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Saturday, May. 4, 2024

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Are You Listening???

by Charlie ~

Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as

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#2030442 by Not Available.

and

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I blog for things like

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FORUM

30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

(13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by Fivesixer

FORUM

JAFBG

(XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
#2094931 by Elisa the Bunny Stik

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

intuey GoT Survivor!

Jul 22, 2023 at 8:05am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey Char, It's been a while since I've touched base with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The last thing people should say is everyone loses their grandparents eventually, or it will get better with time. It's the last thing you want to hear when you're hurting. Death sucks, long-lasting illness sucks! Having to decide to let the person go to keep them from suffering REALLY SUCKS! I think the only ones who can understand truly just how much are those who have had to make that decision. My heart breaks for you.

I'm not religious, but I do have a strong faith in God. I call myself spiritual because I don't agree with all the rules and regulations of religion. I do know I will see my family and friends again, and this is a great comfort. I can only imagine how much more painful the death of loved ones is without this belief. But you're right, it can't be faked. But it is a beautiful thing.

Having mental health issues during times like this makes it even harder to go through. I know what you mean about seeing things that aren't there. I'd walk into a room, and say, "Where's Star?" and she would be sitting right in front of me. When I looked, I swear I saw an empty chair. The mind is crazy. It gives new meaning to a mind of its own

Some time has passed since you wrote this. I don't know when you'll see this but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending good energy your way. I hope you're doing better. I look forward to hearing from you.

Aiva Raine

Mar 28, 2023 at 9:40pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm sorry for your loss. I know they are shitty sounding words that don't even attempt to fill or fix, but they're meant in sincerity.

Having lost several people the best advice I was ever given was when life gets too hard- take it at your own pace. If a day is too much- cope with an hour at a time. If that's too much, take it ten minutes at a time. If that's too much- then you deal with one minute at a time. Work through life and grief at your pace. And don't ever feel guilty because you feel sad. And if you can- find one positive in each chunk of time- even if it's something as little as the beauty of sunlight on a leaf or the softness of your shirt. And ask for help if you need it.

Elle - on hiatus

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:29pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Aw, Charlie, I'm so sorry. It's a shit thing to go through whether it's sudden or not. And just because everyone goes through it, doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't take into account that you were closer to them than your parents. Nobody says 'Oh, everyone loses their parents eventually' do they? Surely not. And that's what's happened here really. I'm actually glad you've got an appointment with a professional tomorrow, because they might be able to help you with getting through that initial devastation.

When my dad lost his mother, he really struggled with his own lack of religion. As you say, there is some comfort in believing they've gone to a better place, been reunited with loved ones, that you'll see them again, and so on. For most of my life, Dad would say 'Religion is a crutch for the weak', but I definitely saw him struggle with the finality of it when he lost his mother, the person he was probably closest to.

My thoughts are with you.

1 Like

~Minja~

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Crazy stuff, grief. If you want to talk about it, message me always.

1 Like

QPdoll

Mar 7, 2023 at 6:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I understand what you mean about wanting to tell your grandmother something. I did the same thing after my grandmother passed. I was at home and the first thing I thought was to call grandma. I picked up the phone and realized that she wouldn't answer. It's so tough losing your grandparents, especially as close as you were. I don't have any magic words, but take care of yourself. It's what they would want.

1 Like

Robert Waltz

Mar 6, 2023 at 10:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

1 Like

Anni Pon

Mar 6, 2023 at 9:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I know it doesn't help any, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine much worse than losing a parent or parental figure. They represent stability and safety, you grew up with them, and you've relied on them for most, if not all, of your life. You're right, the initial devastation will fade and things won't feel so fresh. But, as you know, grief never really goes away. It just becomes a permanent part of you.

It's horrible that you only got a couple days worth of bereavement! That's not even long enough for the shock to wear off enough to START grieving. I hope you have the support of someone else in your life to help you through this dark time. Take it easy on yourself in the mean time, that's all you really can do. Taking care of your physical self, eating and sleeping, is critical. Sleep deprivation and hunger will make things feel a million times worse than they actually are (which, for the record, is already pretty bad).

1 Like

Harlow Flick, Right Fielder

Mar 6, 2023 at 8:56pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

This is such a very human thing, isn't it.

“I think there is nearly an overwhelming sadness to the human predicament.” - Skinny Boy Hill

BOOM! This ain’t no whipped cream pie I’m tossing.

1 Like

Cinn

Feb 20, 2023 at 9:34pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I actually pretty much love this one. Nice, man...

Cinn

Feb 19, 2023 at 11:07am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'd say that more freedom for participants would attract more people. One obvious example that I've never understood is fiction vs poetry. If it's an activity, not a contest, why not allow people to explore whatever the theme of your activity is with whatever type of writing that want to do?

I've actually written for countless contests/activities over the years but never entered... because they inspired me, but I don't fit within the guidelines. Max rating too low, items required (book entries only over here), no poetry accepted, etc.

I know well why people restrict writers' freedom, but they're also restricting the number of participants they'll get. I still just take the inspiration where I can get it.

July 1, 2020 at 7:24am

#986917

And so the story goes...

Artist: Motion City Soundtrack
Song: The Future Freaks Me Out
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

"30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" Prompt: Write a letter to your parents from before your birth. Give them advice about how to raise you and give them a heads up about anything they might struggle with when you come into their lives.

Oh boy, we're gonna have a fun month. For those who haven't read my last entry "Invalid Entry"

, I'm a bit unapologetically unhinged right and for the foreseeable future. So, that's the disclaimer for the month.

This doesn't really mean anything except that if you're ever reading one of my entries this month and you're thinking, holy shit, this dude's lost it... yup!

And look at us, we're comin' out of the gates hot with this prompt. Hey, SB Musing

, are you in this round?

Like, fuck it, why not I guess.

So, here's the thing. I have no idea how to be a parent. Let alone how to parent someone like me. That's why I don't have kids. Every time I think about having kids, I have two thoughts: 1) What if they're like me? 2) What if I'm like my dad?

I think there was a time, long ago, when I thought I knew all this shit that my parents should've done differently. I honestly don't know if I still feel that way or not because I'm missing huge gaps of time in my memory at this point and I can't actually pick out specifics to be like, "Oh, hey, you should do that differently." But I have had some pregnancy scares (they're like jump scares, but slower), and I do have a general list of things I'd like to think I'd do as a parent whether I had a little demon spawn like myself or a different kid entirely.

I mean, I can remove myself from the equation entirely and it'll be easier to think about because if I'm not disconnected from reality, what's even happening? In general, I think parents should try to do the following things, (and any actual parents can feel free to come correct me because I have no idea what's going on right now anyway):

On religion...
I think parents should be careful about pushing religion onto their kids. It's fine to be religious, but you should allow kids the ability to explore their own beliefs instead of just saying, "You were born in this family, raised in this house, so you're Catholic now" or whatever. Let kids ask questions without getting pissed off that they're questioning your religion. Let them read other religious texts and learn about other religions. You know, basic shit that you should let someone with a functioning brain do.

On emotions...
You should let your kids express healthy emotions. I've seen so many grown men who are like, "I don't cry cuz crying is for girls." Oh wow, we're all quivering in the shadow of your manliness. Give me a fucking break.

Then you find out that their dad beat the fuck out of them if they cried and it's like, ooooh, right. Toxic masculinity at its finest. Oh, and also, when you don't let kids express healthy emotions, they revert to expressing unhealthy ones. Anger is most common, I think.

On discipline...
If you're controlling your kids through fear, you're doing a bad job and you should feel bad. Leading through fear is something people do when they have no idea how to motivate. It's the equivalent of the tyrant boss who bullies their underlings knowing that they have no choice but to comply.

Those are the 3 big hitters for me, I think. Obviously there are a lot more. Like, your kids are often a reflection of you so don't be a bigot or a douche bag and expect your kid to grow up stellar. Don't live vicariously through your kids. Don't set unachievable standards. Remember to praise them for their accomplishments. Don't compare them to your other kids. Don't be afraid to admit when you've made a mistake. Don't use guilt to manipulate your kids' emotions. Don't hold things over their head like you're doing them a favor by feeding them.

Ya know, kind of common sense shit that the average 10 year old could probably come up with.

Obviously you can do everything right and still have trouble raising kids. Most people probably have something they would have changed about their parents' parenting style. There are always going to be mental health issues and addictions or just falling in with a negative crowd.

Doing the right thing when raising kids doesn't prevent any of that stuff, but it certainly helps a kid stay on track when they have a strong and reasonable support system.

Oh, and the biggest thing I took out of parenting from my childhood: If you get angry when your child tells the truth, you're teaching them to lie.

I definitely remember thinking so many times as a kid, Hey, so, that didn't go well. Make sure you lie next time.

We fail to represent
We fail to be content
We fail at everything we ever even try to attempt

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