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176 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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26
26
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Spartacus, bringer of rain, slayer of the shadow of death



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What's up BScholl

My thoughts:An interesting story, liked the mysterious end. Appearantly he was in some sort of accident, liked the mystery of this dream world he was in.

My Favorite part: Plucked it from it's watery predicament. That was some nice writing.

Typos:has I remember it clearly(,Maybe I remember it so clearly)

Strolled towards the top of the 'knob'

Also check out my latest masterpiece and let me know what you think

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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Spartacus, bringer of rain, slayer of the shadow of death



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What's up Starmic

My thoughts:An interesting read.

My Favorite part:The blue dust that became the wisp that lead to the demons, that was a nice creative touch.

Characters:Felt like I didn't get to know the characters, that is often the case in these short pieces. But felt like you could of added some info on the characters motivations so we could better understand why they were doing the things they did.

My issues/suggestions:When you said the terrain was getting deeper, did you mean he was going underground? Think you needs to make that part clearer.

I'm not 100% sure but I'm assuming Vaz and Alexander are two different persons. In which case you need to make that more clear. When Vaz first came up there was no mention of who he was or any indication that the story was now focused on a different person, was wondering if maybe Vaz was a nickname for Alexander. There was also a paragraph that ended with Vaz swimming to the island and the next paragraph began with Alexander exhausted on the beach after swimming to the island which is what got me thinking they were probably the same person.

Also don't understand what happened when Vaz and Alexander met each other.

The ending where Vaz killed the demon came off as to easy, felt like this was the climax of the story but it wasn't very exciting.

Typos:has but you good boy..(think you wanted: a good boy)

Also check out my latest masterpiece and let me know what you think

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28
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Spartacus, bringer of rain, slayer of the shadow of death



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What's up Bobturn

My thoughts:An interesting piece, always fun to see what post apocalyptic people think about things of the past. And had a lot of interesting hints about the current state of society.

My Favorite part:When you said Sal was the salt to Mort's pepper, think that was a cool way to show their friendship.

Characters:Sal seemed like the risk taker of the two, while Mort came off as the opposite, afraid one of Sal's crazy ideas would eventually get them into trouble.

My issues/suggestions: Nothing to report :)

Typos:has: they're rare as we... Think you wanted 'as rare'

Also check out my latest masterpiece and let me know what you think

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29
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Spartacus, bringer of rain, slayer of the shadow of death



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What's up Michael

My thoughts:An interesting story, vampire vs zombies and wendigos. The wendigos were a nice original touch too.

My Favorite part: when bran cleaved the skills off the 4 zombies.

My issues/suggestions:when you said the wendigos didn't mind the walking dead stumped me for a while. Had to re read it a few times to get that you meant they don't attack zombies when they are just walking (at least I hope that's right) but you should make that more clearer.

Typos:none that I noticed.

Also check out my latest masterpiece and let me know what you think

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30
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Spartacus, bringer of rain, slayer of the shadow of death



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Whazz up Justin

My thoughts:A fun and hilarious read, really enjoyed it.

My Favorite part:when Earl shouted I am caterpillar man, I genuinely did not expect what happened next. Thought it was like some joke that he thought he had caterpillar powers. Was laughing out loud as I read on, so it really got me.

Typos:has "he crawled 'to' his hands... Think you wanted 'on'

Lightning truck the tree...(struck)

Also check out my latest masterpiece and let me know what you think

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31
Review of the cold-2  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Spartacus, bringer of rain, slayer of the shadow of death



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Hello again Justin

My thoughts: Another interesting installment. An enjoyable read.

My Favorite part:when Todd said "He be lying I tells ya." Always been a big fan of that way of speaking. Is there a name for it?

Characters: Hank's father and officer Harley were interesting to read. Harley came off as a pretty good guy, compassionate.

Todd's drunkenness was also well written and the reasons for it were nicely explained.

My issues/suggestions:At the end where the officer said they may never know what happened. Why not just let him write it?

Typos:you has "non other that..." Pretty sure it's none other than...

Hold this land to be very secred.(sacred)

Under the impression"the" he's mute.

Also check out my latest masterpiece and let me know what you think

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Review of the cold 1  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Spartacus, bringer of rain, slayer of the shadow of death



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What's up Justin

My thoughts:A great story, interesting and an awesome twist.

My Favorite part:The ending when Rick became the monster, that was a pleasant surprise.

Characters:The character personalities were well described and their behavior and language matched their personalities.

My issues/suggestions:

Typos:In the firelight the boys could see ??? engraved into... Think you wanted"something" there.

Also check out my latest masterpiece and let me know what you think

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Review of The Golden Pool  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Spartacus, bringer of rain, slayer of the shadow of death



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*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


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What's up W D Wilcox

My thoughts:An awesome story, loved the poetic writing style, hopefully I could write like that some day.

My Favorite part:Liked the I am mother Earth at the end, that was cool. Was this like a origin story for mother Earth or she did she just say it cause of the power she felt?

Liked how you described chaos, really brought the colors alive :)

Characters:Hollana didn't really stand out for me, not necessarily a bad thing. It was a short piece and the dialogue or her journey to the pool didn't show anything unique to who she is.

My issues/suggestions:When you said the balance of nature will tilt against us temporarily. I feel you should take out temporarily cause it makes the situation seem less grim/worrying.

she plunged into the water as if it were a pool of nightmares puzzled me as to what exactly it meant, she sprinted sprinted at the appearance of the enemies so feel like you probably don't mean she was reluctant.

Also when you said she plunged into the water I pictured like a diving Action on her part, the following sentence indicated that she was like wading. Maybe it's just how I interpret plunging but should make it clearer if it's brought up again.

And I was wondering why she went out into the water. If her goal was to drink from the pool why not do it from the waters edge?

Typos: None that I noticed :)

Also check out my latest masterpiece and let me know what you think

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Review of Deserted island  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Spartacus, bringer of rain, slayer of the shadow of death


Super Power Reviewers
August 31st Flash Review Challenge



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What's up Maryann

My thoughts:A great piece. Stuck on a deserted island and learning the rest of the world is being nuked, an awesome setting, could see it being the start of a great story. Also it was hilarious, especially coming to the end.

My Favorite part:The news report that came over the radio at the end. That was hilarious, like who are the people making these decisions. When the guy said great Britain launched nukes to stop Iraq's nukes had me like what?! Funniest thing I've read in a while. I do hope it was meant to be funny though, if not then I do apologise, wasn't trying to make fun. Either way a great piece of writing.

Characters:The couples were interesting, and had great dialogue between them. They seemed too happy at times but maybe that's just me.

My issues/suggestions:The paragraph with the first sentence Ken being humbly glad that the couples really liked the island was nice but the spinning and the bear hugs seemed like a strange reaction, at least to me, so maybe if anyone else mentions it you may want to take look at that.

Surrounded safely by palm trees. I think you should take out safely, because being surrounded by palm trees wouldn't be offering much in the way of protection. Also maybe have the camp be surrounded by just various forest trees instead of just palm.

Typos:None that I noticed.

Also check out my latest masterpiece and let me know what you think

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35
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Spartacus, bringer of rain, slayer of the shadow of death

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What's up Maryann. Thanks a bunch for the costumicon :)

My thoughts: A well written story. Felt like it was meant for a younger audience but it was an interesting read.

My Favorite part: when they had just arrived and Pam was all mesmerized by the beauty of the sky and clouds, something I can relate to :)

My issues/suggestions: Had no issues with it

Typos: No typos

I also has a book I'm working on, check it out and let me know what you think.

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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Spartacus, bringer of rain, slayer of the shadow of death

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What's up Leif, hello again.

My thoughts: A very interesting plot idea and a interesting story.

My Favorite part:When Ray told the story about star wars, lol, that was gold.

When you revealed that Ray was the blue man, that was interesting

Characters: I liked Ray,he was an entertaining character to read. Dude lost his nose and gained powers, curious about what happened to him.

Gordy seemed unnecessary, I see you have a continuation so maybe his story is going somewhere but for this piece all I saw of him was him losing internet connection and his conversation with a American guy.

My issues/suggestions: you said the blue man had a hole in his face, at first I pictured like a hole straight through his head but then figured that probably wasn't the case. It's probably more like a dent maybe? So maybe that could be made more clear.

I'm not too familiar with British history/royal families and I sort of got lost when you mentioned some of the royal figures. Wasn't too sure if they were guys from the past or they were made allies of the aduain.

The scene where they had like tanks and helicopters and stuff waiting to ambush the army that was two weeks late. I can't conceive how they could have possibly lost this battle, assuming they didn't manage to get a single helicopter or tank moving the fact that they had guns seems like an overwhelming advantage.

You mentioned a lady Nikola and William having nukes and building a wall. The idea that they would use nukes makes me think they are from the future but also wondering if this is the same Duke William guy. Also feels like the origin of this conflict needs some explaining.

Typos:No typos :)

I also has a book I'm working on, check it out and let me know what you think.

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Review of Sierra the Robot  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Spartacus, bringer of rain, slayer of the shadow of death

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What's up Phoenix Scribe

My thoughts:An interesting and well written piece.

My Favorite part: when I her father brought in her body. Was like oh, so she's like in a computer screen or something, felt excited for her.

Characters:Sierra was interesting to read. At the end one of her goals was to develop emotions within herself, but throughout the story she expressed her emotions well, didn't seem like she had any doubts about her feelings.

My issues/suggestions: Think you needed to describe the setting, and how Sierra existed before she was put into the body, like was she a hologram or a face on a computer monitor?

Typos:filling a little stuffed

I also has a book I'm working on, check it out and let me know what you think.

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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Yes, this Saint Vincent and the Grenadines sounds like a marvelous place, absolutely astonishing and I'm not just saying that because I live there :)

I'm also curious about why you wrote this piece, most people I meet online have never heard of us.

The capital is called Kingstown though. And I wouldn't know the correct religion percentages to give you but seventh day Adventist is definitely in the running for number one.

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39
Review of Pocket Monster  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Spartacus, bringer of rain, slayer of the shadow of death

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What's up Than

My thoughts:A well written story, easy to read, but didn't feel like anything happened.

My Favorite part:"sharkcats" most definitely.

Characters:It's a short piece so I didn't really get to know the characters but I found the parents really interesting. Trace/Tracey and Darrell didn't really stand out for me, don't think boring would be the right word, more like they were just normal.

My issues/suggestions: Squirrelctrics, I'm assuming you wanted Squirrelectrics maybe.

Typos:none that I saw

I also has a book I'm working on, check it out and let me know what you think.

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40
Review of Scales  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Spartacus, bringer of rain, slayer of the shadow of death

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What's up Angus, saw you made the lightning list and figured I would check out your port.

My thoughts:An awesome story, really enjoyed reading it. Had me completely invested in learning what was going on in this town.

My Favorite part:At the end when he had his bottle of rum and shotgun, just waiting for the first sign of trouble. Felt really suspenseful.

When he was calling around and hearing everyone's stories and learning that the town was surrounded.

When the girl was talking in that hissing voice, sent the dude home permanently. Ain't leave his house for six days :)

Characters:The hero was interesting, he spoke with genuine concern for his situation and still somehow made me smile at it all.

My issues/suggestions: when Lenny was showing the hero his scales where you said 3" by 4" mark. Feels like patch or some other word/phrase might have been better to use than mark.

Typos: None that I sa

I also has a book I'm working on, check it out and let me know what you think.

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41
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Spartacus, bringer of rain, slayer of the shadow of death

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What's up mista winstrom

My thoughts:An interesting story.

My Favorite part:When you revealed that kurai was the sister of the demon that gave Jin his power.

Characters:Jin was an interesting character. Living a life constantly on the run from demons, just trying to survive. The death of his family and his deal with a demon was a nice, tragic back story. Though it would also be good to know he had plans beyond just surviving.

Tensai was a good character, feel like you depicted his personality really well.

Kage was also interesting, very mysterious. Didn't really know what he was thinking until the end.

My issues/suggestions:"at that moment of time it would..." Feel like "at the moment it would..." Would be a better fit.

"forever in pursuit and force to kill to survive." Think you need to change it to being pursued or is it that Jin is pursuing something or you're referring to the demons always pursuing him. Either way think the sentence needs some editing to make it clear.

"the nature of the demons he faced against." Think you should take out against.

"For the off-set chance" think it's "on the off chance"

When the suicide bomber was falling to Jin, you said he grabbed him in midair then rolled on his back... This scene needs to be clearer, don't know what you were visualizing but I can't see it. Like How did he grab him then roll on his back? Also thought it you should include like Jin's thoughts/feelings when he looked up and saw the suicide bomber.

"Sure he was safe of pursuit" could be, sure he was safe from his pursuers,

Typos:None that I noticed.

I also has a book I'm working on, check it out and let me know what you think.

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Review of The right choice.  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Spartacus, bringer of rain, slayer of the shadow of death

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What's up Bard

My thoughts:An interesting idea.

My Favorite part:When the guy went to rest in the side street for just a bit. And then you said it was three days ago and he hasn't moved since.

Characters:Felt sorry for the guy, he was trying hard to make it but the world around him was a dark place. With his boss spitting on him and a beggers guild that wouldn't help him out.

My issues/suggestions:Think you should describe the guy's appearance, like what he was wearing etc, it would make the image of him freezing to death in an alley more vivid/easier to visualize.

Typos:has:"after shaking of the mortal..."

I also has a book I'm working on, check it out and let me know what you think.

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Review of Raised on Legends  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Spartacus, bringer of rain, slayer of the shadow of death

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What's up Vaguegrim

My thoughts:An awesome story. Well written and very exciting, I truly loved it.

My Favorite part:When she questioned who she was and was ready to give up but instead found the strength to continue fighting.

When she started to advance on the monster, her steps becoming a stride, her stride becoming a sprint. That was pretty cool.

Characters: The protagonist was inspiring, and well written as the "persevering/never give up type" hero.

The Antagonist also played his role. Didn't get much info on him/it but felt he played his part well.

My issues/suggestions:Think you should of gave a some description or hint as to the appearance of the antagonist. Other than that he/she/it shot smoke like atks and thorns from the ground has no info on it. Like is it human/humanoid, walks on all fours?

The setting was also vague, from the descriptions of fallen warriors and the grey sky I figure they are in an open area outside but think you should mention if they on a grassy plain or barren Rocky area etc

Typos:-"she had found he had stood..."

I also has a book I'm working on, check it out and let me know what you think.

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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
Spartacus, bringer of rain, slayer of the shadow of death

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What's up purescifi

My thoughts:An interesting read.

My Favorite part:let's see, I'm ten and I've been talking since I was two. So that means I've been asking you for a pet for eight years now, lolol. Yea the was cool :)

Characters:Cyton was pretty much still a blur to me by the end of the story. Knew he runs a sorta zoo ship and he has no problems lying and kidnapping humans.

My issues/suggestions:Felt Cyton's appearance needed to be described some more in the beginning. Cause you said he had his paw hands clasped behind his back, left me wondering what is he. The behind his back part gives me the idea he's most likely humanoid but there's so many animals with paws that he could be a hybrid of assuming that he's a hybrid of an like a human and something else.

Also when you said there was a sitting cat alien then cyton addressed someone named peec. At first I figured the cat was maybe someone's pet figured it was maybe some little kitten with two tails or something but as I read on got the feeling peec and the alien cat were the same person. Think it needs some description of the cat and some clarity to show the cat and peec is one and the same.(or is it one in the same? First time using that phrase :)

When cyton asked peec about nolim. She said they had already learned a lot. Then the next paragraph starts with a few seconds later peec continued. Why a few seconds later? If she was collecting her thoughts/etc would be better/clearer to say that. Or if nothing of note is going on think you should rephrase that part.

Think the cast in general needs more description of there physical appearance. Like are they like humanoid with dog and cat heads? Or do they walk on all fours?

Typos: preventing are scans(our)

It doesn't look they have yet( It doesn't look like they have yet) And maybe take out the"yet"

Let's leave.(lets)

off his laps. (Lap)

One on top of the of the small ones.

I also has a book I'm working on, check it out and let me know what you think.

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In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Spartacus, bringer of rain, slayer of the shadow of death

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What's up again kmack

My thoughts: an interesting story. In the beginning I was like what's going on but it came together nicely.

My Favorite part:Was hearing Grendel's confusion about which creatures were which and how he spoke in general.

Characters:Calpol was an interesting guy. Had a sorta cool confident vibe.

Grendal was great, a crazy alien. Was fun to hear him speak.

My issues/suggestions:How about The RAC, just think it sounds better personally

It's been all we can do to keep it of the keep press. Didn't mention that they did anything? And also it's or its?

Felt like Grendal needed to be described clearer, mostly his physique. Got that he was grey scaled and had cinder block sized claws but Think describing the general body structure is the most important description when dealing with fictional creatures. With the forearms talk in the beginning I'm thinking maybe a lockness monster type kinda creature but either way needs to be clearer.

Also was with all the {size:2s I has no idea what the function does but is it supposed to be there?

Typos: it's mind going... (its)

Has:micro climates every where... (Everywhere)

Has: of the press. (Off)

Has:its' hide (its)

Has: it's lived here(it has)

I also has a book I'm working on, check it out and let me know what you think.

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Review of Whiff the Dragon  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Spartacus, bringer of rain, slayer of the shadow of death

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What's up Ruth

My thoughts:A great story, it was funny and I really enjoyed reading it.

My Favorite part: when the dragon started talking and he knight was like, erm... That was hilarious

Characters:both whiff and gadaboute were really interesting. Through their dialogue I got a pretty concrete sense of who they were

My issues/suggestions:in the first paragraph you said he was walking for hours in his armor then said modern knighthood didn't involve wearing tons of steel, left me wondering what exactly is he wearing. Think maybe some description of his attire would make him more easier to visualize.

When the dragon asked him if he had ever met anyone who slayed a dragon. He said "Well,no?" Don't see why the "no" is a question. Why not just a fullstop or well... no.

Typos: paragraph one: it if was the exertion...(if it)

Has: the air seem to warm as well. (Grammar not really my strong suit but pretty sure you want:seemed)

Has: Now them let's be...(then)

I also has a book I'm working on, check it out and let me know what you think.

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Review of Mail Order Garden  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Spartacus, bringer of rain, slayer of the shadow of death

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MAY REVIEW RAID


What's up Timothy

My thoughts: It was an interesting read.

My Favorite parts: when he described the garden and how it was larger than the room.

When the dragon swooped down and roosted the lobster monster

When he conjured up the bull over the grill.

Characters:Marty seemed... strange(not necessarily in a negative way, more like I have no idea what's his deal.),he didn't really seem to care about the problems around him. About the monsters that lived around his home or that using magic could hurt himself or those around him.

The dragons were strange as well, mostly they were wagging their tails and eating treats, pretty much being guard dogs. They also seemed intelligent when they spoke.

My issues/suggestions: Think you should re-word this sentence "He fled his home and created his own home" so it wouldn't sound as repetitive.

You said he was banned from his own land and also that he fled. Seems contradictory as being banned is sorta like they threw him out but if he fled, that would imply he was being pursued.

Instead of "sent burning embers every direction"
How about "in every direction" or "flying in every direction"

"Shook the worst of the dirt off of it." Think you should exclude the "of it."

"Spat the words out.." think you should exclude "out"

Typos:Has:"from his own land, He fled.." needs either a full stop or common h.

"He seen an advertisement.." (saw)

"When he seen the burning book..",(saw)

"He seen was saturated.." (he saw it was saturated)

I also has a book I'm working on, check it out and let me know what you think.

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#2154451 by Not Available.
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48
Rated: E | (3.5)
Spartacus, bringer of rain, slayer of the shadow of death

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MAY REVIEW RAID


What's up McCoy

My thoughts:An interesting piece, fantasy lands and magic powers are pretty much my favorite things to read about.

My Favorite part:The first couple of sentences where kelko was running through the woods, that was really well done.

Characters: I feel like both kelko's and Warwick's emotions about confronting each other and about kelko's crime should of been more vividly depicted.

My issues/suggestions:In the third paragraph you has "stood back up." Using stood up or stood back up is something I usually find myself struggling with, but think you should just use "stood"

Where you said "the effects are marking your body now" think you should give some description about the marks.

After the forth paragraph, I was unsure of who was speaking, needs to add some dialogue tags to make it more clear.

Was my first time seeing the word earthern, googled it but still not sure if it's an actual word or not. All the Google results came back with no definition.

Felt like it should of had a more conclusive end for a prologue.

Also found myself wondering why kelko was leaning against a tree. Maybe cause he was tired but think you should add some insight into that.

Typos:Has: all the while know...(knowing)

Has: Said Warwick (said)

Forgot the "." At the end of the paragraph that begins "Should've figured....

Also in same paragraph you has "faired better" (fared)

I also has a book I'm working on, check it out and let me know what you think.

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49
Rated: E | (4.0)
Spartacus, bringer of rain, slayer of the shadow of death

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What's up Eliacie

My thoughts:A well written chapter. The ending was interesting but still felt somewhat unfulfilled.

My Favorite part:was your use of colorful descriptions, heavy hour and generous frame.

Characters:Forkbeard was well written, my impression of him is that he's strong, he doesn't show his emotions and he is determined to fulfil his role as protector of his family.

Mertha was interesting, seems like she was trying to help. Not exactly sure why Forkbeard seemed irritated by her presence but guess could be revealed later on.

Gwenyth fulfilled her role as the concerned mother.

My issues/suggestions:In the first sentence you said crows were sent from the "Roost", thinking you should be more clear about what the Roost is, the word makes me think it's some sort of birds nest but maybe it's just the name of a place?

When gweneth said "I should go" should use a dialogue tag or something there, wasn't sure who was speaking.

"It's not the time for such thoughts, dear, not tonight." Think you should take out the comma after thoughts.

Think maybe you should mention his daughter's age, I'm thinking she's like a toddler but should add just for clarification.

The end was interesting but also felt a bit let down that he just talked to the dragon and resolved the issue.


Typos:Has "copperkettle"

Has "ribbonsand struck out wildly around a face as pale aswatered-down milk"

Has"helplessnessand"

Has "andthe news spread"

Has " back of your mindtiny"

I also has a book I'm working on, check it out and let me know what you think.

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Review of Now Serving  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Spartacus, bringer of rain, slayer of the shadow of death

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What's up Mickey

My thoughts:A captivating, inspiring and well written piece.

My Favorite part:When he realized his calling.

Characters:John is well written, his resolve was inspiring.

My issues/suggestions:Think you should remove the comma after lately in the first paragraph.

Typos: didn't see any typos

I also has a book I'm working on, check it out and let me know what you think.

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