%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 16:30 I feel I haven't done much of anything today. I finally sewed a pair of pants I'd measured and cut several days ago but it's one of four garments that need sewing and making pants doesn't require a whole lot of effort. Plus, it's quite warm here these days, adding to the lazy feeling. I have less than two weeks before I'm due to upload my first draft of the Blugaste story. Still on the introductory chapter. I added a quote to one of my assignments and that was about it. I'm useless. My cousin, who has come to stay a while, has been reading my Rift-Touched novel. The feeling of being able to ask questions about my own story, to see what she thought and whether she found anything amiss, was awesome! I guess it's always going to be like that when someone shows an interest - at least, I hope it will always be like that. I'd hate to get used to that feeling, because everybody's input is valuable with regard to my stories. Any opinion shared can be an opportunity for me to better my work. In other news, back during Ramadan, I was grousing to my friends about how the nice guy character in K-dramas never seems to win his love interest's heart, since it goes to the male lead who's usually brash, arrogant, and really annoying but improves over the course of the story. So I said I would write a story where Mr Nice Guy wins her heart for once. Another project to look into. Hmm...maybe I can do that for Nano this year. Only four months left!!  16:42 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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