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Welcome to your Rogue review
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Disclaimer: The purpose of this review is to offer my opinion as one writer to another. As a writer I understand how precious a piece of work can be to it's creator so my opinion comes with all the respect due to a fellow writer. I do not claim to be an expert nor do I assume to know better than anyone else what work's and what doesn't. I offer my opinion as a means of supporting you in your writing journey. If you have any questions or comments regarding my review please feel free to email me. May your pen dance with joy as you weave your wonderful tale.
Unless otherwise specified this review is for this piece only. If it is a chapter of a book then I am reviewing this chapter only. Your final rating is based on the average of all the scores given throughout this review. I will give you a rating between 1 and 5 for the following categories.
1. The Creation - ( 3/5)
You write of a man who is haunted by a female face in his dreams. Then he sees a young girl with the same face and follows her. This story was a little disturbing to me because the main character is forty-five and the girl he follows is young and at school. What is more, the story suggests that because he is decent looking and rich that this behavior was acceptable. I am not sure where you were going with this story but it seems incomplete.
2. The Chores - (1.5 /5)
This story is full of spelling errors and poor punctuation. This website provides a spell checker and there are many websites that can help with grammar and punctuation. Many of the sentences are poorly constructed and do not make sense. There is a lot of work required to bring this story up to scratch.
Here are some examples.
You wrote:
Joe is 45 and single. Had girl friends but none worked for him. He is complex,confused and intelligent. He is talented and is well settled. Lives in a nice posh apartment in Mumbai.
Joe is forty-five years old, single and lives in an expensive apartment in Mumbai. He is intelligent, talented and well-settled. In spite of these facts, Joe is confused after having dated many women but not finding the right one.
This is your dialog.
Its 8 in the mornning and his phone is ringing. Its his mom calling.
"Hi dear how r u", Mom i'm good"
" Is the packing done", "Ya mom"
"Mom I will be talking to you later, bye"
"Joe wait, I just wanted to tell about this call , I got yesterday".
"It was from some Mr Mattew, he is looking for a Match for his daughter".
"She is 35, her husband died 3 years back in an accident"
"Mom, enough, please, don't ruin my day,I am keeping the phone, bye take care".
"Ok son, bye take care and do not forget to call sam, it his aninversary today".
This is how it ought to be written.
It is eight a.m. and his phone is ringing. It's his mom calling.
"Hi, dear, how are you?" Asked his mom.
"I'm good, Mom."
"Is the packing done?"
"Ya, Mom. Look, Mom, I'll call you later, okay?"
"Joe, wait. I just wanted to tell about this call I got yesterday. It was from someone called Mr Matthew, he is looking for a match for his daughter. She is thirty-five, her husband died three years back in an accident."
"Mom, enough, please, don't ruin my day. I am keeping the phone turned off, bye, take care,"
"Okay, Son, bye, take care and do not forget to call Sam; it's his anniversary today."
3. The Reception - ( 2/5)
Creating a short story is a difficult job, and one I can see you struggle with. Well done for a good effort but as it stands, this story is incomplete. When writing short stories, it is important that things move along at a consistent pace. Unlike novels, where you can dedicate a whole chapter to a few minor events, short stories require a lot more action in a smaller space and information regarding characters should be shown rather than told and spread throughout the story instead of crammed into the first few lines. I am happy to offer any assistance I can or link you to someone else if you want. Keeping working on your writing skills as ever bit you learn moves you further to successful writing.
I have included a few basic pointers that may help you construct short stories that are exciting and successful.
The basic elements of a short story are:
• plot: the events that happen and how they are arranged.
Chose events that are interesting, moving, dynamic or meaningful.
• setting: where things happen
Use imagery and descriptions to build a three dimensional world.
• characters: the people in the story
Create characters that will work well within your story. Think about what they look like, what their interests are, how they would react to situations.
• point of view and narrative voice: whose point of view the story is told from and the way the author chooses to tell it
Choose one point of view and stay with it.
• types of prose: exposition, dialogue and other kinds of writing and their uses
Always separate narration and dialog. Make sure your narration is clear.
• scenes and half-scenes: when and how to dramatize the story
Develop your scenes as though you were planning a day trip. Decide what will happen first and why
• form and structure: what shape the narrative has and how the pieces fit together
Be consistent with your structure
• types of story: stories can be about characters, ideas and other things
Decide what it is you want to show your reader.
• genre: categories for fiction, including things like mysteries or fantasy or realism
This is where you decide on the flavor of your story
• reading and revision: the importance of reading other people's work, and how to make yours better
The most effective way to learn how to write well is by reading. Read, read, read...
Final Rating - (2.1 /5)
*Score is based on Average of the three categories
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