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Wed, Nov 19, 2025

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Are You Listening???

by Charlie ~

Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as

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#2030442 by Not Available.

and

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I blog for things like

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FORUM

30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

(13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by Fivesixer

FORUM

JAFBG

(XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
#2094931 by Turkey DrumStik

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

🦃 intuey Grateful & Blessed

Jul 22, 2023 at 8:05am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey Char, It's been a while since I've touched base with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The last thing people should say is everyone loses their grandparents eventually, or it will get better with time. It's the last thing you want to hear when you're hurting. Death sucks, long-lasting illness sucks! Having to decide to let the person go to keep them from suffering REALLY SUCKS! I think the only ones who can understand truly just how much are those who have had to make that decision. My heart breaks for you.

I'm not religious, but I do have a strong faith in God. I call myself spiritual because I don't agree with all the rules and regulations of religion. I do know I will see my family and friends again, and this is a great comfort. I can only imagine how much more painful the death of loved ones is without this belief. But you're right, it can't be faked. But it is a beautiful thing.

Having mental health issues during times like this makes it even harder to go through. I know what you mean about seeing things that aren't there. I'd walk into a room, and say, "Where's Star?" and she would be sitting right in front of me. When I looked, I swear I saw an empty chair. The mind is crazy. It gives new meaning to a mind of its own

Some time has passed since you wrote this. I don't know when you'll see this but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending good energy your way. I hope you're doing better. I look forward to hearing from you.

Aiva Raine

Mar 28, 2023 at 9:40pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm sorry for your loss. I know they are shitty sounding words that don't even attempt to fill or fix, but they're meant in sincerity.

Having lost several people the best advice I was ever given was when life gets too hard- take it at your own pace. If a day is too much- cope with an hour at a time. If that's too much, take it ten minutes at a time. If that's too much- then you deal with one minute at a time. Work through life and grief at your pace. And don't ever feel guilty because you feel sad. And if you can- find one positive in each chunk of time- even if it's something as little as the beauty of sunlight on a leaf or the softness of your shirt. And ask for help if you need it.

Elle

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:29pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Aw, Charlie, I'm so sorry. It's a shit thing to go through whether it's sudden or not. And just because everyone goes through it, doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't take into account that you were closer to them than your parents. Nobody says 'Oh, everyone loses their parents eventually' do they? Surely not. And that's what's happened here really. I'm actually glad you've got an appointment with a professional tomorrow, because they might be able to help you with getting through that initial devastation.

When my dad lost his mother, he really struggled with his own lack of religion. As you say, there is some comfort in believing they've gone to a better place, been reunited with loved ones, that you'll see them again, and so on. For most of my life, Dad would say 'Religion is a crutch for the weak', but I definitely saw him struggle with the finality of it when he lost his mother, the person he was probably closest to.

My thoughts are with you.

1 Like

~Minja~

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Crazy stuff, grief. If you want to talk about it, message me always.

1 Like

QPdoll

Mar 7, 2023 at 6:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I understand what you mean about wanting to tell your grandmother something. I did the same thing after my grandmother passed. I was at home and the first thing I thought was to call grandma. I picked up the phone and realized that she wouldn't answer. It's so tough losing your grandparents, especially as close as you were. I don't have any magic words, but take care of yourself. It's what they would want.

1 Like

Robert Waltz

Mar 6, 2023 at 10:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

1 Like

Anni Pumpkin

Mar 6, 2023 at 9:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I know it doesn't help any, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine much worse than losing a parent or parental figure. They represent stability and safety, you grew up with them, and you've relied on them for most, if not all, of your life. You're right, the initial devastation will fade and things won't feel so fresh. But, as you know, grief never really goes away. It just becomes a permanent part of you.

It's horrible that you only got a couple days worth of bereavement! That's not even long enough for the shock to wear off enough to START grieving. I hope you have the support of someone else in your life to help you through this dark time. Take it easy on yourself in the mean time, that's all you really can do. Taking care of your physical self, eating and sleeping, is critical. Sleep deprivation and hunger will make things feel a million times worse than they actually are (which, for the record, is already pretty bad).

1 Like

Cinn

Feb 20, 2023 at 9:34pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I actually pretty much love this one. Nice, man...

Cinn

Feb 19, 2023 at 11:07am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'd say that more freedom for participants would attract more people. One obvious example that I've never understood is fiction vs poetry. If it's an activity, not a contest, why not allow people to explore whatever the theme of your activity is with whatever type of writing that want to do?

I've actually written for countless contests/activities over the years but never entered... because they inspired me, but I don't fit within the guidelines. Max rating too low, items required (book entries only over here), no poetry accepted, etc.

I know well why people restrict writers' freedom, but they're also restricting the number of participants they'll get. I still just take the inspiration where I can get it.

Turkey DrumStik

Feb 19, 2023 at 10:26am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I've had decent participation with Journalistic Intentions (even though I know my prompts are sometimes considered "difficult"). I do think that there's been a bit of a shift in regards to contests and activities, where people have been more open to admitting they find some setups too restricting or that they feel intimidated by contests. I would love to be in discussions to address those issues, but so far I haven't been invited.

May 10, 2020 at 12:10am

#983198

I don't really know you

Artist: Modest Mouse
Song: Float On
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

"30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" Prompt: The prompt today is very simple: Tell us a story about the person you call Mom.

Hmm, well, I guess simple is subjective.

Thanks for the reminder that it's mother's day for the States people!

My mom is a complex character. I have mad respect for her. She was the first person in her entire family to go to college. She got a master's degree with a perfect GPA despite her own parents trying to thwart her every effort to break the cycle of low paying factory work.

Now she has three kids who all have college degrees. I can say without a doubt that she's the person who instilled the importance of education in me. She was very blunt about the way the world works and what needs to be done to fit into it.

That being said, she isn't what you would stereotypically think of as a "mom". She is in no way motherly. She isn't warm. She traveled a lot for work when I was a kid. She'd be gone for days or weeks at a time. I don't think she ever missed her kids, or if she did, she certainly never expressed that.

She's just sincerely not an emotional person. I remember her breaking down in a hotel room once when I was like 13, and I was just thinking, "Shit, what do I do?" Because I'd never really seen her be emotional before.

We did hang out quite a bit. Just the two of us would go see movies on the weekend, have lunch, go shopping, or whatever. She was chill to hang out with because she was the primary money maker in my family and she enjoyed spending it on movie tickets or whatever. There was no thought given to it.

But I don't understand her as a person, I guess.

Despite having this Type A personality, she did nothing to protect me as a kid. I remember looking at her sometimes and just wondering how she could be this strong, take-no-shit kind of person but feel no need to step in at any point.

I see my niece running outside and I get anxiety. Like, I want to go scoop her up and protect her because I'm afraid she's going to trip and scrape her knee. So it's almost worse for me as an adult to be like, how do you not have that instinct to protect?

One thing that stands out to me, I think about it occasionally, is a conversation I witnessed when I was sixteen. I was having lunch with my mom and her co-workers. They were talking about me leaving home (although the phrase 'kicked out' wasn't used specifically) and my mom's co-worker said, "Aren't you going to miss him though? My daughter is going to college in the fall and I cry every time I think about it." And my mom, deadpan and cold as ice, responded with, "Not really. I haven't thought about it."

Not really.

Can you imagine being so indifferent to your own kid?

Either way, these days I get called cold on a fairly regular basis. I'm just surrounded by walls and, to keep everything in place, my brain emotionally shuts off. I don't know how to turn my emotions back on. They mostly just build up until they explode through the cracks in the walls.

And then I'm told I'm like my dad.

Don't worry even if things end up a bit
Too heavy we'll all float on alright

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