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Are You Listening???

by Charlie ~

Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as

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#2030442 by Not Available.

and

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I blog for things like

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FORUM

30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

(13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by FivetricksterTreats

FORUM

JAFBG

(XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
#2094931 by Elisa, Stik-or-Treat

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

👀intu the Darkness

Jul 22, 2023 at 8:05am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey Char, It's been a while since I've touched base with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The last thing people should say is everyone loses their grandparents eventually, or it will get better with time. It's the last thing you want to hear when you're hurting. Death sucks, long-lasting illness sucks! Having to decide to let the person go to keep them from suffering REALLY SUCKS! I think the only ones who can understand truly just how much are those who have had to make that decision. My heart breaks for you.

I'm not religious, but I do have a strong faith in God. I call myself spiritual because I don't agree with all the rules and regulations of religion. I do know I will see my family and friends again, and this is a great comfort. I can only imagine how much more painful the death of loved ones is without this belief. But you're right, it can't be faked. But it is a beautiful thing.

Having mental health issues during times like this makes it even harder to go through. I know what you mean about seeing things that aren't there. I'd walk into a room, and say, "Where's Star?" and she would be sitting right in front of me. When I looked, I swear I saw an empty chair. The mind is crazy. It gives new meaning to a mind of its own

Some time has passed since you wrote this. I don't know when you'll see this but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending good energy your way. I hope you're doing better. I look forward to hearing from you.

Aiva Raine

Mar 28, 2023 at 9:40pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm sorry for your loss. I know they are shitty sounding words that don't even attempt to fill or fix, but they're meant in sincerity.

Having lost several people the best advice I was ever given was when life gets too hard- take it at your own pace. If a day is too much- cope with an hour at a time. If that's too much, take it ten minutes at a time. If that's too much- then you deal with one minute at a time. Work through life and grief at your pace. And don't ever feel guilty because you feel sad. And if you can- find one positive in each chunk of time- even if it's something as little as the beauty of sunlight on a leaf or the softness of your shirt. And ask for help if you need it.

Elle

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:29pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Aw, Charlie, I'm so sorry. It's a shit thing to go through whether it's sudden or not. And just because everyone goes through it, doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't take into account that you were closer to them than your parents. Nobody says 'Oh, everyone loses their parents eventually' do they? Surely not. And that's what's happened here really. I'm actually glad you've got an appointment with a professional tomorrow, because they might be able to help you with getting through that initial devastation.

When my dad lost his mother, he really struggled with his own lack of religion. As you say, there is some comfort in believing they've gone to a better place, been reunited with loved ones, that you'll see them again, and so on. For most of my life, Dad would say 'Religion is a crutch for the weak', but I definitely saw him struggle with the finality of it when he lost his mother, the person he was probably closest to.

My thoughts are with you.

1 Like

~Minja~

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Crazy stuff, grief. If you want to talk about it, message me always.

1 Like

QPdoll

Mar 7, 2023 at 6:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I understand what you mean about wanting to tell your grandmother something. I did the same thing after my grandmother passed. I was at home and the first thing I thought was to call grandma. I picked up the phone and realized that she wouldn't answer. It's so tough losing your grandparents, especially as close as you were. I don't have any magic words, but take care of yourself. It's what they would want.

1 Like

Waltz in the Lonesome October

Mar 6, 2023 at 10:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

1 Like

Anni Pumpkin

Mar 6, 2023 at 9:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I know it doesn't help any, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine much worse than losing a parent or parental figure. They represent stability and safety, you grew up with them, and you've relied on them for most, if not all, of your life. You're right, the initial devastation will fade and things won't feel so fresh. But, as you know, grief never really goes away. It just becomes a permanent part of you.

It's horrible that you only got a couple days worth of bereavement! That's not even long enough for the shock to wear off enough to START grieving. I hope you have the support of someone else in your life to help you through this dark time. Take it easy on yourself in the mean time, that's all you really can do. Taking care of your physical self, eating and sleeping, is critical. Sleep deprivation and hunger will make things feel a million times worse than they actually are (which, for the record, is already pretty bad).

1 Like

Cinn

Feb 20, 2023 at 9:34pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I actually pretty much love this one. Nice, man...

Cinn

Feb 19, 2023 at 11:07am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'd say that more freedom for participants would attract more people. One obvious example that I've never understood is fiction vs poetry. If it's an activity, not a contest, why not allow people to explore whatever the theme of your activity is with whatever type of writing that want to do?

I've actually written for countless contests/activities over the years but never entered... because they inspired me, but I don't fit within the guidelines. Max rating too low, items required (book entries only over here), no poetry accepted, etc.

I know well why people restrict writers' freedom, but they're also restricting the number of participants they'll get. I still just take the inspiration where I can get it.

Elisa, Stik-or-Treat

Feb 19, 2023 at 10:26am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I've had decent participation with Journalistic Intentions (even though I know my prompts are sometimes considered "difficult"). I do think that there's been a bit of a shift in regards to contests and activities, where people have been more open to admitting they find some setups too restricting or that they feel intimidated by contests. I would love to be in discussions to address those issues, but so far I haven't been invited.

November 12, 2019 at 12:03am

#969473

Living in the past pays off?

Artist: The Smiths
Song: Ask
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

Prompt via "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" : What is one thing (sight, smell, sound, object, etc) that, when you encounter it, instantly brings you back to your childhood?

As someone who lives in the past, I have tons of things that instantly bring me back to childhood or even back to specific memories. Don't worry, I won't ramble about all the things. Just a few.

Video rental stores.
You know, like, Blockbuster? If I see an out-of-business video rental store or one that has clearly been transformed into a coffee shop or whatever, I instantly think about being a kid and renting movies for the weekend. We would rent movies pretty much every week. There was something totally magical about judging a movie by its cover and having to commit to watching it without hearing any critic or viewer opinions.

Now I talk myself out of watching movies because I look up the ratings and think it'll probably suck. As a kid though, I discovered so many movies just by looking at the cover, reading a brief summary, shrugging, and renting it from the movie store. You would always finish the movie too because you paid to rent it. It's not like picking something randomly off Netflix and then turning it off 20 minutes in because it's stupid.

I mean, what we have now is obviously more convenient, but there's definitely something lost there.

Vanilla.
Smelling vanilla in any capacity reminds me of my childhood for a couple reasons. One, it reminds me of girls I hung out with wearing vanilla perfume. I actually wrote an entry about this like many, many years ago. But I get kind of homesick when I smell vanilla now because it reminds me of hanging out with my friends.

I also have an extremely vivid memory of my grandmother standing in the kitchen of her house when I was a kid. She was baking something and she almost forgot the vanilla from one of the top cabinets. When she opened it up, the smell just kind of filled the kitchen. I love the smell of vanilla and the connections I have to it.

Fields of any kind.
If I see a photo or artwork featuring a field, I instantly think of where I grew up. If I'm traveling through a rural area and see a field, my reaction can be anything from homesickness to panic. No idea why. There were just a lot of fields where I was raised so it's an insta-transport for me.

Wax candy bottles.
These things

for those who don't know. They're not even good, but they remind me of being a kid. I feel like we got them for Halloween sometimes and we could never agree on whether the wax bottles were edible or not. My feeling was that the wax was disgusting, so there was no reason to eat it regardless of whether or not it was technically safe to eat. My brother's feeling was that the actual 'candy' part of the wax bottle is so minimal that the wax bottle must be intended for consumption.

Thunder.
I used to be terrified of thunderstorms during childhood. I have no idea why. It's weird because I love them so much now. As a kid though, I would actually watch the weather, which is absurd for a child because the news is the most boring thing ever when you're 7 or 8 years old. But I'd watch just to see if it was going to storm so I could make sure to be anxious about it because I was that kid.

Now when I see dark skies and hear thunder rolling in the distance, it kind of makes me smile because I was so terrified of something that turned out to not be scary at all. It makes me wonder what things I'm scared of now that aren't deserving of my fear.

If it's not love,
Then it's the bomb,
Then it's the bomb that will bring us together

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