiet

People pushed each other out of the way in order to get to the center, and people shouted to each other tiring to make sense of everything. trying

Good description here, I liked the wording *Smile* Roger got to the fleshy mass and weeded his way through.

He continued to shout as he attempted to relive himself of his captors.relieve

Some people dressed in the same shade the vehicle lifted a sheet same shade of the vehicle

His grief at this point in the story is very stong and clear...and who can blame him? *Frown* Nice job and I think this was a good twist in the story!

the police man declared to the faces in the crowed. crowd

He wanted to speed up, but his heart was to heavy and just slowed him down even more too heavy

The dark twist at the end was very enjoyable. I also like the "Be careful what you wish for" elemant that reverberated throughout this story. With a little more detail and some revision, this has potential to be an entralling story. Keep up the good work and keep on penning away!
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436
Review of Out of Darkness  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I really liked the vivid imagery and avid description you use in your writing. Your opening hook is powerful and draws the reader in. The way you weave adjectives together to paint a picture for the reader is almost poetic. I really liked the talon-like hands and the shadows 'rocking and comforting like a mother's embrace'. Below are a few suggestions/corrections I hope you find helpful.


the name I have been know by for twenty years known

well defined chest: well-defined

He’s kissing me BACK!!!!!! Rang loudly in my head, my eyes sprang open as I broke off the kiss my lips still parted in astonishment. Try adding (The phrase) before 'Rang loudly in my head' And starting a new sentence with 'My eyes my eyes sprang open as I broke off the kiss (annd a comma here) my lips still parted in astonishment. This way you have a complete sentence.

I enjoyed the darkness of this piece and the flavorful flair you add to your writing. I hope to see more work from you in the future!
437
437
Review of Bumble Boy  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
You have an extrordinary ability to draw the reader in and make them feel each and every bit of sorrow and joy your character endures!

I really liked this line: His brain knew this and in defiance forced Jonathan’s eyes open again.

When he was thinking about being eleven and how eleven year old boys shouldn't cry anymore, it broke my heart. My son is almost ten and tries to exude the same unecessary toughness. I related strongly to this part.

The pain and failure Jonny felt at the park came across clearly in your writing. My heart broke for him as he watched his younger brother shine and endured his father's taunting new nick name for him.

Very vivid, I loved the memories he had of his grandmother and her hands as they played the piano. The descriptions of that were fabulous.

This continues throughout the story, each time, the raw torment seems to grow. It is obvious his only real ally is his mother with his father and brother both set against him.

You did a great job of building up the foreboding and dread before and durring the accident.

Your strength is definately playing into the reader's emotions through the characters. One is left hoping things will get better for Jon, that he will finally have his day to shine. They suffer along with him, growing angry and frustrated at his father's irrational behavior toward him. This makes your ending all the more heartbreaking.

An outstanding short story, I really enjoy this piece and wholly recommend it to anyone looking for an emotional read!
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438
Review of Bring Me To Life  
Review by Adriana Noir
Rated: E | (3.5)
First of all, this was totally not what I expected to read here! What a stunningly pleasant surprise. With Evanessence (this is the correct spelling of the band's name) being one of my favorites, I was drawn into this piece out of a sense of morbid curiousity. What I thought would be condemnation actually was a rather intruiging song fic!

A few things that stood out:

1. The girl had gotten the man to leave her alone by sinking her long nails deep in his throat, however it took the last of her strength. (The girl got the man to leave her alone by sinking her long nails deep into his throat. However, it took the last of her strength.) Another suggest might be drained or sapped the last of her strength. These are just my suggestions. It makes it flow easier and you had two independant clauses there.

2. How could she possible have questioned his love? (possibly)

3. The Earth shook as if it was being split into, but she didn't notice. (in two)

4. As their lips met in true love's kiss, all her strength returned, and her coloring returned to normal. (and her color returned to normal makes it flow a little better here.)

Reading through the descriptive wording, it is obvious you have a gift. The questions posed at the end were thought provoking and to be quite honest, I would love to see you go further into their story. Enjoyable piece of dark work!
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