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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sum1swriting
Review Requests: ON
2,900 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual for the most part. I will point out errors I see and offer suggested corrections. I like to focus on the content and formatting of the item. I love providing helpful comments and feedback that may improve the item if acted on.
I'm good at...
I like to provide suggestions to the author on things I see that may need a second look. I'm not afraid to do a little research to verify a poem's format, or the contents of a story (if requested).
Favorite Genres
Mystery, Horror, Sci-Fi, Comedy, and Suspense
Least Favorite Genres
Honestly, I will read anything if asked. I just prefer those listed above.
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, novellas, books (though a review of that may take days/weeks due to my schedule), Poetry of any format.
Least Favorite Item Types
I find non-structured poetry difficult to review, unless there is a short disclaimer about this non-structure that would help in understanding the reason it's in that particular format.
I will not review...
I'm not interested in Vore, In and Out's, Growing/Shrinking, or other items that are similar to one of these.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by Same Ol' Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hey Hatsuda,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 11th WDC Anniversary!

         I've read several of your stories over the years, and have yet to be disappointed. You have a way of spinning a yarn, a way of telling a story, all the while showing us some really nice sights in our minds-eye. You remind me of my friend Amay in that regard. Your writing seems to have been written effortlessly, as if you're sitting around a campfire relating your story. That's not criticism, that's a compliment.

         I never knew any of my grandparents well, I last saw my mother's parents in 1960 or so, maybe even 1959. I never met my father's side of the family. I envy you your memories and photo's of them. As usual, very well written, thank you for sharing!


Sum1

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2
2
Review by Same Ol' Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Hey Jeff,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 18th WDC Anniversary!

         Okay Jeff, your little twist at the end caught me by surprise. I was sort of expecting something sinister from Lara, something that would really make your main character have second thoughts about her. I like your twist better than my fuzzy idea though.

         You did very well with the dialog in this, it carried the story along smoothly at a pace that wasn't hard to follow. Your main character sounds like a real Klutz. I know we can all be that way at times, but he takes the cake! (Just for the record, I've never been that smooth around women, then again, I'm definitely not as clumsy as he is either.)

         The last line is a bit sappy, but hey, you ended it well overall. A nice story that is also a good read. Thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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3
3
Review by Same Ol' Sum1
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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Hey Elisa,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 19th WDC Anniversary!

         Wow! What a great story! I really enjoy love stories, and this one definitely didn't disappoint. It's far from perfect, but I'm not going to nit-pick it. But look through this, there are several places where you use 'you', instead of 'your'. Small things.

         What I found different in this, is their spouses knowing they had feelings for each other, and accepting it instead of being jealous. That doesn't happen often in this world, and maybe it needs to. I've long felt that you can love more than one person. But you need to be devoted to just one person. Does that make sense?

         The other thing (oh there was far more than one, but I will mention only one here), is why Christine didn't give Mitch any presents in return. I know this is all about him giving her gifts, but I would think she'd feel almost obligated to give at least one in return. Just wondering is all. Excellent story, thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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4
4
Review of Stranded  
Review by Same Ol' Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hey Leger,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 17th WDC Anniversary!

         For some reason, the cannibal idea came to my mind the minute you mentioned the natives in this story. (I think it was the painted faces that told me about the natives). Very well written though, the flow was quick and purposeful making this a pleasurable read.

         I did feel the ending, as well as the whole story, was a bit quick. Then again, you were under a word count for the contest. Still, I really enjoyed this, thank you for sharing!


Sum1

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5
5
Review by Same Ol' Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hey Natasha,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 11th WDC Anniversary!

         This is very good, a somewhat sad read, but very good nonetheless. We live in the moment, no one can tell what the future holds. What I've learned in life in my 66 years, is to love as much as you can. Accept it for what it is, cherish the moment, and try to keep it at all times. It takes work, it takes dedication, it takes commitment. Nothing in life is free, even love. Yes, you will have your doubts, you always will. But love them all you can, and see if somehow you can keep them with you. (Sorry, didn't meant to lecture here.)



Sum1


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6
6
Review of I fall...  
Review by Same Ol' Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hey Zelda,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 14th WDC Anniversary!

         I love playing with words to write something meaningful, and love a good shape poem even more. This one is very good, a single teardrop, falling to release us so we can stand again. What a thought! Your words are very apt for this poem, I think one of my favorite lines is this one. When you free me from my confines you release your burdens. Excellent idea with this poem, I love it! Thank you for sharing.




Sum1

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7
7
Review of Night and Day  
Review by Same Ol' Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Hey Mara,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 14th WDC Anniversary!

         I will keep this short because it's a little difficult to concentrate right now, a little difficult to type. You know why.

         What can I say? I saw a review of this from Nixie and knew I had to read it. Man am I glad I did! It's not often I find something to read that I really hate finishing, because finishing it means I don't have it with me anymore. Few stories move me as much as this one did. And all I can do, is Thank You for sharing/writing it! I feel lucky to have read it. Thank you again. And Happy Anniversary!



Sum1

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8
8
Review of La Belle  
Review by Same Ol' Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hey Blue Moon,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 7th WDC Anniversary!

         This is pretty good, but it could be a bit better. Why do I say that? Well, there's a lot of telling here in what I would call a 'torch poem'. Your love for this person is evident, but you're telling us about it, not showing. How could you show it? First, why were they crying? Why were some days more black than blue? There's just so much more you could tell us in this poem. Each line could be a little longer in doing this, don't be afraid to do so to show us more about this person you seem to love greatly. I did see at least one thing you should change in this though.


1. More black then blue should be More black than blue.



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9
9
Review of Season Tickets  
Review by Same Ol' Sum1
Rated: E | (5.0)
Awesome activity!! I just have to pay it forward to RAOK...
10
10
Review by Same Ol' Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Hey Stormy,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 20th WDC Anniversary! Wow! Congratulations!

         I looked at a couple of your stories this morning, you seem to dwell on ones that are a bit sad, a bit different. There's nothing wrong with that of course, but it doesn't seem to be the you that I've 'met' in your newsletters. Of course, this one here was written early on in your career here on WDC, so maybe times have changed, and along with that, your feelings and thoughts.

         I found this one to be a bit depressing, but well written. I can't imagine living a life like this, so I have a hard time relating to your character. However, I do feel for her, and hope things worked out in the end. You wrote this, only you know the final ending to this story.

         I hope you are doing well amid this global pandemic, and are as happy as can be. I will see if I can find other stories of your to read that are not as dark. A very good story, just a bit dark is all.... Thank you for sharing.



Sum1

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11
11
Review of Ancient My Enemy  
Review by Same Ol' Sum1
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hey Cynaemon,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 17th WDC Anniversary!

         While my preference leans more towards rhyming poetry, I find myself always drawn to a well told story. When it's told in a poem, I love it even more, as I did this. The poem reminds me of an old book by Marion Zimmer Bradley, "Hunters Of The Red Moon". The two aren't near alike one bit, but still, I was reminded, and that's a good thing.

         My only suggestion for this, would be to center it on the page. There's just something about page centered poetry that really strikes me. Nothing wrong with it as it is, centering it is a personal preference, nothing more. Very nice poem, thank you for sharing!


Sum1

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12
12
Review by Same Ol' Sum1
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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Hey LeJenD',
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 15th WDC Anniversary!

         Well, as one who has never indulged in drug use of any sort, I have a hard time relating to this. However, I can relate well to the rhythm and rhyme of this, and loved it. The story included also made this an enjoyable read. I liked the layout of it with the second line of each couplet indented well. And you even had me smiling at the end of this little tale, so that's something else too! An enjoyable read, thank you for sharing!


Sum1

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13
13
Review by Same Ol' Sum1
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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Hey Richard,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 1st WDC Anniversary!

         As a Submarine Veteran, I understand the importance of Memorial Day more than most. Your tribute is beautiful, I hope you have managed to live a full life despite your losses.

         You list your relatives and a family friend who have served, and no matter what, they served honorably. Yes, the military makes mistakes in who they send where, and I hate to say it, but it's a matter of need. Ray and George may have completed training at different times, and there was a need for each in those positions. Yes, it could have been much better. I don't understand this anymore than you, nor was I ever put in any danger the way these two were. I know little of how they send people to their duty stations, but I imagine there was some amount of logic to their madness. Beautifully done, thank you for sharing. (This does have a couple of minor typos I chose to ignore. I think if you read through it carefully, you'll see them).



Sum1

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14
14
Review by Same Ol' Sum1
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hey Chanon,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 15th WDC Anniversary!

         I really enjoyed this short story! All dialog, but man, it flows well! Best of all, was the twist at the end. You had me, I was in 100%, and you caught me with that twist, making the reading of it even more pleasurable.

         I know how hard it can be to write a story with just dialog. It has to be almost perfect to carry the story, and you did that well here. The small usage of slang, like "Shudup" was excellent (something I can't do it seems), but made everything that much more real. As I said, a pleasure to read, thank you for sharing!


Sum1

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15
15
Review by Same Ol' Sum1
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hey Shaara,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 18th WDC Anniversary!

         Been there, done that. Not what you did, I was on the receiving end as a child. Our church had a listing of gifts needed for a family who didn't have much. I begged my parents for a dime, a quarter, whatever they had extra, I wanted to give to that poor family. This was 1965 or so, a quarter went a ways back then. The Sunday before Christmas, the church displayed the gifts that were purchased for this family, I have to admit to being jealous that a little boy was getting this keen shooting gallery game. Still, I was happy I was able to contribute in some small way. Imagine my surprise on Christmas to see that very same shooting gallery under the tree with my name on it! I never knew we were considered poor....

         This is well written, it flows nicely, but most of all, I love the story. I can tell you and your daughter really enjoyed what you did for that family. And never fear, while they may not have known your names, they never forgot your act of kindness. Trust me, I've been there, I know. It does bring back memories, ones I will never forget. Thank you for sharing! I loved it....



Sum1

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16
16
Review of Coffee Shop  
Review by Same Ol' Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hey Turtle,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 10th WDC Anniversary!

         You have a great start to a nice story here. Why only a start? Simple. Because I want to know more! If you chose to expand on this, make it longer, I still wouldn't want to know what the answer is she's trying to find. But there's so much more you could relate here, describe to us, take us to.

         One of the things that strikes me, is where she went. There had to be things she experienced that's not mentioned here. Does she see the other world, this other universe only when she drinks coffee and such? Or can she get there in other ways? So many questions that only you can answer...

         As I have already said, very nice story, I love it! I just want to read more... Thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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17
17
Review by Same Ol' Sum1
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hey L. V.
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 12th WDC Anniversary!

         I have to say, this is pretty cool. I too love coffee, and can really relate to this. Your rhyme scheme is spot on, it matches the scheme you describe below the poem. The rhythm is something else though.

         Here's the syllable count for each verse. You can see that the 10 syllable line stands out, and when you read it aloud, it REALLY stands out, throwing the reader off the pace of it. 7/7/7/8/10/8 8/7/8/8/8/10

         Suggestions? Edit the long lines, see if you can get them down to about 8 syllables. Sadly, I have no suggestions on possible edits. Very nice poem, thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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18
18
Review of Que sera sera  
Review by Same Ol' Sum1
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hey Rich,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 12th WDC Anniversary!

         Growing up, I was never a dog person. We had cats. Now my other half is a dog person. We have three. I can really relate to this. The love you see in their eyes, that wagging tail, their playfulness, even in old age. It has a way of getting under your skin, showing you what true love really is.

         I really enjoyed this, even if it was written in a style I'm not familiar with. You named him 'Him', described him very little other than to tell us he's a sheepdog. There was a lot of telling in this story, yet I really enjoyed it. Dogs (and cats) seem to adopt us, not the other way around. Yes, we buy them, or are given them, but they have to accept us, or it doesn't work. So I think they adopt us, put up with us despite all our failings. *Smile* A good story that makes you smile. Thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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19
19
Review by Same Ol' Sum1
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hey tHiNg,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 19th (WOW!) WDC Anniversary!

         I really enjoy reading most anything you write. This one is very cute, and it seems we have something in common. While I don't recall being sent to the 'Thinking Chair', I was (am) known for 'Putting-My-Foot-In-My-Mouth. If I'm not doing that, I seem to do something that makes people wonder where my mind is.

         I could see you sitting in that chair, except you weren't taking your 'punishment' easily. In my mind, I saw a frown, and your mind churning, small gears above your head as you planned your revenge. Whether or not you ever took your revenge is not mentioned here, but I could see the gears turning.

         The one difference between us though, is that my siblings never told stories quite like that about me. Well done here, thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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20
20
Review of The Music Box  
Review by Same Ol' Sum1
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hey Duhh,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 2nd WDC Anniversary!

         This is a very good story that leaves you with a warm feeling. It flows fast, but that's fine. I had a feeling about where his music box really came from, but you hid it well if you ask me. The only comment I'd have, is that he would probably recognize an 11 y/o handwriting as not being his wife's. But it's fine really, maybe he was so excited by the music box that he never noticed. Nice story, thank you for sharing!


Sum1

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21
21
Review of Hidden  
Review by Same Ol' Sum1
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hey Shadowcaster,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 16th WDC Anniversary!

         I really enjoyed this poem, it was interesting and somewhat deep. You might not think so, but you say a lot while saying very little. For me though, and this is only my humble opinion, it's too short. I'd love to see a couple more verses at least.

         I do have a couple of suggestions, and they are only that, suggestions. Not criticism. First, I'd center the poem on the page using the {Center} command. The other thing is, include the title 'Hidden' in the poem itself, and make it bold. I know it's on the title above, but it should be in the poem itself too. Well done though, thank you for sharing!



Sum1

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22
22
Review by Same Ol' Sum1
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hey Maria,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 13th WDC Anniversary!

         In reading this a second time, I don't think you judged her one bit. I think she looked at you and saw someone who was (is) somewhat affluent. She figured you had never experienced the hardships in life she was, so judged you on your appearance.

         I wonder if her opinion would have changed if you had offered a helping hand to get her home. One never knows, do they?

         Nicely written, nicely portrayed. Thank you for sharing.



Sum1

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23
23
Review of The End  
Review by Same Ol' Sum1
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hey Horror Scribe,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 16th WDC Anniversary!

         I've never written much Flash Fiction, and I'm not sure I can. At least not often. You have done well with this, but I really think it should be quite a bit longer. What I'm saying is this. A flash fiction piece should tell a complete story, and I realize this does. But it leaves so many questions in a reader's mind. In my humble opinion (and I know what that's worth), you should edit this. IF you choose to do that, consider the following.

1. Name your main character! You named his cohort/friend Tom, so why not him?

2. What did he do or create as a result of his incantation? This is big, very big. At that point, you had the chance to reflect on what he had done. Maybe you're like me, and when you wrote this, you had no idea (other than the tenuous one that prompted this story) what he had really done. You had a bit of time no to reflect on it, maybe you can expand it. After the incantation, what did he not do that could have stopped it? Or was it already too late then? I'd love to know more about this. I think of the possibilities with this short flash fiction, and find it mind boggling! There's no need to rename it, unless you write it long enough to have chapters, then you can name the last chapter 'The End'. *Smile*


         Thank you for sharing this, you've left me with so many questions. On purpose too! *Laugh* Well done!



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24
24
Review of Pain Pain go Away  
Review by Same Ol' Sum1
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hey Kazi,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 15th WDC Anniversary!

         I find it a little humorous that I chose to read this today. I have a mildly ruptured L5 Vertebrae, and once in a while it acts up on me. Last night I bent over and felt a twinge. I tried to adjust my stance, but it was too late. Once again, I'm saddled with chronic back pain. It's been about 10 years since it last acted up, and I'd almost forgotten what a chronic pain felt like. It's a not so pleasant reminder.

         I love your suggestions on how to deal with pain. The water one sticks out to me. I gave up sodas years ago, and other than a little alcohol off and on. Yeah, I know, alcohol is not that good for you, which is why I only drink it in great moderation. I've not over-indulged in alcohol in over 30 years now, and was never a heavy drinker. All of your suggestions are good, but I can't drink milk. I'm not lactose intolerant, but it does make me a little congested.

         Other than water, I think the one that really stands out for me, is Love. There's no babies around, so I'm out of luck there. But we have three dogs that are great, and I have someone who will care for me no matter how badly I feel. I'm very blessed there. I love fruit too, and am eating all I can of that, especially grapes and peaches (at the moment). I walk when I can, but right now, it's tough just to mosey around the house. Since it just started last night, I'll give it a few days, and see if I can do more then.

         Thank you for this! I think it's excellent advice!



Sum1

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25
25
Review by Same Ol' Sum1
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


Hey Rhyssa,
         I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 19th (WOW!) WDC Anniversary!

         This story is a bit 'out there', and left me wondering. Don't get me wrong, it's well written, the flow is rapid but well structured, but there seems to be a lot of gaps that the reader has to fill in to complete this. Let me explain.

         The beginning is really good. You had me wondering who your unnamed main character really was. The bit about her golden eyes struck me, making me read on. (I had no intention of leaving no matter what anyway. It just gave me a good sense of anticipation of what was to come). But there are details missing in the middle part where you built the plot.

         One minute she's a beggar with bright gold eyes, the next she's the chosen vessel of an Unknown God? Just her moving from one moment of existence to the next is big enough, but an Unknown God? If he's an Unknown God, why is there a temple for him, why do priests do his bidding, and so many more questions. I think I know what you were doing with this, but it just seemed off to me.

         The next thing the reader knows, is the story is winding down, and she will be sacrificed. Why? The sacrificing part needs a little explanation in my humble opinion. Like I said, an excellent story, but it needs a little editing to make it stronger.



Sum1

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