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Are You Listening???

by Charlie ~

Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as

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#2030442 by Not Available.

and

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I blog for things like

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FORUM

30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

(13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by Fivesixer

FORUM

JAFBG

(XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
#2094931 by Turkey DrumStik

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

🦃 intuey Grateful & Blessed

Jul 22, 2023 at 8:05am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey Char, It's been a while since I've touched base with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The last thing people should say is everyone loses their grandparents eventually, or it will get better with time. It's the last thing you want to hear when you're hurting. Death sucks, long-lasting illness sucks! Having to decide to let the person go to keep them from suffering REALLY SUCKS! I think the only ones who can understand truly just how much are those who have had to make that decision. My heart breaks for you.

I'm not religious, but I do have a strong faith in God. I call myself spiritual because I don't agree with all the rules and regulations of religion. I do know I will see my family and friends again, and this is a great comfort. I can only imagine how much more painful the death of loved ones is without this belief. But you're right, it can't be faked. But it is a beautiful thing.

Having mental health issues during times like this makes it even harder to go through. I know what you mean about seeing things that aren't there. I'd walk into a room, and say, "Where's Star?" and she would be sitting right in front of me. When I looked, I swear I saw an empty chair. The mind is crazy. It gives new meaning to a mind of its own

Some time has passed since you wrote this. I don't know when you'll see this but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending good energy your way. I hope you're doing better. I look forward to hearing from you.

Aiva Raine

Mar 28, 2023 at 9:40pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm sorry for your loss. I know they are shitty sounding words that don't even attempt to fill or fix, but they're meant in sincerity.

Having lost several people the best advice I was ever given was when life gets too hard- take it at your own pace. If a day is too much- cope with an hour at a time. If that's too much, take it ten minutes at a time. If that's too much- then you deal with one minute at a time. Work through life and grief at your pace. And don't ever feel guilty because you feel sad. And if you can- find one positive in each chunk of time- even if it's something as little as the beauty of sunlight on a leaf or the softness of your shirt. And ask for help if you need it.

Elle

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:29pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Aw, Charlie, I'm so sorry. It's a shit thing to go through whether it's sudden or not. And just because everyone goes through it, doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't take into account that you were closer to them than your parents. Nobody says 'Oh, everyone loses their parents eventually' do they? Surely not. And that's what's happened here really. I'm actually glad you've got an appointment with a professional tomorrow, because they might be able to help you with getting through that initial devastation.

When my dad lost his mother, he really struggled with his own lack of religion. As you say, there is some comfort in believing they've gone to a better place, been reunited with loved ones, that you'll see them again, and so on. For most of my life, Dad would say 'Religion is a crutch for the weak', but I definitely saw him struggle with the finality of it when he lost his mother, the person he was probably closest to.

My thoughts are with you.

1 Like

~Minja~

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Crazy stuff, grief. If you want to talk about it, message me always.

1 Like

QPdoll

Mar 7, 2023 at 6:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I understand what you mean about wanting to tell your grandmother something. I did the same thing after my grandmother passed. I was at home and the first thing I thought was to call grandma. I picked up the phone and realized that she wouldn't answer. It's so tough losing your grandparents, especially as close as you were. I don't have any magic words, but take care of yourself. It's what they would want.

1 Like

Robert Waltz

Mar 6, 2023 at 10:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

1 Like

Anni Pumpkin

Mar 6, 2023 at 9:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I know it doesn't help any, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine much worse than losing a parent or parental figure. They represent stability and safety, you grew up with them, and you've relied on them for most, if not all, of your life. You're right, the initial devastation will fade and things won't feel so fresh. But, as you know, grief never really goes away. It just becomes a permanent part of you.

It's horrible that you only got a couple days worth of bereavement! That's not even long enough for the shock to wear off enough to START grieving. I hope you have the support of someone else in your life to help you through this dark time. Take it easy on yourself in the mean time, that's all you really can do. Taking care of your physical self, eating and sleeping, is critical. Sleep deprivation and hunger will make things feel a million times worse than they actually are (which, for the record, is already pretty bad).

1 Like

Cinn

Feb 20, 2023 at 9:34pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I actually pretty much love this one. Nice, man...

Cinn

Feb 19, 2023 at 11:07am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'd say that more freedom for participants would attract more people. One obvious example that I've never understood is fiction vs poetry. If it's an activity, not a contest, why not allow people to explore whatever the theme of your activity is with whatever type of writing that want to do?

I've actually written for countless contests/activities over the years but never entered... because they inspired me, but I don't fit within the guidelines. Max rating too low, items required (book entries only over here), no poetry accepted, etc.

I know well why people restrict writers' freedom, but they're also restricting the number of participants they'll get. I still just take the inspiration where I can get it.

Turkey DrumStik

Feb 19, 2023 at 10:26am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I've had decent participation with Journalistic Intentions (even though I know my prompts are sometimes considered "difficult"). I do think that there's been a bit of a shift in regards to contests and activities, where people have been more open to admitting they find some setups too restricting or that they feel intimidated by contests. I would love to be in discussions to address those issues, but so far I haven't been invited.

May 8, 2020 at 8:06am

#983065

I value my values

Artist: Blind Pilot
Song: The Story I Heard
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

"30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" Prompt: Take a look at this list of values

Pick your top ten values and rank them based on how important they are to you. Then, write about the values you chose and if any have changed throughout your life.

I'm not feeling great today. Are you ever not sure if you're getting sick or if your soul is just tired? That's me all day today. Which is also why I'm behind on commenting for yesterday's entries. I'll catch up though.

Anyway, I'll jump right in with my Top 10 Values:

1. Resilience.
First thing I noticed is that a lot of words on this list are synonyms, so I tried to pick things that cover a few different values at once. Resilience tops my list today, especially at a time like this where all of us must practice resilience. Life is incredibly difficult. You have to be able to roll with it and bounce back, even especially when it feels impossible.

2. Integrity.
Integrity covers so many things... Honesty, consistency in upholding your values, accountability, responsibility, humility. None of these lists of values would exist without the integrity to adhere to them, right?

3. Awareness.
Also see: cognizance. I'm opinionated about people who lack self-awareness or who are willfully ignorant. It's a big pet peeve of mine. You should constantly be educating and informing yourself. You should be changing your opinions in light of new information. This is a difficult one for people to grasp which is why it's so high on my list.

4. Empathy.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. I've been told that I have trouble expressing empathy in the past, but I swear, it's there. Usually in situations where I'm supposed to be empathetic, I actually feel the other person's feelings so much that my own feelings get in the way. For example, the other person is angry about something and I become enraged on their behalf, which isn't always what's needed. I also think the world would be so much less cruel if empathy were a priority.

5. Passion.
I've mentioned it before, but I love people who are passionate about things. I never understood that "nothing is cool so that makes me cool" vibe that some people have going on. I think it's awesome when someone is excited and talking super fast about something because they're just so passionate about it. I find it to be so endearing.

6. Intuitiveness.
Gotta trust your intuition. I don't know how many bad situations could be avoided if people listened to their gut feelings. That subconscious thinking where you form a natural response is so telling of how you should proceed.

7. Open-mindedness.
I have an inability to get along with people who aren't open-minded. You have to be able to step outside of yourself and recognize that other people come from a different place than you. They have different backgrounds, different cultures, different experiences. When I see someone just mentally shut down because they don't want to acknowledge something that doesn't fit neatly into their expectations, it's infuriating.

8. Consistency.
I have a big issue with unpredictability. I dealt with it my entire childhood and I don't have any interest in dealing with it as an adult. I need consistency in the people around me and there's nothing more frustrating than a friend or relationship that lacks consistency. Hot/cold/hot/cold ad nauseam.

9. Health.
Mental, physical, spiritual, emotional, financial. Whatever it may be, it should probably be #1 on this list because it hands down is the driving force behind your quality of life.

10. Self-Control.
As someone with borderline personality disorder, this is something I have to actively work at on a daily basis. I frequently have that "I'm going to burn my whole life down" feeling, and I'm slowly (like, epically slowly) learning to step back and let these intense moments pass before reacting.

As far as my top ten changing through life. Of course they have. In fact, if I wrote for this prompt in 24 hours, things on this list would probably change. There are so many important values in life that narrowing them down to a list of ten and sticking with that list for a long time seems unlikely, at least for me.

I will say that when I was younger, my top values would have been things like loyalty, dependability, respect, fairness, etc. If you notice, the difference is that when I was younger, I was very reliant on other people so I needed them to be loyal and dependable. As I get older, those things are less important because I've become relatively self-sufficient. I don't need someone to respect me or show me fairness. I've become a lot more inwardly focused on my own growth.

In fact, the only thing I really ask from others at this point as it directly relates to me is to be consistent. If you hate me, hate me consistently. If you love me, love me consistently. I don't care which you choose, but don't flip the script on me.

One of these mornings,
Will be the loudest you hear.
You'll write your story on firecracker paper,
And disappear.

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