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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/2181458-Are-You-Listening/day/7-12-2020
Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458
A journey of self-improvement - or not.
Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as
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I blog for things like
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FORUM
30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS  (13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
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JAFBG  (XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
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Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head


July 12, 2020 at 12:23am
July 12, 2020 at 12:23am
#987886
Artist: Bob Dylan
Song: It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)
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*Sun* "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS Prompt: When did you first start blogging? (anywhere, not necessarily on WDC) Why? What did you blog about? (subjects, topics, personal news, etc.) Has your blogging style changed since you began?


This should be an interesting one! It’s always cool to learn what prompted someone to pick up a new hobby or form of writing.

I never even thought about blogging before WDC. My first blog here was made specifically for "The Soundtrack of Your Life right when I joined the site at the beginning of 2014. I made my blog on 30 January that year and my first entry was 1 February when the very first Soundtrackers challenge started.

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I had never really read any blogs before, so I had no idea what I was going. I’d also only been on the site for 2 weeks so I didn’t really have any friends yet. I had been in rehab that December and, during my time there, I started creative writing a little bit. I was encouraged to keep that up after I left, not because I was an amazing writer, but likely because it was a healthy coping mechanism. So when I got out, I basically just did a writing site google search so that I could continue to share my writing with other people, and I found WDC then. This is the poem I wrote during rehab and I added it to my port here the day after I joined:

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Night Dancing  (E)
Quick poem about the desperation of mental illness
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So, I was brand new on the site, had a new blog, and a challenge before me with no real instructions except to share the soundtrack to my life. I could think of a million potential songs, but I wasn't sure what to write about them. At the time though, I was struggling with flashes of memories that I'd masked through drugs for years. Not even necessarily traumatic memories, but just things that would pop into my mind and make me feel all kinds of feelings that I had no interest in, uh, feeling.

Something I didn't understand at that time, because no one ever talks about it, is that good memories are sometimes more painful than bad ones. I couldn't explain to myself why a happy memory would make me feel so bad, it just did. I didn't even want to be associated with or attached to my own memories. It was impossible for me to write these things in first person because that felt like owning them. Instead, I decided to write these flashes of memories in third person. My first entry was one of those should be good/happy memories that just made me feel horrible then and still makes me feel horrible now.

I still don't understand why or how good memories are painful, but either way, here's my first blog entry ever:
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Later, I learned that what I was writing was called a vignette. So that's what I did the entire first month of my blog. I had almost no readers, very few comments/likes on my entries because I'd been on the site for 2 weeks. I wasn't popular in any way, and a lot of the entries to this day have like 3 views. *Rolling* But I did make a lot of friends that month through Soundtrackers. I was so appreciative of those people who did read my entries here and there and let me know they were seeing me.

That's why I will always like/comment entries from people who are new to the site or new to "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS. A little encouragement goes a long way. If I hadn't had those few readers that I had, I likely would have gone back to writing in my journal or on the back of a napkin at the end of the challenge rather than starting to blog for daily prompt challenges like "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS, "Blogging Circle of Friends , "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise, etc. And of course I'll always be thankful to lizco252isback for starting that challenge and being one of my few readers that month. She and Fivesixer were the first people to ever engage with my first blog. *Heart*

From Soundtrackers, I started blogging about everything. My blog was like half personal journal, half throwing my opinion in on whatever prompts came up for the day. I don't know if my style has changed very much. I still write vignettes when times get tough or difficult memories arise:

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I'll still post what's going on with me in my blog. I'll have a total breakdown if that's what needs to happen. I have a lot less shame in myself now because I've realized that people use their blogs for all sorts of things. There's really no right or wrong way to blog, despite what some might say. As long as you're true to yourself and doing what you need to do for yourself, your blog is serving its purpose.

I try as much (as much as time allows) to engage with people's blogs and let them know that what they're saying matters and is valid. I sometimes just go to the Bloggers   page when there isn't a blogging challenge going on and just sweep through the page liking/commenting on people's entries. There are so many people here baring their souls the way I do and the way I was then without getting any kind of validation or thumbs up from anyone.

I wish I had the time all the time to let those people know they're not alone, but I do what I can. *Heart*

But though the masters make the rules
For the wise men and the fools
I got nothing, Ma, to live up to


© Copyright 2023 Charlie ~ (UN: charlieabney at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Charlie ~ has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.

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