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Saturday, May. 4, 2024

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Are You Listening???

by Charlie ~

Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as

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#2030442 by Not Available.

and

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I blog for things like

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FORUM

30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

(13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by Fivesixer

FORUM

JAFBG

(XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
#2094931 by Elisa the Bunny Stik

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

intuey GoT Survivor!

Jul 22, 2023 at 8:05am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey Char, It's been a while since I've touched base with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The last thing people should say is everyone loses their grandparents eventually, or it will get better with time. It's the last thing you want to hear when you're hurting. Death sucks, long-lasting illness sucks! Having to decide to let the person go to keep them from suffering REALLY SUCKS! I think the only ones who can understand truly just how much are those who have had to make that decision. My heart breaks for you.

I'm not religious, but I do have a strong faith in God. I call myself spiritual because I don't agree with all the rules and regulations of religion. I do know I will see my family and friends again, and this is a great comfort. I can only imagine how much more painful the death of loved ones is without this belief. But you're right, it can't be faked. But it is a beautiful thing.

Having mental health issues during times like this makes it even harder to go through. I know what you mean about seeing things that aren't there. I'd walk into a room, and say, "Where's Star?" and she would be sitting right in front of me. When I looked, I swear I saw an empty chair. The mind is crazy. It gives new meaning to a mind of its own

Some time has passed since you wrote this. I don't know when you'll see this but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending good energy your way. I hope you're doing better. I look forward to hearing from you.

Aiva Raine

Mar 28, 2023 at 9:40pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm sorry for your loss. I know they are shitty sounding words that don't even attempt to fill or fix, but they're meant in sincerity.

Having lost several people the best advice I was ever given was when life gets too hard- take it at your own pace. If a day is too much- cope with an hour at a time. If that's too much, take it ten minutes at a time. If that's too much- then you deal with one minute at a time. Work through life and grief at your pace. And don't ever feel guilty because you feel sad. And if you can- find one positive in each chunk of time- even if it's something as little as the beauty of sunlight on a leaf or the softness of your shirt. And ask for help if you need it.

Elle - on hiatus

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:29pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Aw, Charlie, I'm so sorry. It's a shit thing to go through whether it's sudden or not. And just because everyone goes through it, doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't take into account that you were closer to them than your parents. Nobody says 'Oh, everyone loses their parents eventually' do they? Surely not. And that's what's happened here really. I'm actually glad you've got an appointment with a professional tomorrow, because they might be able to help you with getting through that initial devastation.

When my dad lost his mother, he really struggled with his own lack of religion. As you say, there is some comfort in believing they've gone to a better place, been reunited with loved ones, that you'll see them again, and so on. For most of my life, Dad would say 'Religion is a crutch for the weak', but I definitely saw him struggle with the finality of it when he lost his mother, the person he was probably closest to.

My thoughts are with you.

1 Like

~Minja~

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Crazy stuff, grief. If you want to talk about it, message me always.

1 Like

QPdoll

Mar 7, 2023 at 6:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I understand what you mean about wanting to tell your grandmother something. I did the same thing after my grandmother passed. I was at home and the first thing I thought was to call grandma. I picked up the phone and realized that she wouldn't answer. It's so tough losing your grandparents, especially as close as you were. I don't have any magic words, but take care of yourself. It's what they would want.

1 Like

Robert Waltz

Mar 6, 2023 at 10:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

1 Like

Anni Pon

Mar 6, 2023 at 9:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I know it doesn't help any, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine much worse than losing a parent or parental figure. They represent stability and safety, you grew up with them, and you've relied on them for most, if not all, of your life. You're right, the initial devastation will fade and things won't feel so fresh. But, as you know, grief never really goes away. It just becomes a permanent part of you.

It's horrible that you only got a couple days worth of bereavement! That's not even long enough for the shock to wear off enough to START grieving. I hope you have the support of someone else in your life to help you through this dark time. Take it easy on yourself in the mean time, that's all you really can do. Taking care of your physical self, eating and sleeping, is critical. Sleep deprivation and hunger will make things feel a million times worse than they actually are (which, for the record, is already pretty bad).

1 Like

Harlow Flick, Right Fielder

Mar 6, 2023 at 8:56pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

This is such a very human thing, isn't it.

“I think there is nearly an overwhelming sadness to the human predicament.” - Skinny Boy Hill

BOOM! This ain’t no whipped cream pie I’m tossing.

1 Like

Cinn

Feb 20, 2023 at 9:34pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I actually pretty much love this one. Nice, man...

Cinn

Feb 19, 2023 at 11:07am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'd say that more freedom for participants would attract more people. One obvious example that I've never understood is fiction vs poetry. If it's an activity, not a contest, why not allow people to explore whatever the theme of your activity is with whatever type of writing that want to do?

I've actually written for countless contests/activities over the years but never entered... because they inspired me, but I don't fit within the guidelines. Max rating too low, items required (book entries only over here), no poetry accepted, etc.

I know well why people restrict writers' freedom, but they're also restricting the number of participants they'll get. I still just take the inspiration where I can get it.

July 2, 2020 at 8:53am

#987014

I can read your mood, no assembly required

Artist: Say Anything
Song: I Want to Know Your Plans
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

"30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" Prompt: We all know the mood-ring fad of the 70’s only predicted body temperature and not necessarily mood, but what if people could actually see your emotions, like an aura of color surrounding you. Would you try to mask it, display it proudly, or something in between?

All of us checking today's prompt after yesterday's:

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Ah, okay, this one is pretty chill by comparison.

I don't really need a mood ring or an aura to tell people how I'm feeling because I have this stupid face that gives away all my emotions. Even strangers can tell my mood based on my face. I'll be talking to someone I barely know and they're like, "Why are you getting agitated?" And I'm like, holy shit, this person is a mind reader. Nope, just my face doing its jaw clenching, furrowed brow, agitated thing.

I wish I had a good poker face. There are times when you don't need someone to know that you're getting upset. For example, in a performance review, not great if someone is constructively criticizing you and your face is silently saying, "Yo, fuck this dude! I work really hard here, asshole."

Then there are all of the bad body language habits that I've developed over the years. Most of them are nervous tics (bouncing my knees when I'm sitting down, fucking around with my hands, touching my hair, etc.), but some of them are just bad habits I've carried into adulthood somehow. The biggest one is rolling my eyes. You'd think that someone would know when they're rolling their eyes, but I don't.

This was a point of contention between my dad and I when I was a kid because he'd say something to me and I'd be like, "

" and he'd be all, "Did you just roll your eyes at me!?" and I'd be like, "No, Dad, I didn't roll my eyes at you.

" Now this has gotten me in trouble in my twenties too, especially when sitting at the dinner table with my Trump-loving in-laws. They were having a conversation years ago about how abortion should be illegal and I just did this massive give-me-a-fucking-break eye roll that everyone saw immediately and then I got lectured about it.

But I have tons of other bad body language habits, like looking around the room when someone is talking to me instead of making eye contact. Eye contact is difficult and uncomfortable for me, so I'll either look around the room or fix my eyes on something away from the person I'm talking to. Comes off as rude and inattentive, I'm sure. I also have bad language habits (um... like... err...).

My point here is that if you wear your emotions on your face and you have a lot of body language habits, no one really needs a mood ring or an aura to see what's going on with you. The good part about being someone who wears their emotions on their face and has a lot of body language habits though is that I'm really good at reading other people. I won't go as far as to say that I'm an empath, but I can absolutely pick up on people's energy and their mood before I even approach them for the day.

You can just tell in the way someone is standing, drinking their coffee. Their hand placement, the way their eyes move, their posture, their feet placement, the way they're holding their body weight, the subtle movements of the muscles in their face... Even if they've got the best poker face, their body language will give everything away.

The first week of my post-grad job, I needed to go talk to one of my coworkers about something. I found him standing at the printer with his back to me and I went up and said, "Hey, man, what's up? Rough morning?"

He said in a fairly bright, chipper tone, "Hey, what's up! Nah, I'm all good."

Then later in the afternoon we were working together on something and he was like, "Hey, just out of curiosity, how did you know I was having a bad morning?"

It turns out he had a nail in his tire and was going to have to take it in to get patched up so he wasn't in the best mood that morning. Nothing tragic or anything, but just not great energy.

I told him it was honestly everything about the way he was standing. Holding tension in his shoulders, left foot out but right foot center of gravity so it's holding all the weight, one hand on his hip, looking down as his stuff printed instead of looking around the office (i.e. 'don't talk to me' body language). You give away so much without even intending to.

So, while some people like me give away everything with a quick glance because we have trouble hiding emotion, people who have a good poker face also give everything away. You just have to know what to look for because it's a lot more subtle than someone whose face is like: (ಠ_ಠ)

No aura or mood ring necessary.

You're what keeps me believing the world's not gone dead
Strength in my bones put the words in my head

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