Quite a dramatic poem in the sense that the reason for anxiety is revealed in the end.
"I shelve the anxiety.
Frustrated by my fractures."
I can see why you are so concerned of the "moment" ending soon.
However, despite "fractures" you could feel the light, the temperature, the touch and the feel of the body next to you.
The control of the feelings over the body is well explored.
Hi Sandra
this is a beautiful story told at a leisurely pace with many interesting incidents. The idea of love blossoming in the midst of a mind-blowing pandemic is excellent.
The two characters are well defined and the way they met over the fence is novel. The gradual growth of love between the two happened in a natural manner. I think that is how love should take root.
Description of the pandemic, the testing and the fear are played well just as the wedding that took place in a street. Everything is possible with love in their hearts.
this is a mature poem with a lot of sense. My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on the completion of another year at the WDC. Have a wonderful day.
I like this poem because you showed what letting go is. Understanding the one you love is a rare quality. I thinks this poem shows how to be generous enough to realize that what works for you doesn't work for the other.
Though painful, this experience of letting someone out of a situation which you cannot better is great. It grants freedom to both and what is more important than freedom whether in love or life?
Imagery is visual and it helps me see the situation between the two of you.
this is a nice analysis of two lives, one which had a wasted life and the other surrounded by love and care.
When death arrives one should be able to rest well in its arms. It is inevitable anyway.
The lines below sent a wave of chill up my spine.
"only that death's final call
has not yet rung its peal."
I think it is the finality about this unknown end of life that renders me a bit overwhelmed.
Another key observation in this poem catches my attention.
"for God blessed me with reason to live:"
With a reason to live, life attains the color of fulfillment. Peace and contentment follow in its wake.
There are a number of valuable truths of life in this poem.
It imagery appeals to me.
Rhyme and rhythm go hand in hand.
The flow is poetic and quietly impressive.
So, this face to face with the silence in the forest brings out the buried past to the open. Also, I note that the unfortunate incident that happened to you has something to do with the forest and the smell of a rotten tree. You knew it and when you were in the midst of the woods, away from civilization, it comes out of your conscience and stands facing you.To me, it looks like fear born out of a feeling of guilt.
"... you have created by hiding an unfortunate event in your past?"
Keeping the secrets is like carrying unnecessary baggage on the back.
The fear of becoming mad if the ceaseless silence continues is also of importance.
I think the solution lies in ending this fear by opening the past and getting rid of the skeletons in the cupboard.
I found it interesting to go through the web of fear that the mind conjures.
this poem on the loss of your mother is quite touching. My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulation on being an active member of the WDC for one more year. Have a wonderful anniversary.
Your lines on the sadness at losing mother reaches out. The loss of a dear one is well shown in this rhyming poem. It is a memorable tribute to her.
The title shows the incident of a mother's demise taking place in November. The rain helped you give way to grief stricken tears.
"Now the drops that are falling are like tears.
I mix them with my own,"
With no way of getting them back, the best that could happen to us is the treasure of memories left behind. They bring solace to an injured soul.
The dialog between the departed and the living continues through the thick and thin of life.
It flows well with perfect rhyming and word choices.
Hello,
it is certainly gratifying to know the role of engineers in designing the right kind of masks, beds and ventilators for the Corona patients and various other necessary tools meant to control the Corona virus.
Vaccine is as important as the means of curing the patients. Both the doctors and the engineers could be termed as front line warriors.
The invention of vaccine is truly a victory for man's determination and brilliance. Let us hope we will soon see the end of the deadly Corona in the near future.
This article goes a long way in creating awareness among people about those who work hard behind the screen.
Yes, it is a truly helpful poem. Just to think of the loved one being seen in every feature of nature makes us imagine him being right with us.
Imagery is drawn from the sun, the sea, the rain, the whole life in general.
" I will live on and continue to be a part of your life.
Because I will always love you."
This is how I would like to imagine my loved one. Ever with me, which in turn fills me with courage and joy.
Hi Serena,
I enjoyed reading this romantic story.
The dialog is very well delivered. It is appealing because you appropriately mentioned bits of past in between the conversation and made the reader aware of what came to pass them by.
If he were so absorbed in her thoughts, why did he marry? He could have just waited for the same chance to meet his old love without being divorced and left with a five year old boy.
That apart, I appreciate the gestures of love and feelings the characters undergo.
this is a touching poem that reflects the poet's destabilized state of mind that denies age-old concepts of love. My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on having completed one more year at the WDC.
Have a wonderful day!
The refrain-
"I don't know anymore....."
shows that the poet has either lost or about to lose faith in love. It happens when you are shocked at the turn of events and do not have any reason to believe in love.
The view-
that love might not exist anymore is born out of personal experience. This is a natural outcome of frictions in life.
However, the fact is that the stars, the roses and the eternal love of Romeo and Juliet still remain the unchallenged symbols of love.
Various references to nature and the attractive concepts of love in the Bard of England's plays are apt and appealing.
Poetic style is equally winsome.
Imagery and symbol mix and make the poem a powerful read.
Hi Donna,
it is a impressive story, the true story of a mother's situation when she has to let go. My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on completing another year of creative writing at the WDC. Have a wonderful day.
Your narration is gripping from the beginning of the story. The bond between a mother and child cannot be described in words. You have shown the feelings of their belonging together very well indeed. The story is winsome because it is based on real life.
It is difficult to give up attachment. However, we should realize that the deeper the attachment is the more difficult it is to give up.
The decision you made at the end is quite sensible and in the order of things. Life changes and so should people, especially, mothers.
I am impressed by your unspoken feelings of love to your beloved. My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations and have a great day.
Poetic style-
The first thing that appeals to me is the way you expressed those inner thoughts and feelings of love. Yes, it would be your doing if you do not tell her those important words, "I love you."
The stages of this restrained love are well shown. It sure feels beautiful to feel the rhythms of love everyday as you see her.
And then it becomes a burden to carry the load of love without sharing it with the one person that matters.
Hello Chris Breva,
this is an interesting story. My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on being an active writer for another year at the WDC. Have a wonderful day!
This man with a stash of marijuana, is lucky to have escaped with ease from the police custody. Carrying drugs is as much a crime as any other. Yet, the officer was good enough to let you go.
It is equally curious that he attended to your wishes and finally dropped you at your destination.
You told the story in a manner that engages the reader very well indeed. Narration and dialog help me understand the events. Language and style posed no problems for me.
I can see the sense this poem makes. My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on completing yet another active year at the WDC. Have a wonderful day1
Theme-
Philosophic and a bit remorseful about the changing phases of life.
"I wonder where my life has gone
And how it will end."
"I wonder of the good days"
It has a thoughtful mood and a quiet pondering tone about the observations you made in the "peach farm."
Poet's eye studied the surroundings and reflected on them. The pelicans made her feel positive about future and there is expectation of a happy future.
Imagery is all about the peach farm and the poet surrounded by a stream of thoughts and expectations.
Hi Winchester,
I find this story interesting and thought-provoking.
I think Boris is working for some bad guys and not aware of what they intend to do with the young woman he was supposed to inject with maybe something lethal.
It also appears to be a case where right people met in the wrong place. The girl on the bus and Boris have an instant affinity and could not take it further for individual reasons.
Descriptions, internal thoughts and contemplation are interesting studies. Each lost in his own mind and failed to relate to one another.
The two catch lines are regarding the blue spider and the injection to be administered in the neck of the suspect.
Nothing is solved. Yet, it makes a great read by itself. Mention of the Prague and the strange accent only add to the reader's curiosity.
Hi Freedom,
this poem on love caught my eye and here I am reviewing it. My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations and have a great day.
Your description of love is a departure from the usual practice of describing it. It is more open and more real.
"keeps my voice quiet
and makes me feel sick"
this is way it was for me when I first recognized love. It takes time to get used to being in love. It kind of clips us from being too free and independent. I can see the way it affects you as well.
Imagery-
The girl who was so far carefree suddenly, becomes quiet and subdued. Life too changes and your concentration is more on the person who stole your heart from under your nose. It floors you and the only way to react is to keep silent and feel the fear of losing it.
this is an unusual self reflection that attracted me. My review of this contest entry that won a huge award-icon is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations and have a wonderful day!
Nothing like being a part of nature. Be it a flower or a blade of grass tossing and enjoying affinity with nature gives pleasure immeasurable.
" I wish I could be among them, a part of their wild roots."
Wild flower-
to me it speaks of unbridled freedom, joy that crosses the borders of the world and beauty that is ethereal and otherworldly. A flower is still a flower, delicate and delicious by whatever name you call it.
So, if someone compares you with a wild flower, it should be a matter of joy and not of doubt.
However, I like the way you launched a debate on being a wild flower.
A wonderfully woven poem on the swallow perching on the edge of a broken dream.
"He came upon a swallow;"
These lines remind me Oscar Wilde's The Happy Prince. Once lived in luxury and beauty, the prince suffers from remorse and the stony cage made of gems and gold.
This poem has a reverse theme that vibrates with a positive outlook. The man was lured from the suicidal edge of a broken dream and wanders back to life, thanks to the singing swallow.
The extended simile is just apt and its poetic rhythms have a reaching out effect.
"As deep as open seas, where
Sailors young and old and free
Drowned sorrows in despair."
Past is dead and buried
and a bright future beckons.
Hello Intuey,
As always it is a pleasure to read your poetry, rhymed or free verse.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on having completed yet another year at the WDC. Have a lovely day.
Cyclone is a great metaphor for a person's turbulent state of mind in the aftermath of death and loss. The specter of loneliness and pain of missing a dear one is aptly compared to the raging cyclone.
"It's all about horrid death."
Mental peace is in a shambles and the physical state is beyond redemption at least for as long as the cyclone continues its deathly dance.
"leaving me stunned and undone.
Thoughts of you left me craze."
The misery of loss and missing of a loved one have to subside by itself like the cyclone ends its disastrous impact.
Rhyme and rhythm are splendid. Word choices and imagery are apt for the chosen topic.
It is an incredibly interesting story. It has several themes to it.
The daughter's question-
It is the daughter who launches the search for her mother's past life. So we plunge along with her into the labyrinths of the past.
The Father-
Her father has nothing to say except losing temper when the past is raked by his daughter. The readers get more curious as to the kind of character the mother was.
The girl's saga to finally reach the truth about her mother took her through many turns and twists before landing at the address given by Lydia who knew the past of Carol Ann, the girl's mom.
Here the tragedy begins. Her search for truth took the life of Andy.
Carol Ann's story is one of impossible love.
I think it is a story that certainly warns those who try to uncover past out of curiosity and an unstoppable desire to "know". It is better to let bygones be bygones.
A very sensitive of poem on love that was. Yet, it lives in memories. But alas, those memories have a way of being erased by time, the tyrant.
"Growing dimmer
This memory
Of once having
been loved."
The state from loving company to complete loneliness is well shown in this free style poem. The format speaks of the confused consciousness and the struggle to get back to life.
Fingers running through hair. This figure is well exploited to show the difference between now and then. Change happens in a second but adjusting to change takes forever.
Imagery is visual and sadness carried through clear and sharp.
It flows well.
Dragon James did the right thing at the right time.
A child's point of view of his father is well presented in this free style poem.
Dad is hero to many of us and we do take pride in emulating him for as long as possible.
Yet, time erodes that idealism somewhere along the line of life to plunge us into the depths of harsh realities.
"his dad became
a mortal man
not so smart
and not so strong
and not so perfect
anymore"
However, impressions made at a tender age last longer than we expect and Dragon James is no exception to that observation. Now he has to wear his dad's shoes and it is only appropriate that he orders "poached eggs and corned beef hash."
That's wonderful Nick. You told a real good story that effortlessly pulled me along all the way to the end. So this is what happens at the gambling place. Good that you noticed how you have been losing money while others took advantage of your skill at throwing darts.
The wind changed the moment it dawned on you that you yourself could be the lord of the ring. Great.
"... after that night most Thursday’s ended up with me taking them on for money and me usually coming off best."
Told in a conversational style, the story gives good visuals of the bar near the Catholic club. Descriptive passages are interesting.
Shock at the unexpected death of a friend is well expressed here in this poem with mono-rhyme. No wonder that life is described as a drama and men and women, mere actors. We act our part and depart forever. Another universal truth no doubt.
However, certain kind of shocks can stun to the extent that it takes time to come over it like the death of Kim.
"Just last week we took a walk
By the beach"
and in another week she lay in a "coffin."
What can be more unbelievable?
Indeed, we should cherish friends and dear ones while we can.
Active brain that goes restless is shown here. Like a lake where the water is ever in endless gyres, her brain has thoughts that never stop rotating. Brain is an independent organ. It has a will of its own.
"I beg it to stop, but the whispers keep coming."
They can worry us to no end. Unless we either check the thinking or diverting it from one thought to another it keeps slamming back.
"The whispers
Laugh."
The torture is clear. A never ending hell. Sleep is disturbed. A frightening situation.
Free style poem appeals with its structure and descending order of the lines.
Simple cruel facts well expressed.
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