Like a warm scented bath in February ,or cool sheets in an AC'd room in July, this felt good. The visuals were of flowing and bending to the whims of passion. I was adrift on a sea of body waves and lulled into a dream state by the comforting sounds of nearness. Very nice.
Hands are my weakness. They truly are the extension of the soul aren't they? I love the way you describe in detail the hands, veins and all. I was asked what I loved about a lover of mine. I said ,"his hands" They fascinated me, in how they moved and moved me and the memory of them still does. This poem gave me a lump in my throat. I applaud you with both hands loudly!
Parting is such sweet sorrow...then the bills are significantly reduced. Why does it hurt so much when we've done such a good job?
"the dark side of lunar terror... between nine and nineteen. These darling daughters...shrew-like emotional lightning rods of high maintenance terrorists overnight,"- I know all too well. We bought lots of Excedrin. This was brilliant.
Kimarie Manhart-Freeman
I don't cotton much to intruders myself. Got myself a mat that says, "Go AWAY!"
Can I encourage you to pen more M.I.B. stuff? I like it. I could see Mr. Crenshaw with a few wisps of hair, overalls, and a stubbly face. Love the wife whacking him with a stick for touching her huckleberry pie. I would too, pies are labor intensive! I got a picture of the aliens blown to bits- poor bums.Very funny.
How did you do this? You have seen into the inner core of every person who has lost a love and perfectly articulated the experience! The lines I adore the most:
"I want to open my eyes and catch you in sacred gaze
But I do not dare!
For every second that you stay
Is home for this my broken soul"
How positively wonderful! I briefly skimmed the titles in your port and feel like a child on Christmas morning with piles of gifts to open. I will be up to my ears in word presents thanks to you.
Disecting a tramatic event into a well organized piece is not easy. You write from your heart and this makes the reader feel like they are there with you. "My feet never slowed as my mind calculated how quickly an ambulance could reach us." - It's amazing how we can multi task even under stress. The visuals provided were distressing and disturbing.I know all too well the smell of alcohol and vomit having grown up with an alcoholic grandfather and alcoholic uncles. It is clear how you struggled with loving your Dad but having issues with him. I lost my Dad in 1991 when I was 24. I felt like I died with him but he went on to heaven and I was in hell. Grief in itself is a long process. We bury parts of ourselves that can't function to be resurrected later when we've healed them. "Time heals all wounds"- a crock of sh--. Time heals nothing, it is our actions and the actions of our support system that heal us. Writing is one of these actions. Keep writing.
This was very moving.
my favorite line- "Remember me in mercy,
as I'm under this mountain;"
You said in your BIO:
"I am a recovering IDIOT!, with several serious set backs, and I might be convinced to quit my job to write for a living, and suffer yet another." - From a fellow idiot: "Yes! Yes! Yes! Join me and many more like us and do the brave thing- WRITE!
"Arm thyself with mighty pen,
more noble than any sword,
enter all your thoughts therein,
the writ and soul in one accord."
1247933
Insightful and well written. God reveals Himself as we trust Him. It seems cruel sometimes but He knows what He is doing. Great imagery with "tears soaking bedsheets" and "barely audible voices". Men are often forgotten when a pregnant mother is involved and they are left to fend for themselves and deal with their feelings alone. Your story will be greatly appreciated by any man facing the same situation. Great ending with the man accepting God's will. The reader is left wondering the fate of the child and mother. This works because then those who have gained or lost a child can feel this on a personal level.
As I read this I am reminded of the proverb of the virtuous woman.
My favorite line, "Behind your eyes a great unknown
until we see the woman grown"
For by their fruits you shall know them, and it is very true as you have stressed here. Excellent imagery also. I see a young lady in front of a mirror weighing choices that are not always easy. "Dare To Be" is an excellent title and motto for both genders. Well done!
I loved this for many reasons. The aching minute detail and care you put into this were inspiring and heartbreaking at the same time. Arthurs struggle with the decision to place her in a nursing home was touching and desperate. You described how he seemed to age with the weeping he did for his wife. Love makes us do strange things and Arthur was no exception: "The extent of his cooking was enough to keep them going, but being a farmer that part was always left up to her. He tried new things, and was proud of his accomplishments. He enjoyed watching her eat what he had prepared." A Simple farmer who never cooked or had to now takes on the kitchen out of necessity and love. Too many favorite parts in this piece! Simply wonderful!
I don't know why I liked this one, I just did. It left me with a nice warm feeling.It had a funky and youthful vibe but transcended into a mother-child zen moment of sheer delight! Nice job!
Dear Nolan:
Great Essay on "Mall-Wart". Having been an assistant manager who made a lousy $8.75 an hour in 1997, I vowed never to work for a non-union job ever again. "It’s a chilling fact to think that Wal-Mart can now control the US Government because of its sheer size." - I agree but once any company becomes a monopoly there is no fear of condemnation, look at the Utility companies and oil companies. From the Wal-Mart subsidized slums in China or "Pol-Pottersville" as I call it, to the American workers being degraded by low wages, to the substandard merchandise it is sickening. Let's not forget that Wal-Mart is a strong supporter of the mandatory one-child per couple policy. They are donating millions of bucks into the Forced Abortion program mandated byy the Chinese government. It makes sense to them since they won't have uninsured kids on their conscience I guess. Bottom Line? Shop anywhere but Wal-Mart and buy American. I wrote about Wal-Marts latest debaucle called "WalMart Does It Again".
Excellent imagery, the drinks flowing like a river, loud music, and the cliche thinking that fresh air will make you sober.
Structure is good, rhyming is good, final line is well constructed.
People don't realize that each drink they put in their mouth is like putting bullets in a gun, though you're aiming it at yourself it hits another target.I think that by now enough people know that drinking and driving is bad and illegal.My proposal?:
1st time DWI traffic violation, no one injured- loss of license for 2 years
2nd time w/ no injuries: loss of license for 5 years, car impounded
3rd time- loss of driving privileges for EVER
Vehicular manslaughter while under the influence- LIFE in prison, NO parole
Until we change the laws, this will keep happening.
Very sweet with great imagery. I see a young girl who is very disillusioned and yet still in love with the source of that hurt. Very good. Tell your sister to write more. Encourage her to write always, it is an invaluable gift.
Be blessed,
Kimarie
Why I liked this? The "stellar" use of words! I love astronomy. I wrote pieces about it as well. One of mine is "The Scarlet Barnard's Loop". There is such quiet and infinite beauty that few have seen. I also liked the imagery of a rain-washed Las Vegas. Great piece.
Kimarie
This is fantastic! "the piano imitates the sound of raindrops"
The image i personally got from this was cleansing. Lots of water, throwing out the dirty laundry. Now she can heal. Very smart write.
Kimarie
This was a gem. Hookers sell their skin, not their mind and hearts. I agree, people are to quick to judge. Most are victims of abuse themselves and need compassion, not judgement. What would Jesus do? Pick her out of the dirt, hug her, and give her a way out. I think the imagery of her innocent children unattended in their modest beds is heartbreaking. And yet, they are the lighthouse that guides her steps home every dusk.The picture of her coming home to them and putting on a carefree face is bittersweet and beautiful. My favorite line:
"And with each offer shouted, she feels the taunting darts." I really liked this.
Very strong piece. I like that you asserted yourself and gained experience. People who hurt us deeply are not true friends. I was a good friend to someone who hurt me too. I got her a new stove when hers broke. I took her to lunch often. I listened to all her problems. My reward? She stole my social security number and opened a credit card in my name. She bought her daughter lots of school clothes and junk for herself. I think we've all been there. Keep writing.
Blessings,
Kimarie
15 minutes? Not bad! Very romantic and very sweet.
My favorite parts?: "As the velvet curtain lifted
off my clouded memories,"
"Gentle passed the night,
Love began flowing," this was very good considering the word requirements.
Be Blessed,
Kimarie
When my baby brother was about 3, he washed his hair in the toilet bowl.He came into the living room dripping wet and was so proud he washed his own hair. I put him into the shower and washed him many, many times. I prayed he wouldn't get pink eye or worse.
He would insist on wearing his towel around his chest to cover his "Boobs". My dad worked long hours but started spending extra time with his son since there was no one but us girls around. Ahh, good times, good times. I still tease him about his stunts today.
He slammed his pecker in the toy box (they had no safety closures then) and thankfully suffered no lasting effects.
When my son was four a lightening bug somehow managed to crawl into his pecker enough to get stuck. He was frantic and frantically squeezed his pecker until the thing popped out.We still joke about his "glo-worm". I still don't know how something like that could happen.
When my eldest son was 3 , he streaked through the dining room where the church missionary dinner was being held. He left his pants in the mens room and came running to tell me he wiped all by himself.
Very interesting story.I have thought about such a scenario.Nice techno-jargon.Good story all in all. It has been said by researchers that since so many abortions are being routinely performed, we have an aging population that isn't reproducing as rapidly.The myth of over-population is more like a lie worthy of Joseph Goebbels. Did you know you could take all the people from the entire world and put them into the USA . It would be like NYC all over but it could work if we had to do it. There are thousands of miles of unpopulated acreage in America is the least populated country in the world.The environmentalists are just plain idiots and we should never listen to them.
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