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Review Requests: OFF
1,223 Public Reviews Given
1,228 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I try to give reviews the way I prefer to receive them. Honesty, thoughts for improvement, and identifying strengths are aspects that I prefer from others, so I give these things in return.
I'm good at...
I can pretty much review anything, whether poetry or short stories. My favorite genres to read are horror and the odder side of fiction, but I am open to reading other genres. If I do review a genre that is not one I particularly enjoy reading, then I am most likely going to review it based on the structure, rather than the content.
Favorite Genres
I tend to gravitate toward writings in the dark genres. With short stories and novels, horror is my favorite. With poetry, I prefer writings that display raw emotions. If your writing tackles a subject that people find offensive, I might like it.
Least Favorite Genres
Christian literature, Western, and Children's. I will NOT read or review anything that consists of XGC material between minors and adults or encourages abuse as acceptable behaviors.
Favorite Item Types
Dark poetry, horror, emotional, autobiographical, erotica, psychology
Least Favorite Item Types
Horror is one of my favorites to read and write. Also, poetry that tackles intense subject matter interests me.
I will not review...
I WILL NOT review anything that encourages abuse as acceptable behavior or includes XGC material between a minor and adult. All review requests asking me to read whole novels or later chapters will be rejected. The reason being is that I can not give a fair review of chapter 3 when I have not read the chapters before that and, the time allowance when requests for reviews are made does not allow for enough time to read a whole novel.
Public Reviews
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Review of FEMA Blues  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
** Image ID #1727505 Unavailable **

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


I see that you have a WdC anniversary coming up this month. Happy early anniversary! I enjoyed my last visit in your port, so thought I would visit again.

This poem caught my eye, because I happen to live relatively close to where Katrina hit. Well, Texas, the next state over, but still close enough. Many of the displaced people were taken in here and sheltered and a large majority actually decided to stay here instead of returning.

For the most part, you were consistent with the set rhyme that you seem to have chosen for the writing. Reading your other stuff, I have a feeling you have an Irish accent, so maybe with your accent it may rhyme. For me "soothsayer" and "there" do not rhyme.

Imagery such as "media sharpens their knives" is a nice addition to the poem, because it enhances the sarcastic nature of the writing. Other than that, you use mostly blunt imagery throughout. It works though for what you seem to be trying to project.

I didn't live in Louisiana when Katrina hit, so I don't know what the individual experienced. What I do know is that near by states did jump in and help. Texas spent a lot of money helping those in need. Then we helped transport them here and housed them with full emergency food and medical benefits. Also, a lot of my friends volunteered weeks of their time to go there and help with clean-up. So, I am not quite sure if your assessment is accurate. Though, I can say, it is definitely accurate to how the recent flooding is being treated. Even worse,it is getting very little news coverage.

Thanks for allowing me to read your writing. Remember, this is the opinions of one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to take. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing were constructive.


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Review of Twins Piqued  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
** Image ID #1727505 Unavailable **

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Happy WdC anniversary! Thank you for all you do for the online community here and your ten years of contributions. It is people like yourself that make this place the amazing place it is.

I think you did pretty good with this considering the limitations of only dialogue from the prompt. It was easy to follow and flowed without major issues that distract from the content. Overall it is a well told story.

The only issue I find is that it is not exactly an original concept, but what really is these days. We are all borrowing concepts to some degree from the past while attempting to evolve them into something better. Though, The twin trading places and hooking up with their siblings mate has been done a little too much. Still, you handled the prompt very well.

Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of only one person. It is up to you, the writer to determine which advice to take.












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Review of Trayvon Martin  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1727505 Unavailable **

*Flowerw* This is a review from "Invalid Item"  *Flowerw*


This was a powerful piece of writing. Thanks for sharing it with us. There is a terrible injustice in our system that creates an inequality according to ones skin pigment. At the time this crime occurred, my daughter was the same age. Thinking this could be her fate, is haunting.

As you project in the poem with the first stanza, profiling on skin color is way too common. The media is very biassed in such situations and encourages this to continue. Then of course as you express in the second stanza, those involved with the crimes committed against this young boy walk away free.

I tend to see things from all sides, supporting the blue, but I also see the injustice in reference to skin pigment stereotyping. As you tell us in the last stanza, unless we can see past this and look at others as just people, we will always be stuck in this cycle of racial discrimination.

When you reference chains, it seems that you are referring to all of humanity being chained. If so, I would have to agree. Such perceptions based on skin pigment not only hinder those with darker skin, but also limit those who do not face the discrimination. When we limit ourselves in bias, we limit our own growth.

This was a great read. Thanks for sharing your writing.


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Review of In-Between Time  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1727505 Unavailable **

*Flowerw* This is a review from "Invalid Item"  *Flowerw*


While browsing through your port I was drawn to the folder that contained this poem because I have this in common with you. Dealing with the processes associated with cancer is difficult for those who love them.

You do well expressing the emotions in writing associated with dealing with a loved one in this situation. That "calm yet manic" feeling I know all too well. It is the true emotions coming to the surface while trying to maintain the mask of being strong because I have to for the person, but yet screaming inside.

Then you mention those in between times of not knowing somehow being comforting. I think this is because temporarily we can pretend there is more hope than there may be. That waiting for results is the hardest, yet it can be a time of rest because we can escape the reality of the severity of the issue for just a bit.

This is a sad reality, but a good read. This had to be difficult to write. Thanks for sharing a piece of your soul with us in your writing.


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Review of BLUE BOOKCASE  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1727505 Unavailable **

*Flowerw* This is a review from "Invalid Item"  *Flowerw*


This was a wonderful tribute to what seems like an amazing human being. There are so many elements of this story that can be symbolic of other things.

It is apparent that your granduncle cared about your education, because he left an inheritance for this purpose. Though, the bookshelf also represents something powerful in reference to your education as well. In a way defending your creativity with colors of the case he was encouraging your uniqueness and creativity, which I imagine has contributed to your success in whatever career you have chosen. Then of course, we know you are a writer, so that book case could symbolize something greater in reference to that.

I know that the main theme of this was to not fear death and about the power of God, but the hidden meanings were very powerful as well.

This was a great read. It is wonderful that you had such an inspirational man in your life. Thank you for sharing your writing with us!


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Review of Escape  
Review by Warped Sanity
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1727505 Unavailable **

*Flowerw* This is a review from "Invalid Item"  *Flowerw*


The punchline really caught me off guard with this story. My heart was racing for this poor kid running from that man!

The imagery you created in the writing was dreary and fear ridden. I particularly like how you used the perceptions of the black cat. That was a very creative idea.

You did an excellent job using the scenery to add to the fear factor. The kid running through wheat stalks under the full moon brings scary images too mind. Then of course he can't escape being known, because of the sound of the stalks breaking by the weight of his feet.

I was rooting for this poor kid hoping that he would escape whoever was chasing him, even though I know that typically it would not be horror if he was not eventually caught.

There is a sense of anticipation creative with the unknown "there". All sorts of possibilities of what place this kid was running from raced through my mind. Then of course I had to shake my head at the ending. Funny. Very Funny. *Bigsmile*

Great story! I enjoyed the read. Thanks for sharing your writing. Oh and the 666 word count was nice touch.



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Review of EFFECTIVE WRITING  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1727505 Unavailable **

*Flowerw* This is a review from "Invalid Item"  *Flowerw*


It is always a treat when experienced published writers share their knowledge openly here. This informative write has some important teachings for amateur writers like myself. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience with the members of WdC.

As you point out, word usage is extremely important. Sometimes when people use larger words that the majority among the masses have to use a dictionary to understand the meaning of, they are likely to skip over the reading. Like you say, it may be the deciding point on whether it is accepted by the public or now.

I particularly like your explanation on the difference between journalistic writing and creative writing; applying strictly facts to one and the senses to the other. Sometimes people here seem to take the journalistic approach while forgetting the importance of showing not telling in creative writing.

Your points on criticism are expressed well here and true. Degrading another' art because you do not agree with the content is not productive and does not serve a constructive purpose.

Thank you for sharing you for sharing this. It was an informative read.





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Review of Ripe Oblivion  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1727505 Unavailable **

*Flowerw* This is a review from "Invalid Item"  *Flowerw*


Excellent use of the prompt. I saw this a while back when I entered the contest that month and I'm just getting around to responding. Sometimes I read things and plan to respond later and then forget. This was well worth the second read.

The form that you used that shapes the poem like an hourglass fits the theme. A lot of times when people try to form the poetry into images like this, line breaks distract and it is apparent they are only there to create the shape. With your poem this is not the case. From my perception, the line breaks are done perfectly.

I really like the spiraling down effect in the writing that matches the form. The images you express like "cigarette curtains" and "living like a bad smell" gives images of a destructive and unhappy life style.

Sometimes the use of wings and halos and such can be very cliche and overused. You managed to use wings in a very non-cliche way.

I enjoyed reading your verse. Thanks for sharing your writing.


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Review of Tears from Heaven  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1727505 Unavailable **



This was a tear jerker. I really love the way you display both the wife and dead husbands views. Your verse invokes strong emotion and this was an excellent veterans tribute.

The poem flows beautifully without issues that trip the reader. The rhyme and meter is consistent throughout too. The repeated lines are done eloquently, enhancing the emotional impact of the poem.

The set rhyme and meter that you used throughout creates the lyrical quality. I almost want to sing your verse. I can almost see the couple grasping at that last embrace and final goodbye.

Beautifully done! Thank you for sharing your writing with me.



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Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1727505 Unavailable **

*Flowerw* This is a review from "Invalid Item"  *Flowerw*


This is written quite well with no errors that distract from the content. I found it interesting that you expressed that part of AS is misuse of words. My son has the condition and others that I have known on the high functioning end actually use more complex words in the English language more often and correctly. The reason is because many of them are more prone to reading complicated factual readings that many of us 'normal' people find boring. I often have to tell my son to dumb things down for me, because it is easier than grabbing a dictionary to figure out what he is telling me. Though, I am sure that everyone holds unique characteristics in reference to the condition.

I enjoyed the comedy aspect with misunderstanding what your uncle was saying. Some of these conditions can be misheard in in hilarious ways. My son likes to call his condition ass burgers, like you express in the story and he laughs about it. If you think about it. It is not a ridiculous name to give the condition. Luckily the name no longer exists and it is all ASD now according to the American Psychological Association.

This was a comical read. I've enjoyed the read. Thanks for sharing your writing.



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Review of Razor-blade  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
** Image ID #1727505 Unavailable **

*Flowerw* This is a review from "Invalid Item"  *Flowerw*


This invoked disturbing emotions in me as I read, which means you did excellent in this prose. The title grabbed me, because it denoted to possibility that the writing would have strong emotional content. Then as I read the writing, the content matched the feelings that arise from reading the title.

The use of repeated lines "razor blade" is effective in enhancing the impact of the poem without seeming monotonous. With the preceding lines being strengthened with that repeated lines, I get a cringed feeling and goosebumps form.

The imagery you use is my favorite aspect of this writing. You grab me in the beginning with the refection of the sun in the razor. My favorite metaphor is, "Their breath is rust on your spine." I love this phrase! So many meanings come to mind. For me it would resemble teachings that rust us, tarnishing our core, damaging us.

I was drawn into reading this more than once and not just to try and analyze it for error. I wanted to absorb the words you used more because I was truly moved in dark ways by this writing.

Thank you for sharing your writing. This was an excellent read.


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Review of Gift for Natalie  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1727505 Unavailable **

*Flowerw* This is a review from "Invalid Item"  *Flowerw*


Writing like this where you dive into the mind of a psychopath are my favorite writings from you. Yes, I have read them all over the course of first contacting you a while back via a review you gave of my writing. I figure it's about time I respond to one of them.

You are adept in the ability of displaying the thought process of someone that is psychopathic. If I didn't know you better from your other writings, blogs, and conversations, I might think that you understand because you are one *BigSmile*.

Paul is every woman's nightmare. If this had not been labeled as horror in the genre, I might of thought this was a romantic writing. You display all the elements of a man in love and the thoughts of one who is preparing to celebrate his tenth wedding anniversary with the woman he loves dearly. Then of course the punchline shows us that it was all a story in his head and was not real.

What I enjoy about this story and others I have read is that I never know how it is going to end. There is nothing more disappointing then realizing the conclusion midway to find out at the end that assumptions were correct. Of course I realized the man was not right in the head, but I didn't know how it would end for either of the characters.

Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. I've enjoyed the read.



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Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
** Image ID #1727505 Unavailable **


*Flowerw* This is a review from "Invalid Item"  *Flowerw*


This gave me a chuckle! I enjoyed this story. You took a common issue that arises with new married couples and turned it into a humorous story.

The story flows really well without any issues that distract from the plot. Even after looking over it a second time, I could not find anything to evaluate as an error.

I think humor is one of the most difficult writings to accomplish effectively. This told really well and I love the punchline. I could see this being told as a joke at parties.

Thank you for sharing your writing and making me smile from ear to ear. This was a nice little treasure to start my day with.
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Review of Dirt  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
** Image ID #1727505 Unavailable **


*Flowerw* This is a review from "Invalid Item"  *Flowerw*


While searching for writings by new authors on the site I ran across this poem. The title of the poem grabbed me, because I felt that it may contain something deeper in thought rather than literal and I was correct. It is apparent that dirt represents a larger concept which is your homeland and the emotions affiliated with that land.

It appears that this is a free verse poem. Since free verse poetry does not have to rhyme, line breaks and analogy is if a higher importance. Line breaks are done well, but the metaphors and word usage in the writing could use a lot of editing.

It seems that you are maybe attempting to create two meanings in the poem, where dirt represents earth, but also how lacking in prosperity the people are. The writing is more matter of fact, rather than poetic. Maybe consider thinking of some other metaphors to use in reference to the forgotten prosperous memories.

Overall, I do like the thoughts presented in the writing. As you express in the description, this was written quickly and is just a rough draft. With some editing this could be a great free verse poem.

Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to take. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.


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Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
** Image ID #1727505 Unavailable **


*Flowerw* This is a review from "Invalid Item"  *Flowerw*


While looking at writings by new members I ran across your little treasure. It seems that this old face getting on a prison bus stained your mind. It would be interesting to know this mans crime.

For me this seems more like a prose than a poem, because there are too many week words and the lines are simply too long. It is as if you are telling a story, but there are no poetic elements used.

I understand that this is a freestyle poem, but even free verse has structure. Unlike formed poetry with free verse the structure is a self created structure by the author.

Also, I think that due to the way that you formed the writing, the addition of punctuation would work better.

Also there is a lot of telling instead of showing through metaphor or other poetic devices. Maybe analyze the line in the writing to come up with some other ways of describing the scene.


Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. Remember, this is the opinion of one person. It is up to you, the writer, to determine which advice to take. Hopefully my thoughts on your writing have been helpful.


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Review of The Ice Pick  
Review by Warped Sanity
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
This image is on 'share' for reviewers to use


first off, my apologies for the first incomplete review. I accidentally clicked on "rate/review" instead of "open in review tool".

This is an interesting concept for a short story. Though there is a bit of an issue with too much telling rather than showing, especially at the end. Maybe consider revising by lengthening the story with the addition of actions that show the emotions and thoughts of the characters. Otherwise it is really difficult for the reader to get absorbed into your story.

Also it might be just a personal preference, but stories written in the present tense in this way kind of feels like I'm just stepping back and watching particular actions take place, rather than feeling that I am connected to the story. I hope this makes sense.

Overall the writing is free of grammar and spelling error. It flows relatively well without major issues that distract from the content. The story itself is a great concept and with some editing it could be a great short story.


Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. Remember this is just the opinions of one person. It is up to you, the writer, to decide which advice to take. Hopefully my thoughts have been constructive.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Warped Sanity
Rated: E | (5.0)
I encourage everyone not to use the site at all! Here is the reason. Several years ago when I was 25 I posted what I thought was good poetry, but I now know that it was bad writing. I had gotten a response from them claiming that I was one of the limited people that were chosen for their anthology. I was poor and couldn't afford the book, but I signed the stuff allowing them to use my poem. Then just four years ago, which is over ten years later, I popped on their new site and searched for my poetry that was attached to my married name back then.

Knowing what I know now I could clearly see that the poetry was badly written. What I found even more disturbing is that there was a link on the poem that read "claim this poem". So I clicked on it and claimed it as my poem with my new last name. It was as easy as that. Do not post your poetry there. If it sits long enough, someone can just decide that they want to claim it as theirs! Any publisher who claims that you have to pay them to publish your poem is a scam.
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Review by Warped Sanity
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I think this is an awesome idea to how the owners of the site just how much the site helps members!
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Review of Purple Windows  
Review by Warped Sanity
Rated: E | (3.0)


This is actually an interesting idea for a story. The idea of an anomaly being born in the future that has evolved synesthesia is very creative. I can definitely see the concept being used in a larger works.

First off, I need to tackle that first paragraph in the story. You begin the first two sentences with improper grammar. There should be a comma before "but" not a period. In addition, beginning the chapter with an action would grab the reader more than describing scenery.

You do well adding descriptions of the scenery. Though since in the end we find out that the character has a form of synesthesia, so it would make sense that the description of the environment would reflect that, especially since this is in first person. Or maybe the injection that she takes later prevents her from mixing senses?

Also you explain that the trees might be an annoyance to some people. This confused me a bit. Are you insinuating that in the future people would be annoyed by trees?

There are some interesting concepts that are applied in this chapter. I think the seal that the grandmother put on the envelop is intriguing. I am curious to what secrets are contained. Some of the futuristic aspects that are interesting like the teleportation and the conflicted feelings among the masses about it.

You did add some hint of the plot in order to peek interest in the reader, such as it being known that there have been some horrific murders. This tells me that possibly synesthesia will play a huge role in uncovering the mystery of why and how these things are happening.

Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to read your writing. Remember that this is the opinions of one person. It is up to you, the writer, to choose which advice to take. Most importantly, keep writing.






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Review by Warped Sanity
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
An image donated by [Link To User legerdemain] for use with Anniversary Reviews.


Thank you so much for creating such an awesome community where writers can learn and unite together to hone in on our skills. I am truly happy that I happened on this site on accident a few years ago.


I enjoyed those "free" resources for quite some time and I agree that the site offers plenty of free resources for those who choose not to upgrade for whatever reason. This site probably offers more free resources than most writing sites. Then of course those options that cost money are well worth the membership fees.

I would like to add that some options that do cost, serve an important purpose. If objects such as ribbons were free then people would give them out too easily. By them having a price tag, members are more selective. This way writings that get recognition truly deserve it.

The gps that are earned through reviews is a brilliant concept, because it encourages the cycle of reading and reviewing on the site. It also encourages the growth of the members in their own writing skills. When we read others and critique our own writing improves, which enriches the site.


As a member, I'm impressed with the design of this site. Everything from the way the portals are set up, reviewing system, awards, to even the content rating system is set up quite brilliantly. The options only available to those who pay for memberships, I am happy to pay for.

Again, thank you for creating such an amazing writing community!




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Review of Whisper  
Review by Warped Sanity
Rated: E | (5.0)
An image donated by [Link To User legerdemain] for use with Anniversary Reviews.


Happy WDC Birthday! Thank you for your contribution in making this a wonderful community.

This was a great use of the contest prompt. Like the other writings I've read by you, your gift for spinning a tale with interesting characters is apparent. While reading this, it seemed that I was reading about the thief that is in your novel The Last Wizard. The main character in this short story does seem to have her spunk and need for revenge. Then of course the gift for picking locks and the death of her family are another similarity.

The story is well rounded with the beginning hinting that more is to come that evening with the inclusion of the prompt phrase. Then you you repeat the phrase at the end, expanding on the same concept now that we know what those evening plans were.

You have effectively created a strong female character in this writing, which there needs to be more of in literature. She has all the components of feminine strength. She's intelligent, confident, and definitely a force to be reckoned with.

Her strength is shown when without fear she tells the magistrate that she is truly a hero. Then of course, this is just a well thought out part of her plan. All along she's been planning on that evening, where she would pick the lock and continue her revenge.

You did well adding the character development into the visual descriptions of the scenery. Using her optimism about her restraints as a way to do this in the beginning is quite brilliant.

The story flowed well, without too much fluff that is unneeded. The only issues I found were in paragraph four. You accidentally put "she" rather than me. Other than that, this is well edited.


This was a great read. Thanks for allowing me to read your writing and for your contribution to WDC.


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Review by Warped Sanity
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
An image donated by [Link To User legerdemain] for use with Anniversary Reviews.

Happy WDC Birthday! Thank you for being a part of the wonderful community and contributing to its success.

You seem to have a gift for portraying imagery in the written word. I've read several writings in your port the past couple of days and I'm impressed at your ability to spin a tale, rather it be erotica or of a phantom like this story. This story in particular deserves the win that it received in the contest. I was enthralled from the beginning to the end.

Like all the stories I have read so far, this one flows easily without errors that distract. It seems that you are good at editing or you just simply know what not to include, because as I read it, there are not any parts that I want to dismiss. As I'm reading I am consumed in the story, wanting to absorb all of its contests.

I found it interesting that with his increased interest she became more touchable. The relationship that develops during that time is very sweet. I found myself feeling sad for her, because he would soon be taking that away from her.

The character development that you create from the relationship between the two characters is done well. I really get a sense of the personalities of the characters through that relationship. Then of course, the connection you show between the characters makes it more personal for the reader when she snaps her own neck at the end.

Beautifully done. This was a worthy read. Thank you for sharing your writing on WDC.




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Review of Crazy  
Review by Warped Sanity
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
An image donated by [Link To User legerdemain] for use with Anniversary Reviews.


Happy WDC Birthday! Thank you for all the time you contribute to this site. It is members like yourself that enrich this site.

Out of all your stories offered I chose this one because of the title. Some of the best stories come from characters that are crazy, even the best romances.

Using mostly just dialogue you affectingly draw the reader in to the story. A lot of these short shot writes leave the reader feeling cheated because they are only getting a glimpse at a larger story. Yours doesn't. It feels complete.

Poor Martin. He's believing that he is arguing with and seeing people that are not really there. Yet, they are just con artists.

Was I supposed to laugh at the punchline? I did, but I usually laugh at inappropriate times. Or maybe it is because I could relate when one of the characters said, "I just visualize Howard here as my ex husband.”

This was done quite brilliantly. The only issue I saw was that you forgot a quotation mark toward the end, but that is a quick fix.

Thank you for sharing your writing. I've enjoyed wondering around your port and reading your writing.



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Review by Warped Sanity
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Happy 13th WDC birthday! Thank you for your contribution to this site. It is people like you that make this place a productive and positive writing environment.

While digging though your port the title of this piece intrigued me. At first I thought it was going to be horror until I read the genre. I was little disappointed at first that it wasn't horror, but after reading it I was pleasantly surprised. It does contain that unique oddness that I appreciate. It kind of had a Douglas Adams feel to it.

Your vision of the tight spaced and dark future is quite interesting. In this congested future, I get a feeling that living is quite costly. Even a little light requires overtime at work.

The description of the scenery is done quite well for a short story. I almost feel suffocated thinking of the tight living space. Aspects like the Viscoelastic pillow were a nice touch to give the writing a futuristic feel.

The imagery created to explain movements of characters is done well. descriptions such as "like a startled house cat" gives the reader vivid images of being startled.

You create anticipation and curiosity when you give hints of there being something under the kids bed that ate his light. Midway through I was wondering if it was just the kids overactive imagination. Then of course the punchline is that the creature that ate hi light apparently eat all the light, even the stars.

I really enjoyed this story and I look forward to reading more of your writing. Thanks for sharing it with the WDC community.


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Review of The Fence  
Review by Warped Sanity
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Happy WDC birthday! Thank you for your contribution to this wonderful writing community.

I really enjoyed the imagery you present in this writing. When you describe the physical appearance of the woman, images of a beautiful dark skinned girl come to mind. She does seem truly magical in her beauty.

The symbols in the writing such as the fence, make a powerful statement about the walls that separate us by skin pigment. Then with his toy shovel he tries to destroy that barrier. I find it interesting that you also later realized that this fence also harmed you as well.

There are a few issues with this, but they can be easily corrected. For one you need to add some space between paragraphs so that it is easier on the readers eyes. Without those spaces I kept losing my place, which interrupted the flow of the story. The other issue is in the tense. You begin in past tense and then change to present tense. Maybe consider making it consistent throughout.

Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. Remember, this is just the opinions of one person. It is up to you, the writer, to decide which advice to take. Most importantly keep writing!


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