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118 Public Reviews Given
120 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I tend to write relatively short reviews based on my initial feelings about the piece. I try and point out any grammatical errors and I give the author feedback on what areas I particularly liked and what I struggled with. I am honest and to the point, but also encouraging.
I'm good at...
picking up on punctuation and the general flow of the piece.
Favorite Genres
Thrillers, mystery, crime, emotional
Least Favorite Genres
sci-fi
Favorite Item Types
poetry, short stories
Public Reviews
Previous ... 1 -2- ... Next
26
26
Rated: E | (2.5)
Unfortunately there are random characters within this piece, maybe from you cutting and pasting it in from a different application? This detracts from the piece, which I believe to be very well-meaning and a useful guide for new puppy owners.
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27
Review of A Poetic Mind  
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like this poem, the words are well thought and I'm sure they ring true for many poets as they do for me. I think my only suggestion would be to have a look at the how the poem reads aloud. There are a couple of areas where the flow stutters a little. It is a good piece though. Write on.
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28
Review of For Mom  
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is clearly a very emotional and heartfelt poem for the author. I liked the sentences such as 'We'll be laughing and smiling as we once had'. My only suggestion is that you include some more punctuation and maybe group some of the sentences into stanzas, which will give a better structure for the reader. The powerful single sentences could stay as singles - e.g. 'I know she's only sleeping' to provide more emphasis.
Keep writing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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29
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a truly great group. I'm learning so much already!
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30
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
This poem told a story and I could understand it, so that was good. The only thing I struggled with was that it didn't really flow for me. The very short sentences didn't bring me into the poem, they were just words on a page. If you fleshed it out a bit, it would have more impact I feel.
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31
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a lovely poem. I picked this poem as the title appealed to me and I wanted to return the favour of the reviews you have given me recently. I really liked the last stanza as I could picture the street lamp and it made me imagine a winter scene. Everything flowed nicely. The only thing I couldn't quite grasp was the children's footprints being buried beneath.
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32
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (2.0)
I started reading this story as it looked intriguing. However, I did notice quite early on that you hadn't used much punctuation. I don't think there were any commas in the piece at all. I stopped for a moment, unsure whether to carry on, but I decided I would read to the end and then write a review.

I liked your plot and you took the time to explain the type of characters Sage and Luna were.

I think you spell-checked the story, but what that doesn't pick up is mistakes such as The and Then, and the odd word mistakenly inserted e.g.

a little smile on his face I my heart starts to beat really fast

These little errors make a big difference to the reader. If you read and re-read your work over and over, you'll pick up these mistakes, which will make the story much better.

I really liked the sentence:

'We drove for a very long time I kept checking the little clock in the truck and the little blue numbers mocked me as more and more time passed.'

Its descriptiveness showed promise.

Keep writing.
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Review of Rain  
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
The structure of the poem made it quite hard to read. There are a few grammatical errors and for me personally, the line spacing was a bit too much. I think if it was structured differently, it would have more of an impact. I am sure you meant for the emotion of the piece to shine through, but it was a little lost. Keep writing.
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Review of A Winter's Kiss  
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I loved the descriptive nature of this poem. I can imagine the frost on the windows during a cold spell and I really liked the first two lines. My only comment would be that there are a couple of lines where the rhyming doesn't quite work - 'Like diamonds of winter's grace' and 'A bitter and chilling painter'. If I read it aloud, these lines seemed to need an extra word/syllable to keep the flow going. Great job though. Keep writing. *Smile*
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Review of Gift for Natalie  
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
This story weaved the prompt in well and I enjoyed the middle and end, where everything started to come together. There are a couple of minor grammar mistakes (4th line - you'll pick it up as soon as you read it) *Smile*

I struggled a bit with the beginning. It was a bit confusing with the different characters and my opinion is that you probably didn't need to bring that many into it - Shelly, Tyler and the boss was a bit too much.

I loved the italics of his thoughts, that worked really well.

Near the end, the "Who's Natalie?" question seemed a bit out of place, coming after she had already answered to the name when he had first stepped in - "Natalie, it's me..."

I enjoyed reading it though and I could picture the scene, which gripped me. Keep writing. *Smile*
36
36
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I love Harry Potter so was happy when this random review popped up. It is a well-written piece, but being familiar with the stories, I could hazard a guess at what was coming at the end. I suppose, with this in mind, maybe a few metaphors or something would liven it up a bit and keep the reader's interest. I'm not sure what the contest's word count is.

The story could quite easily be part of the Harry Potter series, I could picture Harry and the scene, I just wanted a little bit more.
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Review of Lingering Dreams  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I liked this piece and it ties in perfectly with the prompt. I found the stanza 'The day collapses on me' powerful, but for some reason I couldn't quite link it to the rest of the poem. It seemed a little out of place with your choice of words. Then again, (as I re-read it again), it does bind with the 'After the long day'. So, I guess I just found that I needed to read it over several times to truly understand it and that's why I can't give it 5*. *Smile*
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Rated: E | (3.5)
I liked your usage of words, although found your use of punctuation a little confusing. I also wasn't sure about the title of the poem. I enjoyed your line about the angel clipped of wings and I could picture the petal. It is a nice poem and thanks for sharing. Keep writing.
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Review of Ghost  
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I really enjoyed this piece of poetry. It flowed brilliantly and was very moving. I had to read and re-read it to truly take in its meaning - the descriptions were such that the vision of what you were explaining didn't immediately spring to mind. However, each well thought out line did invoke emotion in me.
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40
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello,

I thought I'd review this poem as you've reviewed one of mine. I really liked the descriptive nature, but for the first few sentences my mind was concentrating on trying to work out if the poem was supposed to rhyme on not. I was picking up on things like whether sensations was rhyming with emotions, rather than letting the poem take me on the journey.

I liked phrases such as 'It's like an amalgam of forgotten sounds', but the sour cream metaphor seemed like it was just put there as it happened to rhyme with dream.

I think, as the thought and meaning behind the poem was quite powerful, maybe losing the rhyming could have given it a bit more impact as it would have allowed you to choose the perfect words to describe the feelings. You have a creative mind so keep writing. *Smile*
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Review of Snowflake  
Rated: E | (3.5)
As I read, I liked the initial few lines that turn the reader into the snowflake. It held together well and had impact. As the poem carried on, the difference in stanza sizes caused me to lose the rhythm as I was reading. This was a shame as the words themselves were powerful. Keep writing.
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42
Rated: E | (3.0)
I think I got what you were trying to portray, a devoted fan watching their idol. It was written well, although there were a couple of times when I thought that there were commas in wrong places - but I'm not sure if that is deliberate to make the reader pause. Descriptions were good, but the grammar let it down slightly and made it harder to read fluidly. Keep writing.
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Review of Happiness  
Rated: E | (2.0)
I like the way you are building up to a climax at the end, but if I'm honest I lost interest after the first five lines or so. I think that possibly less lines would have made more of an impact on the reader as each line would still be in the mind as you reach the end. As it was, by the time I read the end I had forgotten the beginning. The concept and message you are trying to convey is good though. Keep writing. *Smile*
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Review of change  
Rated: E | (2.5)
The first four paragraphs had me hooked. It was thrilling and interesting. However, the second part lost the thrill and became more of an explanation rather than part of a story - I lost interest at that stage. I was expecting to learn more about the person in the second section rather than a bit of a lecture about why it is ok to be different. I do think you have a talent for writing as the first section was enthralling from the start and I wanted to carry on reading - which I guess is what it is all about. *Smile*
45
45
Rated: E | (2.0)
I'm new on here, so probably know very little and therefore apologise in advance if I'm talking rubbish. However one of my pet hates is incorrect spelling and punctuation. Where is a broom, where is a mop? has more impact. Also, 'Some in her hair' would have more impact with an exclamation mark at the end. The poem itself does what it says and I could imagine the scene, which is a good thing. *Smile*
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