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Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as
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I blog for things like
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Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head


November 5, 2019 at 12:10am
November 5, 2019 at 12:10am
#969016
Artist: Pixies
Song: Wave of Mutilation
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*Treefall3* *Leaf* Prompt via "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUSOpen in new Window.: Write your entry today inspired by one of the emotions listed on this webpage  Open in new Window.. *Leaf* *Treefall3*


I can honestly say I've felt every single emotion in this list. I never knew there was a name for all of them, but I should have guessed! *Laugh*

The strongest for me are:

*Bullet* Liberosis: The desire to care less about things.
I feel like this all the time. I'm always saying things like, "I wish I could stop thinking. I wish I could just relax." I see other people who seem to be totally carefree and I feel so envious. *Envy* Sometimes I'll bring up one of my wild, anxiety-riddled fears, looking for validation, and I'm met with a confused look and, "Uh, never thought about that..."

And I'm just sitting thinking about the fact that it's the ONLY thing I've thought about for 2 weeks. All the little unnecessary worries and fears that consume the mind and time of an anxious person just feels awful. Knowing all of the things I've worried about that never actually came to fruition or wasn't nearly as bad as I'd anticipated just makes me think of all the time I've wasted.


*Bullet* Anemoia: nostalgia for a time you’ve never known
I get this one so intensely. Sometimes I'll see a painting or watch a movie or read a book and I just feel this intense nostalgia even though I never experienced what I'm seeing/reading before. My brain is like, Ugh, yeah, I really miss Italy. And then I remember that I've never been there in my entire life and haven't even been anywhere remotely similar.

I get so sad, like, oh that time is in the past now. You know, that time that never existed. *Laugh*


*Bullet* Sonder: the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own
Honestly, this one is just evident in the way that people act in society. It's very clear to me that everyone is wrapped up in their own lives and the experiences they're having. There's nothing wrong with that at all. Everyone is going through personal issues so I can't possibly expect them to really focus on others, but I also really can't ignore the fact that everyone I meet is fighting their own battle. And I don't think we should ignore that. I think we should acknowledge it in our daily interactions.


*Bullet* Keta: an image that inexplicably leaps back into your mind from the distant past
Last one for tonight as I'm not feeling super well, but this one... This is the mother of all the terms on the list. I get this on a daily basis and never knew there was a word for it or other people who experienced it too. For example, I close my eyes and see a very specific clip of a long ago memory. Just a flash of an image and I feel transported back to that moment.

I thought at one point that this might be related to an attention deficit disorder, but seeing it hear makes me think others might have it frequently too. Sometimes I feel a bit panicked when I get a flashbang image from the past that pops into my head. I'm just like why? Why now? Why here?



Cease to resist, giving my goodbye
Drive my car into the ocean
You think I'm dead, but I sail away
On a wave of mutilation


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