Taizia's (taizia2u) Reviews

Taizia

Review Requests: OFF

395 Public Reviews Given

539 Total Reviews Given

26

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3145988

Review of Press On Regardless

Review by Taizia

In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi fyn

, thank you for allowing me to review "Press On Regardless"

. This is a Helping Hearts Review! The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.

Comments:

First Impression:

Are these really town names, or are they figurative? I know that I recognize Hell, Michigan.

Suggestions:

This poems reads two ways, either literal or with reference to life.

I like how the poem unfolds like a story or tale, maybe a precautionary one? About the road of life we travel and the various stops along the way.

The flow seems a little off in spots, this could be my reading interpretation...but take a look.

My fav part was:
Four souls alone in the dark,
No living stream of lights to follow
To Paradise: we, lost souls
Were headed the other direction.

Overall Impression:

I love how I could picture this trip laid out in front of me with the two in the back and the running out of gas. I was curious on what you were intending when you wrote this piece.

Thank you,

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

27

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3145917

Review of Rain of Terror

Review by Taizia

In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi, thank you for entering"Rain of Terror"

into the "Bite Size Poetry Contest"

. The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.

Please remember that I'm not judging on form but on how the piece moved me, that is, it makes me feel good, bad, happy, sad, peaceful and so on; however, I will make comments or suggestions if I see something that stands out.

Here is my scoring method:
3

= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4

= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5

=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.

Comments:

First Impression:

Zombies, Oh My!

Suggestions:

I like the idea of the white rain creating zombies and the imagry of the dinting cars and crumbled bricks.

I would watch the tenses in this piece. You start off in past "we watched the huge raindrops fall" but then proceed to go into present with "dinting cars roves and crumbling brick walls."

Overall Impression:

This piece sets the prelude to an evil existence among the world.

Good luck in the contest!

Taizia

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

28

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3145915

Review of A Good Nights Kiss

Review by Taizia

In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hi, thank you for entering"A Good Nights Kiss"

into the "Bite Size Poetry Contest"

. The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.

Please remember that I'm not judging on form but on how the piece moved me, that is, it makes me feel good, bad, happy, sad, peaceful and so on; however, I will make comments or suggestions if I see something that stands out.

Here is my scoring method:
3

= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4

= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5

=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.

Comments:

First Impression:

Some of the images are simply delicious!

Suggestions:

I think you started off very well but I think it ended to abruptly. This could easier be longer. The task is in this contest is to get me to react to your poem and you are ever so close to it with this piece.

I love the images of the trickle of blood down the soft-skinned nape and how she will wake, to gaze the sun.

But I have questions...why would her skin burn? is the vampire leaving her to burn? Also, fangs that bear no life. I think maybe it should be..."From fangs that bear unnatural life" would be more appropriate because they don't necessarily kill but turn a victim to undead which is unnatural.

Also, please remember that they are just my thoughts, but the last line seems to bother me. I think it would of been more appropriate, given the romantic nature of the vampire, to want company in his immortal life versus created someone just to kill their soul. Otherwise, I don't think they would turn them.

Overall Impression:

This was a great poem that explored the taking of a life to welcome it to an unnatural one. Very nice!

Good luck in the contest!

Taizia

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

29

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3145901

Review of Silence

Review by Taizia

In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi, thank you for entering"Silence"

into the "Bite Size Poetry Contest"

. The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.

Please remember that I'm not judging on form but on how the piece moved me, that is, it makes me feel good, bad, happy, sad, peaceful and so on; however, I will make comments or suggestions if I see something that stands out.

Here is my scoring method:
3

= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4

= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5

=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.

Comments:

First Impression:

Nice sweet poem but didn't follow this week's prompt which was quite the opposite with a darker twist....horror!

Suggestions:

Interesting poem. It leaves room to subjective interpretation on the meaning of this piece.

I see it as children going to sleep and dreaming.

Overall Impression:

Nice poem, love the imagry you created and the vision of silence. Well done!

Good luck in the contest!

Taizia

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

30

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3144207

Review of Winter Touches

Review by Taizia

In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi fyn

, thank you for allowing me to review "Winter Touches"

. This is a Helping Hearts Review! The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.

Comments:

First Impression:

chilling and breath taking!

Suggestions:

I love the flow of this piece and how it rolls of the tongue.

I like how your able to use the words to create a sound...very nice.

My favorite part:
Yesterday
raw blizzard-breath
bit
gnashing teeth
spewing shards of glass

I didn't notice any errors and I didn't see anywhere where I could find something to suggest.

Overall Impression:

This was the first of your pieces I have read so far and look forward to reading more. Your work is inspiring to say the least.

Thank you,

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

31

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3144192

Review of I Love You More Than Ice Cream

Review by Taizia

In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi Rogue♥Sherri

, thank you for allowing me to review "I Love You More Than Ice Cream"

.

Just a note, I am not an editor and make no claims to such. This review will reflect my opinions regarding your piece. I will be looking at characters, plot, poetry flow, word choice, and so on. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.

My scoring method:

3 Stars= Avg, nice piece, needs developement and some work.
4 Stars= Good Piece with little work needed.
5 Stars= Perfect!
Comments:

First Impression:

I couldn't resist reviewing this one based on the name...I love ice cream and music too!

Suggestions:

I loved the part of the mother singing to her child. I did this with my daughter when she was little...her name is Angelique and I would sing "how do you talk to an angel" to her.

Oh, you should of bolded :All that Jazz....it's from Chicago Soundtrack.

Overall Impression:

this was a well done and tear jerking piece. I am so glad I read this one. It was wonderful!

Thank you,

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

32

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3142493

Review of the first sunset and you

Review by Taizia

In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...

Rated: 18+

| (4.0)

Hi, thank you for entering"the first sunset and you"

into the "Bite Size Poetry Contest"

. The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.

Please remember that I'm not judging on form but on how the piece moved me, that is, it makes me feel good, bad, happy, sad, peaceful and so on; however, I will make comments or suggestions if I see something that stands out.

Here is my scoring method:
3

= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4

= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5

=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.

Comments:

First Impression:

Nice poem...love the comparison of the ocean and love.

Suggestions:

I would watch your punctuation and capitalization on this piece.

Overall Impression:

With a little work this piece would be polished.

Good luck in the contest!

Taizia

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

33

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3142471

Review of Mid-August Dawn

Review by Taizia

In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi, thank you for entering"Invalid Item"

into the "Bite Size Poetry Contest"

. The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.

Please remember that I'm not judging on form but on how the piece moved me, that is, it makes me feel good, bad, happy, sad, peaceful and so on; however, I will make comments or suggestions if I see something that stands out.

Here is my scoring method:
3

= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4

= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5

=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.

Comments:

First Impression:

Short but vivid.

Suggestions:

I love the last line of the poem and the padded paws.

But I think you could of expanded this a little more.

Overall Impression:

I saw the image that you were trying to create; however, you limited the reader from more of the senses. I think with two more lines at least, you could of given the reader more visualization and other clues to pull from to create your scene.

Good luck in the contest!

Taizia

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

34

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3141521

Review of Silent Witness

Review by Taizia

In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hi 🌕 HuntersMoon

, thank you for allowing me to review "Silent Witness"

.

Just a note, I am not an editor and make no claims to such. This review will reflect my opinions regarding your piece. I will be looking at characters, plot, poetry flow, and word choice depending on the piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.

My scoring method:

3 Stars= Avg, nice piece, needs developement and some work.
4 Stars= Good Piece with little work needed.
5 Stars= Perfect!
Comments:

First Impression:

Where is the hanky when you need it?

Suggestions:
My favorite part:
The ground lays open,
warmed and lighted by the rising sun.
It lies about the darkness waiting –
it lies about the coldness waiting -
waiting to embrace it's victim,
waiting for a soldiers return.

I love how this part creates dramatic pauses and creates a "waiting" in the reading.

The word choice was brilliant and you created a very touching and beautiful/somber piece.

Lots of visualizations like "flowers flutter" and "ground lays open."

Overall Impression:

This piece is a great reflection of fallen soldiers and you provide a sense...a feeling of a veteran reflecting back on those left behind. Simply Beautiful!

Thank you,

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

35

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3137598

Review of Sunset

Review by Taizia

In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi, thank you for entering"Sunset"

into the "Bite Size Poetry Contest"

. The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.

Here is my scoring method:
3

= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4

= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5

=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.

Comments:

First Impression:

Beautiful phrases intertwine this piece.

Suggestions:

This poem is smooth and has a nice flow to it.

My only suggestion is find a synonym for gloomy that paints more of a harsh feeling. Maybe

Despair washes over me,
As I stand in the shore of Arabian Sea

Try it and see what you can do.

Overall Impression:

I had a nice peaceful and calm feeling reading this but almost felt remiss and saddened about the leaving sun.

Good luck in the contest!

Taizia

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

36

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3137584

Review of A Touch of Love

Review by Taizia

In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi, thank you for entering"A Touch of Love"

into the "Bite Size Poetry Contest"

. The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.

Here is my scoring method:
3

= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4

= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5

=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.

Comments:

First Impression:

Nice abstract...loving the sun.

Suggestions:

I love the first stanza and the lines:
For you are an angel sent from above
Yes, you are my source of breath and light

it reminds me how the one we love is often the source of our being and provides the spark in us.

Overall Impression:

While reading this, I could take it either literally or abstractly. I think that is why I like this piece.

Good luck in the contest!

Taizia

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

37

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3137581

Review of 1798

Review by Taizia

In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi, thank you for entering"1798"

into the "Bite Size Poetry Contest"

. The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.

Here is my scoring method:
3

= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4

= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5

=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.

Comments:

First Impression:

I love that it wasn't about the sun setting on the water...I bet you can imagine how many I've read so far...lol!

Suggestions:

I love the last line and the battle you depict. I especially love the last stanza.

The first stanza's flow is a little rough. You might want to go back and re-vist it.

Overall Impression:

I thought this was great...you might consider adding a little blurb under about which battle or conflict you are speaking of. Not all of us are history buffs.

Good luck in the contest!

Taizia

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

38

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3137557

Review of AFTER THE SUNSET

Review by Taizia

In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi, thank you for entering"AFTER THE SUNSET"

into the "Bite Size Poetry Contest"

. The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.

Here is my scoring method:
3

= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4

= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5

=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.

Comments:

First Impression:

This is a great piece that steps away from the other poems of discussing the beauty of the sunset.

Suggestions:

I love the lines:

Tempted and taunted
the phantom is on me
she's hunting the haunted

However, I am not feeling the last line and how it connects. I can presume to know but it seems to be missing a line to blend or an added element.

Maybe:

tonight I finally surrender

Overall Impression:

Good luck in the contest!

Taizia

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

39

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3137550

Review of Grandpa’s Last Sunset

Review by Taizia

In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

Hi, thank you for entering"Grandpa’s Last Sunset"

into the "Bite Size Poetry Contest"

. The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.

Here is my scoring method:
3

= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4

= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5

=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.

Comments:

First Impression:

Sweet poem in memory.

Suggestions:

I love the line:
My blue eyes a wet rimmed red.

I know that this is only eight lines but I think you could of pulled on my strings a little more.

Maybe something like:

He never saw his last sunset,
He lay unconscious in his bed,
I sat silently, contemplating,
my eyes a wet rimmed red.

Watching the peach ending of day,
I heard him take one final breath,
as if he had something to say,
but away it went with him... into the resting sunset.

Overall Impression:

I would play with it...it's so close and only you can pull the true emotion out for me to read. I really like this piece and think with just a little more...bravo!

Good luck in the contest!

Taizia

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

40

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3137542

Review of As the sun disappears

Review by Taizia

In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi, thank you for entering"As the sun disappears"

into the "Bite Size Poetry Contest"

. The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.

Here is my scoring method:
3

= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4

= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5

=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.

Comments:

First Impression:
The shadows of our lives come toward the sunset.

Suggestions:

I love the line "sunset's brilliant hues mixing"...very colorful.

Overall Impression:

I like the imagery of this piece and how you paint the picture of life passing by.

Good luck in the contest!

Taizia

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

41

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3137523

Review of Night

Review by Taizia

In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi, thank you for entering"Night"

into the "Bite Size Poetry Contest"

. The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.

Here is my scoring method:
3

= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4

= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5

=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.

Comments:

First Impression:

Lovely poem of an intimate moment.

Suggestions:

I like the line:
The warmth of your tender kisses fill me

I would think about changing some of the lines like...
Here we sit ...to ...entangled we sit
As slowly we drift ...to...before fading

Overall Impression:

Try adding a little depth to your piece to add some flavor. While this piece is quite cutesy, I think it could be more if you added some spice.

Good luck in the contest!

Taizia

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

42

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3137295

Review of Scarlet Dawn

Review by Taizia

In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...

Rated: ASR

| (3.5)

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Hello Sir Thomas! Thank you for entering "Scarlet Dawn" in:

Young Stars Shine Your Light Contest

(E)
A CONTEST JUST FOR WRITERS EIGHTEEN YRS OLD AND UNDER! ~ON HIATUS~
#1557458 by NickiD89

In appreciation for the time and energy you spent writing this creative story in response to the prompt, I offer you this in-depth review. Please refrain from editing your piece until after the winners are posted in the forum. Thanks!

[The suggestions following red check marks are based on my observations and opinions. Please only take what you find helpful and leave the rest ]

Characters: 4

's

You have great detail in the interaction of your characters.

However, I would watch your name use. For example...in the second paragraph you use the full name twice in two consequative sentences. This isn't necessary.

Plot/Conflict/Pace: 3.5

's

There is obvious conflict and interaction in this piece and you describe the outcome very well. I like the story line in this piece.

However, I don't know if it was your intention or not, but it reads like a reporting of an event rather than a story. It reads like a newspaper. Because of this, you don't feel as much emotion in this piece as you probably could.

Grammar, Punctuation, and Spelling: 5

's

I didn't notice any obvious errors in this piece.

First Impression Wow Factor: 3.5

’s

There is great detail in this piece and the story is thought out.

However, I wasn't moved or wow'd by this piece.

My Overall Rating: 3.5

I enjoyed your creative story! Reviewers and Judges are in the process of reading each story and writing its review. Winners will be posted in the contest forum no later than the 7th of the month. The Judge will email the winners individually and award their prizes just prior to posting the results. Best of luck to you!

Thank You,

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

43

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3137262

Review of Hush

Review by Taizia

In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi 🌕 HuntersMoon

, thank you for allowing me to review "Hush"

. The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.

Comments:

First Impression:

I love the pictures you attach to your photos. They add an extra depth to the poem. I always see the image and then you paint the story that matches the emotion in the picture.

Suggestions:

My fav:

I find my hands reaching,
covering my heart in a vain
attempt to capture what
once was ...
but is no more.

You do well to create the emphasis...the added pause like taking a deep breath waiting for the exhale.

If there was something to learn from this piece. I would take it as...

give the reader an image and then explain it...what it feels like and what it looks like.

I also like the line "diluted by goodbye's tears" ...very nice.

Spelling/Punctuation/Grammar:

Ok, you have me stumpped here...nadda...nothing...lol

Overall Impression:

Your poems have a sensual draw and you very much are the painter to express the emotions we feel. I like how you are able to illustrate the pain, the tears and sorror with this piece.

Thank you, Your adoring fan...

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

44

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3135845

Review of Apology

Review by Taizia

In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hi huntermoon, thank you for allowing me to review "Apology"

. The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.

Comments:

First Impression:

Wow, this is powerful...bravo!

Suggestions:

I love the ending of this piece:

When you least expect it, events can form a chain.
Lying here the last thoughts coursing through my brain
were "Now you'll never know I'm sorry"...
... as my life flows down the drain.

This is so true of so many things.

Spelling/Punctuation/Grammar:

Hmm, no...not one!

Overall Impression:
The flow and rhyme of this piece worked well and it seemed the heart was reaching out with it's regret. A moving piece that serves as a reminder to watch your step in everything you do because you may never get the chance to appologize for a regret. Wonderfully pulled off!!!

Thank you,

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

45

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3134508

Review of The pain within

Review by Taizia

In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi, thank you for entering"The pain within"

into the "Bite Size Poetry Contest"

. The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.

Here is my scoring method:
3

= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4

= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5

=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.

Comments:

First Impression:

I caught a glimpse of the pain you revealed.

Suggestions:

This is a great poem that seeks to reveal the inner agony of the soul; however, I think you lose some with your word choice. While I understand the words you used with quite deliberation, I think you should consider your reader as well...will they know what those words mean?

I sometimes fall prey to using lustrous words that illuminate and sparkle but it is important to get meaning across to the reader.

Overall Impression:

This is a great poem that is quite explosive with illustration. I really enjoyed it.

Good luck in the contest!

Taizia

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

46

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3134485

Review of Avenue 51 - excerpt.

Review by Taizia

In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...

Rated: E

| (3.5)

Hi, thank you for entering"Avenue 51 - excerpt."

into the "Bite Size Poetry Contest"

. The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.

Here is my scoring method:
3

= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4

= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5

=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.

Comments:

First Impression:

I can see where you were going with this piece but I think it needs a little bit of tweaking.

Suggestions:

The flow on this piece is off...seems rugged. For example:

And for the little home I lay,
In Avenue fifty one, that I miss

Maybe try changing this up some. For example:

But I don't remember my bliss,
when it was twenty one or less.
And for the little home I lay,
in Ave 51, I will miss.

I also notice that the punctuation in this piece isn't consistent.

Take a fresh look at this and see what you can do.

Overall Impression:

This piece has potential for more...tell me about the things you did and the laughter or disappointment. Smells and sounds. Let me see and feel why you miss it so much.

Good luck in the contest!

Taizia

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

47

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3134466

Review of Sixteen Years

Review by Taizia

In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi, thank you for entering"Sixteen Years"

into the "Bite Size Poetry Contest"

. The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.

Here is my scoring method:
3

= Avg/nice piece, only moved me slightly, needs some work.
4

= Nice piece, moved me but needs some work to enhance it.
5

=Perfect piece, that moved me and needs no work.

Comments:

First Impression:

Touching tribute to someone lost at such a young age.

Suggestions:

I really liked:
I wish you could have understood
your journey wasn't over yet,
but I believe you'd made your peace;
I promise I won't forget.

These lines say so much and it is touching.

However,
I was thrown off by the first line.

Sixteen lines for your sixteen years:

Maybe change to something like:

A tear drops for each of your sixteen years,
Yet can not heal the empty pain
Youth stolen by an ancient soul;
you touched my life like no-one had.

I think that mentioning the sixteen lines distracts from this beautiful heart felt piece.

Overall Impression:

this was a great poem that only needs just a little bit of adjustment. I have had this experience in my life and it makes me a bit sad to think of but you express it well.

Good luck in the contest!

Taizia

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

48

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3128119

Review of Losing myself

Review by Taizia

In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Thank you for entering the bite size poetry contest; however, you didn't follow the prompt "how I roll".

As for the poem, I totally relate to it. But you seem to make a shift between one idea to the next without transition. You might try adding a few lines to make it flow a little more through thought.

49

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3114439

Review of It was Tuesday

Review by Taizia

In affiliation with Rockin' Reviewers - Award ...

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi NickiD89

, thank you for allowing me to review "It was Tuesday"

. The following are just my opinions regarding your piece. Please use, or not use, what you may; after all, you are the writer.

Comments:

First Impression:

Where to start...oh yeah, wiping the tears from my eyes...this piece is simply wonderful!

Suggestions:
My favorite part was the description of the bowl on your head and the bonding it created. It wiped away the cultural differences and allowed a stranger into the lives of the community.

Spelling/Punctuation/Grammar:

I did not see anything wrong. Your writing moved me through this piece to the end and left me curious...what got accomplished? were there other trials Sara had to over come?

Overall Impression:

I can see why this piece won and has received such high ratings. This piece touched me with the volunteer and the girl and Sara's struggle to find her place there.

You certainly have a gift Nicki and you need to share it. Have you thought of writing about some of your experiences for national geographic or similar magazine? Your experience with a different culture is simply exciting and an experience I hope I am able to achieve for my dissertation.

Thank you,

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

50

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3114172

Review of Problems

Review by Taizia

In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hi,Kristi

. Thank you for allowing me to read your poem/writing entitled: "Problems"

. This review is from Showering Acts of Joy. I hope my comments are helpful. However, you are always encouraged to follow your own instincts and always KEEP WRITING!

Comments:

First Impression:

Powerful message with no sugar coating!

Suggestions:

My favorite part is the second stanza. I like how it describes the costs of addiction.

"The price could be withering away
locked in an 8 x 10 cell
or even worse - a whole lifetime
of being miserable in Hell."

Spelling/Punctuation/Grammar:

I didn't see any spelling or grammar errors. The rhythm and rhyme on this piece was spot on.

Overall Impression:

Like I mentioned before, I like this piece because you don't sugar coat it. Drugs are hell and they drag you down. I like this message that you are sending with your work...including your other pieces. I give you kudos for that!

Thank you,

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **