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219 Public Reviews Given
265 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello J.A.Buxton!

I haven't looked through your port in a while, and this item caught my eye. I never saw it before, even though I just noticed it was created a year ago *Laugh*!

I enjoyed reading all you wrote. Your writing style, to me, has always been very enjoyable to read.

*Bullet*So you were able to publish Home of the Red Fox? Good for you! Now you're a published author. How exciting! Congratulations to you. I hope the sequel goes very well.

*Bullet*You Wrote: After retiring at an early age, my main love for writing finally took me over, and I haven't been able to stop. "It's a curse," as Adrian Monk would say. First, I wrote short stories about my favorite TV show, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, and its wonderful characters, mainly Grissom. I know just what you mean!! I remember when I used to go through a day and just had to write something. I must have started about 50 stories. After I watched a movie, heard a story, saw a picture, I had to write about it. I used up so many scrap sheets and pencils. I still have a bit of that, but not as crazy as I used to be. *Laugh*

*Bullet*You Wrote: Before retiring, I worked as a mainframe computer programmer and then as a medical transcriptionist. To be honest, being retired is much more interesting than work ever was. Wow! What an interesting career. I'm starting college now for a med degree.

*Bullet*You Wrote: This year, I compiled many stories I'd posted on an AOL message board into a diary about Fred the cat. He is a typical cat, and I bet you people who are owned by a frolicking feline will end up saying, "Hey, mine did that to me once!" Owned by a cat! *Laugh* I remember the days before my family got rid of my kittens...that's just how it used to feel...

*Bullet*I like your choice of music and heroes. Very nice. I was sorry to read about your sister, too. My sister and I are very close, and I can imagine how sad that would be.

*Bullet*Thanks for sharing this interesting biography! Take care, and have a great winter season.


×÷JAOLI÷×
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Review of 52 Candles  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi! I was just dropping by the autorewards and saw your poem. It was really touching. You write with a emotional pen, and the words just flowed. Very well done!

*Bullet*You Wrote: Then we, / Both sitting there in silence, / Can reflect upon our lives, / And I, perhaps, will reflect upon your life / And how it has affected me. I thought you wrote that very nicely. Just a sample of what I liked.

Thanks for sharing! Have a great winter, and take care.

×÷JAOLI÷×
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Review of Proudly I Stand  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was such a beautiful poem, and the rhyme and rhythm was done so well, that I'm going to have to give you another 5 stars! Even though it was very short, it was very catchy and well written. I would like seeing this on a Memorial Day or Veteran's Day card.

*Bullet*This was my favorite verse: With respect I stand / and hold the flag, / an honor and a priviledge / my duty without end. It was very good. However, one little suggestion: change priviledge to privilege.

Thanks for writing! I enjoyed looking through your port. Have a great day, and take care!
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Rated: E | (5.0)
What a nice little sig shop you have here. I really like it! Every image is so colorful, and pretty. The prices are very reasonable, too! Did you create these in Paint?

Great job. Take care!
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Review of Alarm  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This story was very well written! You began, wrote, and ended it at a fast-moving pace. I really enjoyed reading this, too! It was very good. How funny that all these things could happen to one person at one time. And then, the unexpected result that it is all a dream! Catching an early morning flight can be a difficult thing, it appears. Especially if you almost forget your tickets, your friend's cell phone doesn't work, the car won't start, and the driver won't go fast enough. You did a very good job with all these story elements.

Thanks for posting this! I enjoyed reading it. It does remind me a lot of the one I wrote, "Invalid Item" . Take care, and have a great day.

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Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings! Here is your third and last review in exchange for the payment of gift points. I chose to rate and review "Fiction: Writing the Synopsis"  because, firstly, it didn’t have an review; secondly, I liked the subject.

*Check1*You Wrote: A synopsis is an abridgment, an outline or a short presentation of any written work. A synopsis is necessary to tell an editor what the book is about and if its progression is reasonable. In some cases, an outline for a written-to-be work can aid the synopsis later. In other words, while the writer is outlining the plot, he may also be writing the synopsis. As usual, your first paragraph was very good. Great work!

*Check1*You Wrote: The synopsis is usually written from the omniscient point of view and in present tense, but I like to write the pre-planned version of the story from any one of the characters point of view. That’s a very good idea! When I wrote my synopsis, I never thought of trying to first write it from the main character’s view.

*Check1*You Wrote: Check out the tone of your synopsis. Does it match the book’s tone? If the tone of the book is light, the tone of the synopsis should be light, too, and if the tone of the writing is dark or serious, the synopsis should match that. All throughout this, you offered some good tips. This was one that was also good.

*Check2*You Wrote: If there is a secondary plotline, write it, too, but if only it has an effect on the main story. Suggestion: Leave out the comma between write it and too.

*Check2*You Wrote: From the start, it is a good idea to keep a notebook next to the computer or have notepad open on the computer for planning purposes. Suggestion: Put an a between have and notepad.

*Check2*You Wrote: The actual synopsis format should be typed in traditionally accepted fonts such as Courier, Arial, or Times New Roman. On the upper left hand of each page should be “Synopsis of #title of the book#” by #author’s name# and #the word count#. Were the # signs supposed to be quote marks? Anyway, this is what I read online elsewhere, about the certain types of font to use. Lulu, the publishing company I am going to use, states about eight different fonts that are allowed, and these are three of them.

*Check1*You Wrote: A one page synopsis can be single spaced with indented paragraphs. The rule of the thumb is: with detailed synopses, the accepted practice is one double-spaced page of synopsis for each 10,000 words, if the writer has 30,000 words in his work, he would have a three page synopsis. To sum it up, keeping the synopsis short, to the point, and in respectable form attracts the attention of the editors. I like how you began and ended this factual essay! This was very good.

*Bullet*Overall: 5.0 / 5.0 stars. The mistakes were very, very few—I only counted three—and I found no errors at all in the substance or main content. However, I do have a question: is this really fiction, since you titled it Fiction: Writing The Synopsis? Otherwise, great work! I enjoyed reading this. Take care, and have a great week!

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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello there! Here is my second review in payment for your purchase of three reviews. I’m enjoying my trip through your portfolio very much!

*Check1*I like how you begin with what the word television means. I never knew that it meant to see far. Your opening paragraphs are excellent! The second one is written very nicely.

*Check1*You Wrote: In 1831 Michael Faraday and Joseph Henry were the first scientists to experiment with electromagnetism, therefore establishing a start for electrical communication. They were followed by Samuel Morse in 1844 with his invention of the telegraph and then by Abbe Giovanni Caselli an Italian, who first sent images over a distance using a pantelegraph. I liked this paragraph! I always knew of Faraday and Morse, but it is very rare to hear the Italian mentioned. Suggestion: Put a comma after Caselli.

*Check1*You Wrote: In 1922 Philo T. Farnsworth, a sixteen year-old US citizen, developed an electrical scanning system. At about the same time in 1923, Iconoscope an electronic camera tube was patented by Vladimir Zworykin, who also produced the Kinescope, a picture display tube. I never knew that either! Suggestion: Did you mean an electronic camera tube called the iconoscope was patented by…

*Check2*You Wrote: Through closed-circuit television, security and surveillance problems are handled and schools, businesses, hospitals augment their programs. Just a small suggestion: a comma after are handled would help the reader to understand this sentence better.

*Check2*You Wrote: In 1873 two the Englishmen, May and Smith, used selenium and light with the idea to transform images into electrical signals. Did you mean In 1873, two Englishmen named…? Just a slight suggestion.

*Check1*You Wrote: That is when the first television star, Felix the Cat, was created. The first television drama “The Queen’s Messenger” also came to the screen in 1928. Isn’t that something…the first TV star was Felix the Cat! That sent me laughing!

*Check1*You Wrote: An interesting highlight in television transmission happened during World War II. As soon as the war started in 1939, September 1, BBC television stopped broadcasting in the middle of a Mickey Mouse Cartoon and in 1945 resumed the cartoon’s showing, starting where it left off in 1939. Another fact that I was amazed to read!

*Check1*You Wrote: By the time the first color television transmission started in 1951, there were over one hundred television stations in the USA. In 1979 there were three hundred million television sets flickering on and off, and by the year 2000, it was estimated to exist about one and a quarter billion television sets in operation worldwide That was a very good ending. I wonder how much the statistic would be in this year! Suggestion: Put a comma after the last sentence.

*Star*Overall Rating: 4.5/5.0 – Excellent Overall Content. I just felt like I came from a history lesson! You placed your facts very well. Nothing was confusing, except for the slight grammatical errors. I really enjoyed reading this through! Thank you for sharing your work, and keep on writing.


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Review of Earning It All  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello,

This is my first review in payment for the three port reviews that you purchased. I really enjoyed reading this story, "Earning It All" . It read just like a real mystery story, and I was surprised to reach the end so quickly!

*Check1*I like how you opened the story, with the main character waiting inside a bank. You expressed her thoughts and feelings about her new vocation and then went directly into the story. This was very good!

*Check1*Your paragraph style is very easy on the reader. I like how you keep the paragraphs short and easy to read.

*Check2*When your story begins, the main character’s name is Janice Fleischman. In the ninth paragraph, Janice changes to Janet and remains so until the paragraph above the last one. This is the only error I noticed.

*Check1*Overall: 4.5/5.0. Very Good! I can tell that you write very well. Keep up the good work!

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Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Winter greetings!

I've been searching today through several results on book publishing, and came on your interesting article. It was an enjoyable read!

Here were several selections I enjoyed:

*Check1* Instead perhaps I shall publish my own, one copy of the book at a time if necessary. I won’t make a profit, but I will reap richer rewards than that. I will have put my name to a book I am proud to show the world and all the satisfaction that that will afford me. My dream will be intact and as I have nothing to prove, nothing will be proved, except that I will have achieved and my book won’t be covered in spilt milk before it gets home. Yes! I think the exact same way! I'm self-publishing "The Knight of the Silver Lance"  with http://www.lulu.com in January 07, and even if I don't make hundreds, I'll still be able to hold a book written by me.

*Check1* I was frightened that the proposed publishers were going to trample over my dreams with their art department’s idea of a book cover, so asked my friend to help thwart the normal course of events. That's exactly why I'm trying to create my own book cover! It's very tough as I don't know anyone like you do to help me...four tries already and deleted all of them.

Thanks for sharing this. I enjoyed reading it!

Take care ~Jaoli

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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is a really good idea, to make a poll for your decision. I sent my book to PublishAmerica last year and was refused because of age limits. It looked very good, with hundreds of thousands of testimonials, and happy authors selling hundreds of copies. Then, about a week after contacting PublishAmerica, a Wdc friend of mine told me how this company was a scam, and sent several reference links. PA is reported to have illegally sold copies of author's books over the internet, and the proof looked pretty secure. It appears like the company is a scam.

Also, one week ago, I contacted New York Literary Association on the recommendation of a friend, and they immediately accepted my work. Two days later the friend emailed me saying it was all a scam! They also sold illegal copies, and, in the end, took more money from you and never sold one copy in a bookstore as promised.

So there are definitely a lot of scams out there for writers. I was amazed to find all this out! There is so much that can trap a new author. A lot of Writing.com friends really helped me with this, so I'm really glad to have joined up here.

As of date my book, "The Knight of the Silver Lance"  [E], is going to be self-published with http://www.lulu.com. Lulu offers the best deals for a self-publisher (2 cents/pg, free covers, etc!), as I couldn't find any other company that would accept my book.

I hope your publishing search comes through! Thanks for sharing this. Have a great day ~Jaoli

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Review of Lauren's Artwork  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I'm amazed at your talent with drawing. How did you do such beautiful, detailed sketchings? The one called "Infant in hand" was my favorite. I agree...sometimes pencil is perfect! Colors would have totally ruined it. I'm doing some illustrations for my book before it is printed in December, but I can't do anything like that.

Great work. I enjoyed looking through this folder! Have a great day ~Jaoli

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"Invalid Item" 
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Review of Equine  
Rated: E | (5.0)
You drew that?! What an excellent job! I really like how clearly you did the portrait. Did you use charcoal, or pencils? I can't ever seem to shadow right. It's especially hard to do that on animals. Great job!!

Thanks for sharing ~Jaoli

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Review of Snow Ice Cream  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello,

This was an enjoyable read. I always enjoy hearing someone speak of memories they have, and you have portrayed this specific memory with clarity. I enjoyed reading this!

*Bullet*You Wrote: She never took the first snow of winter, because that was “dirty” snow. The first snow was the one that cleaned the atmosphere of all contamination. It was the second snow that she used to make snow ice cream, this was “clean” snow; snow pure enough to eat. Isn't it something what grandmothers know? Mine certainly knows a lot.

*Bullet*You Wrote: Grandma took a teaspoon of vanilla, the cup of sugar and mixed it with the snow. She tasted it, and then usually added another teaspoon of vanilla. After that, the snow ice cream was ready for us to eat. This is when she got the ice cream bowls out of the cupboard and put the snow mixture into them. Then we would all set around the kitchen table and eat snow ice cream. I like how vividly you described this incident.

*Bullet*Overall: Great job! There were no spelling errors and this was a cute story to read. Thanks for sharing!

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .


Characters: 1,287
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Rated: E | (5.0)
@.@ I've never read such a head-whirling piece in my life! The amount of hilarity you put in made it worth reading. (I might have stopped a while ago, due to all those P's!)

*Bullet*You Wrote: The perky polka-dotted poodle painted proper purple platypuses peeling puce papaya fruits for payment by participating patrons preparing parties for a pretty bride and groom. I think I know why you have an auto reward. After reading that one sentence, my head was already whirling! Great job, though, at finding all those P's! *Laugh*

*Bullet*You Wrote: What a pleasure to enjoy such a special serenade, and the poodle saw the groom’s bride who was no longerafraid. Is there supposed to be a space between longer and afraid?

*Bullet*You Wrote: The wedding pair poised politely while the padre prophesied a paradise, so they promised one another to be caring and be wise. Is 'padre' Spanish for father here? (If so, you might want to add a footnote. If I didn't know a tidbit of Spanish, I would never have guessed what it meant *Wink*)

*Bullet*You Wrote: Perplexed by all he’d seen, the polka-dotted poodle pondered how the padre could propose such a panoramic dream. All the poodle had perceived in the parcels were pitch pipes, and what kind of paradise could a pitch pipe bring? Besides finding all those P words, you did a great job at adding the P adjectives! Though it makes for a brain-whirling story, I was just amazed at the amount of tongue-twisters you discovered!

*Bullet*Overall: A hilarious read. Good for the younger group, as I see you have appropriately listed! Thanks for sharing!

Have a great day ~Jaoli

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
Character count: 1,877
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Review of Clouds on Parade  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello,

I'm Jaoli and spotted your poem as I was going through the Static Item page. It has a very appropriate title, and each verse is written with lots of adjectives and color! Great job! I enjoyed reading this.

*Bullet*You Wrote: Capricious winds
from an unperceived place / swirl, then leave / without a trace. I love the words you chose. This poem paints a vivid picture of the subject chosen! I'd recommend, though, using caps on the first letter of every new line, as in most forms of poetry. Swirl, Without, etc., should be capitalized.

*Bullet*You Wrote: The clouds drift by
like they're on parade. / Who knows where they're bound / or where they're made? Again, perfect wording. I really like your style.

*Bullet*Rhyming Pattern: The first line of each of your three verses each have three beats. However, the second, third, and fourth line of each verse differs from the seperate verses. Vs. 1 is 3.4.4.3 rhyming pattern: vs. 2 is 3.5.3.3; and vs. 3 is 3.4.5.5. So, as far as correct poetry form your poem is irregular. Your word choices are all excellent, but the rhyming stanza isn't correct. I'd suggest rewriting each three lines of the verses after you decide on a pattern to follow. Your pattern can be anything of your choice; but it has to be followed somehow throughout the following verses.

*Bullet*Overall: A great job! Of course, the rhyming pattern could be improved, but since your wording and form is excellent, I give you an 'above average' rating. You have a terrific start: three verses, four lines to every verse, and a good imagination.

Have a great day ~Jaoli

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

Character count: 1,845
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Oooh, look how much nicer you got it. Any way to do a 5.5? *Laugh* I don't see how you could get it any better. Plus, you picked the perfect border color! I'm so glad you liked my suggestion that much.

Take care, and have a great day ~Jaoli

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Rated: E | (5.0)
Beautiful! The calmness of the stream that you captured in this photo is perfectly serene. This would make a very nice painting, and a beautiful sig. A border and contrast increase might even add a bit *Wink*

Great job! Thanks for sharing ~Jaoli

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Review of Review Sig  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is beautiful! I like how the tree stretches out over the water. The color and 'bezel' addition to the font is gorgeous, too.

Thanks for sharing! Take care ~Jaoli

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Review of The Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is such a beautiful little piece. I really like the picture...it instantly drew me in! Thanks so much for sharing.

*Bullet*You Wrote: The body of water was larger than a puddle but smaller than a lake. Canadian geese spotted it from overhead and landed for a quick meal before heading north again. The water teemed with fish, which attracted hungry animals who were expert at catching them with one paw. I like the creativity of your words, and how you put them together. Just like your book. The more adjectives for me the better! *Bigsmile*

*Bullet*You Wrote: Is this a memory of seeing it in another life? This was under the title header. I'm not too sure what you mean here...the content doesn't seem to go along with it.

*Bullet*Overall: Excellent job. I enjoyed reading this.

Thanks for sharing! Take care ~Jaoli

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Review of The Cat's Meow  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I enjoyed reading this! The picture of your cat was so cute. My family used to own a cat named Princess, and she looked just like yours. We gave her away to a farm long ago...and, like you said in your story, there's just so much a cat owner could say of their cat! *Wink*

*Bullet*You Wrote: Somehow, we always knew that Princess would be the cat of a lifetime for us. We purchased her at a pet store, a four week old kitten, for ten whopping dollars! Wow!! A few years ago we bought two kittens from the Human Society...it came up to $75.

*Bullet*You Wrote: At some point, ladies decked cats with jewels and bequeathed them their worldy goods. LOL! I enjoyed reading your cat history too. I've heard of this before. There was a funny story about a very rich old lady who left her entire house and money to her pet poodle! You can guess why her relations didn't cry too much at her funeral *Laugh*

*Bullet*You Wrote: “TYBALT: What wouldst thou have of me? “ / “MERCUTIO: “Good King of Cats, nothing but your nine lives.” Excellent reference from Shakespeare!

Thanks for sharing. You have a nice, direct style of writing that is very easy to read! I enjoyed this piece. Take care ~Jaoli

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Review of sig 2  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is such a cute sig...it reminds me of spring! I like the pastels blending into different shapes and flowers. catclaws does an excellent job!

Thanks for sharing. Have a great day ~Jaoli

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Review of MISCELLANEA  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I think this is an excellent way to encourage poetry! I like how you present the aim and rationale, as well as background and rhythm/rhyme. There is definitely a need for law and order in a poem, before it can be a good one. I'm going to try to write one soon.

Have a great day, and thanks for sharing ~Jaoli

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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I think this is an excellent poem! It describes and keeps very well according to the 'aabb 7-7-7-7 format'. Great work!!

*Bullet*You Wrote: You have gentle habits such, / Papa always loves you much. There's an example of correct rhythm and rhyme! Good job!

*Bullet*You Wrote: Genna, I’m glad you are mine! I did find this line a bit odd. It was beneath the last line of your last verse. Is it just an ending thought? If so, I think it would pass (and well). But if its meant to be in the poem...hmm...

*Bullet*Overall: Excellent work. You definitely have the knack of writing a good poem. This makes me think that you have either written or learned a lot about acrostics and correct forms of poetry...with a lot of time put into it. Keep up the good work!

Thanks for your review of "Invalid Item"  and the invitation to join "POETRY IN RHYME - RHYTHM CONTEST-winner" . I'd like to do some editing first =)

Take care ~Jaoli

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Review of Spring  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is such a lovely sonnet! I like the rhythm, it all seems to match very well, and your word choices were excellent. The signature image is also a nice addition. Great job!

*Bullet*You Wrote: Caressed by gentle sun rays / through Oak and Maple veils, / ending Winter's cold display, / walking our favorite trails. Great writing. I think that's my favorite verse =)

*Bullet*You Wrote: then listen to their laughter / til' warmth of day is done. In the last line, I think you might have til] backwards...isn't it 'til? Or can it be done either ways? I'm not too sure about this *Reading*

*Bullet*You Wrote: See the Geese fly overhead, / they're heading to the north. / a neighbor works her garden / soon flowers will come forth. I noticed that you have every new sentence capitalized after a . up until this verse. Try capitalizing a for new sentence *Idea*

*Bullet*You Wrote: Spring is, so sweet and pungent, / we see it everywhere. / A season full of growth and love; / and a sensory affair. Suggestion: take out the comma after Spring is.

*Bullet*Stanza/Rhyming: It rhymes very well, but I did notice a few off-beats with the stanza. The flow of your poem is 7.6.7.6, and nearly all the lines match this beat to perfection. However, the last line of the first verse - Spring is here, it's at our feet. is one beat too long, and , and both lines of the last verse, A season full of growth and love; / and a sensory affair., are a beat too long as well. Try taking out the 'and' in the very last line, and I'd recommend playing around with the other lines to get them to match.

I enjoyed this! Thanks for sharing & Write On ~Jaoli

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Review of An Embedded Poll?  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found this on the WritingML page somewhere...*wonders* Now how could that happen? *laugh* Never mind. Anyways, I was thrilled to see 2,052 Votes on Yes, I enjoy it a whole lot! (Referring to WdC online time) That's 82% *cheers*

Thanks for sharing. Hope all goes well & have a great day! ~Jaoli

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