*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/chesterchumly/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/6
Review Requests: OFF
718 Public Reviews Given
910 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 2 3 4 5 -6- 7 8 9 10 ... Next
126
126
Review of First Apples  
Review by Chester Chumley
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Bud,

I like your intro, the grown-ups cluster their mailboxes at the top of the road and the kids all have to make the trek to get the post every morning. This seemed quite amusing as well as being realistic and easy to picture.

You do a great job with the characterisation of 'ole man Combs'.

'Momma was going to be mad as a wet hen' that's a great line, nice imagery.

This was a charming and nostalgic tale. I really enjoyed it. It definitely has a sense of times gone by and life in a close-knit community.

Suggestions

'The road we lived on was about a mile from the main road.' you've got the word road repeated in this line, would it be suitable to change the second one to main highway or something?

When you stumble across the old man sitting on the tyre it is described as a sight you will never forget, however, there seems nothing remarkable or memorable about the appearance of Combs at this stage. This just seemed a little odd to me as I read.
127
127
Review of Goin' Fishin'  
Review by Chester Chumley
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a fun dialect piece. I enjoyed reading it.

The thing that especially stood out were the little phrases such as the wind 'blowing the state line North' or running 'faster than a melon thief'. These fit the portrayal of the character well.

Anway, amusing tale. Great job.

Suggestions

'more nightcrawlers than is gramma Sadie could carry' amusing line, but you should have an apostraphy for 'is.
128
128
Review of The Hunt  
Review by Chester Chumley
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Ernie

Nice opening paragraph, good job defining the character. I like the scene when he talks about other hunters, it was humourous but also should a dark streak in his character.

you also do a great job of describing the scene and setting the atmosphere of the piece. I found it realistic and enjoyable to read this aspect of the story. I really liked how you built the tension during the pursuit. There was some good use of language and showing the character's thoughts added to this. Skillfully done.

'In order to be a perfect hunter you have to let your mind single track, no other thoughts, sounds or emotions can cloud your purpose.' This line is excellent, really captures the guy's passion.

The ending of the piece is exciting and riveting stuff. Great job with the last line too. I really lioked this story as a piece of entertaining writing.

Suggestions

'it could be deer season[,] like now' comma.

' The heft and feel of my gun makes me feel strong' repeated the word feel in this sentence. I'd maybe change it to ' The heft and cold weight of my gun makes me feel strong'

'feel strong and safe[,] as I carry it into the wilderness.' same line as above, this time adding a comma.

'the fresh[,] piny air' another comma.

“There again, I saw movement!” I thought to myself. Here you have used inverted commas to show thouhgts, just a few words later they are used again as he whispers to himself. I'd make the thoughts italics rather than inverted commas, either that or have him whisper this first line too. You show thought this way again further down, so I'd recommmend putting them all in italics.

'as his horn caught me' I hate to be a stickler, but deer don't have horns, they have antlers. I'm sure your character would know this too.
129
129
Review by Chester Chumley
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Dawn Embers

Thanks for entering
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1115385 by Not Available.


You did a good job of creating a neurotic character here. He seems to worry the whole time he is speaking. I like the way the dialogue was repeatedly sidetracked by descriptions of Steven's surroundings or just by him going off at a tangent. This seemed quite realistic for a character like this. one who needs therapy.

The ending seemed to indicate that Steven is begining to determine his own course, perhaps not being so reliant on the guidnce of his councilor.

Overall, an interesting read. Good work.

Suggestions

'councilors office' should be councilor's.
130
130
Review of Paper Mache  
Review by Chester Chumley
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is a great story. It is very realistic, especially for a dream. We find a group of people hidding for survival in some apocalyptic wasteland. Material possesions are no longer of value and the most important goods are food.

Your descriptions are clear and vivid. I can imagine the panic and adrenaline you may have felt dreaming this.

'Discussions were made within groups consisting of only a handful of people who had previously known each other.' i liked this line, it shows how much things had changed.

One thing I noticed about this was you spend a lot of time describing how you feel about what has happened. Did these thoughts occur within the dream, or have you added them later?

I found this piece reminded me of the events of Hurricane Katrina and the disintegration of society which occured. I wonder whether the people sheltering in the store feed the ones dying from radiation? It seems to me that they probably wouldn't, a sad image.

I liked the way this ended. Your character in the piece seemed kind and tender, but events forced her to change in quite an extreme manner. i didn't expect the way it ended.

This dream reads like quite a complete story. It is a very engaging read.

Suggestions

'and did not bother to so much as [to] look up.' Missed a word there.

'he begged[,] before I managed to speak' Needs that comma.

'With deep and labored breaths[,] he continued' The description of the breathing is an extra detail, good to see, but seperate it with a comma.

'for illegal reasons.' I think people normally say 'for legal reasons' even if it is illegal.

'I wished I did not have to[,] out of respect for the departed.' There were quite a few instances of missing commas in the piece.

'A mass amount of blood' I think you mean massive here, mass isn't quite right.

'stuck to that one boot[,] like paper mache.'
131
131
Review by Chester Chumley
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I found this an interesting read. It is a dream, so it's quite strange but you have written it in first person, for obvious reasons. It works well as a first person narrative.

Obviously this is based on a dream you had, so you are retelling events rather than constructing a story line. Nevertheless this was a fun and quite gripping read. You relate the tale well and it is easy to picture.

You left us on a great cliffhanger ending. I can just imagin you waking up at this point and reaching for a notepad beside your bed to write it all down.

In fact, the whole dream journal idea sounds like a fun and interesting one. I had two crazy dreams the other night, and, quite oddly, I remember them both very clearly. In one of them King Kong was real, except he looked more like Donkey Kong, and he was after me. It was fun, entertaining even.

Suggestions

'I was already certain that the back door was not an option, knowing that there would surely be more soldiers surrounding the back.' I'd change the last back to 'house' to avoid repetition of the word in this sentence. Just a little nit pick, but it's all in the details.

I didn't spot any other errors.
132
132
Review of Whispers of Hope  
Review by Chester Chumley
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello

If this were 25 word shorter you could have entered it in
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1115385 by Not Available.
. It's a non-fiction round, in case you are interested.

This is such a beautiful piece. It really makes you think. Here's me feeling sorry for myself because I am off work sick when there are people who probably feel physically sick every day of their, all too short, lives.

I loved your language use in the piece, you really brought the issue home, so to speak. Allowing us to relate to you, the narrator, and skillfully highlighting your points.

Suggestions

' The cost of repairing the car will cost me an arm and a leg' You've repeadted 'cost' in this sentence. I think you can lose 'The cost of' from the start of this sentence.

'scabs on their skins' the word skins reads a little oddly here, would just skin work?

I can't suggest any other improvements, thanks for a touching and heart-felt read.

C.C.
133
133
Review by Chester Chumley
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Coffeebean

Firstly, I must congratulate you on that enigmatic title. It made the story very enticing without giving much away.

I love the style of the piece. It is very nostalgic and has a conversational style of narrative. It's a great way of telling the story. The first person perspective works well here. I think these elements combine to make this feel like a true story, though I'm not sure if it is or not?

I liked your quick characterisation of Gregory both before and after his illness. It really added poigancy to the story.

You also managed to fit in a little mystery for the reader, all the better because it was a mystery for the narrator as well.

Overall another finely crafted story, well done.

Suggestions

' The summer I turned ten years old was different[,] in a bad way.' I'd maybe pop that comma in to provide a contrast in the sentence.
134
134
Review of Last Duties  
Review by Chester Chumley
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
That’s excellent Kiya. I really liked your use of descriptive language in this piece.

You certainly lent it a dark and sombre air, particularly with this line: ‘The flies – as big as cockroaches - had made Mama’s body a resting place, as if aware that it was only a matter of time.’ A great piece of dark imagery.

The story line is very simple here, and you rely on the descriptions to bring the piece to life and add realism. I found this a very engaging read. It is evident that a lot of work went into the detail of this one, you capture the emotions of the situation very well indeed.

I didn’t spot any errors and it’s nice to see you making use of the new font sizes to make it easier to read.

A superb piece of flash fiction.
135
135
Review of Brother's Love  
Review by Chester Chumley
Rated: E | (4.5)
A heart warming tale this one. I liked the detail you provided in the opening section as Dave speeds off in his truck.

You gave the characters a strong back story too. I felt that the piece dealt with themes of growing up and accepting responsibility. It also mentions honour, in the form of keeping your word.

The characters were all quite believable though I did find it odd that Dave forgave his brothers wishing to sell the farm at the very point I thought he might get mad at their not coming to look for him. I guess he knew it would have been foolhardy for them to venture out too.

'You can see for yourself…a man can’t see his own hand ' this was the only tiny little bump I spotted, repetition of the word 'see' very close together. I'd maybe change it to 'Look for yourself...a man can't see his own hand'.

Other than that, spot on, and a fun read. Well done on the win.

C.C.
136
136
Review of Caldera  
Review by Chester Chumley
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Coffeebean

Thanks for entering
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1115385 by Not Available.


I read about this in Bill Bryson's Brief History of Almost Everything. Aparently a vast area of Yellowstone Park is a huge volcano crator, not a mountainous volcano, like everyone thinks of, but a flat one and FAR larger. If it blew the ash would rain down for thousands miles and it is predicted that the entire Western United States could be wiped out. There is evidence that this ocurred in prehistoric times, as herds of animals fossilised in volcano ash were found way down south of Wyoming. Sounds like good scope for a story, or a movie even, let's see what you did with it...

I found this an interesting, fact-based read. I can tell that you researched it a good deal.

Some might say this is one of those stories that 'tells us, rather than showing us'. this doesn't really bother me, as I like the way you slip facts into the story and base it more on the fear and apprehension of the characters, rather than the event itself. However, I do think that this, being the mother of all natural disasters, would have made a great story just in describing the eruption itself. That would be an entirely different piece though.

I found the characters' behaviour quite natural. Jenna's parents are quite worried by what they see on the news, but they can't quite bring themselves to believe it entirely. jenna, meanwhile, is worried by her parents' obvious concern. I think, if this were to happen, people would either act like they do in your story, or there would be mass panic. Possibly a mixture of both. Of course, the government just says, 'no comment'.

I enjoyed reading this, it is certianly a great choice of topic for both the story and to meet the contest prompt.

(wikipedia update to my earlier facts about Yellowstone: The eruption was 640,000 years ago and ash covered an area extending as far as Mexico. Monitoring of the volcano has recently been stepped up, due to an increase in earthquake activity in the park.)

Suggestions

'the grave looks on her parent’s faces' should be parents', as it's plural.
137
137
Review of The hideout  
Review by Chester Chumley
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Changeling

An interesting story. You made a good job of creating tension as the narrator is chased through the woods. The sense of mystery remains throughout the piece, and beyond.

'I gazed at the emerald summer canopy; through spider webs, and tiny droplets of water diamonds,' I liked this imagery, and the tranquility of it contrasted strongly with the hurried chase before it.

The ending really added something to the piece, I've read stories, and written stories, like this many times but your ending was something different. It's a little surreal maybe, and it's not immediately clear as to its meaning.

Suggestions

I spotted a few sections where you could tighten up your sentences, lose some extra words.

'my eyes thumped sore with the blood bruising behind them' nice alliteration in blood bruising though.

'I could hear them catching up on me so I just ran on.'

Tightening these up will help bring out the urgency of the pursuit.

'That was the kind of questions I asked.' This isn't 'proper English' it may be intentional as this is first person narrative and not everyone speaks proper English, otherwise it should be 'those were the kind[s] of...'
138
138
Review by Chester Chumley
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello loudermilk

This starts off appearing to be a quite normal tale of growing up in a big city in America. Around the third paragraph it takes a turn for the surreal, but even after this point the story returns to reality, for a while.

The story follows a boy called Jackie whose traumatic life leads him to the army and possibly some kind of mental breakdown.

There are some nice touches of dark humour in the piece, including the title and the very last line. I think there are even a few traces of satire in the mix too.

This is a fun read, something a little different.

Suggestions

I didn't spot any errors.

I do feel the piece could work well in a longer format, if you could maintain the style and quality of it you could tell us more about Jackie's life. Saying that, it's a good read as it is anyway.
139
139
Review of Got Milk?  
Review by Chester Chumley
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I like to read a good dialogue piece once in a while. The style certainly seems to lend itself to comedy, that's for sure.

The description on Milk Dog appealed to me, and that's how I found myself here.

The dialogue flowed along nicely, with many an amusing moment. Billy comes across as a slightly exagerated version of an innocent, yet mischvious, child. His father, on the other hand, seems long suffering and, whilst he is aware of Billy's antics, they never cease to surprise him.

I think this story would have been improved if I didn't find Milk Dog first, it kinda gave away the whole joke, but this was still a fun and well presented read.

'Oh my god!' technically god should have a capital letter, personally I don't always give it one, since it isn't automatically a name.
140
140
Review by Chester Chumley
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello kiyasama

I liked your use of simile in the opening paragraph. Describing the apparition of death as having brown hair 'like chestnuts roasting on an open fire' provides quite a contrast.

'the biting cold that threatens to freeze my bones.' This description of the cold really stood out too.

A very interesting and dark piece, this one. A woman is seduced by death. Death to her is inviting, even to the point of being sensual, but she knows she must resist.

The ending of this story is creepy. The tone suggests something apocalyptic is takin place, a war to end the world maybe. Or is the narrator just insane? It's hard to tell really.

This a highly imaginative and well executed story. A tale of life and death - literally. Keep up the good work.

Suggestions

'worlds floating with his depths' within.
141
141
Review of Betty Lynn  
Review by Chester Chumley
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This was an interesting read.

I like the way you played with perception in the piece. It changed from third person of Dale, to first person internal monologue, to thrid person of his wife and switches between them. This kept me on my twos, but it followed along quite nicely. I'd say you kept a lot of plates spinning in this one.

The story is concerned with a hard-working guy who is trying to earn faster than his wife can spend, and is losing. For this reason your change between his internal monologue and her evening is very effective. It demonstrates the contrast very well.

The characters in the story are quickly developed and quite believable in their own way. I can picture Dale as having the determination and stamina to save himself in this way. He seems to have the patience of a glacier anyway.

I also liked the mystry you built up at the start with Dale's injury remaining unexplained for a good bit into the story. This hooked my interest right at the start.

Overall a great read, especially for fans of dark humour, or anyone whose wife spends too much money.

Suggestions

'is $30.00 to much?' wrong too there Bob.

'move to fast' and again. Looks like you may have picked that one up from the prompt, since it's spelt wrong where you've quoted it at the bottom too.
142
142
Review of Neighborly?  
Review by Chester Chumley
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello E E Coder

Thanks for entering
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1115385 by Not Available.


This was an interesting and disturbing read. It made me think about what it would really have been like in the wake of Katrina. Somehow the name just doesn’t sit right with the devastation. Does it?

The piece reads like a comment on Human Nature. For instance American gun laws: is the guy safer having a gun of his own to defend against looters etc. or is the fact that guns are so available only going to make a situation like this one worse?

I’m sure events like this one, and worse, occurred in the aftermath of the tragedy.

I think your opening paragraph set the scene well, with just the right attention to detail to add realism. The piece remained very believable throughout.

I thought of Bob as kind of a predator in the piece. He was circling nearer to his prey until he was scared off. Maybe more of a scavenger, lurking in the dark, afraid to show himself.

Overall this was a good read, offering more than meets the eye for a discerning reader.

Suggestions

‘so dim that at first I couldn’t tell’ I wasn’t sure about this section, I’d maybe have written ‘so dim that, at first, I couldn’t tell’.
143
143
Review of The Hunted  
Review by Chester Chumley
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello deniseeeee

Thanks for entering
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1115385 by Not Available.


I liked your opening section. The short hunter/hunted section is very effective, and the paragraph that follows it builds a good sense of mystery and forboding.

the story gives an impression, somehow, of being set at some point in the future. The fact that anescape attempt will lead to the death penalty seems to sugest a harsher form of justice than exists right now.

The pace of the story moves along very quickly.

A lot of things go unanswered in this piece. What did he do to be in prison? Why was no one looking for him during the time he was in deep slumber just outside the fence? How did he break out of his cell and the building? This can be effective, but I think maybe there is a little too much left to the reader's imagination in this instance. clear;y you are hindered by the word limit, but I think you could have squeezed in a little more plot detail.

Overall, this was a fun little read, exciting and engaging.

Suggestions

'I found myself at the edge of a dense forest[,] when I finally awoke from my deep slumber.' Needs comma, as indicated.

'If i was caught' needs a capital I.
144
144
Review by Chester Chumley
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Thanks for submitting this to "Invalid Item" , unfortunately we have a prompt for this round, and a word limit of 350. You don't qualify on either count I'm afraid. I'll review this piece anyway, and suggest you could resubmit it for one of our open prompt rounds which occur from time to time, their word limit is usually 1000, I think you should be ok for that.

This is quite an odd tale, interesting though.

It opens with a man standing, naked, on the roof of his house and gets stranger from that point on.

The style and descriptions have something a little unnatural about them, I felt this fit the story well, giving it the right atmosphere and surreal feel.

The descriptions of the eternal sunset really stand out in the piece, though I do think you could have taken them even further and brought the sunset even more to the fore. I viewed the eternal sunset as a metaphore for the characters, who seem to be held in a similar state of limbo.

Overall, this was a fun read.

Suggestions

I spotted a few errors, which let your piece down some what. Missing commas were a big issue in places.

'I saw somethough out of the corner of my eye' Should be something. You also repeat the phrase 'from the corner of my eye' further down, to be honest I would remove this line entirely.

'outlined her face perfectly in which I could perfectly tell' you've repeated the word 'perfectly' here. I'd change the latter to easily or something to avoid repetition.

'the crazy[,] skitzophrenic' you've mispelt schitzophrenic here, and it needs the comma, as indicated.

'unique and thoughful eyes' thoughtful.

'Did we really just fell off the roof' fall, you also need a question mark when you get to the end of this sentence.

'She lay my head on my shoulder' her head.
145
145
Review of Protect and Serve  
Review by Chester Chumley
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there Bob. Thanks for popping down to play in:

 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1115385 by Not Available.


This is a subtle and clever piece of writing. Excellent use of detail and juxtaposition (the right cheek).

You do a great job of misleading your audience, although I did briefly consider it may turn out as it did but I dismissed it, maybe fooled by an apparent cliche.

The rapore with the dispatcher really added to the piece. It provides realism and a means of displaying the heightened sense of danger and panic.

Overall an excellent little read. I didn't spot any errors.
146
146
Review of Daddy of Steel  
Review by Chester Chumley
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Ernie

Thanks for popping down to
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1115385 by Not Available.


First of all, nice touch making the words required by the prompt in bold, made it very easy to spot them. Also, glad you made it exactly 666 words, nice job of getting into the Halloween spirit.

First thing I noticed, after the above, was teh realism of the dialogue. The child character is very believable, especially her little tell-tale about Momie's bad language. Amusing and the believability adds to the story.

You also created a nice tension surrounding the mother's injury, it reads like something serious or mysterious has happened. Like maybe she is going to turn into a zombie or something, perhaps my overactive Halloween imagination was coming into play?

Overall this is a sweet and amusing tale. You created a sinister air and made great use of characterisation. You fit in the prompt words very smoothly. A great job. Well done. Didn't spot any errors either.
147
147
Review of The Crimson Rose  
Review by Chester Chumley
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hmm, a bit of a crazy story this one. A tale of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder gone mad.

I liked the sense of mystery that grew surrounding the power the crystals seemed to have over Mallory.

You made great use of imagery in the piece and the initial introduction offered effective characterisation of the couple.

'crimson crystals dropped to the bed like hailstones.' Liked this line, good use of alliteration and similie.

I think this piece demonstrates your imagination well, the whole thing is well written and quite unsettling.

I didn't spot any errors in reading, great job.
148
148
Review of Prompt  
Review by Chester Chumley
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Cassaundra

Thanks for entering KevG 's contest.

I think there's a lesson in here, but I can't quite put my finger on it. *Wink* Ah, yes. Hell hath no fury like four women scorned.

This was an entertaining read. You provided a couple of revelations along the way to keep the reader interested.

Good use of alliteration,having the three women called: 'Tiffany, Tracy, Tie'. Very effective, gives a nice tone when read, like they are slapping the no-good-guy's face.

Suggestions:

A few 'careless' errors let you down. Some of these you got right in other places in the story, so I know they were just slip ups.

'tried to move his hands; cut found that his hands were chained up' that should be but, not cut.

'He heard footprints' think footsteps would be better here.

'looked up to the women faces' women's

'He stared at the in disbelief' her, rather than the.

'said Jake, we are all mad that you cheated on us.' You missed your inverted commas for direct speech here.

'wasn’t listening to her to her words' there's an extra 'to her' in there.

'She [saw] him looking at her' missed a word there, I think saw will fit the bill.

'Look[,] I’m sorry that I hurt' needs that comma.
149
149
Review by Chester Chumley
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Great use of detail in this piece. Some of it was pruposely mundane, but all of is was well executed and added to the piece in some subtle manner.

'She pushed at another string bean. She really hated this stuff.' Clever use of juxtaposition there, she seems to be talking about the situation with her parents as well as the string beans.

'She eyed the annoying line of string beans on her plate and without much fanfare, lifted up her plate and flung it against the wall.' Loved this scene, very evocative. It is a great close to the frustrations on display in the first part of the story.

You use sections from Paul McArtney's songs to split the story into parts.

“You threw dinner again?” - funny line, great little piece of characterisation for both brother and sister.

'He was an insomniac and a very good one at that.' Another great line, you're packing them in this time!

'He was lucky in that aspect.' should that be respect?

'She wasn’t planning to tell anyone anything anyway' nice rhythm at the end of this line, great writing.

'There is nothing wrong with my daughter, Mr. Pepper' Is that a Beatles reference slipped in there?

What a gripping read, I think my coffee break finished somewhere in the first third of the story, but I couldn't 'put it down' so to speak.

This is a great story of dysfunctional family, the little song segments were employed very well and fit perfectly into the story.

Great work. My longest review of all time!

Suggestions

'The years had been kind to her and her features betrayed the fact that she was pushing forty come May.' This sentence seems to contradict itself, it says the years have been kind, but she still shows her age in some way. Therefore, I think but would be better than and in this instance.

'we are both getting a divorce' does both not go without saying? I'd have thought so.

'She wasn’t stupid[,] neither was she born yesterday' Needs a comma.

'with a small nod[,] as if hoping to justify Mother’s statement' Needs a comma.

'all expense paid trip around the world' I'd tend to say expenses, but that might just be another 'cultural thing'.

'She knocked on her brother’s door and[,] not waiting for him to reply, she stuck her head in to announce flatly.' Does this need that extra comma? I think it does, since it is 'extra' information.

'Oh, it’s marvellous and wonderful' 2 Ls in marvellous?

'teach children the important of being friendly' Importance.

'she’s very antisocial[,] Mr. and Mrs. Hornsby' Comma?

'. Now, if she had stolen school property or vandalized anything, we can understand' I think it should be could rather than can, changing tenses.

'the Looney bin' Loony.

'Of course[,] Sean had never understood her obsession' comma.

'She finally stopped brushing her hair as the song came to an end. Placing it upon her dresser' I'd change 'it' to 'her cosmetics bag' or whatever 'it' is here, it doesn't quite flow otherwise.

'There were a few but rather expensive perfumes that Mother had bought' I'd change this to 'There were a few, rather expensive, perfumes that Mother had bought '

'Her parents were too far gone in their abyss of distrust and bitterness that they had failed to recognize the needs of their offspring' I'd change too to sp in this sentence.
150
150
Review of All about bats  
Review by Chester Chumley
Rated: E | (4.0)
This one drove me batty. Arf Arf.

An interesting little quiz, full of bat facts.

There's definitely room to expand this one, bats are an interesting and diverse topic after all.

'Which one of these do bats DO not eat?' you have an extra do in there. Remove the second one and put NOT in capitals instead.
245 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 10 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/chesterchumly/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/6