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Sunday, May. 5, 2024

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Are You Listening???

by Charlie ~

Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as

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#2030442 by Not Available.

and

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I blog for things like

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FORUM

30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

(13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by Fivesixer

FORUM

JAFBG

(XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
#2094931 by Elisa the Bunny Stik

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

intuey GoT Survivor!

Jul 22, 2023 at 8:05am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey Char, It's been a while since I've touched base with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The last thing people should say is everyone loses their grandparents eventually, or it will get better with time. It's the last thing you want to hear when you're hurting. Death sucks, long-lasting illness sucks! Having to decide to let the person go to keep them from suffering REALLY SUCKS! I think the only ones who can understand truly just how much are those who have had to make that decision. My heart breaks for you.

I'm not religious, but I do have a strong faith in God. I call myself spiritual because I don't agree with all the rules and regulations of religion. I do know I will see my family and friends again, and this is a great comfort. I can only imagine how much more painful the death of loved ones is without this belief. But you're right, it can't be faked. But it is a beautiful thing.

Having mental health issues during times like this makes it even harder to go through. I know what you mean about seeing things that aren't there. I'd walk into a room, and say, "Where's Star?" and she would be sitting right in front of me. When I looked, I swear I saw an empty chair. The mind is crazy. It gives new meaning to a mind of its own

Some time has passed since you wrote this. I don't know when you'll see this but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending good energy your way. I hope you're doing better. I look forward to hearing from you.

Aiva Raine

Mar 28, 2023 at 9:40pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm sorry for your loss. I know they are shitty sounding words that don't even attempt to fill or fix, but they're meant in sincerity.

Having lost several people the best advice I was ever given was when life gets too hard- take it at your own pace. If a day is too much- cope with an hour at a time. If that's too much, take it ten minutes at a time. If that's too much- then you deal with one minute at a time. Work through life and grief at your pace. And don't ever feel guilty because you feel sad. And if you can- find one positive in each chunk of time- even if it's something as little as the beauty of sunlight on a leaf or the softness of your shirt. And ask for help if you need it.

Elle - on hiatus

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:29pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Aw, Charlie, I'm so sorry. It's a shit thing to go through whether it's sudden or not. And just because everyone goes through it, doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't take into account that you were closer to them than your parents. Nobody says 'Oh, everyone loses their parents eventually' do they? Surely not. And that's what's happened here really. I'm actually glad you've got an appointment with a professional tomorrow, because they might be able to help you with getting through that initial devastation.

When my dad lost his mother, he really struggled with his own lack of religion. As you say, there is some comfort in believing they've gone to a better place, been reunited with loved ones, that you'll see them again, and so on. For most of my life, Dad would say 'Religion is a crutch for the weak', but I definitely saw him struggle with the finality of it when he lost his mother, the person he was probably closest to.

My thoughts are with you.

1 Like

~Minja~

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Crazy stuff, grief. If you want to talk about it, message me always.

1 Like

QPdoll

Mar 7, 2023 at 6:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I understand what you mean about wanting to tell your grandmother something. I did the same thing after my grandmother passed. I was at home and the first thing I thought was to call grandma. I picked up the phone and realized that she wouldn't answer. It's so tough losing your grandparents, especially as close as you were. I don't have any magic words, but take care of yourself. It's what they would want.

1 Like

Robert Waltz

Mar 6, 2023 at 10:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

1 Like

Anni Pon

Mar 6, 2023 at 9:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I know it doesn't help any, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine much worse than losing a parent or parental figure. They represent stability and safety, you grew up with them, and you've relied on them for most, if not all, of your life. You're right, the initial devastation will fade and things won't feel so fresh. But, as you know, grief never really goes away. It just becomes a permanent part of you.

It's horrible that you only got a couple days worth of bereavement! That's not even long enough for the shock to wear off enough to START grieving. I hope you have the support of someone else in your life to help you through this dark time. Take it easy on yourself in the mean time, that's all you really can do. Taking care of your physical self, eating and sleeping, is critical. Sleep deprivation and hunger will make things feel a million times worse than they actually are (which, for the record, is already pretty bad).

1 Like

Harlow Flick, Right Fielder

Mar 6, 2023 at 8:56pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

This is such a very human thing, isn't it.

“I think there is nearly an overwhelming sadness to the human predicament.” - Skinny Boy Hill

BOOM! This ain’t no whipped cream pie I’m tossing.

1 Like

Cinn

Feb 20, 2023 at 9:34pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I actually pretty much love this one. Nice, man...

Cinn

Feb 19, 2023 at 11:07am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'd say that more freedom for participants would attract more people. One obvious example that I've never understood is fiction vs poetry. If it's an activity, not a contest, why not allow people to explore whatever the theme of your activity is with whatever type of writing that want to do?

I've actually written for countless contests/activities over the years but never entered... because they inspired me, but I don't fit within the guidelines. Max rating too low, items required (book entries only over here), no poetry accepted, etc.

I know well why people restrict writers' freedom, but they're also restricting the number of participants they'll get. I still just take the inspiration where I can get it.

July 24, 2020 at 7:24am

#989016

I'm not picky.

Artist: Knuckle Puck
Song: Untitled
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

"30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" Prompt: If you could switch places with one other person, who would it be and why? What in particular would you do?

This weekend can't come fast enough. I've found that there's a positive correlation between learning more things at work and my stress levels. It makes sense because the more you know, the more responsibility you're given. I'm happy to be trusted to do more tasks, but I'm finding myself frequently with 4 things that need to be done right now and people impatiently asking for the completed projects, so it's kind of stressful.

On top of that, the pandemic is just wearing on me mentally at this point. Months and months of negativity and unrest have chipped away at me. I’ve tried to stay positive since almost everyone I know is also in a terrible position either mentally, physically, or financially. I’m finding it difficult now to make sure everyone’s okay. Not that they’re a burden to me, because they aren’t, but the pessimism is making it more difficult for me to find things to be optimistic about, I guess.

Throughout this whole thing, I’ve obviously continued to have OCD, which I wasn’t doing amazing with before there was a pandemic. I’ve found myself recently being pushed toward scrupulosity

complusions, which is very strange for me because I’m not even religious at this point. I haven’t had those types of compulsions since I was a teenager, and thus far I’ve been able to resist them. But it’s like... why in the first place? That’s not who I am anymore.

Oh, and also, I found out I might need physical therapy from the surgery I had a couple months ago. I have nerve damage in my jaw that is becoming less and less likely to resolve the further I get from the surgery. If it hasn’t resolved in a month or so, it’s a lot more likely to be permanent. So, that’s a thing too.

This is all relevant, I swear. I’m getting to the point.

When I reflect on this prompt, I think of all the potential people I could swap bodies with and what I could do. I could switch bodies with Jeff Bezos and empty all his accounts, sell off all his stocks, and be wealthy beyond my wildest dreams once we switch back (assuming that no one knows it was me).

I could switch places with a famous person and travel to all their homes, party with other famous people. That would be cool. I could switch places with a politician I don’t like and resign while in their body.

I could switch places with someone I know and try to see things from their perspective, see what they’re going through, and get a third-person view of myself.

But I wouldn’t choose any of those things. If I could switch places with another person, I would simply switch places with someone who was both physically and mentally healthy. I don’t think you really need much more than that. I just want to see what it’s like to live a life without OCD or trauma.

I know people are like “get over it, leave the past where it is.” But, it’s hard. I just want to know what it’s like to not deal with this shit, because I honestly have zero idea what that feels like.

I have no idea what it’s like to gain consciousness in the morning and not have your mind racing before you can even open your eyes. Or what it’s like to not jump to the worst possible conclusion given any scenario ever. Or how it feels to not have intrusive thoughts and the need to perform time-consuming compulsions to stave away a panic attack for just another minute.

So, yeah, I choose that. Someone whose brain isn’t actively working against them 24/7.

Silhouettes on the ceiling
I’ve been much better but at least I’m healing

7 Like • Comment • View 11 comments

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