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This is my blog. I just went through a divorce; it was the worst thing that has yet to happen to me. This is me dealing with it and life. It's my blog; I write about what I want. I hope you enjoy. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** The above was me about three years ago. It is the most up to date digital photo I have.
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| To me, valentine's day is romance, forced romance, yes. However, it is still romance because women, well, after yesterday's comments, some women really look forward to this day. (Which is sad in a whole other manner.) So, I will give some of my thoughts on romance. Now, a disclaimer is necessary. I am terrible at romance. That is not being modest, it is just the truth. I find a candle lit dinner, flowers and a box of chocolates cheesy. So, rate me according to your own tastes, and if you have any advice, feel free to leave it. However, my policy on advice is as always, read with an open mind, remember, use if useful, toss if not. So, begins Grifter   's rules of romance:First, true romance should be genuine, not forced. It should be because I can't go another day without making her feel, the way she makes me feel. This is part of the problem with Valentine's Day. I think we all can tell when someone is going through the motions and has no heart in it. If it's not genuine, it's not romance. Second, it should be a surprise. If it's expected, it's not genuine. Again, this is part of my psuedo-beef with V-day. In my experience, it is appreciated more if she is not expecting it. It shows her that she is special everyday, not just the marketed holidays. Third, part of the romantic evening should be a surprise. Standing in the kitchen in nothing but a g-string, only works for women. Trust me on this. Men, if you want to make her laugh, put on a g-string and surprise your woman. (That is unless you look like Pumpkin Butt.) No, what I mean is this, go to a restaurant beforehand, give the maitre'd a rose to be delivered to your date when you get to the restaurant. Or, take the afternoon off, go home and make her favorite meal for her (if you don't do this regularly). Or, make her a powerpoint presentation that features pictures of you and her. Include little snippets of why this memory is important to you. Make sure they are positive memories, too. A picture of her crying and you beaming because you finally won an argument, doesn't work. That picture of you two picking apples, where you kissed her for the first time, does. Trust me, they like that stuff. Fourth, money is not a factor. Spend it or don't. Either way, DON'T TALK ABOUT IT. Even if she brings it up, steer the conversation away from it. Fifth and finally, tailor it to her. A homemade card is more special than a store bought card. But I know we're all busy out there. So, how do you find the time? I don't know, but you should; she's worth it. (Seriously, you know how annoying you are. Who else is going to put up with you?) Anyways, find a small way to show her that you pay attention to her. She likes Giraffes, buy her a stuffed Giraffe, or send her a picture of a Giraffe. And so ends, another lesson from a divorced guy. Remember, I know nothing so take my advice at your own peril.  Grifter Courage doesn't roar. It's that quiet voice at the end of the day that whispers, "I will begin again, tomorrow." |
| So, I've just been informed that there is some sort of psuedo-holiday coming up in two days. It has to do with hearts from what I understand. Hearts swelling, hearts breaking and for those unlucky ones, hearts stopping. I'm a little shady on it, but I think this holiday started with some sort of massacre, or the massacre started because of the holiday. Either way, it's a massacre. So, I know that Bloggville is waiting with baited breath to know what I will be doing on this most commercial of holidays. (Did I just see you roll your eyes?) I will be doing nothing. That's right...not a damn thing. I'll work, then hit the gym, and then go home and go to sleep. (I know; I live a rock star's life, don't I?) So, am I avoiding going out because I'm a newly divorced man? Nope. I avoid this holiday because I hate it. Why does one day out of the year have to arbitrarily be about love? First of all, shouldn't every day be about love? (In a nasally, know-it-all tone)"Well, Eric, what about all the married men who take their wives for granted every day of the year? Shouldn't they have one day that is a reminder of what their wives mean to them?" (Cough) (Sorry, nasally tone didn't want to go away.) Yes, it is called your wedding anniversary. Why should everyone go out and buy candies, jewelry and flowers just because it says so on the calendar? I understand women love this. It is romantic and wonderful. But honestly, what is more romantic? When your man/woman/other makes a dinner date with flowers because the calendar says this is romance day? Or is it more romantic that your mate plans a romantic evening just because it's Tuesday and you deserve it? Of course, I hate this holiday because ultimately, I hate being told what to do. I feel this holiday is Hallmark and FTD florists telling me to buy my gal something. If I don't, then I should be shot out of a cannon into the sun while my mother looks away in shame. But that's my own personal psychosis. And for the sake of honesty, every time I am in a relationship, I do have plans for this day. I hide my hate and vitriole for this so stupid of holidays to show my date how wonderful I think she is. Because, hey, I'm still a sucker for a pretty smile, and pretty smiles always find a way to show themselves when flowers are around. Oh and don't even get me started on how much I hate giving flowers. Here, let me express my love by handing you dying plants and the stuffed skin of a dead bear. I guess it's romantic in the true sense of the word. It is just as romantic as a beheading. (Because true knights, and therefore true men, can only be killed by a beheading. (See Monty Python's Holy Grail)) I hated this day before I began dating, and I will hate it until I shuffle loose this mortal coil (by beheading, of course, in a sports bar on my motorcycle, 'cause I'm all man, baby). But I guess, if I'm honest, where would I be without this day? I mean, what other day could cause such a rant? Well, maybe flag day, but that's for another post. Well, maybe I could take the night alone on this holiday to learn a sense of humor. Maybe then I could think of a funny way to end this sarcastic rant. Oh, I just thought of something...no, no, that was just gas. Damn. By the way: If I wasn't clear enough, this is a joke!!! Everybody have a great day of love. I know I surely will. P.P.S.: Please note that I was not making fun of any motorcycle riding gentlemen who may or may not read my blog. I just couldn't find a way to fit a corvette into a sports bar! Grifter Courage doesn't roar. It's that quiet voice at the end of the day that whispers, "I will begin again, tomorrow." |
| Today, I went with my father to Barnes and Noble. I was shopping for a book by Justina Robson. They had one copy at the store that I went to. It had torn and bent pages. The rear cover was torn a little too. I hate books that look like that. If I'm going to buy a book, I like it to look like it just rolled off the production line. I have books in my personal library that you would swear haven't been touched. I keep my books looking pristine and new. So, I might be a little uptight when it comes to books. But, that's just me. I hate most libraries because the books are worn used and not cared for. Books are so important to me. They contain knowledge, and they are the art of society. Well, I hope you're all having a great weekend. Grifter Courage doesn't roar. It's that quiet voice at the end of the day that whispers, "I will begin again, tomorrow." |
| Yay!!! The weekend's here. Well, I lost 1.4 lbs this week, so after the travel, I am down a total of....1.4 lbs. But here's hoping next week will be better! Have a great weekend everyone! Grifter Courage doesn't roar. It's that quiet voice at the end of the day that whispers, "I will begin again, tomorrow." |
| Back when I was working with a therapist through this divorce. She told me that I need to determine what I want in a potential mate. Now, I'm not looking for a mate, but while dating, I need to think about what I want and what I think is important. So, here is what I want IF I get married, or even in just a long term relationship, again. Scroll down to find out. I DON'T KNOW!!!! But I have some ideas. I was listening to that Sugarland song, where she says something to the affect of I gave you the best of me, so why does she always get the best of you. That's something I would like. I would like to hear someone tell me that they are giving me the best of them. But I also want to be more than words. I have a tendency to date people that are always hedging their bets. They hold something back; they never jump into the relationship with both feet. Even my ex-wife kept a lot of our possessions separate, things weren't ours. They were hers or mine. I want a woman who will do what I want as much as we do what she wants! You know, I don't mind shopping for shoes or dresses or makeup. I like shopping for books, and I could (and have) spend hours in a bookstore. I can go from one bookstore to the next without any problem like women can go from one shoe store to the next. If I don't complain about you trying on every pair of shoes in a mall, don't complain about going into a bookstore with me. I want to be able to go to the opera one night and watch the Ultimate Fighting Championships the next. (Okay, so this isn't necessarily a relationship thing; it's just something I want.  )I want a woman who believes that a relationship is 50% take and 100% give for BOTH partners. Because I will help anyone do what it takes to accomplish their dreams, and I would like someone who cares about me enough to help me accomplish mine. Who knows if that's out there or not? I don't, but while I'm dating, I'm going to look for it. But those wants aren't going to go away. I'm not going to sacrifice them, this time around. I can't. Grifter Courage doesn't roar. It's that quiet voice at the end of the day that whispers, "I will begin again, tomorrow." |
| Well, I am really enjoying my poetry class. There have been no real lessons to speak of, but I think I'm learning a lot. Last night was interesting. Everybody was commenting and critiquing each other's poems with ease. When they got to my poem, there was a huge pause, and no one wanted to say anything. Disheartening to say the least. Oh well. But yesterday before class, I wrote two poems. I don't know which one to turn in. They are both structured poems, the first being obvious, the second not so obvious. My fears are that A is too sentimental, and/or not enough work. My other fear is that no one will read B top - bottom, then bottom to top. What do you think? A or B? A Muscles Burning - A Pantoum Muscles burn, arms tremble But I have to push it up One more time, in order To see my kids graduate. I have to push it Just ten more minutes To watch my kids graduate With strong minds. Just ten more minutes on My hamster's wheel Using a strong mind To gain strength of heart. This hamster's wheel Goes round and round To gain strength of heart. No matter what, I have to finish! I go round and round For my future, for long life. No matter what I have to finish These last five minutes of weights. For my future, for a longer life, I sweat, ache in this gym. These last five minutes of weights, To be there as they grow. I sweat, ache in this gym, One more time, in order To be there as they grow, Muscles burn, arms tremble. B Bottom to Top She lives in the castle down the street Held prisoner by a narrow minded ogre, From a life with her knight in dented armor. She seeks, yearns, pleads for an escape Sitting framed in the picture window, Day by day dreaming of more, Wondering who keeps her here, Ogres or savior knights. These men are always Wanting or denying her Beauty. Either of them Seeks to bottle her Free her. The ogre Screams threats to The knight errant The bad guy, also known as, The ogre’s worst fear, About to prove true. Her dreams of the flesh are Beneath a lacy dress Grifter Courage doesn't roar. It's that quiet voice at the end of the day that whispers, "I will begin again, tomorrow." |
| Well, The trip up to the North-West was a resounding success. I managed to get work done and schmooze my way into another manager's good graces. I ate way too much and put back on the weight I lost the week before. But, hey, I had to eat that well. When again will I get authentic Pho Noodle soup? There are places here in St. Louis that have the Vietnamese soup, but from what I'm told, they're nowhere near as good as Seattle's. I also had a fresh Ahi steak. It was delivered to the restaurant that day. It was awesome. In fact, for the sake of truthfulness, I will tell you that I hate seafood. I hate it. I don't eat fish; any type of shrimp is slightly worse than live bugs and clams, oysters or mussels are just basically blobs of phlegm. I have begun eating sushi here in St. Louis, but I eat tuna, salmon and crab. Even those are in a rice roll with vegetables. However, a friend of mine in college told me that if I ever made it to Seattle, I had to eat their seafood. She said it was completely different than anything I could get here. So, I gave it a shot. My first night there, I had coconut fried shrimp, which was great. (BTW, I hate coconut, too.) Then, I had seafood fettucine. The whitefish and salmon were good. The clams were okay, but the prawns were nasty. The texture and flavor just gave me the willies. I ate both of the prawns served to me, though. Waste not, and all of that. The second night, we had pizza from a wood fired, brick oven at a micro brewery. It was great. It was wonderful, especially the porter. The night after that we went to the Red Hook brewery. I had a Chicken Chipolte sandwich that was dino-mite! The porter there was excellent as well! Then, I had my medium-rare ahi steak. I found out that for an ahi steak, rare is just right. Medium rare is overcooked with a light pinot noir. Then, I called everybody's favorite bugzy is baaaccck!! that night to talk. It was a romp of a good time. She is one stressed gal, and she giggles a lot, which is never a bad thing.So, the trip was a success. I worked hard, so very hard, and I ate a ton and drank a ton. But, I worked my way into my co-workers good graces, well, even more. It was a great time, and I already started lobbying for a trip back in april or this summer sometime. I didn't get to see any tourist places, but I got to see where the world's best commercial airplanes are built. I also got to see the Boeing Dreamliner. It's this massive plane that carries fuselage sections of other planes inside it. The aft part of the fuselage of this plane opens like a door. It is an amazing feat of engineering, and I tip my hat off to those Boeing engineers who put that together. Next time, maybe I see the space needle or that fish market where they throw the fish. Next time, maybe I meet some Canadians. Who knows? Grifter Courage doesn't roar. It's that quiet voice at the end of the day that whispers, "I will begin again, tomorrow." |
| Trip's back on...business approved it. Monday, I'll be in Seattle!!!! Weight: 221.4 lbs loss of 1.6 lbs! Grifter Courage doesn't roar. It's that quiet voice at the end of the day that whispers, "I will begin again, tomorrow." |
| The trip has been cancelled! At least for now! I cursed myself by posting it on my blog! It is going to be rescheduled, but who knows when. The budgets and all that stuff I don't see were not set up for this trip. So, back to the drawing board. Have a great day. Today at 2, I weigh myself to see if the Biggest Loser competition is helping. Wish me luck! Grifter Courage doesn't roar. It's that quiet voice at the end of the day that whispers, "I will begin again, tomorrow." |
| Next week, I'm traveling to Seattle for work. This should be a great time. I've never travelled for this company before, and I'm looking forward to seeing a new city. It's going to be a lot of work, and I'm going to be busy and exhausted. I don't know how much I'll be able to come on here and blog next week. I'm so excited because I'll be travelling with some of the higher ups. I'm just a peon in this company, but some of my skills have been recognized. So, I am fit to travel with this group and give opinions and use my knowledge and limited experience to help bring work back to St. Louis. I am very excited, and I can't wait. Grifter Courage doesn't roar. It's that quiet voice at the end of the day that whispers, "I will begin again, tomorrow." |
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