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153 Public Reviews Given
153 Total Reviews Given
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26
26
Review of Saying Goodbye  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review your piece, "Saying Goodbye"  in association with "Invalid Item" .
 
 Story and Creativity:
 
 
         What do you get when you cross a beautiful life with emotions from helplessness? This poem. I don’t have any notes honestly…you can’t judge how someone struggles with understanding something deeper than we’re normally accustomed to…this is a sad subject, and your last. line, “You can’t say goodbye when no one is there” squeezes my heart.


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         Of course I have nothing here. Your works are always consistent. Thank you for using punctuation and showing others how to use it without hurting any kind of flow. In fact, I’d say the punctuation gives it that extra punch, to show a reader how this piece should be read. But that’s one of many aspects of your writing that’s consistent. I feel like any mistakes or accidents are just that, an unintentional typo…but again, none here.


Summary:
 
 
         You are one of the best writers on this site, in my opinion. Your subject matter is never shallow except when done in fun, and this piece substantiates that. I’m so excited you’re writing as much as you are. You’re on fire this year!! And even though this is a difficult subject, it’s a strong piece. Excellent!!

 
 
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27
27
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
I’m writing as I’m listening…I love this. It touches something in me I needed, a break in cultural differences. There is such an energy transferred from the two of you to the listener that causes my heart to feel as if it was exploding. I’m so thankful you did these, so honored to have listened. To hear a piece from another culture in the language, in the accent…one of the most beautiful pieces to touch my heart. Thank you so much!!
28
28
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow! This is one of the most interesting pieces on this site, hands down. I love it! The accent, the story…ugh, it makes me very thirsty for more like this. I as a citizen of the United States do not know as much about the world as I should, and it might sound silly, but I feel my privilege being checked here, and it needs to be. What some think of as hardships are just life to those living it, and maybe that perception changes everything. I love you for educating us, and for you and your father opening up on such a personal level as to put your voice out there. Awesome job! Seriously, thank you for the perception-slap!
29
29
Review of [ Doubt ]  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review your piece, "[ Doubt ]"  in association with "Invalid Item"  and "Rising Stars Summer Camp" .
 
 Story and Creativity:
 
 
         Welcome to WDC! I can already tell you’re gonna be an asset, and I hope it returns the favor to you like it has me. You may be a newbie to the site, but you have written something here substantiating your time and work within the craft. I don’t normally love rhyming poetry because it seems to be the easy way out these days. But this piece…I love it. Despite the name, I’m not a poet naturally, so I appreciate the time you must have put into this piece, to find the perfect word to convey what you mean while finding a rhyme that isn’t Dr. Seuss-y. You’ve captured the feeling of [doubt] so well here. Excellent job!


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         There is little punctuation, and while I notice that kind of thing, I don’t feel comfortable reviewing against the punctuation just in case it may have been a metaphor for the larger point of the piece that I may have missed. Even if this is an accident, it’s very easy to fix. And if it was intentional, then right on. There are a couple of punctuation issues, but, again, I’m not judging the talent because my iPad often changes “its” to “it’s” without my consent. These are little things, nothing to even think twice about once fixed. Outside of that, there aren’t weakness in the execution. And the only reason I speak of the punctuation is because sometimes readers have to shown how to read a piece the way you hear it in your voice.

Summary:
 
 
         What a great piece! For me, I’m learning my place on this planet, and the last line (“For there is not a verdict in anything but doubt”) is a slap to the heart. And this is all why I say you will be an asset to this site. This piece was so much better than I could have hoped for from a “newbie”. If you ever need help, especially concerning the site, please don’t hesitate to message me! If I can’t answer your concern, I can direct you to someone who can. Welcome to WDC!

 
 
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30
30
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review your piece, "What Mask Do You Wear?"  in association with "Invalid Item" .
 
 Story and Creativity:
 
 
         First off, welcome to WDC! As a newbie myself, I can testify this site, if you learn how to use it, will help boost your writing abilities to the best of your talent, and I’m very excited for your journey here!
           I like what you did with this, how the darkness starts as soon as the eyes are open. The only critique I really have concerning the material is this: I think you can take it further. This is an excellent piece, but I feel like you know this subject better than you’ve expressed. It’s painful, it’s lonely…and please don’t take that as a negative…you have an excellent start here, and it wouldn’t take much for you to really push it, to delve down into the deeper, darker parts of yourself that aptly describe what this feeling is. Such a good piece!


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         The layout is a little difficult to read, but honestly, that’s all I can find on a large scale. I’m not even holding that against you, and here’s why: WDC allows their writers more control over their pieces by using what’s called Mark-up Language, an easier version of HTML. That knowledge comes with experience, and that’s not your fault. Basically, I’m saying awesome piece, technically.


Summary:
 
 
         I think this is excellent. I do believe you can dive into it, wring those emotions from your soul, but to be fair, that’s something I’m also learning. It doesn’t mean anything negative…it’s actually very positive, because it means you can do it! Just from what I’ve read, I already know you have it in you!! Such a good piece! Please, keep writing, because you have something there. And if you ever have questions, please feel free to contact me! So glad you’re here!!

 
 
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31
31
Review of No Sunset Tonight  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "A GHA Fundraiser"   by Lilith of House Martell ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         You always convey such a good message, one that always needs to be found by…someone. This is so apt, to remember to stop…breathe…it’s all there, and it’s all okay. I really love the part, “not even an excellent imagination could force into being a dragon or anything else”.


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         I really like what you did here, how you executed this piece. The first half where the woman grouses, complains, and mourns are met pointedly with your reactions of insisting, continuing, and, best of all, smiling. Word choice is amazing, the flow is innate. You use punctuation to direct the flow…and you capture a snapshot of one very fussy patron and why there was no sunset for her.


Summary:
 
 
         As usual, you have given a well-written piece. You tell a story, paint this picture, and even though I don’t know what she looks like or what her name is, I don’t need to; I know this woman. I sometimes am this woman. And anyone who is serious about writing would do well to pay attention to your works, to see what you’ve done, how you’ve executed it, and why the stories you tell through poetry work. This is where I normally say the world needs your stories, that you shouldn’t stop writing, but I bet your muse doesn’t give you that option. Ha HA!! ;)

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen
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32
32
Review of The Dark...  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "A GHA Fundraiser"   by Lilith of House Martell ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         Ooooh, this is a really cool piece! It reminds me of an episode of The Twilight Zone, “The After Hours”. You’ve presented a really cute story that starts out dark and scary, and I love what you did here. That’s so cool!


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         I’ve read a few pieces of yours, and of course this is well-written. Your word choice, the flow…you even managed, in such few words, to throw in a twist. Great poem!


Summary:
 
 
         You had me hooked with your words choice in the beginning, and then the dark turned into cute! What a great piece, especially given how many words you used! I’m a fan!

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen
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33
33
Review of INVISIBLE DRAGON  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "A GHA Fundraiser"   by Lilith of House Martell ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         What a great poem! You’ve put a message and slapped a metaphor on it, and I love it! You turned something dirty into art, and this was a perfect read for so many reasons. For one, you put in a message, a real message. The flow is beautiful, effortless. Excellent job!


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         I couldn’t find any issues with this five-star piece. The way you wrote it, it’s beautiful. It’s such a good poem that one might think writing this was easy and only took a minute…I know better. I can see your hard work in your word choices and analogies. Great job!


Summary:
 
 
         You’ve written a perfect poem, at least to me. I feel strongly about the subject matter, and, as a reader, I have no problem following your metaphors. Such a good piece!

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen
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34
34
Review of The Storm  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (4.5)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "A GHA Fundraiser"   by Lilith of House Martell ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         What a cute story! And there’s a twist! I’ve never thought about a story with talking squirrels, but I bet they probably have the coolest conversations. The characters are cute, and because you did a good job on them, I’m all about following where they were going.


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         The only thing I could find that could be considered an issue is the three periods after the word “shower” near the end…a comma would work better, but if this was a decision to keep those, then the piece actually still stands…it’s not enough to really pull a reader from the piece. You also did a very good job of creating a full story in just so few words. You’re really good!


Summary:
 
 
         This is such a cute story, so entertaining. You did a good job presenting this, a good job showing. I see this was a contest entry, and I hope you’re proud of it…you have a strong piece here, and it was fun to read. You should keep writing because you’re good, and the world needs more stories like this one. Great job!

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen
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35
35
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "A GHA Fundraiser"   by Lilith of House Martell ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         I’m not usually a fan of stories for kids, but who can hate an Owl named Hooter? That’s awesome! This story is really cute, and I love the message of determination and patience. I’ve fan’d you for this piece…even though we write different things, I can still see the work you’ve put into this, and I love that. And, in the end, you have a fun, strong piece with a message. I think you’ve definitely found a genre you’re good at! So cute!


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         I couldn’t find anything that took me from the story to notice errors. I don’t know how you wrote the ending without making yourself dizzy! By the time I realized how I was reading it, I realized it was too late, I was already in your clutches and fell to the purpose of this piece. It did exactly what it’s supposed to do, and you did a really good job bringing it together.


Summary:
 
 
         What a cute story! This was not difficult for me to read at all, and even when I realized it was for a younger audience, it was too easy to keep going. You gave lil Hooter an arc, and he succeeded. This honestly checks all of the boxes for me. Entertaining and great job! Please keep writing, because this piece is why!!

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen
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36
36
Review of Summer Jam  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "A GHA Fundraiser"   by Lilith of House Martell ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         I see you’re new to WDC, so welcome! I see you’re not new to writing. Ha HA! No, really, I can tell that you’ve got a lot of experience under your belt. This reads in my head like “Stomp!” plays in my ears (in a good way)…this piece just became musical, and I find that to be a really cool aspect.


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         I didn’t find any real issues outside of maybe a couple of punctuation issues…but with poetry, it’s hard for me to tell when that’s done intentionally or as a mistake, and in any case, it never took me from the piece. Excellent job!


Summary:
 
 
         I don’t know how you did it, but you managed to create this symphony of words that creates very succinct imagery. It’s very easy to see this piece move as a movie, and I have no idea how you did that. This is the first piece of yours I’ve read, and I’m already a fan. I mean, really, you were born to write. Please don’t ever stop! Excellent job!

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen
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37
37
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "A GHA Fundraiser"   by Lilith of House Martell ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         Okay, I’m officially a fan. Great piece, full of knowledge with that twist of art. You are really good. I always love a piece from which I can learn something. Good job!


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         I found no issues with this piece, and you’ve earned my trust as a reader to follow you down whatever journey you wanna take me. I already know there will be the minimum amount of accidents, and nothing to take me from the story. That’s a comforting feeling, to find a writer new to me in whom I can place trust equal to that I give someone like Stephen King or Rod Serling. Perfect!


Summary:
 
 
         I’m definitely a fan, and I would love to see everyone jump onto your stories to read them. Your presentation, this poem, is so well-done! Excellent job!! Again! Lol

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen
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38
38
Review of Coorah Cockatoo  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (4.5)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "A GHA Fundraiser"   by Lilith of House Martell ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         I like where you took this story, and there’s a moral at the end! You have a real message, an important one. You’ve labeled this story as “children’s”, but adults could stand to read this message, also. Great job!


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         The only issue I found (and I only bring it up because it’s such an easy fix to make this piece so strong) is when you say “she heard her families stories”…because they are the stories of the family, it would be written “family’s stories”…the way it’s written means more than one family without ownership to more than one story. Otherwise, this piece is presented well. Again, great job!


Summary:
 
 
         I agree with this story, and as an adult, I feel this should be a message found by the masses. You are a really good writer, and any mistakes I’ve found by you are simple edits, accidents made when our fingers type too fast trying to keep up with our brain. I see you’re new to WC, also, so welcome! If you keep this up, keep telling your stories with your voice, you’re gonna have no problem finding your niche here. Excellent piece!

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen
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39
39
Review of Corona  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "A GHA Fundraiser"   by Lilith of House Martell ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         Even with so few words, you told a story, and you conveyed the feeling of this thing. I bow to you on that!


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         This is so cool, how you set it up. Props on the work it took to make this look as perfect as it does. I’m relatively new to poetry, and this style is new to me. I love it! To me, it’s fresh, and you did a great job choosing your words.


Summary:
 
 
         For a heavy concept, this is a great piece! It’s creative and artistic, and you have a story in there, also. Pretty sure that checks off all my boxes. Great job!

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen
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40
40
Review of personality  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "A GHA Fundraiser"   by Lilith of House Martell ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         First of all, welcome to WDC! I’m glad I found this piece. I assume you’re in your teens, and I’m so sorry. What a scary time. But you know what? You did a really great job conveying that fear to those of us who are older, those who might’ve forgotten what that feeling is like. It’s clear writing is your passion, and based on this, I can’t wait to read more works of yours.


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         There are several minor issues in this piece, little things that are easily fixed. When I say that, I don’t want you to be discouraged…you’re just starting out, you’re gonna make mistakes. And if you wanna know a secret, there is no such thing as a completed nor perfect piece. Even authors who’ve published books can read back through their books and see mistakes and things they’d change based on their evolving experience. Stuff like “its” instead of a needed “it’s”, a double period at the end of a couple of sentences…these are easy fixes, and if you’re serious about molding this piece, I’m happy to help on a deeper level. Because you really are that good at bringing deeper emotions to the surface.


Summary:
 
 
         You’re new, and you have things to learn…don’t let that feel like it’s oppressive, because, in the grand scheme of things, it’s much bigger than that. You’re well on your way with this piece, and you need to keep writing. You’re too good to quit, and the world needs what you did here…it needs storytellers who can convey emotion and a message. Excellent job! And welcome, again! If you ever need anything, just message me!

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen
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41
41
Review of TARA, TARA, TARA  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (4.5)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "A GHA Fundraiser"   by Lilith of House Martell ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         Awwww, what a cute story! I mean, even the end is realistic, especially for a work of fiction, or of imagination, I guess. Hopes? I like that better in this case.


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         You’ve presented a really well-worked story. The only real thing I found was where you wrote “8”, it might flow a half a level better if you write it as “eight”, just to follow the other words. To be fair, that’s a really nit-picky critique, and even if you chose to ignore it, you have a really strong piece. I’m impressed with how you did all of this technical stuff in only two hundred words! That’s insane. Great job!


Summary:
 
 
         Even though this story was written a while back, it’s one of those that doesn’t follow the normal standards of stories, this one hasn’t aged nor been affected by the years. It stands as a strong piece, entertaining but realistic even with the personified animals. You should keep writing, and this piece testifies to that. The world needs your voice and your stories!

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen
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42
42
Review of Robert Frost  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "A GHA Fundraiser"   by Lilith of House Martell ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         One of my favorite things on this planet is having the opportunity to learn, and you satiated that desire with this piece. I had no idea he was nominated for the Nobel in Lit 31 times and won it four times…that’s astounding! See? I learned! Great job with the information!


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         This was so well-written, and you’re becoming so consistent…you’re building trust with your readers, and that’s what I’m feeling right now with this piece. I know because of your works I’ve read, you’re consistent with the your style and the use of the American or English grammar. And what that does is allow the reader to follow along your journey without much thought to storytelling or reality. Basically, I’m saying you seem where you’re supposed to be, and you’re doing it so well!


Summary:
 
 
         I love reading your pieces because it doesn’t feel like work, doesn’t feel like I’m taking in what I’m taking in. That’s a success, and I hope one day I can get that down myself. You are awesome, and you were born to write!!

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen
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43
43
Review of Dear Dad  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "A GHA Fundraiser"   by Lilith of House Martell ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         This is a very somber piece, and I think you did a really good job expressing that hole where someone used to be, and where they still are, really. It’s a simple piece, but you’ve packed a lot of emotion into so few words. Great job with that!


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         I really like the way you used punctuation here, it doesn’t hurt the flow, and it looks good. I don’t have any critiques as far as that. Excellent!


Summary:
 
 
         The subject matter here is deep and painful, and I’m sorry you’re feeling this, dealing with this. As a reader, however, I can feel at least some of what you’re going through, and that counts for a lot in wiriting. You should be writing, you’re too good not to. Please, keep writing no matter what! It’s the best way to stay human!

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen
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44
44
Review of Reruns  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "A GHA Fundraiser"   by Lilith of House Martell ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         Montana in February? That’s a big ole nope…I can barely handle February in Oklahoma…ha HA! I love this piece…I’ve been reviewing all day, and this was a piece I was needing. It may not help much, but it feels like when you’ve been hungry all day, and you come home to hamburger steaks with brown gravy and grilled veggies. The story itself is worth the read. Great job!


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         Yeah, your expertise far exceeds mine…either you have no mistakes, or you’re too good to have them just out in the open. LOL There was nothing that took me from this piece, nothing that rubbed me wrong…very well-presented!


Summary:
 
 
         I’m so glad I found this piece! To have packed such a story into only 680 words means I need to bow to your abilities. I’m sorry I don’t have any suggestions to make it better, but what can I say? It’s a great piece! And it definitely is just one of many reasons why you should keep writing!

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen
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45
45
Review of The Portrait  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (4.5)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "A GHA Fundraiser"   by Lilith of House Martell ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         I love that you wrote this piece. There was one point in my life when I lived in Connecticut, and I worked as a videographer who filmed national dance competitions. I was lucky enough to see a handful of famous flamenco dancers, and they were phenomenal. That’s actually why I chose this piece. And I’m glad I did, because I love what you’ve done here. It’s a good story.


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         I know on a personal level you’re working on learning punctuation and grammar, and that’s the only reason I’m hitting on a couple of points…I’m hoping a couple of points I have will actually help you. And these are little things, the easiest to fix.

“…one of her beautiful dress’, which…”. Here, one dress is dress…more than one are dresses. When you place that apostrophe at the end of the word, it means many dresses own something.

“…twirling and twirling, while she was dancing gracefully, around and around.” Here is an issue of redundancy. In a short story, there isn’t a lot of space nor time to get your point across…especially because you have “twirling” and “around”, when you double those, you get a dizzy reader! Lol But for real, when you cut out redundant words, it gives you an opportunity to fill that space with something stronger. You have your story-telling voice down…just a couple of little tweaks, and this story is pretty perfect.


Summary:
 
 
         Though there are some punctuation issues, you make up for them by placing the native words in at the right places, like guitarra and baile. It gives it a more natural feel, that thick, latin emotion defined by flamenco. I love this piece, and I love watching you grow! You need to keep writing, because you’re only gonna spiral up, I promise. You’re gonna find your answers by doing what you’re doing!

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen
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46
46
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (4.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "A GHA Fundraiser"   by Lilith of House Martell ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         Ooooh, this is a really good subject, one that allows you as a writer to hit on something vulnerable, and I love that in a story. This is a good poem, and it’s easy for the reader to feel the frustration and the angst of a one-way friendship here. You did a good job.


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         As far as poetry, I can’t ever judge when someone has left out punctuation intentionally or if it was an accident. Punctuation doesn’t hurt flow, but I can certainly understand how some writers choose to buck the normals as a metaphor. If this was unintentional, these are easy fixes. And if these were intentional, then know I’ve considered that.


Summary:
 
 
         Regardless of the punctuation, you do a good job with this poem by accurately reflecting what I believe to be the feeling you started with, the story of someone who needs more. It’s a very human reaction, and you did good by describing it. Excellent job!

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen
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47
47
Review of Not Inferior  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (5.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "A GHA Fundraiser"   by Lilith of House Martell ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         This is a powerful piece. I personally believe women have been the most oppressed group throughout history, but I also believe y’all run the world behind the scenes without a doubt. You point that out in this piece, about how important women are (and as individuals, no less), and it hits heavy. Good job!


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         I can’t find any issues at all, and so I bow to your expertise here. You’ve presented a great story, an important point of view, and you did it with correct grammar and punctuation according, at least, to American standards. Fantastic!


Summary:
 
 
         This is one of the best-presented pieces I’ve come across today, so kudos! This subject speaks to me, and your voice is so beautiful. You should keep writing…really…you are a voice of the art, and it needs you and your voice!!

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen
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48
48
Review of Reflections  
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (4.5)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to review according to "A GHA Fundraiser"   by Lilith of House Martell ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         I specifically came to this piece because I am attracted t the darker side of the world when reading, and you did not let me down.In fact, I as a reader am now curious about what happens next, meaning you did a good job telling this story!! And what a great idea! Good job writing from a man’s POV.


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         There are a few punctuation mishaps, but they’re all so easy to fix. In the fourth paragraph, most of the way down, there should be a period between the words “bathroom” and “My”. But these are so little, and they didn’t take me from your story at all besides noticing them. Most of those accidents happen because we’re typing and trying to keep up with what the muse is spitting out, so these are no big deal to me. You prove in the rest of the piece you know how to use punctuation, and that you know what you’re doing. Great job!!


Summary:
 
 
         So, I officially love your story, and I can’t wait to jump into your port and read more. After the other reviewers do their reviews of your port, I’ll come back and do a couple more, and that makes me excited. This piece shows that you know what you’re doing, that you’re knowledgeable and a good writer. Please don’t stop writing, cause I really enjoyed this…I’m certain others will, too!!

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen
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49
49
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to raid your port according to "A GHA Fundraiser"   by Lilith of House Martell ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         I liked this piece when I first read it, but I missed the disclaimer of how it was based on “Liar”, so I didn’t fully understand…that’s my fault as a reader. Then I reread it, and I realized what a good job you did here. The story is good…the only thing I would say is that I want to know more about the characters, but when you only have so many words to do write your story in, a lot of details have to be cut, and I get that. Look at it as a good thing…you wrote a good story, and I want to know more.


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         Very good job! There may be some words you could exchange for a stronger sentiment, but that’s a little nit-picky on my part, which means you have presented this story well. Your punctuation is pretty spot-on. Excellent!


Summary:
 
 
         I definitely think you could explore this piece with a little more detail, but I only say that because you’ve presented this strong work, and it wouldn’t take much to go a little further into it, to tighten up the more loose ideas. This was fun to read, and you did a good job recreating the feeling of the song with that of your piece. You should keep writing, because you’re good, and the world needs that. We need your voice. Great job!

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen
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50
50
Review by Rhymer Reisen
Rated: E | (4.5)
 Hi!! I’m Rhymer, and I’m here to raid your port according to "A GHA Fundraiser"   by Lilith of House Martell ! Surprise!!
 
 Writing Aspects:
 
 
         Being from the eastern side of Oklahoma, I was really excited to find this piece. And, after having sister tornadoes too near our house just a few months ago, I can attest you’ve captured a good storm with this piece. And good job displaying Oklahoma! Accurately portraying my (our) state automatically gets you higher points.


Technical Aspects:
 
 
         The only thing I could find was the word “lightening” should be “lightning”, but to be fair, this is a small mistake…and my iPad changes words without me knowing sometimes, and I can revise a thousand times and never catch it. Great job! I also like how you use punctuation your way here.


Summary:
 
 
         After a few months, you should come back to this piece and review for yourself. It’s so close to being near-perfect. And what I mean by that is when you come back in a few months, you’ll see things here and there, ways to make this piece even stronger. As it stands, you’ve put a lot of thought and effort into this piece, and it shows! Excellent job here!

 
 
With 😊, ❤️, and 🖋,
           

Rhymer
 Reisen
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