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Are You Listening???

by Charlie ~

Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as

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#2030442 by Not Available.

and

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#1974611 by Not Available.

I blog for things like

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FORUM

30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

(13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by FivetricksterTreats

FORUM

JAFBG

(XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
#2094931 by Elisa, Stik-or-Treat

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

👀intu the Darkness

Jul 22, 2023 at 8:05am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey Char, It's been a while since I've touched base with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The last thing people should say is everyone loses their grandparents eventually, or it will get better with time. It's the last thing you want to hear when you're hurting. Death sucks, long-lasting illness sucks! Having to decide to let the person go to keep them from suffering REALLY SUCKS! I think the only ones who can understand truly just how much are those who have had to make that decision. My heart breaks for you.

I'm not religious, but I do have a strong faith in God. I call myself spiritual because I don't agree with all the rules and regulations of religion. I do know I will see my family and friends again, and this is a great comfort. I can only imagine how much more painful the death of loved ones is without this belief. But you're right, it can't be faked. But it is a beautiful thing.

Having mental health issues during times like this makes it even harder to go through. I know what you mean about seeing things that aren't there. I'd walk into a room, and say, "Where's Star?" and she would be sitting right in front of me. When I looked, I swear I saw an empty chair. The mind is crazy. It gives new meaning to a mind of its own

Some time has passed since you wrote this. I don't know when you'll see this but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending good energy your way. I hope you're doing better. I look forward to hearing from you.

Aiva Raine

Mar 28, 2023 at 9:40pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm sorry for your loss. I know they are shitty sounding words that don't even attempt to fill or fix, but they're meant in sincerity.

Having lost several people the best advice I was ever given was when life gets too hard- take it at your own pace. If a day is too much- cope with an hour at a time. If that's too much, take it ten minutes at a time. If that's too much- then you deal with one minute at a time. Work through life and grief at your pace. And don't ever feel guilty because you feel sad. And if you can- find one positive in each chunk of time- even if it's something as little as the beauty of sunlight on a leaf or the softness of your shirt. And ask for help if you need it.

Elle

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:29pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Aw, Charlie, I'm so sorry. It's a shit thing to go through whether it's sudden or not. And just because everyone goes through it, doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't take into account that you were closer to them than your parents. Nobody says 'Oh, everyone loses their parents eventually' do they? Surely not. And that's what's happened here really. I'm actually glad you've got an appointment with a professional tomorrow, because they might be able to help you with getting through that initial devastation.

When my dad lost his mother, he really struggled with his own lack of religion. As you say, there is some comfort in believing they've gone to a better place, been reunited with loved ones, that you'll see them again, and so on. For most of my life, Dad would say 'Religion is a crutch for the weak', but I definitely saw him struggle with the finality of it when he lost his mother, the person he was probably closest to.

My thoughts are with you.

1 Like

~Minja~

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Crazy stuff, grief. If you want to talk about it, message me always.

1 Like

QPdoll

Mar 7, 2023 at 6:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I understand what you mean about wanting to tell your grandmother something. I did the same thing after my grandmother passed. I was at home and the first thing I thought was to call grandma. I picked up the phone and realized that she wouldn't answer. It's so tough losing your grandparents, especially as close as you were. I don't have any magic words, but take care of yourself. It's what they would want.

1 Like

Waltz in the Lonesome October

Mar 6, 2023 at 10:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

1 Like

Anni Pumpkin

Mar 6, 2023 at 9:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I know it doesn't help any, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine much worse than losing a parent or parental figure. They represent stability and safety, you grew up with them, and you've relied on them for most, if not all, of your life. You're right, the initial devastation will fade and things won't feel so fresh. But, as you know, grief never really goes away. It just becomes a permanent part of you.

It's horrible that you only got a couple days worth of bereavement! That's not even long enough for the shock to wear off enough to START grieving. I hope you have the support of someone else in your life to help you through this dark time. Take it easy on yourself in the mean time, that's all you really can do. Taking care of your physical self, eating and sleeping, is critical. Sleep deprivation and hunger will make things feel a million times worse than they actually are (which, for the record, is already pretty bad).

1 Like

Cinn

Feb 20, 2023 at 9:34pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I actually pretty much love this one. Nice, man...

Cinn

Feb 19, 2023 at 11:07am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'd say that more freedom for participants would attract more people. One obvious example that I've never understood is fiction vs poetry. If it's an activity, not a contest, why not allow people to explore whatever the theme of your activity is with whatever type of writing that want to do?

I've actually written for countless contests/activities over the years but never entered... because they inspired me, but I don't fit within the guidelines. Max rating too low, items required (book entries only over here), no poetry accepted, etc.

I know well why people restrict writers' freedom, but they're also restricting the number of participants they'll get. I still just take the inspiration where I can get it.

Elisa, Stik-or-Treat

Feb 19, 2023 at 10:26am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I've had decent participation with Journalistic Intentions (even though I know my prompts are sometimes considered "difficult"). I do think that there's been a bit of a shift in regards to contests and activities, where people have been more open to admitting they find some setups too restricting or that they feel intimidated by contests. I would love to be in discussions to address those issues, but so far I haven't been invited.

November 11, 2019 at 12:04am

#969404

Version 148.0

Artist: Joni Mitchell
Song: A Case of You
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

Prompt via "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" : Today, your prompt is one word: Transformation.

Cool, I respect that.

I can see a few different directions this prompt could go. Transformation of seasons, transformation of caterpillars into butterflies.

Of course, I'm going to make it overly personal and make everyone feel uncomfortable.

I think I'm always transforming into new versions of myself. Note that I didn't say better versions of myself, just... different versions. I can't speak for any other ages, but I think your 20s are a pretty transformative time. I read shit I wrote 5 years ago and don't even remember it. It doesn't sound like me. You could probably throw some of my poems in front of me and I'd be like, "I've never seen that before in my life, officer."

That's what I love about writing though. I can go back and read my poetry and I'm instantly transported to another time. I won't drown you in poetry or anything, but just for example, I remember this day so clearly because of this poem: "Invalid Entry"

.

It 4+ years ago, first semester of college. I had only been in classes for probably about 9 weeks total at that point. I was going to a small community college then to take basic math classes and general ed courses that I'd later use to transfer to a 4-year university. My classes let out in the late afternoon and it was a fairly nice day for March. Like 50F and sunny.

The poem is basically just me talking about unwinding on my drive home from classes on that day, so it's not super important, but the day is immortalized forever for me because I wrote a poem about it. And it's important because that day was part of my transformation. I had just started university, I was trying to get used to studying and balancing it with partying, which I did all the time back then.

I've transformed since then. I'm not the same person who wrote that poem in 2015. Obviously I did make the transformation from professional partier to professional student because I'm getting ready to graduate now, but it has been way, way rougher than March 2015 me could have possibly fathomed.

I mean, that against 1 year later... "Invalid Entry"

.

My mind was clearly in a totally different place. Not that I didn't write similar stuff the year prior, but I seemed to only write stuff like that and then, now, nothing at all aside from blog entries. In fact, I'm pretty sure the only poem I wrote this year was actually for an "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS"

prompt:

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#2190761 by Not Available.

And we can all see how dark that one is.

What I'm trying to say is that we all go through transformations in life. Back in 2014 when I joined WDC, I was probably a lot more "fun" than I am now. My mindset was more positive because I was under way less stress and my brain hadn't yet latched onto all the things it has latched onto now.

As I make yet another transformation from professional student to professional financier, or wherever I land, I fully expect to because a different person. My blog entries in 2021 (assuming I'm around then) will probably look nothing like the entries from 2019. People change. Their wants and needs change. The people they hang around with changes.

I can only hope that my next iteration of myself is a bit more upbeat than what I'm currently working with. I think that's one of my worst realizations... knowing that I'm stuck with myself forever. I'm never going to be someone who has less issues. I can't erase my history. I can't fix my mind. Hope is a dangerous thing, but I do hope that I can look back in a year or two or three and have a clearer perspective, at the very least.

Oh, and I should try to write some poetry sometime.

You are in my blood like holy wine
You taste so bitter and so sweet

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