*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/webwitch/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/21
Review Requests: OFF
9,373 Public Reviews Given
9,996 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 17 18 19 20 -21- 22 23 24 25 26 ... Next
501
501
Review of In Memoriam  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
my review sig

"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP
Hello there, Writer_Mike
This is a Simply Positive Review! *Pencil*


*CandleR* I wanted to find a way to thank you for the lovely 2-Words MB you sent to me, today, and to help you celebrate WDC's 17th birthday, so I came over to take a look in your portfolio. The title of course, grabbed my attention, and the brief description clinched it.


*Cry* These events marked such a tragic time in NASA history. I found it odd that these accidents happened within that certain time frame, late January-early-February. I actually saw the Challenger being piggy-backed to Houston. It was so amazing to look up to the sky and see that Shuttle on top of a 747 jetliner. That was following the last trip of the space shuttle before the fatal lift-off happened. A school teacher was one of the crew. My heart ached watching that on television and then realizing something bad happened.


*SwordR* Okay, now that you've got me thinking of how sad those time were for our country, then I was reminded of the brief description whereby you stated it was written for a 100 words, no repeats, challenge. I find this remarkable! I was poring through it to see if I could find a repeated word, but I couldn't, so if it's there, it's well hidden. But the enormity of this small item is what really stands out. This is a tribute to NASA's lost crew personal, and it read well, with respect and not just words tossed without true feelings. I could feel the passion within those hundred words. That is not an easy thing to do with this serious subject matter, but you did it handily.

*Scholar* I find no errors in the writing. I see respect and admiration -- I like that! This was a succinct story, but there is so much about it that are review worthy.

Excellent work! *Quill*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
502
502
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
my review sig

"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, Bikerider
This is a Simply positive Review! *BowG*

I am also reviewing your item because it popped up on the Random Review generator.

*Vignette4* This little vignette touched my heart. It gives a reader a view into the terrible tragedies and hardships of war. This was placed during WW2, and at a time when fathers came to America to make enough money to transport their families over to offer them a better life. The families left behind were left many times in war torn nations, lack of money for food. So much suffering left behind.

*ButtonForward* The guilt of Severino was grave. He received a letter from the wife he left behind describing her institutionalization due to a house fire where her children were sleeping. She claimed it was accidental, but authorities figured she wanted them dying in their sleep so as to not face any more pain or suffering. Very sad, indeed. He of course, went on with a new life outside his marital life.

Guilt is quite a nagging punishment that may torture a mind forever.


Observation

"As he sits in his grocery store on a cold, winter night, he is plagued by the sounds of the children he heard crying for their father's when he boarded the train for war year's ago." crying for their "fathers" plural not possessive.

*CheckO* This was quite a detailed vignette painting a complete picture of two different worlds as far as state of mind is concerned for Severino. He had a family that was left in a war torn country, and a business and mistress in his new world, where life is less harsh. His guilt over abandoning his family will haunt him forever.

Good work! *Sword2L*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
503
503
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
My new SP  reviewing sig

Hello there, BIG BAD WOLF is hopping

This is a Simply Positive Review! *Vine2*


I am also reviewing your item because she recently reviewed one of mine. Thank you for that, by the way. *Smile*

*Delight* I have to say I am very impressed with this story-poem. I love how you incorporate the seven deadly sins and how you turn them into outlaws doing their evil deeds. You bring a Western theme into a Biblical proportion of good versus evil.

*Quill* Your tercet is well constructed, free verse ballad, which has no need for rhyme because the rhythm is spot on. You painted me a picture of the wild West, the good and bad, and how one outlaw found a different path in his life. He met an "angel" had a couple children with her. There was a light that fell upon the outlaw, Wrath, who decided to change his ways and become a better man, husband and father, all because Angel loved him and showed him the path toward the light.


*Target2* This was a clever part indeed, for I saw that from one tercet to the next the "W" was dropped from his name. He was no longer the outlaw, he was the better man, Rath. Loved the symbolism, here.

*Tools* I have spent many moments in your Western NY berry garden over at the newsfeed I have not really gotten to know the BBW, writer of poetry -- and not just common, rhyme poetry, but extremely involved story-telling poetry that keeps the reader's attention and has a fine moral to it. The ending awakens the reader's senses.


*Lightning* Rath, not wanting to return to his former life as a rider with the other six, would now avenge the deaths of his wife and children ... probably the worst of the Deadly Sins to be unleashed, for he was not good enough for heaven and too good for hell.

I loved the ballad as written, it's smooth, rich, and filled with vivid imagery that left a lasting impression on me. I see no errors or bumps in the read. *Binoculars*


C'est parfait! *Paw*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
504
504
Review of Come Back To Me  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
my review sig

"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Hello there, very thankful
This is a Simply Positive Review! *Pen*


I am also reviewing your item because it popped up on the Random Review generator.

*Rabbit2* I enjoyed the sensuality of your poem. Starting with the satin sheets -- very erotic backdrop. *Wink*

*Busy* This appears to be a free verse poem, which I am fond of, since poetry that is structured has never really been my forte. Well constructed free verse, however, does have beauty with certain poetic devices in use. I enjoy finding a smooth rhythm within free verse poetry. Who needs rhyme with that?


Observations:

"I was lying here in a bed with satin sheets,
and all alone in here." Repeat of the word here within consecutive lines.

TRY:I was lying on my satin sheets
and all alone,in bed


Gets rid of both of the common repeated word "here" and tightens it up a little.

This is merely my opinion, in an area that made me pause a little. I enjoyed the rest of the poem and the wishing and hoping for the man's return to her bed and arms again.

Well done! *BurstY*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
505
505
Review of Haiku 2017 #47  
In affiliation with The Witch's House  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello there, Tinker
This is a
GROUP
The Witch's House  (13+)
Webbie's Home for Witchy MBs and the Bank for TheWitch's Garden!
#444444 by Ԝ€ß☆ԜiʈCH
Review.

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest. Thank you for entering! *Smile*

I love the scent of lavender. I grow it in my garden. Also, the oil of the plant does linger on the fingers, when touched. It makes the scent hit my olfactory senses right at this moment just reading the lines.

You wove the nature them well, into the Haiku.

One place that made me pause was this line:
"Gram smiles at me"

Four syllables rather than the traditional five for the last line of a Haiku. All that it needed was "Grammy" rather than "Gram" to hit the mark.

Otherwise, very scent-sense oriented with the lavender.*Bigsmile*

Well done, and good luck with the contest. *Smile*

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*
506
506
In affiliation with The Witch's House  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello there, catdok
This is a "The Witch's House review! *Witchlegs1*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge for "The Bard's Hall Contest Thank you for entering!

Your Haiku had all the components needed as far as syllable count, 5-7-5 and its theme that includes nature. The sun and the fog play handily into this poem.

I love the analogy of the fogginess, such as the mind trying to clear a path to be able to write a poem. Very clever. One is actually walking in the thick fog until the sun breaks through, thus allowing the creativity to flow.

Well done, and good luck with the contest!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*
507
507
Review of My City of Dreams  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Image Witch's Garden
I am The Ice Witch of the White Walkers -- A "The Witch's House Team! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC -- "Game of Thrones



What brought me to your item?
I'm in the Throes of the Game of Thrones, and this is war! *Laugh*
Happy birthday!

What Did I Enjoy?

I did read a great deal of wisdom within these lines you penned.

What stuck the Hook into my Icy Flesh?
I also despise the loss of reason when people are just following the crowd, thinking they are safe within the numbers of those thinking the same, voting the same, and yet feeling they still have freedom? No, freedom comes at a price, and the price may be that of going against the grain to speak of logical things to be put aside as a result of not thinking it through.

What made me pause and say Huh?

Okay, there was a couplet form set up, here, which is fine in itself. However, the need to rhyme each ending line tends to get monotonous and can start to sound a little forced to yield that word which will rhyme with the line above it. I found this poem had a couple spots that made me feel like that was the case.

Also, a couple lines lost their rhythm, slowing my reading down and making me pause to go back and reread.

What could have Added to my reading pleasure?
Just a little tweaking of things mentioned above. However, the message was a potent one.

Parting thoughts ...
You did a wonderful job painting the picture of the crumbling of a beautiful city around you. Individuals must start thinking that way first, and not just accept thoughts of others, especially those in power, to be the right way of thinking.

Keep on writing from the heart! *Smile*

Until next time--write on!



Regards,
WebWitch ... Ice Witch of the White Walkers *Witch*














*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
508
508
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Image Witch's Garden
I am The Ice Witch of the White Walkers -- A "The Witch's House Team! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC -- "Game of Thrones



What brought me to your item?
I'm in the Throes of the Game of Thrones, and this is war! *Laugh*
Your item popped-up on the Random Review generator.

What Did I Enjoy?
I enjoy free verse poems and am familiar with your works.

What stuck the Hook into my Icy Flesh?
You really hit on something very true, we do prefer the prettier, less aggressive birds over the common House Sparrow. Lately, a catbird has taken up residency in the neighborhood, and its quite territorial. We've had less sparrows and blackbirds. Thus, I cannot complain. I can't image me out there with a BB gun ... the neighbor who works for the wildlife office of whatever, would go into shock over something like that. Just when you think you live deep enough in wooded areas, yet close to town, well that's another story and involves a raccoon.*Smirk*

What made me pause and say Huh?

Now, your poem pulled me right into the scene. I could see a mother telling her son to only shoot at the sparrows. I could see that son growing up and hearing another mother tell her son the same thing. It shows how traditional thoughts on the subject of sparrows, pretty much hasn't changed in sixty years.

What could have Added to my reading pleasure?
I think the ending is a real jaw dropper. Such a poignant way of putting it. Love your choice of words but hate that there are children starving in third world nations. I thought you were about to suggest sending them our sparrows, but I thought without my heart at first, No, your answer showed just how things that really don't matter take precedence here.

Parting thoughts ...

Your poem will touch readers hearts. It did mine. *Bird*

Until next time--write on!



Regards,
WebWitch ... Ice Witch of the White Walkers *Witch*














*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
509
509
Review of New Year Dreaming  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Image Witch's Garden
I am The Ice Witch of the White Walkers -- A "The Witch's House Team! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC -- "Game of Thrones



What brought me to your item?
I'm in the Throes of the Game of Thrones, and this is war! *Laugh*


What Did I Enjoy?
This was simply beautiful to visualize. I traveled alongside of you within my mind's eye.

What stuck the Hook into my Icy Flesh?
I think the as writers, we do travel to all those places within our minds and spirits. They are places some or most of us will never see in person, but have those dreams that someday it will become possible.

What made me pause and say Huh?
I think of how amazing it would be to visit the Dali Lama, and feel such spirituality that it must be simply overwhelming to the senses.

What could have Added to my reading pleasure?
On the whole, the poem flowed well, had the AA, BB rhyme scheme. I'm not much of a rhyming poem enthusiast, as so many I read seem to have one or more forced lines in order to match up with its rhyme. I didn't see such an obvious point as discussed in your lines. They wove together without that feeling of forced to rhyme. Thus, although I don't care much for what is considered traditional rhyme, being a free verse spirit, person, I did enjoy yours.

Parting thoughts ...

I think you actually managed to make my brain go on vacation. I felt more relaxed after reading your poem, and the pictures you painted will last in my spirit, long after I leave this page. Thank you for that.

Good job! *Grasshopper*

Until next time--write on!



Regards,
WebWitch ... Ice Witch of the White Walkers *Witch*














*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
510
510
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Image Witch's Garden
I am The Ice Witch of the White Walkers -- A "The Witch's House Team! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC -- "Game of Thrones



What brought me to your item?
I'm in the Throes of the Game of Thrones, and this is war! *Laugh*
Your item popped-up on the Random Review generator. Welcome to WDC! *BookStack2*

What Did I Enjoy?
I guess I am a victim of the modern coffee house establishments. And you are correct in saying that they have become more of a hub of individuals doing their own thing on their electronic devices.

What stuck the Hook into my Icy Flesh?
I thought about the early days, 300 hundred years ago, when the Georgian Coffeehouse drew in folks for deep if not heated political discussions. And henceforth was banned by Charles II. However, people will not be separated from their love of social intermingling and coffee. Thus the European coffeehouses began to sprout up in the 19th century, but with a twist. Artists and writers would gather and discuss their works, invite comments and not only was it educational it was enjoyable to those folks. The coffee and artistic additions made it a much desired forum for thought.

What made me pause and say Huh?
You offer much food for thought and coffee to go along with it. I wanted to know more. I know we have such a coffee in my part of New England, that does have a small library of local poets and writers creations, as well as more interaction with the folks in a more lighthearted way. Scones and coffee with smiles and books -- what could be better?

What could have Added to my reading pleasure?
I think you covered the imagery I needed to compare and contrast today's coffeehouses with those from centuries ago.

Parting thoughts ...
You are exactly right, we do need more of that kind of interaction over our coffee. After all, it should be a relaxing time in our day, not a working time fit into a coffee break. Then it's just coffee at work. Might as well drive through and bring it back to your desk. Coffee break or no break? I'll take the one with artistic atmosphere over the clanging of keys.

Well done! *Coffee*

Until next time--write on!



Regards,
WebWitch ... Ice Witch of the White Walkers *Witch*














*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
511
511
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Image Witch's Garden
I am The Ice Witch of the White Walkers -- A "The Witch's House Team! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC -- "Game of Thrones



What brought me to your item?
I'm in the Throes of the Game of Thrones, and this is war! *Laugh*
Your item popped up on the Random Review generator.

What Did I Enjoy?
I enjoye seeing winter in different parts of the country, through the eyes of the one experiencing it. You make us see the grey while on the drive.

What stuck the Hook into my Icy Flesh?
I guess the smokestacks, put a darkness on the thoughts of winter-white. However, in the high desert, anything is possible. I guess the ghost-like quality of what you were describing to us really hit me hard. I think about the Vegas, area, and the many stories of paranornal from that area, notably Pahrhump. I have spent many nights listening to Art Bell, when I lived in California.

What made me pause and say Huh?

"of the overall could cover". Looks like a typo for cloud. I saw it easily due to my dyslexia. *Wink* Not a huge problem --quick fix.

What could have Added to my reading pleasure?
I think you brought back memories of trips I have taken East to West and back again, crossing over into Vegas, and parts North of that, also. Henderson, I believe is where we went one of those exciting "Dam Tours." The kids were young and enjoyed it. However, it rained for days during our mini vacation. In the desert! Not fair. *Laugh*

Parting thoughts ...
This was fine description of winter in the Vegas area. It also had a haunting feeling to it, albeit it was quite subtle. Nevertheless, I hooked right into that angle.

Good job!

Until next time--write on!



Regards,
WebWitch ... Ice Witch of the White Walkers *Witch*














*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
512
512
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Image Witch's Garden
I am The Ice Witch of the White Walkers -- A "The Witch's House Team! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC -- "Game of Thrones



What brought me to your item?
I'm in the Throes of the Game of Thrones, and this is war! *Laugh*
This item popped-up on the Random Review generator.


What Did I Enjoy?
I knew this was going to be charming, simply charming, so I decided to give it a read.

What stuck the Hook into my Icy Flesh?
Yes, it was sweet and charming. It made me want to bake cookies while sipping a deep, rich, red wine. The blend of the two is very charming. And what's not to like about monkeys?

What made me pause and say Huh?
Well, the monkey sleeping in his bed was a little weird, but otherwise, quite charming if that's one's sort of thing. After all, who am I to judge? I'll have a another sip of wine -- thank you.

What could have Added to my reading pleasure?
Well, I think that he did give people jobs. So that's a good thing, right? Somebody gets a poopy job and can feed his family. It's a charming idea, in fact!

Parting thoughts ...
I needed this read right now. Your story was funny, brought me back to that particular tie in his-story. I always had a less than a charming feeling about the whole thing. And how he escaped conviction on this wine, boys, bed and cookies, not to mention petting his monkey, well is beyond my understanding. But hey, if twelve people found it so innocent and charming, I guess there must have been something to all that.

Your dialogue was smooth, it fit so well with his actually speech, I laughed myself silly. The lawyer was very patient and took his defense of Michael, seriously. Well, at least while in the public eye. I can't help but wonder how he felt while trying to fall asleep at night -- with or without a monkey in his bed, I fear he had one on his back.

I know many are fans of the deceased Pop star. I was not one of them.

Good work! *Horseshoe*

Until next time--write on!



Regards,
WebWitch ... Ice Witch of the White Walkers *Witch*














*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
513
513
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Image Witch's Garden
I am The Ice Witch of the White Walkers -- A "The Witch's House Team! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC -- "Game of Thrones



What brought me to your item?
I'm in the Throes of the Game of Thrones, and this is war! *Laugh*
Your item popped-up on the Random Review generator.

What Did I Enjoy?
Your title grabbed my interest. I wanted to see for myself those moments that led to this poem.

What stuck the Hook into my Icy Flesh?
I loved the peek into this couple's different moments of life. There's not a whole lot of describing, just pieces of life that a reader couple run with, and fill the entire picture within their mind's eye. I enjoy this way of painting a sweeping brush across the page, and yet, the reader can picture the couple, the scenes around them, and the indifference of others to catch them in a less than perfect light.

What made me pause and say Huh?

"Your hand wrapped around my hand around a birthday candle burning at both ends," I'd change the repeat of "around" and try graspingthe hand or candle, to replace one.

What could have Added to my reading pleasure?
I felt the sadness of the ending yet, I also felt the freedom of release from something that probably outlived its reasons for being, just because it had become, easy, comfortable in some way. I think all the reasons to stay together were lost amid other things going on in daily life.

Parting thoughts ...

Some lines are a little bulkier than others and could be broken apart in smaller bites to allow for a natural pause in the reading.

Otherwise, very vivid images are produced in this short prose-poem.

Well done! *CastleGr*

Until next time--write on!



Regards,
WebWitch ... Ice Witch of the White Walkers *Witch*














*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
514
514
Review of Double A to Me  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Image Witch's Garden
I am The Ice Witch of the White Walkers -- A "The Witch's House Team! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC -- "Game of Thrones



What brought me to your item?
I'm in the Throes of the Game of Thrones, and this is war! *Laugh*
Your item popped-up on the Random Review generator.

What Did I Enjoy?
When someone says they wrote an item a while back, I become curious. I want to know if they feel the same way, years later about their observations made at the time.

What stuck the Hook into my Icy Flesh?
Ahh, political opinion pieces or rather treading over that which is considered politically correct is always a dice roll, these days. *Laugh*

What made me pause and say Huh?
We need to pull up the roots of oppression, racism, and general maltreatment of those constantly oppressed. now. A tiny typo, here,. You clicked a period instead of a comma. No big deal, and easy fix that doesn't disrupt the flow of the story, because it happened near the end.

What could have Added to my reading pleasure?
Oh, mister, you hit upon everything that has bothered me for so many years. I believe in a help up not a hand out. It has become thought of as carved in stone that certain groups of people, no matter what skin color, expect to be under the government dole out of our hard earned cash, forever. No one person is owed the labor of another person, when that person is healthy enough to earn for himself. You notice, I take the old grammar rule of using "himself" rather than the politically correct, himself or herself. We are all part of mankind, after all.*RollEyes* So, good argument on your part presenting these facts.

Parting thoughts ...

You took a political issue, reasoned out your thoughts in a clear concise way, analyzed the pros and cons, and concluded your argument with conviction. And you know something? I absolutely agree!

Kudos! *Web4*

Until next time--write on!



Regards,
WebWitch ... Ice Witch of the White Walkers *Witch*














*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
515
515
Review of Promises  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Image Witch's Garden
I am The Ice Witch of the White Walkers -- A "The Witch's House Team! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC -- "Game of Thrones



What brought me to your item?
I'm in the Throes of the Game of Thrones, and this is war! *Laugh*
Your item popped up on the Random Review generator.

What Did I Enjoy?
I alway expect something special while reading your poems. And I learn of your poetic forms because you take the time to place an author's note.


What stuck the Hook into my Icy Flesh?
Tritena, with a Sestina like pattern ... Okay then, I learned something here. However, reading forward, I see there is no meter specified. Now this makes me take a great poem, that is missing that element and make me drop the rating slightly. However, in my case, I enjoy free verse, and the free verse I enjoy does not have to have a particular rhyme, but rather it is well accepted if it uses some poetic tools that one can identify with. Here, you got my attention with the sort-of refrain, which adds to the poem's beauty and impact. Lovely!

What made me pause and say Huh?
I thought about the meaning of the poem and how difficult it is to discern between true love and passion, for passion in all its glory, could fade in time and leave a couple empty of heart and spirit.

What could have Added to my reading pleasure?
You nailed it, Mr. Man.! I lie thewarning of passion, the fear the same will happen, and then the ending. It was wrapped up neatly, with class, and satisfied the reader thoroughly. I was happy the lips mentioned did not lie this time.

Parting thoughts ...

Beautiful job, Ken. I wouldn't suggest a spot to change, for you handle these pretty forms handily.

Well done! *PeacockFeather*

Until next time--write on!



Regards,
WebWitch ... Ice Witch of the White Walkers *Witch*














*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
516
516
Review of 6 years ago  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Image Witch's Garden
I am The Ice Witch of the White Walkers -- A "The Witch's House Team! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC -- "Game of Thrones



What brought me to your item?
I'm in the Throes of the Game of Thrones, and this is war! *Laugh*
Welcome to WDC, Newbie! *City*

What Did I Enjoy?
I was curious at the title, and wondered where six years in time would take me. This is of course a self-discovery, which is always a work in progress.

What stuck the Hook into my Icy Flesh?
I totally got what you were describing. Many girls grew up thinking that popularity comes with beauty and beauty guarantees love and self worth. However, they sometimes never realize, or realize years later, as they look upon decision's made, that they were not feeling a need within themselves, which is of course self-love.

What made me pause and say Huh?
Thinking that if a woman loves a man, and she gets his attention, she must therefore be worthy. So untrue, as your story poem describes. Looking in the mirror back then gave no feelings of beauty outside or in. I believe it was more of feeling used rather than loved.

What could have Added to my reading pleasure?
The lines at times seem a little disconnected. More like the conclusion of what was learned needs to be gotten out there, quickly. Unpeeling the onion of years of life takes time and precision. However, it also sufficiently outlines the story for readers so as to allow them to fully color it in. And perhaps, see some resemblance to their own lives.

Parting thoughts ...

I like that the lessons learned led to a much better outlook and feelings of self worth and beauty beyond outward appearances.

Kudos!

Until next time--write on!



Regards,
WebWitch ... Ice Witch of the White Walkers *Witch*














*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
517
517
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Image Witch's Garden
I am The Ice Witch of the White Walkers -- A "The Witch's House Team! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC -- "Game of Thrones



What brought me to your item?
I'm in the Throes of the Game of Thrones, and this is war! *Laugh*

What Did I Enjoy?

I enjoy saluting valor of those who sacrifice their time, comfort and lives for the protection and service of our country.

What stuck the Hook into my Icy Flesh?


These personal sacrifices not only affect the individual soldier's life, but also affects their families, their friends who love and admire them, and, yes even those of us who do not know them personally, because what they do is so important to our liverty.


What made me pause and say Huh?


I found a little bumpiness on the road of this poetry. Indeed it appears to be a free verse, and some feel anything goes. However, the richness of words used to weave a fine poetic free verse does give that type of poem something of a lyrical quality, that readers may notice, without use of rhyme, which at times could become boring for a reader. This is nevertheless, a lovely tribute to deserving men and women.


What could have Added to my reading pleasure?


As stated above, a few words of impact added within each verse could make a brilliant emphasis. However, the total picture painted touches the reader's heart.

Parting thoughts ...

I love the way you salute those who serve our country in order to maintain its freedom -- and ours.

Well done! *Salute*




Until next time--write on!



Regards,
WebWitch ... Ice Witch of the White Walkers *Witch*














*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
518
518
Review of Wander More  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Image Witch's Garden
I am The Ice Witch of the White Walkers -- A "The Witch's House Team! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC -- "Game of Thrones



What brought me to your item?
I'm in the Throes of the Game of Thrones, and this is war! *Laugh*

What Did I Enjoy?

I was attracted to the title, which seemed a little enticing, telling us to wander more. Perhaps there is more to make us in awe with our world. I could see where this could go, philosophical.

What stuck the Hook into my Icy Flesh?
I love the line that is used as a refrain. We are warned not to grow weary with our wonder. There are many things he have not truly see, or bothered to absorb its beauty when we looked at the things we take advantage of seeing, in everyday life.

What made me pause and say Huh?
I was curious by the think that brough my interest to this item -- the title. I do not know if this was intentional or a mistake, but your whole poem is based on wonder, and yet your title says, Wander More. Did you mean, "wonder more?" I would think so, since wonder is the main theme throughout the poem, itself.

What could have Added to my reading pleasure?


I think you make good points for us readers to stop and pay attention to those things and places around us, Always see those things as special and through fresh eyes. It can make a big difference in the outcome of not just a day, but a lifetime of days.

Parting thoughts ...

In the end, if we are to grow weary, at with these things that we take for granted each day, we will never feel that amazing warmth within, that joy, the part of us that wants to relive the excitement we felt when we first set eyes on a falling star and made a wish as a child. Look toward the sky, it changes right over our heads. Be in awe and wonderment of all the beauty that lay before us.

Lovely job, nice rhythm and a philosophical treat for the spirit.

Until next time--write on!



Regards,
WebWitch ... Ice Witch of the White Walkers *Witch*














*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
519
519
Review of The Message  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Image Witch's Garden
I am The Ice Witch of the White Walkers -- A "The Witch's House Team! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC -- "Game of Thrones



What brought me to your item?
I'm in the Throes of the Game of Thrones, and this is war! *Laugh*Your item popped-up on the random review generator.

What Did I Enjoy?

I liked the mystery you wove into this story. Strangers on a train are always good beginnings to some pretty interesting stuff, in just about any genre. So go job with the setting.


What stuck the Hook into my Icy Flesh?


The bacon and eggs over easy. *Laugh* It makes a reader hungry. I could smell the bacon cooking, so good way to make your reader a part of his everyday life. All this while that envelope with the address was bugging him relentlessly.

What made me pause and say Huh?
"At exactly 8:52 p.m. he put on his coat, locked his apartment, and headed for 167 Renoir Street. The ride on the train took 41 minutes. He walked north and found 167 Renoir Street." {c:blue{ The reader got the address on first part, no need to repeat it again. It may have been for emphasis, but if you're writing for a contest with a tight word count, you want to write tighter, too. *Smile*


What could have Added to my reading pleasure?


I had a sneaky feeling where this story was going. I know there was mystery, but then, the guy himself said he's not anyone but a plain ol' working stiff, with no secrets in his life that could lead to such a plot, involving him. And an attractive woman involved? No wonder he sweated over that envelope and finally gave in. He deep down inside craved something exciting in his life.

Parting thoughts ...

Good story, a great twisted ending for the reader's enjoyment, also.


Until next time--write on!



Regards,
WebWitch ... Ice Witch of the White Walkers *Witch*














*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
520
520
Review of The Wordsmith.  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Image Witch's Garden
I am The Ice Witch of the White Walkers -- A "The Witch's House Team! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC -- "Game of Thrones



What brought me to your item?
I'm in the Throes of the Game of Thrones, and this is war! *Laugh*
Welcome to WDC, Newbie!


What Did I Enjoy?


I enjoyed this poem on so many levels. I loved the story unfolding line after line. It made me travel to a time in the past, at a print shop.


What stuck the Hook into my Icy Flesh?

I got goose flesh picturing the wordsmith tapping out his poetry, lyrics and hyms. Such a beautiful artistic quality not only to your words, but the imagery involved.


What made me pause and say Huh?


"Were they merely sparks
or letters of the alphabet."
The repeat of "of" made this a little word heavy for the tongue. It threw this particular part off-rhythm, from my point of view, at least.

What could have Added to my reading pleasure?
This was so beautiful with the woven antiquity of how words will find their way into print, for a writer needs to write and a poet needs to publish his verses on whatever media is handy. The visual crispness you wrote into your poem is delicious!


Parting thoughts ...


Wow, I am impressed and noticed that the rating was not as good as it could be. Thus I am giving it an extra boost, because I was moved by this poem.

The modern ending pulled away the narrator and his reader from such a special visit to the word smith. It also added a surprise ending that will be remembered, long after I leave this page.

Indeed this is a poem for poets -- of all times.

Kudos!



Until next time--write on!



Regards,
WebWitch ... Ice Witch of the White Walkers *Witch*














*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
521
521
Review of Oblique  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Image Witch's Garden
I am The Ice Witch of the White Walkers -- A "The Witch's House Team! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC -- "Game of Thrones



What brought me to your item?
I'm in the Throes of the Game of Thrones, and this is war! *Laugh*I found your item on the Psychology Genre page.


What Did I Enjoy?


I enjoyed the inner thought s of a teenager, and the feelings he experienced during that volatile time of life. I could feel how emotional it had to be for him. His own words actually made it clear.


What stuck the Hook into my Icy Flesh?


I like how the adult you, has put forth this vision of your life as a youth, thus you can view the changes that aging has brought to you.

What made me pause and say Huh?


I felt the sadness and the inner loneliness this youth endured. It's a difficult time to not have a way to express the inner turmoil, to feel it won't be understood, or that makes the youth, somewhat different -- odd, in comparison to other kids his age.


What could have Added to my reading pleasure?


I see that your poetry switches from three lines to four and repeats for two more verses. It has a rhyme line in each.

My favorite rhymes were the use of the words: "Speak" and "oblique." Those words used are a cut above the usual rhyme word choices. I am not a big fan of rhyming poetry, but this wasn't over-rhyming.


Parting thoughts ...

I think your author's note at the end has beauty in its own poetic right.

Great way to end the poem!

Until next time--write on!



Regards,
WebWitch ... Ice Witch of the White Walkers *Witch*














*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
522
522
Review of Fifty  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Image Witch's Garden
I am The Ice Witch of the White Walkers -- A "The Witch's House Team! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC -- "Game of Thrones



What brought me to your item?
I'm in the Throes of the Game of Thrones, and this is war! *Laugh* I found your item on the Genealogy genre page.


What Did I Enjoy?

I loved the mood of this free verse poem. You bring your reader into the starting verse. I enjoy the description of the stars viewing your life: "My fifty turns around the sun?" That line is a potent description, weaving nature, the universe, in fact, and a calendar age, of half a century. Great opening!


What stuck the Hook into my Icy Flesh?

You take your reader on a voyage through this half a century. The mother you've only known to hsve existed for three years, as she was the mother who carried you in her womb, and had to let another mother raise you. So many emotions could be felt, right here.


What made me pause and say Huh?


The picture of her grave in the Berkshires. Found, and never known during life -- how very sad, made my eyes tear up. Yet, you made it beautiful. The Bershire;s are lovely, and a resting place such as there, would bring her spirit close. It's like God's country up there. I live in Central Mass. I certainly hope you were able to communicate some in those three years upon discovering who she was.


What could have Added to my reading pleasure?


I was pleased to know you have daughters and understand a mother's love. For it is true, your birth mother loved you more than you could ever imagine by giving you to a mother who was well equipped and prepared to raise a child. That is one of the most unselfish sacrifices a mother can make. Especially fifty years ago, when unwed mothers were not very welcomed in the community. Things have changes so much since then.


Parting thoughts ...


I loved your free verse as is. This is so personal, and you made the reader feel that deeply.

Wonderful job, and a great tribute to the mother who gave you life. *Smile*


Until next time--write on!



Regards,
WebWitch ... Ice Witch of the White Walkers *Witch*














*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
523
523
Review of Memory Fades  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Image Witch's Garden
I am The Ice Witch of the White Walkers -- A "The Witch's House Team! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC -- "Game of Thrones



What brought me to your item?
I'm in the Throes of the Game of Thrones, and this is war! *Laugh*


What Did I Enjoy?

I loved the title. It drew me in, although I didn't know what to expect when I got there.


What stuck the Hook into my Icy Flesh?


I love that this is not just a romance type of poem, but it's also spiritual. Love and romance is a beautiful thing. However, if there is no spirituality, the souls won't mesh in that perfect understanding of who the other person really is.

What made me pause and say Huh?


I thought of the philosophical aspect of this poem. Words can mean everything and also, they can mean nothing. However, not asking what one means, can leave the other out in the white snow of the heart, alone, and trying to remember when it all changed.

What could have Added to my reading pleasure?
I think I would have loved to know why he was different. However, to know that is needing words where the idea of this poem is to try to remember how easily the memory fades away from something or someone, when we do not follow through or follow the words that were said, or meant to be said.

Parting thoughts ...

This is a free verse poem, which I am very fond of. But in its succinct package, it contains lessons of a lifetime, mistakes made, losses, and unanswered questions. "Different." It is a word that will make a person see another with a new pair of eyes. It may not be explainable, but the one experiencing it judt knows something has changed, and feelings will never be the same again.

I enjoyed the words: "blizzard a white out." It shows how words fade into the whiteness and cannot be recovered within the mind, to try to find what they meant when they were said. Great brain teaser, that fired-up my synapses.

Wow! *Shock2*



Until next time--write on!



Regards,
WebWitch ... Ice Witch of the White Walkers *Witch*














*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
524
524
Review of Jealousy  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Image Witch's Garden
I am The Ice Witch of the White Walkers -- A "The Witch's House Team! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC -- "Game of Thrones



What brought me to your item?
I'm in the Throes of the Game of Thrones, and this is war! *Laugh*


What Did I Enjoy?


I liked the title and brief description. I had my head wrapped this young man working to claim his future. I just didn't know how he intended to get there, missing the galactic student's ride to school. *Ha*


What stuck the Hook into my Icy Flesh?

I see this student is serious about his future but it just seems that someone, is jealous of his potential, and does all he can to make him look like a fool. I'm thinking Jedrick's his brother?

What made me pause and say Huh?


"His mother was going [to] throw a fit when she found out, but he knew a few a promises and a hug would smooth down her temper."

What could have Added to my reading pleasure?
I think you have the beginning of a full story. However, there are so many parts that need filling in, and characters who need fleshing out. I am reading this as first draft, and that you have a full plot in your mind of what is happening to this young man, and why he has an important future.

I think as the story stands, it is more of an outline of events that will be really good to read when it all meshes together.

Parting thoughts ...

I suggest you keep working on this story. It has some very interesting potential, plus I need to know how he was to become Emperor someday. Now the reader is curious. *Bigsmile*


Until next time--write on!



Regards,
WebWitch ... Ice Witch of the White Walkers *Witch*














*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
525
525
Review of Visitation  
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Image Witch's Garden
I am The Ice Witch of the White Walkers -- A "The Witch's House Team! Welcome to the biggest Reviews' War on WDC -- "Game of Thrones



What brought me to your item?
I'm in the Throes of the Game of Thrones, and this is war! *Laugh*


What Did I Enjoy?


I enjoy mysterious visitors in the middle of the night, to get my blood flowing and curl up for a fun ride, in this Sci-Fi comedy.


What stuck the Hook into my Icy Flesh?


I enjoyed the innocuous appearance of the hound dog, barely raising an ear when the stranger knocked on the door at night. Frightful for a woman living alone with her dog, usually. Yest she waddles to the door to answer it anyway. Now I'm picturing a woman, not very fit, not very capable of protecting herself from what lurks behind the door.

What made me pause and say Huh?


"Sensing things had taken a turn for the worse, the alien turn and fled."
turned and fled.


What could have Added to my reading pleasure?


You gave the reader plenty of surprises at teh end of the story to dispell everything that was preconceived about the woman and her seemingly lazy dog. But Fido, did manage to get his treat for all the bother he had to endure. *Laugh*


Parting thoughts ...

You did a fine job setting up your reader, making her think something terrible was going to happened to the woman who waddles, and pulled a surprise ending out of the hat to make a reader both chuckle and cheer!

Good job!


Until next time--write on!



Regards,
WebWitch ... Ice Witch of the White Walkers *Witch*














*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
3,443 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 138 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/webwitch/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/21