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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/wont
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31 Public Reviews Given
32 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
My style is to try and work your style into the review. So if it's poetry, I will use poetry in the review
I'm good at...
Being honest, if you want someone to say your great, your in the wrong place
Favorite Genres
Emotional
Least Favorite Genres
Fine with all
Favorite Item Types
Poems and poetry
Least Favorite Item Types
Fine with all
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of BATTLE OF LOVE  Open in new Window.
Review by Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (1.0)
the limited vocabulary made you reuse forced words,
and with rhyming being the type of poetry to mess up seems absurd,

it’s also nothing more than a badly written and boring story
and you ruin the only chance of redemption by ryhming poorly

it feels like a child wrote this with a basic concept of language
but slow and average but only caused me anguish


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
2
2
Review of Pen  Open in new Window.
Review by Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (1.5)
this isn’t poetry.
To master poetry there are always differcences,
But you just just wrote the same words in similar sentences.

And poetry has to have a meaning,
And for you to say this is poetry is quite demeaning.

Because all worthwhile poetry has the persons soul,
This is a mark on our face, just a big mole


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3
3
Review of The new arrival  Open in new Window.
Review by Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I’ll start with the negatives, just like the story,
The characters were too archetypal but weren’t written poorly,

That’s the bulk of my criticism
Now to say what you did with great precision.

Using the tiles allowed it to be seen as different views
As other amateur would of gone “look you choose!”


You did a great job with this


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
4
4
Review by Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Every word seems saturated in Importance,
Striking through the heart like a ever gleaming lance.

Striking new thoughts and old thoughts alike,
Making important ideas in the mind spike.

But maybe this is ignorance
But is petioles a mispelling? I didn’t understand on first glance


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
5
5
Review of To Die For  Open in new Window.
Review by Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
This is a statment, not a piece of poetry,
Poetry takes skill, but something like this requires no ability.

You may have an opinion, but you still haven’t shown it,
And for the poetry community your piece doesn’t fit.
But i’ll Drop a ladder to help you out of this pit.

Love, as a concept is beaten like a dead horse,
We ask poetry and they say “it’s easy of course!”
So where the passion or the spark?
If you look a little close it’s stashed in the dark.
The lack of life or emotion,
For the writing industry it’s seen as a promotion


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6
6
Review by Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (2.0)
Where’s the heart you put in?
The concept and feelings were way too thin.
A story of fluff is what you have told,
With no thought nor effort, it just feels cold

What you’ve made is a skeleton,
Used bare bones and added nothing fun,
It doesn’t matter the poem, it needs an identity,
But this is pathetic, why isn’t this free?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
7
7
Review of A Sleepless Night  Open in new Window.
Review by Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Ideas have to learn to walk,
To grow stronger they have to of fought,
Fracturing thoughts create fractured work,
But when it falls it still hurts.

What I'm saying in simple terms,
It concept is not solid, it's still not firm.

But don't give up nor regret,
For the more you work the better you get.


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8
8
Review of Parenthood  Open in new Window.
Review by Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Interesting concept and a well built story, easy to read and cleverly playing on emotion.

I like to be as critical as possible but even after rereading I only found one mistake and it's so small it didn't impact on the quality.

"Ahh a glimmer of I hope I spy."

The mistake was "of I hope"


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
9
9
Review of And it was good  Open in new Window.
Review by Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
It feels strange and different, but I don't know if it's a good different.
It's like a list of ideas just before you begin to try and connect them, i also can understand the meaning but I don't think this is the best way to portray it.

Hope you have a good day but please try to rework this.


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10
10
Review of Thousand years  Open in new Window.
Review by Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (2.5)
Your flow needs some changes, as your style grows I hope it rearranges.

Build vocabulary, skill and ability,
After you do it will allow you to see.

At the moment you seem to have a handful of words,
But to improve you need a wider choice to be heard.

In summary it was overly simplistic and the rhymes felt like anyone could come up with them, so it lacked a personalised style which you need to build or it will be considered "just another piece of poetry".


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
11
11
Review by Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
A little bit too small to tell a story

That doesn't mean it's bad or written poorly

It's interesting without a doubt

But the structure felt a bit out

So please work more on this kind of stuff

Love this peice even though it's still a bit rough.

Thank you


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
12
12
Review of Journey  Open in new Window.
Review by Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Though interesting And fun to read,
Your patterns and rhymes forgot to change,
You let your heart rule when the mind mind should lead.

To let you wordsmithing begin to evolve,
You need your head and heart resolve,
Not a bad effort none the less,
But feels rushed and a bit of a mess


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
13
13
Review by Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Donations for your kind hearts,
Can see your work to improve your arts.

Took some time to make this cheesy comment,
But my gratitude for all of you is as solid as cement!
14
14
Review by Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I have mild autism and ADD (attention deposit disorder)
And live in Australia, have a look at the way they treat people with any mental illness.

I believe that's why there is less shooting over here (guns are easier to get over here than most people think...)

So to build up mental services and keep your guns would be more effective than to just get rid of guns plus I understand the arms industry improves economy, everybody wins!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
15
15
Review of Stuck  Open in new Window.
Review by Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Nice but a bit short, hope you do more!
16
16
Review by Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
It feels like you made the ryhmes too close together, space them out more.
17
17
Review by Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I have only one problem here, try to expand your vocabulary instead of rhyming me with me


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
18
18
Review of Pressure  Open in new Window.
Review by Jester Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Really well done, you can tell that effort was put in.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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