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Saturday, May. 4, 2024

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Are You Listening???

by Charlie ~

Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as

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#2030442 by Not Available.

and

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I blog for things like

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FORUM

30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

(13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by Fivesixer

FORUM

JAFBG

(XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
#2094931 by Elisa the Bunny Stik

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

intuey GoT Survivor!

Jul 22, 2023 at 8:05am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey Char, It's been a while since I've touched base with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The last thing people should say is everyone loses their grandparents eventually, or it will get better with time. It's the last thing you want to hear when you're hurting. Death sucks, long-lasting illness sucks! Having to decide to let the person go to keep them from suffering REALLY SUCKS! I think the only ones who can understand truly just how much are those who have had to make that decision. My heart breaks for you.

I'm not religious, but I do have a strong faith in God. I call myself spiritual because I don't agree with all the rules and regulations of religion. I do know I will see my family and friends again, and this is a great comfort. I can only imagine how much more painful the death of loved ones is without this belief. But you're right, it can't be faked. But it is a beautiful thing.

Having mental health issues during times like this makes it even harder to go through. I know what you mean about seeing things that aren't there. I'd walk into a room, and say, "Where's Star?" and she would be sitting right in front of me. When I looked, I swear I saw an empty chair. The mind is crazy. It gives new meaning to a mind of its own

Some time has passed since you wrote this. I don't know when you'll see this but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending good energy your way. I hope you're doing better. I look forward to hearing from you.

Aiva Raine

Mar 28, 2023 at 9:40pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm sorry for your loss. I know they are shitty sounding words that don't even attempt to fill or fix, but they're meant in sincerity.

Having lost several people the best advice I was ever given was when life gets too hard- take it at your own pace. If a day is too much- cope with an hour at a time. If that's too much, take it ten minutes at a time. If that's too much- then you deal with one minute at a time. Work through life and grief at your pace. And don't ever feel guilty because you feel sad. And if you can- find one positive in each chunk of time- even if it's something as little as the beauty of sunlight on a leaf or the softness of your shirt. And ask for help if you need it.

Elle - on hiatus

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:29pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Aw, Charlie, I'm so sorry. It's a shit thing to go through whether it's sudden or not. And just because everyone goes through it, doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't take into account that you were closer to them than your parents. Nobody says 'Oh, everyone loses their parents eventually' do they? Surely not. And that's what's happened here really. I'm actually glad you've got an appointment with a professional tomorrow, because they might be able to help you with getting through that initial devastation.

When my dad lost his mother, he really struggled with his own lack of religion. As you say, there is some comfort in believing they've gone to a better place, been reunited with loved ones, that you'll see them again, and so on. For most of my life, Dad would say 'Religion is a crutch for the weak', but I definitely saw him struggle with the finality of it when he lost his mother, the person he was probably closest to.

My thoughts are with you.

1 Like

~Minja~

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Crazy stuff, grief. If you want to talk about it, message me always.

1 Like

QPdoll

Mar 7, 2023 at 6:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I understand what you mean about wanting to tell your grandmother something. I did the same thing after my grandmother passed. I was at home and the first thing I thought was to call grandma. I picked up the phone and realized that she wouldn't answer. It's so tough losing your grandparents, especially as close as you were. I don't have any magic words, but take care of yourself. It's what they would want.

1 Like

Robert Waltz

Mar 6, 2023 at 10:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

1 Like

Anni Pon

Mar 6, 2023 at 9:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I know it doesn't help any, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine much worse than losing a parent or parental figure. They represent stability and safety, you grew up with them, and you've relied on them for most, if not all, of your life. You're right, the initial devastation will fade and things won't feel so fresh. But, as you know, grief never really goes away. It just becomes a permanent part of you.

It's horrible that you only got a couple days worth of bereavement! That's not even long enough for the shock to wear off enough to START grieving. I hope you have the support of someone else in your life to help you through this dark time. Take it easy on yourself in the mean time, that's all you really can do. Taking care of your physical self, eating and sleeping, is critical. Sleep deprivation and hunger will make things feel a million times worse than they actually are (which, for the record, is already pretty bad).

1 Like

Harlow Flick, Right Fielder

Mar 6, 2023 at 8:56pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

This is such a very human thing, isn't it.

“I think there is nearly an overwhelming sadness to the human predicament.” - Skinny Boy Hill

BOOM! This ain’t no whipped cream pie I’m tossing.

1 Like

Cinn

Feb 20, 2023 at 9:34pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I actually pretty much love this one. Nice, man...

Cinn

Feb 19, 2023 at 11:07am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'd say that more freedom for participants would attract more people. One obvious example that I've never understood is fiction vs poetry. If it's an activity, not a contest, why not allow people to explore whatever the theme of your activity is with whatever type of writing that want to do?

I've actually written for countless contests/activities over the years but never entered... because they inspired me, but I don't fit within the guidelines. Max rating too low, items required (book entries only over here), no poetry accepted, etc.

I know well why people restrict writers' freedom, but they're also restricting the number of participants they'll get. I still just take the inspiration where I can get it.

July 3, 2020 at 12:08am

#987098

Never again

Artist: Microwave
Song: But Not Often
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

"30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" Prompt: Describe a missed opportunity you encountered, and how things might have been different if you hadn't missed it.

I've never had a huge opportunity that I've turned down. As in, I've never been accepted into a college and decided against going. I've never had a great career opportunity and turned it down. If an opportunity presents itself, I'm usually happy to jump on it and I have the freedom to do that. I don't have any kids or anything else to really tether me down. Kira doesn't have a career, so whatever I need to do in life, I can pretty much do without argument.

I didn't always accept potential opportunities though. For a long time, I didn't see any value in myself or any future for myself so I was quick to turn down anything that could potentially change my life for the better. I was in such a negative mental space in terms of who I was supposed to be or what my outcome was supposed to look like. On the day-to-day, I was happy during those times because I had no real responsibilities or things to worry about. It was definitely much easier to just get messed up all the time and barely work enough to cover my bills. I feel a lot more daily stress and tension now.

But in terms of missing opportunities, I'm sure I missed some along the way.

For example, after I dropped out of high school, I ended up getting my GED. Soon after that, I got a phone call from a recruiter at Rutger's University. I was not having any of it. I remember the day very well because I was withdrawing from something and had been vomiting all morning. I was at the grocery store self-checkout with Kira and I kept leaning on the bagging area and it would scream at us, "UNEXPECTED ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA!"

Anyway, he was trying to talk to me and I was trying to not talk to him. He said that he was from Rutger's and wanted to talk to me about something, was now a good time? I told him I don't want to talk to him. He seemed very confused and repeated who he was and where he was calling from; he said he had something to talk to me about that I'd likely want to hear. I said I didn't want to hear it. He asked me something like, "You won't even listen to what I have to say?" And I was like, "Nah" and hung up.

So, if we're talking about potential missed opportunities, I probably have a ton of them. I'm sure the call was nothing important, but can you imagine thinking so low of your future that you wouldn't even take 30 seconds at the age of 18 to listen to what someone from a reputable university has to pitch to you before hanging up?

I didn't think about that call again until I actually started uni in my 20s. The call doesn't matter because, again, it was likely unimportant and I ended up at a better school in the long run anyway. It's just the fact that with zero prospects in life you would be so unwilling to listen to anything that could potentially change your future for the better.

If we're talking about those potential "missed opportunities" I'm sure I have a boatload because I did that exact type of thing for years and years. I don't do that anymore though. If a company wants to talk to me about their open positions, I'll listen even though I have a job. If a school wants to talk to me about their master's degree programs, I'll listen even though I don't have plans to go back to school right now.

You never know what you're going to miss out on life if you close yourself off to conversations that could potentially change the course of your life. I'm still far from perfect. I'll probably never get to the point where I'm in a "good" place consistently; but I never want to get to that point again where I won't even listen to a potential opportunity in life.

We’re always getting fucked up, why
Do you really need to know me?

11 Like • Comment • View 12 comments

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