The author has brought out her most intricate thoughts on paper describing how much void can be created in our lives if we shut our minds, hearts, feelings and thoughts.
The author has written this in not so good frame of her mind and this is evident from the "down" feeling the poem brings.
The journal entry is good and the reasons are justified to disconnect from the rest of the world.
The poet expresses his love, feelings, desires and fears through this poem and wishes that his loved one sees it through his expressive eyes.
There is a strong desperation in his voice when he imagines one day without her and fears to live until that day dawns upon him.
A soft love poem fits well with its rhythm.
A wonderful poem written as a token of love and appreciation towards a loved one who is soon to be bonded into a matiral bliss.
I can see that the words are simple yet they carry the message gracefully.
The rhyme and rhythm is catchy and it fits well to the poem,
It was a pleasure reading this beautiful piece of poem full of love.
Scenic visualisations and the world outside the train's window is described as if the world does not care that the train is passing by.
Trees, mountains, feilds, animals, cattles are all living their routine life merrily not worrying about the thunderous train passing by.
Life should be lived in such a way, not worrying about the noisy and disturbing things. We need to live as if we have never lived before.
A good read for this day !!!
The author lacks a life time companionship of a loved one to share his whole life with. This is well refected through the prose which details around his personal life exposing positive and nagative traits.
The author understands that compromise and adjustments play a vital tole in any relationship but at middle age, he is on a threshold where it is really diffcult to change.
It was a emotional read for me to learn the love and courage of a father, who got himself burnt to death to save his child but ashamed of facing her due to his marred body.
Children are stronger than adults and thats what is exactly shown her as Angelina is moulded bravely by her aunt Helene to meet her father face to face.
Auguste's character represents a selfless lover, a caring father and a loving husband since he allowed his ex-wife to stay along with her boyfriend in his own apartment.
A strong message ends this story satisfactorily.
The exposition, narration are put at proper places and the whole thing blends well with the title.
Just a couple of quick edit points:
It was like watching a a very old copy of a black and white film. i I grew to truly love them for they helped me to understand you."
Overall it was a great read !
A phenomenon everyone out here would have experienced once, is shown here very lucidly.
Writer's block can sometimes be so frustrating that we actually start hating ourselves for the blank mind. It feels like a huge void and vacuumed heart. The poet has described his state of mind and heart when nothing seems to go his/her way.
It is a good attempt.
Thanks for sharing this with us !
Keep Writing!
After being hurt and broken down, the author rises strong from the hurt and is all set to bring rough weather to his/her opponent.
The voice and tone is sharp and it cuts like a knife. He wants to make it a point to show the shadows to the opponent in such a cruel way that he wants all the blood and life left in the opponent's body to contaminate and get decayed to death.
A life of a woman journeying from Teens to old age is shown vividly here with colours of joy and sorrows. Life's blended mix of experience makes her experienced and thus there is grace in her thoughts and actions. At the timid age of twelve a young girl delivers her first child ; what else can define the "old fear" better than this.
It is a journey which every woman lives with.
The rhyme and the rhythm is great and the context flows well. The startting lines of the poem are attractive and very descriptive. The reader can actually visualise the life of the lady and experience each and every feeling brought about.
Great Job !!!
Keep Writing and Thanks for sharing this beautiful piece of work.
This is a very comprehensive article, thoroughly made with delicate and minute details.
The way the Wine Industry grew in Australia expanding from the minor domestic production on the East Coast, to catering the world now is really remarkable as a journey of an outgrowing business.
Not only the ideas and opportunities helped cater this business, but also the willingness of millions of people in Australia made this happen.
Today, as this article concludes, Australia exports wines to 80 countries across the globe and is liked by all. This journey is one of its kind with its specific ups and downs. Who doesnt have pitfalls. But it has grown leaps and bounds learning from each fall.
The research done on this article is extensive. The hard work has payed off well.
I enjoyed reading this gaining knowledge about a business fast growing in the southern hemisphere.
The lyrical rhythm describes the author's idea of what females are all about. Soft and tender they may be, but they are the possessors of strongest souls.
There is a note of comparision and having a winning edge all through the lyric; which is nice.
May be you can edit the construction into stanzas and it not only look nice but also have more appeal.
The author makes it a point to tell the world that they are not as timid and a "gift" material, but they are much more than that.
The fact that the poet has dedicated this poem to his/her lost baby proves the depth of his/her pain. Sixth anniversary is way too long a period but nothing seems to pacify this pain. It cuts like a sharp knife each day, not allowing the wound to heal.
I can only imagine the pain.
May Lord give you enough strength to stand by this dark hour and I am sure a sunshine will glorify your future with golden baby dust...
This is so pure !
A mother's love can be brighter than the sunlight, more soothing than the moonlit night.
The poet is gifting this beautiful poem to her daughter as a token of her bountiful love and endless appreciation for being there for her.
The poetess wants the world to know how blessed her life is with a motherhood so charming.
It is a pleasure to read it, re-read it , re-read and come back to it again and again.
I like the way the poet has displayed emotions running inside a woman who has taken up prostitution as a profession by compulsions of survival.
The woman inside her longs for a perfect family, love and care. This man she meets, makes her feel special and the next morning, the curtains open upon reality and she finds that she is the woman who is used by many men around. A night prior to this morning was like a dream sequence!
I liked reading it. The poet has churned the heart of the woman and woven her feelings inside this beautiful poem.
Oh ! When I was reading this slowly, I found that everyone of us is knitted in a cob-web of dangling carrots. What I could picturise was that a man riding on a donkey and showing him a carrot at a distance of the hunter's length. That man is the management system of an organisation, the donkey is the employee and the carrot is the hope. Thus the donkey toils day and night, runs faster than its speed to catch up with the carrot but ends up getting a bruised bum.
The only way to come out of this rat race is to know the key to break the web. And that is through professional diploamtism and sticking to the basics of hatred, despair and sins like that. Not good ethically but serves as food for employees.
Correct me if I am wrong but I really imagined the corporate world SInce the year end is approaching with appraisals on the threshold LOL...
A great read I must say !
A heartbroken poet cannot believe that his life is shattered into pieces. Things were better a couple of days ago, but that was an illusion. The reality is far too sour than it was portrayed. This hurts the most when the poet states that he is "Full of Knowledge ; yet Regretful".
What a contrast ! Having gained knowledge (of anything), a person becomes full, but here in this case the poet is dejected.
But the good part is that the poet shows conviction in his ownself and schedules himself for a healing therapy that involves time and patience. It is difficult but it is the only way to come out of this dreadful situation.
The tone is sad and thoughts are flowing well. The context is serving the crux of the poem very well.
This is a sweet love poem giving a feel that it is written instantly by the poet.
The tone is passionate and the words express the feelings well.
It is so lucid to understand that rhyme and rhythm does not bother the reader.
The flow is lyrical, feels like a song.
Suggestions : A life worth nothing before,
soon turned into one worth something
"something" is an abstract word here. Try to make it sound concrete. Give some example and see the way it beautifies your poem.
This suggestion comes to you from me as a reader and not a critic. Please feel free to discard it if you do not agree.
Overall experience while reading this creative work of yours was a good one.
This is a good way to tell a story in just 50 words and yet highlght the gist FLAMES.
Wonderful imagery is used here with great use of adjectives.
A secret kept within himself costs the author lonliness for a lifetime as the city burns to ashes, engulfing everything.
The author brings out a great learning message hidden beneath the words which says that being selfish not only destroys the surroundings but also the life. It is indeed a flame that blackens everything.
Series of emotions led by actions, a series of actions led by emotions.. this poem is a good mix of anger and its after wrath brining a contrasting laughter.
The poet expresses his anger by punching a pillow and the bursting of the pillow into cotton feather subdues the anger as it brings amusing laughter. A good up and down of emotions are brought here.
Just in eight words the poet describes what it is to experience Writer's Block. The fact that the poet writes a peom about writer's block is the first step to overcome the block.
I liked the expression "Ruthless Words".
A good poem describing the title suitably.
Instead of indulging in music played on instruments, the poet choses to leave back his walkman and try his hand at experiencing the music of nature, the music of life on his morning walk.
The imagery used is great as the reader is able to visualise the misty morning with shades of golden rays washing everything.
Poet explains Judy's deep blue eyes through this very imagery Haiku where the depth of the eyes are unmeasurable parameter. It is the most cherished treasure of the poet's life and there is something about her eyes that attracts him/her to write a poem on it.
The feeling flowing through this poem is entirely wrapped in love and appreciation, in adoration and awe.
Hey Jaya, you have beautifully brought out the fact that The Supremem Power is the one to get us sailing. Even if we have all the might to fight the world, it will be only HIS command to get us to the winning streak.
All the happiness, love, peace can be effortlessly brought into our lives washing away all the negatives if HE is worshipped with a pure heart and selfless prayer.
A light shining from his heart spreads the brightness forever.
A great read once again. I always enjoy reading your work. It comes out so pure.
So far so good.. I am waiting for the next chapter to know who is at the door.
A good read till now. The plot is well described and consistent. The story flows well.
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