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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/proton69
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28 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by proton69
In affiliation with Beginners  
Rated: E | (2.0)
Competition is always a perfect way to judge merit.Wherever the question comes of judgment of merit there must have to be a fair competition. In WDC it's also necessary, though I don't have merit.But I like the competition idea. Definitely it'll improve skill. But in my opinion I think as the prize it is needed to give money to the winners. I always dreamed to write. But when money comes first importance in life, and no gettable job do to for earning money, can't continue writing but writing can be helpful if it become a profession. If administration think and try to do something, not big amount, a very little amount, that give inspiration for working hard and can keep the candle burning for hope of life. Actually getting gift point and getting opportunity of buying goods can't help the problem that's what I want to say for consideration and humbly request to think my point of view. That's all.
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Review of Winter  
Review by proton69
In affiliation with Beginners  
Rated: E | (1.5)
It's a clear picture of winter season of a country where temperature goes below the gero degree. Snow falls, people walks wearing boots and slade. Where fireplace give heat to be warm. In my country we become scared imagining the scene because in winter temperature remains above 10 degree. And it will be horrible scene to us if we see snow is falling. Because if the temperature goes below 10 degree, people die.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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3
Review of Ecoute  
Review by proton69
In affiliation with Beginners  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is actually a good lyric, if I could have the permission to take this, I had made this a song. It's a poetry of dissention or disunion of two hearts.The words really are from weary heart. The poet is desperate to mend the relation. Just the regrate. Wonderful way of expressing the felling. I found thrill in "if I could have cried.....Very nice.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
4
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Review by proton69
In affiliation with Beginners  
Rated: E | (3.0)
The story is about Juno Huxley, an unwanted child left by parent on the Birmingham new street station. Another lady Parker who took her to her parent.Juno Huxley develops relationship with her mother, who adopted her as youngest child, and sister Parker, but she develops a separate entity as she had no biological relation with them. Nice story and though few hard and new words I found but the story is easily understood.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
5
5
Review of Practice!  
Review by proton69
In affiliation with Beginners  
Rated: E | (2.0)
Well that is a realizatiOn.practice makes a person perfect.yes, when we learn something new we need to practice to become the thing easier.Even older thing which we do regularly, needs the regularity to maintain. It becomes harder when we start to do anything after a break. Seems like I never did it before.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by proton69
In affiliation with Beginners  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Nice and clearly the picture drawn. A good writer,don't need to mention. Don't worry Grant....After this 'is "typed double.please check out.Nice writing,though few words here are unknown to me for as I'm not English man, but clearly understood the story. Tallya and Jackie may be lover or friends or associate to each other, are chased by enemy through the snowy land, can be on mountain. Night time and they had to tally had to off the flash light to get a scale, but Jackie is in trouble. Night was though lighted by moon but now it is off too for cloud. Very bad luck for both Tally and Jackie. Hope he is not my favorite hero Jakie Chain, and if he is , I need to go there for savage.😊


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
7
7
Review of The Dream  
Review by proton69
In affiliation with Beginners  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Nice story,easy English easy for reading.The author is successful in sketching the scene,a nightmare and reaction is perfect even after waking up from the sleep.Adam's for head's bleeding,he's a former captain of the army.He was held hostage but it's not clear if Sarah was there or not.If it doesn't matter but anyone can have such nightmare from m constant anxiety about someone.It's not clear too how Adam is related to Sarah. But it don't matter. Nice writing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
8
8
Review of Blindness  
Review by proton69
In affiliation with Beginners  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Optimism,Ambition that keep us alive.But there are reasons of present time to be pessimist. Here is morbidity, diseases that demands to be extremist about too many things in the society.But optimist can't see or ignore, don't want to find reason for sadness of the pessimist society.That is told in the poetry.It's very nice and had pleasure.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
9
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Review of Ocean  
Review by proton69
In affiliation with Beginners  
Rated: E | (2.5)
It seem the author a lot of grief.Sorrow has depth like ocean.How many years can be with the water of ocean!He is talking to someone,may be the reader that he can even get drowned, sunk in the depth of water.Easiest one sentence to express pain.Very nice.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
10
10
Review of Ice Cream Bowls  
Review by proton69
In affiliation with Beginners  
Rated: E | (4.0)
The story has depth in theme.You shouldn't comprehend if you don't give time for thinking.It reveals a bigotry, or an autocrat mind that can't find out any option or alternative.It's bigotry in that sense for ice cream eating cup is not allowed.It's an autocrat mind, elite families or king's family don't want to mix with general people.Very good story in simple,understandable English.Thanks to the author.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
11
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Review of Mount Vesuvius  
Review by proton69
In affiliation with Beginners  
Rated: E | (4.5)
The author in this poetry is talking about mistake or misdeed.Who's gonna forgive that's the question.He wants to rise up again.He wants to grow i newly in a turned back time.what mistake or misdeed that's not clear, but it seem like he regret for someone gave his life.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Internet  
Review by proton69
In affiliation with Beginners  
Rated: E | (3.0)
A different topic on which, the part of the story is written.The pumpkin pies but we bandlab artists were preparing pumpkin spice in the October month for music contest.Anyway the author has picked up one factor that technology specially internet made the change, and selling through online,shopping has become easy.But in an undeveloped country like ours still these salesmen are annoying.But Alice giving poisonous liquid ?!?Tied to the car?Ha ha...Killing off traveling salesman?Oh!Yes,I've been learning old frozen food go bad.I like this writing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
13
13
Review by proton69
In affiliation with Beginners  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Well,it seems the author has written a letter.And from this letter we see the picture of boyhood of the author,when lived separated from mother.Now the age is forty when the author's parents, grandma and pa is perished and the author have 5 kids.The author sketched a clear picture of mother's love and affection for what the author was even kidnapped.Excilent story with so many events as the author recalls and story progresses.easy English,I read very easily and had the felling of emotion.I wish I would write someday like this.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
14
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Review by proton69
Rated: E | (4.0)
Great.It's beyond making any comment.
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Review by proton69
Rated: E | (4.0)
Ha ha ha.....Very funny,but how was your food?Tasty?Such a funny fiction...Very good.I like it.I was busy to catch your idea,so didn't gave importance to grammar.But I enjoyed and can see the scene you are eating a giant lady's leg toe...Ha ha Rebecca...And you are slave for cleaning leg licking.... wak!chhih!shrink!Oh you sad sweaty legs but how the socks smell?Sorry for Jacob,he will have to stay long in doll house.I'm giving you 10 gift points,that I'm first giving to someone...Ha ha...And 4 stars,that is first too.
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Review by proton69
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Well,though I'm not familiar with the tastes of the foods named here,must be so delicious,and this already watering my mouth, so I can't talk more.The allurement of food,calling Johnny Angel to return in life shows a different type of love.But who is that Johnny Angel?Any human or animal like dog?But quiet stupid I think.How he can make delay for return?If this calling was for me...Oh!I should have eaten like child....Made those things together the author wanted to.Very nice poem,natural expression of love and affection.I like it very much.Great!
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Review of Noises  
Review by proton69
Rated: E | (2.5)
Nice story!But a two year old little girl can make long sentences?That's a question here.I think the age is a problem here.It's very simple we manage child doing so many things.We lie,we create fairy tale,characters....It's o.k.But two year old baby don't become so much concerned listening sound.But they listen with attention and they also guess.I think writer needs to consider the baby's age.The baby's age will have to be at least 6yrs.In this age they can complete the sentence and their curiosity to know grows up.I find this is only the weak point.
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Review by proton69
Rated: E | (3.0)
Heading needed to write in capital letter,as I saw in a review of my article,one author suggested .Salty message of farewell is nice.And goodness of death ,that the dust of human body nourishes plant,as writer thought made this poetry very unique,and this nourishment will help to boom a flower of honour of life is very high thinking.Thus the author found a "goodness of death!"is a great consolation for us.I like this very much.The words picked very simple,but the thought is too high.Thanks.
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Review by proton69
Rated: E | (2.5)
The subject matter is money.This is the age of money.If you want to buy a scarcity of things you need money.And you'll miss a lot.But if you don't give importance to consume.....Well that simple thing is written very well.Though I'm reading this as new reader and also in English,find not much things to improve.Because the author knows better than me.I'm just learning the things.The poem is very nice,and the passion expressed very nicely.Actually for this expression of passion it became a little unclear about the subject matter for a while.But then.....Nice poem.
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