Spartacus, bringer of rain, slayer of the shadow of death
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What's up Eliacie
My thoughts:A well written chapter. The ending was interesting but still felt somewhat unfulfilled.
My Favorite part:was your use of colorful descriptions, heavy hour and generous frame.
Characters:Forkbeard was well written, my impression of him is that he's strong, he doesn't show his emotions and he is determined to fulfil his role as protector of his family.
Mertha was interesting, seems like she was trying to help. Not exactly sure why Forkbeard seemed irritated by her presence but guess could be revealed later on.
Gwenyth fulfilled her role as the concerned mother.
My issues/suggestions:In the first sentence you said crows were sent from the "Roost", thinking you should be more clear about what the Roost is, the word makes me think it's some sort of birds nest but maybe it's just the name of a place?
When gweneth said "I should go" should use a dialogue tag or something there, wasn't sure who was speaking.
"It's not the time for such thoughts, dear, not tonight." Think you should take out the comma after thoughts.
Think maybe you should mention his daughter's age, I'm thinking she's like a toddler but should add just for clarification.
The end was interesting but also felt a bit let down that he just talked to the dragon and resolved the issue.
Has "ribbonsand struck out wildly around a face as pale aswatered-down milk"
Has "andthe news spread"
Has " back of your mindtiny"
I also has a book I'm working on, check it out and let me know what you think.
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