Very strong piece. I like that you asserted yourself and gained experience. People who hurt us deeply are not true friends. I was a good friend to someone who hurt me too. I got her a new stove when hers broke. I took her to lunch often. I listened to all her problems. My reward? She stole my social security number and opened a credit card in my name. She bought her daughter lots of school clothes and junk for herself. I think we've all been there. Keep writing.
Blessings,
Kimarie
15 minutes? Not bad! Very romantic and very sweet.
My favorite parts?: "As the velvet curtain lifted
off my clouded memories,"
"Gentle passed the night,
Love began flowing," this was very good considering the word requirements.
Be Blessed,
Kimarie
When my baby brother was about 3, he washed his hair in the toilet bowl.He came into the living room dripping wet and was so proud he washed his own hair. I put him into the shower and washed him many, many times. I prayed he wouldn't get pink eye or worse.
He would insist on wearing his towel around his chest to cover his "Boobs". My dad worked long hours but started spending extra time with his son since there was no one but us girls around. Ahh, good times, good times. I still tease him about his stunts today.
He slammed his pecker in the toy box (they had no safety closures then) and thankfully suffered no lasting effects.
When my son was four a lightening bug somehow managed to crawl into his pecker enough to get stuck. He was frantic and frantically squeezed his pecker until the thing popped out.We still joke about his "glo-worm". I still don't know how something like that could happen.
When my eldest son was 3 , he streaked through the dining room where the church missionary dinner was being held. He left his pants in the mens room and came running to tell me he wiped all by himself.
Very interesting story.I have thought about such a scenario.Nice techno-jargon.Good story all in all. It has been said by researchers that since so many abortions are being routinely performed, we have an aging population that isn't reproducing as rapidly.The myth of over-population is more like a lie worthy of Joseph Goebbels. Did you know you could take all the people from the entire world and put them into the USA . It would be like NYC all over but it could work if we had to do it. There are thousands of miles of unpopulated acreage in America is the least populated country in the world.The environmentalists are just plain idiots and we should never listen to them.
The joy and heartache of parenthood is a rollercoaster only for the bravest of hearts. We die thousands of deaths with each close call or worry. I was compelled to read this even though it was so sad. What I liked about this piece: It showed a man's perspective of the deep love he had for his daughter. Good visuals and point of perspective.
Please read my piece #1597648 . It will clearly decscribe what will happen to us if the TOTUS is allowed to "change" healthcare and healthcare freedom of choice.
Blessings,
Kimarie
Well, now that I'm done crying...This was magnificent. I admire that it provoked thought and emotion. It was well put together. This was the saddest thing I've read in a while. Take it easy.
Kimarie
Goat meet is so succulent
it's one of my favorite snacks
The best ones are truculent
with the fat grilled on BBQ racks
You don't need to be an ogre
or a nasty little troll to partake
of delicious goat until you bloat
Don't overdo it for heavens sake
I've heard about a man who ate
so very much tender goat meat
that he turned into a goat himself
and butchers chased him down the street
I adored this free-form poem. I loved the asian-fantasy quality. The shakuhachi playing animals were delightful.The only flaw I noticed was "appearence" should be spelled "appearance". Great Job and thanks for such a zen-riffic read!
Warmly,
Kimarie
That was so darn silly, just what I needed. Thanks. You know I always was fascinated by comedic irony-"The dish rsn away with the spoon. Perhaps the knife and fork were dancing the TONGUE-O (Tango :) )
This was not just gardening, it depicted a mother's love and wisdom. It reminds me of my mother and her garden.
Rose-lipped Maidens,Long They Last,
Kimarie
Perfection. Aching,bittersweet perfection.
definative moment:“But, Mommy, walking on eggshells is not for you and me.”
Excellent imagery,beautiful story. You brought tears to my eyes.You have quite a gift and this poem told of the dark heartache abuse brings.
Warm Regards,
Kimarie
Dear Starr R,
My Babcha told all the kids the devil would take our feet to replace his goat hooves if we didn't keep our legs tucked in tight. I think it's a clever but mean way of keeping your children &grandchildren from catching cold.Or maybe.....Nah, never mind. Great poem, adorably spooky.
Don't Let The Bed Bugs Bite,
Kimarie
Not settling for less than you want is admirable and so is your lovely story.Someday your prince will arrive- you just need to remember that you are the princess!
Be Blessed,
Kimarie
This was superb comedy!
The imaginary book list was great! I loved this one:6 ways to sneak bookstore from a book store" You are hysterical! I will be visiting your port.
Be blessed,
Kimarie
You have a sensory provoking piece here to be sure.
best line: "Undoubtedly, it's a feeling slightly akin to drowning in familiar waters"
I'm not sure the form you used but it fits the idea of the piece . People we trust hurt us the most don't they?Kudos for using the word"inexorable" as I don't see it too often.Great Read, upsetting as it stirred anall-too familiar
kettle of rotten fish, but a great read !
Be blessed,
Kimarie
Anything that has to do with New Orleans I love! Great storylineand the pace of the dialogue was realistic amd comfortable to read. I think this piece is going somewhere!
You made organized points that proked thought. The structure of the piece was very good and reader-friendly. I happen to agree that pork is a unhealthy and hard to digest meat.Your identifcation and categorization of the species and genus was impressive as well. Excellent work.
This was excellent.
favorite lines:
" Uncle Jim shook my hand, as if I were a man, when I was only ten years old"
"Oh, we were a happier and better family when Uncle Jim came. "
"Uncle Jim showed me how to do the trick with the quarter, and the magic died."
Some people just have a magic light in them that draws us to them like moths.
They leave a loving and healing imprint on us that never fades. You were lucky.
Thank you for this very touching read.
Be Blessed,
Kimarie
This poem was in fact just divine,
Fudge infused was every line.
Bon-bons rich from what I gather,
can make the mouth drool and lather.
From nougat whipped to rice crunch,
I could eat the entire cocoaed bunch.
Thinking of something dark and truffled,
Gets this chocoholic's feathers ruffled.
Thank you for this poetic treat,
I'll think of it when I enjoy and eat,
Luscious pieces dark or mild,
Satisfying the fudgey inner child
1- noodle induced pancreatitis killing your dumpster pet.
2- videos of your drunken behavior
3- meth lab? nuff said. lol.
4-thw jim carry-esque scene of your humiliation involving chants of "loser,loser" while delivering noodles to your ex.
(by the way, your ex is a piece of shit if she encouraged that behaviour. You are still their dad and that was totally disrespestful.
5-Your overall hilarious results of actions led by alcohol and anxiety. Write ON!
PS- are the noodles good at Kim's Noodle House?
Regards,
Kimarie
As this love-filled tribute progresses, I hear the hymn, "Come home,Come home it's suppertime, the shadows lengthen fast, Come home, Come home it's suppertime, we're going home at last." What a wonderful gift he was to you. I'm sure now that you are a seasoned man you can understand and appreciate him even more.Mr. Joseph "Willis" Day sounds like one heck of a fella. Thanks for letting me get to know him a little.
Blessings,
Kimarie
Remarkable. I cried at the bittersweet beauty of this piece and I'm a tough customer.Although They are still in there somewhere and sometimes we get to see them.
Kimarie
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/songofsolomon/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/3
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.23 seconds at 2:04pm on May 04, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
