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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/summerlyn
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717 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of stars  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very pretty view which makes you wonder, are we alone? I think not.
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2
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ The title...I found myself tripping over the title and catching myself. I thought at first, my eyes were deceiving me, for I thought I read, Stop...Stop...the Church Mouse. In catching it, I thought...this title is intriguing and that in itself coaxed me into wanting to read this. A Good Title!

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ A good start in the first chapter, with good description giving the reader a visual. I particularly like:
There is a plant way up there called fireweed, that has a flower that is long, and green when it first grows, but as the weather gets warmer, its petals start turning red, from the bottom up. When it’s the middle of summer the whole flower is red. It can turn large part of the countryside red, so it almost looks like fire. Fireweed really goes into overdrive, after a forest fire, and is the first plant to come back after a fire. As winter approaches, the flower withers from the bottom up. Usually by the time of the first snowfall, the red is all gone. That’s one way the animals and people can tell what time of year it is.

Beautifully done, in my opinion.

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*
In my opinion, the first chapter flows well with a few errors that the author overlooked with re: spelling that can be easily corrected.
For example:
Chapter 1 sets the scene, inroduces the area, andthe little girl, Willy, and her parents.

I would recommend the author change the word <introduces> and insert the 't'.

Spacing between the commas in certain sentences. An obvious oversight in typing. Otherwise, a brilliant job so far.

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ This reader looks forward to reading more of this children's novel from this author. It promises to be delightful and is easy to follow for both young and old.
Thank you for allowing me to view and review this piece you have created.


3
3
Rated: E | (5.0)
Beautiful!!! In such short words, you have captured what so many in this world ponder and can never find the answer. Yes...you are still evolving! Just like a flower whose stages bring it to it's final moments to be born again...it's beauty is witnessed in these stages...through growth. May you always keep the wonderment of life there within you. Thank you for sharing what you have. *Heart*
4
4
Review of Maddie Portrait  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A beautiful portrait shared...wowww! what a cutie!!! Thank you for sharing this beautiful spirit! SummerLyn
5
5
Review of My Queen  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ohhhh please let me baby sit him!!! What a beautiful face with those innocent eyes....he doesn't look like he would eat shoes, furniture or any other precious thing you might have in his way! LOL Thank you for sharing him with us. SummerLyn
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Review of Scream!  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ The Title threw me off, I have to share that with you. For some reason, I thought it was pertaining to Halloween...guessing because of your changed name of Boo

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ Here lies, almost a prophecy if you will. The words placed carefully disguising what I see as a 'truth'...a reality that many wish not to face or turn a blind-eye to.

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*None evident...very well written and thought out.

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ The Author here is definitely a talented writer. Beautifully written. Thank you for allowing me to read this that you place before the world, and give it a proper review. Wishing you peace in your moments given~ SummerLyn

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7
Review of Key West  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Beautiful image of Key West! I love it...Did you take this?
8
8
Rated: E | (5.0)
HAHAHA!!1 This one doesn't look undernourished let me tell youuuu...more like spoiled..very, very cute! Thank you so very much for sharing what you have. SummerLyn
9
9
Review of Be Still  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Beautiful image taken Bryan! With the sun rays coming down...lovely and thank you so very much for sharing what you do! SummerLyn
10
10
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ Looking at the title...noticing, although I have written privately to warn the author..spelling is wrong on it if he is relaying the word, Buffalo Being a Lakota...I automatically feel less interested...but will read on.

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ Author relays with good description. It is very touching and thought provoking.

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*Again, the title is important and if any Lakota, other than myself who knows the language fluently would be wondering what you are attempting to spell. If you do not know...check a Lakota Dictionary or someone who knows that may be Lakota.

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ Very well thought out and relayed well. Enjoyable and thought provoking for the viewer. Wishing you peace in your moments~SummerLyn

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11
Review of World Peace  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ Very thought provoking and most certainly, "food for thought".

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ What the author relays is the desire for this reader to say the least...
Can't we share all of our worldly possessions
Including our lands and all of God's blessings

Let's join together in peace across our universe


As a thought...religion can be a good thing, as it can bring you together and bring you to an intimate relationship with that One, or it can be bad, in that it can drive people apart and cause them to fight amongst each other. As another thought...Jesus really didn't form Christianity...it came after him...I don't remember him ever claiming any religion and thought, in fact, that he destroyed the temple because of their ways.

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*I would suggest the author watch his punctuation/or lack of:

Will world peace always remain an illusive goal
Among Muslims, Christians and, Jews we know
Will the confussions of beliefs among our faiths
Always generate malice and with it much hate


Our peaceful God's don't endorse our conflicts
That destroys others lives by causing deaths


Should the following read this way? or would it be better without the 's after 'God'...just my thought here and suggestion.

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ Again, very thought provoking and most certainly 'food for thought'. I feel that whoever reads this, should really stop and think.
Thank you for allowing me to view this and give it my review. I am wishing you peace in your heart~ SummerLyn
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Review of "Crossing Over"  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ A loving and touching tribute

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ The author gives a very descriptive view into the life and love of a brother he knew. Very touching in my opinion.

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*I felt it was such a loving poem. Deep feelings shared throughout.
I felt the flow or rhythmn was off a bit..an example can be found in the following:
You served as a Soldier in Vietnam's war,
Where your lungs contacted Agent Orange,
Now you suffer from terminal lung cancer,
How long will you live only God can answer.


My suggestion would be to read it out loud to yourself and see how you can best reword it to bring it back to a better flow.

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ I feel the author did a very good job here in relaying his feelings, and giving such a loving tribute to honor the life and relationship between he and his brother.

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Review of Baby Picture  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Laugh* I just love the face here...tell me this one doesn't have a personality...it seems like your baby can't be bothered...If cat's could talk..what would this one say...Not againnn...ok...let's get this over with! HA! I love this image shared. So beautiful a cat you have here. Thank you for sharing this. SummerLyn
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Review of The Radio  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ Impressive! It is very descriptive and leaves the reader with a clear image of the characters, as well as the place and time.

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ Wow!!! Talk about fate and destiny...
Could their relationship survive until he reached his discharge date? Was it even fair of him to ask her or expect her to wait for him? The doubts and questions tortured him almost as much as the pain his heart was feeling knowing, as the truck rolled down the city street towards the bus terminal, that he was leaving the love of his life and didn’t know when he’d see her again. On the radio, Tammy Wynette was hitting her stride singing “I Don’t Want to Play House”:

I don’t want to play house
It makes my Mommy cry
‘Cause when she played house,
My Daddy said “Goodbye”

Mary Ann pulled the truck into the parking lot of the Trailways station. They didn’t have much time left; Mike’s bus would board in ten minutes. Mike leaned over, held Mary Ann’s face in both hands, and kissed her tenderly and longingly. Mary Ann returned his kiss, and they sat there in each other’s arms for a moment.

Mike was the first to notice it. The Ford’s radio had been tuned to Tacoma’s country station. But suddenly, inexplicably, while the couple were kissing goodbye, the sound of Robert Goulet’s voice came out of the speaker.

If ever I would leave you,
How could it be in spring-time?
Knowing how in spring I'm bewitched by you so?
Oh, no! not in spring-time
Summer, winter or fall
No, never could I leave you at all

They pulled away from each other and shared a puzzled look. Mike glanced at the radio; the red needle showing the frequency the radio was tuned to was way over to the right side of the dial.


*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*I am a person and writer, who can never seem to place my commas in the right place all the time. So, I raise the question here in the following sentence, if the comma should be there or not...(after grew.)

And so their relationship grew, closer and deeper.

In my mind, I would think that it would be written:
"And so their relationship grew closer and deeper."

Again, I am not the expert. Just my thought.

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ A great story from start to finish...it held my attention and that can be hard to do. I thoroughly enjoyed this story and I thank you for allowing me the opportunity to view it and give it my review. SummerLyn

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Review of Moose  
Rated: E | (5.0)
And what a Moose he is!!! So cute!!!! thank you for sharing this image...I love this. SummerLyn
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Review of Lance's Sunset  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Lovely...almost solemn. Now I know who Lance is as well...Thank you for sharing what you do. SummerLyn
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent image of you...lovely! Thank you so much for sharing what you do. SummerLyn
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Review of Folgers Falls  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ My first thought upon reading this...'been there...done that.' Something we can all relate to at one time or another; therefore, leaving the reader to relate to this easily.

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ I love your descriptiveness...ex: As if a spell had been cast, the packet burst open, sending a spray of finely-ground coffee into the air. Mortified, I stared down at one cuff of my white dress shirt, dusted with a dark film of the mountain-grown stuff. Here is a perfect example of great description, which runs throughout the story...reading this, I could almost smell the coffee upon opening it as you describe here. Great job!

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*None evident. It seems the punctuation is in order as well as spelling.

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ Enjoyable!!! Excellent job as always. The author never lets the reader down, as seen in reading his other stories shared. Thank you for allowing me to review this. SummerLyn

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In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ Good title for this particular poem.

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ Much deep feeling went into this, obviously one of hurt and pain.

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*If I may suggest that you space your paragraphs closer.
You may also watch your spelling. Ex: you pull the trigger and your dead soon. The your in here before dead is spelled "you're".

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ This poem runs deep. I feel that with practice, this author will be an excellent poet. This poem was dark, but enjoyable. Thank you for allowing me to view it and give it a proper review. SummerLyn

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Review of Moving On  
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ You have the reader wondering in the beginning, and actually throughout this story of this man actually being dead or if the marriage had just gone down the tubes that she just didn't care anymore.

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ It flowed pretty well with the story line. The reader never really knows who the narrator is or the woman he is talking about, but I don't think it mattered with this one.

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*This could have made a "5" in my view, but you have to watch comma placement or your lack of. Ex:
When she finished she looked down at her hand and at the ring I had bought her all those years ago. She toyed with it before slowly taking it off and placing it carefully in the jewellery box. Looking back into the mirror she sighed, “It’s not really cheating though, is it?”

Some may look at this paragraph and feel there is also a spelling error, but I realize this is a "British" spelling of it and will not deduct for spelling on this.


*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~Excellent story told by this author. The author clearly holds talent that can only get better with more writing. I look forward to reading more from this author. Thank you for allowing me to view it and give it a proper review. SummerLyn

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Review of God  
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ Thought provoking

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~The author lays out very well all that is of the hand of "God", thus naming this as such. Obviously uncertain, but witnessing the handiwork of "God".

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*I believe I would have spaced the paragraphs.
If I had written it, I believe I would have reworded a few sentences here. One example is as follows:
I have seen the stars that wander in the sky and they had made me quiver with their shine and greatness.
Just thoughts/suggestions here: Could it have read better if the author had worded it something like:
"I have seen the stars sparkling like gems in the dark sky, and I found myself in awe of their beauty and vastness(other words can be used as well to describe such greatness)."

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ I believe there is evidence here of the authors talent. I personally enjoyed reading this and giving it my review and thoughts. SummerLyn

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Review of My Son  
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ A beautiful tribute from a mother to her son.

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ Filled with love and adoration. I truly related to this particular poem because I feel this way about my own son, and I beleive any reader who has a child would. Where does the time go?
Twenty-six and on his own
This blond-haired boy I see
All grown up, but yet, a little boy still to me

A beautiful start to this poem.

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*I found that the rhythmn was a bit off, perhaps with a rechoosing of words. The following line in particular threw me off...
That lives in a world that is his alone
I feel if the author reads this poem a loud she will perhaps hear where it is missing and reword a few lines.
I would also suggest to the author too many uses of the same word...ex: "Who"

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ A very touching poem and it clearly shows the author of this poem's talent. Thank you for allowing me to view it and give it my review. SummerLyn

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Review of Simple Man  
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ Love the title. It reminds me of that song by Lynard Skynerd

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ A lone man walking through life and leaving 'footprints' that so many will never forget. I like what you place here.
Time will turn our hearts to stone once you have gone away
But leave you must for we need learn life’s lessons taught today


*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*I feel that the first stanz was a bit off...
Simple man you walk alone among the convoluted day
All will smile upon you and your simple easy way
Years may pass before your eyes and slowly drift away
But never do you feel the sadness empty you like they


I personally would have changed the last word here..."they", but this is just my thought.

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ I absolutely love the poem. I just felt it was a bit off as I made mention, but otherwise, the author did a wonderful job here with this particular poem. I look forward to reading more from this poet. Thank you for allowing me to view this and give it my review. SummerLyn


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Review of The Waiting Game  
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~ A poem that a reader can easily relate to.

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~ "Love at first sight" comes to mind here. A chance meeting with perhaps the hope of meeting again. I had this happen to me before, whereby I was at the Fort Lauderdale airport and this man and I made eye contact. I know each of us knew we wanted to get off that escalator and say something to each other, but neither of us did, only the memory is left with each of us.

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*I didn't see any visible errors. I see the rating given has been a "4" average, but I don't see why. I feel it read quite well.

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ A lovely poem, sensitive to the heart. I feel the author relayed it quite well. Thank you for allowing me to view it and give it a proper review. SummerLyn

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Review of I'm With You  
In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star*FIRST IMPRESSION~Heartfelt and loving.

*Star*PLOT THOUGHTS*Thumbsup*~This obviously hits its mark with the words relayed from the heart.

*Star*ERRORS/OR SUGGESTIONS~*Right*I felt the rhythm was a bit off. Perhaps if the author of this poem reads it a loud and if after so doing, still feels it is good, then keep it. I just felt something was missing and it was a little off.

*Star*OVERALL SUMMARY~ Beautifully done. Carry on with your writing. It works. SummerLyn



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